Quote From: thegreeneyespyLet me tell you that I have truly enjoyed this show over the years and I have always thought Dr. Phil and his staff have done some really terrific, wonderful and helpful things for people. This season I have to say though, that I really feel like he is just going for SOME SERIOUS SHOCK VALUE. I have seen this in several of his shows this year where he seems to prod, poke, humiliate and degrade a person to bring out what I call the most SHOCKING AND DISTURBING
parts you can.
I want to say that I AM IN NO WAY DEFENDING THIS MAN'S BEHAVIOR. What he has done has been totally deplorable and inexcusable and the "creepy behavior" he is displaying seems to be developing a life of its own. I really think him and his behavior are boarding on the "IF I CAN'T HAVE HER NO ONE WILL" type of situation. HE NEEDS SOME SERIOUS HELP NOW. I do believe that IF it continues one or both of them will be dead. I also see he cannot take accountability or responsibility for his own actions.
I spent way too many years in a physical and emotional abusive relationship, and I truly believe that the emotional and mental abuse that someone receives can be FAR WORSE and have longer lasting effects than physical. I finally found the nerve and the courage and guts to get out
of it. This was after he went as far as trying to smother me one night while I was trying to sleep and I truly believe that if my oldest child had not walked into the room he would have killed me. I realize to that I am extremely lucky because I have a wonderful family that had the monetary means in which to help me. I am totally grateful for their continued support in all ways. While I also realize my 11 yr old son has been doggoned with ODD, Bi-Polar Disorder and Unterminated Explosive Disorder and he has some serious EXTREME BEHAVIOR issues, I believe some of it can be traced back to "the effect on the child". It stills continues to be a challenge to get him on the right track and its something we continue to take "one day at a time."
After I finally got out, I spent a couple years participating in a battered women's support group and I do believe that they are one the biggest reasons that I don't have that extreme bitterness and hate inside me and I don't let what happened to me then, and what I allowed to happen to me then control my life now. I now volunteer sometimes and try to help other women to help
them see that you can get out and have a normal happy life. The reason I bring this up is it will play a part further down in this post.
This is also what I saw. Is she as INNOCENT in all this as she is putting on to be? I never saw one tear on her face while she was doing all her sobbing. I also noticed that she is NOT taking ANY ACCOUNTABILITY OR RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER OWN ACTIONS.
I did NOT see ONE OUNCE of REMORSE on her face or in her body language for her affairs, and I noticed a really smiley smirk on her face when he kept talking about her going out to bars with her friends. Some of the people on this board from what I have been reading don't believe her going out happens that often, but it sounded like it did to me and she did nothing to deny it. Once again she had the smart smirk on her face. On the majority I have seen that 99%
of the times when one partner cuts the other off completely from a sexual relationship, it usually means (not always, but those are few and far between) that there is someone else involved. I am not saying she is, but I get the gut feeling that she is still having an affair with someone else.
I do know FIRST HAND what it feels like to have a spouse cheat on you and your marriage and to a certain extent it does make you paranoid and suspicious to the point where you question everything they do and everywhere they go. What I feel started out with this guy as being some kind of amateur spying to watch her has totally taken control of his life at this point and I believe its the SPYING AND VOYEURISM ITSELF that he is obsessed with now. I can't count the number of times I have seen Dr. Phil have couples on his show when one has been unfaithful and he always asks them are you ready to own this, and if you are you need to be prepared to have your life cross examined at all times and it has to be an open book for as long as it takes to make the other partner fill secure. While I feel this continues to remain true, this guy has taken it to an UNACCEPTABLE AND SHOCKING "CREEPY LEVEL."
Now, was she willing to make her life an open book and be held accountable. I say NO she wasn't and I don't believe she had any intention of doing so. Here once again I notice from her body language that she appeared to enjoy inflicting the hurt on him by cheating. (Maybe her way of getting even) I could be reading it wrong, but I am not sure and I really don't think so. Dr.
Phil made the comment that he saw something in HIS eyes while asking him a
question and I saw this gleam of glee in hers of him knowing and finding out about her cheating.
Now lets look at the pictures he was taking of her. She was shifting very uncomfortably in her chair and he looked at her several times as if to say. HOW MUCH DO I TELL? There was a funny look on both their faces at this time which leads me to believe and assume (maybe wrongly) that in the past there has probably been some kinky forms of sexual entertainment by these two
where she was a WILLING PARTICIPANT. AGAIN. JUST MY OPINION!
There was one comment he made and I believe his body language and his eye contact seemed to indicate that he was being truthful and this goes back to my helping at the battered women's shelter. It was the comment he made that she seemed to try to push and goad him into a physical altercation. I can not even begin to tell you the women that tell me that they provoked him to the point of hitting her so she could put him in jail and get away. Here once again,
she seemed to have that SMIRK on her face, LET ME SAY NOW IT IS AN EXTREMELY SMALL percentage of women that have the guts and courage to go to this extreme, it takes a lot out of you, and can QUICKLY AND EASILY BACKFIRE. You usually find that women who go to this extreme feel totally and completely trapped (WHICH I BELIEVE SHE TRULY FELT) and will grasp at any straw for escape. I believe this is what she was trying to accomplish to get him put in jail. Again, I could be wrong, but I don't think so, AND REMEMBER IT IS ONLY MY OPINION!
He did try to skirt around issues and questions asked of him several times and it appeared he did not want to answer some directly, but for some of it, I don't know if he had the verbal communication to put into words what he wanted to say. For the other part, I think he was still trying to place the blame on her. I guess what has me bothered the most is the amount of humiliation Dr.
Phil put on this guy to totally degrade and humiliate him. I know over the years I have heard him say too many times that doing that will get you NO WHERE SO WHY PARTAKE IN IT?
HERE AGAIN NOT ONE OF BIT OF THIS EXCUSES HIS BEHAVIOR. This guy is in some serious trouble and action needs to be taken RIGHT NOW, and until it is, I do believe that whatever needs to be done to get her and children away from him until he does get some intensive help and possible medication(s) needs to be done right this minute and not a second later.
First of all, this so-called marriage was more like a twisted father-daughter union than anything else. A 30 yr old man shouldn't have much interest or much in common with a 19 yr girl. It was about obsession and control from the start for him. I'm guessing that she has a troubled history which might explain why she allowed herself to get pregnant and marry a 'father' figure. 11 years might not be a huge age difference but it is when one of the parties is just barely out of high school. She never got to do the typical things that young people do, she never learned how to be independent, self-reliant and self-sufficient. I don't doubt that she 'feels' trapped. I'm sure she doubts her ability to take care of herself and 3 kids on her own. She can do it, with help, but she doesn't know that yet. This girl is extremely immature and emotionally stunted and still has a 19 yr old's mentality. This type of behavior is not uncommon from those who marry too young.
She said he's been like this from the day they met but it's gotten much worse since her affairs started. She needs to figure out why she chose such a controlling man to begin with but that's not the pressing issue at the moment. I think Dr. Phil is focusing on Jeff's issues more because that's where the 'fire' is, so to speak. Jeff is disturbed and dangerous, and I have no doubt that he could snap and kill this woman. Her behavior is atrocious but noone can drive you to do anything. People have affairs everyday but not everyone becomes a stalking freak over it. He's gone wayyyyy over the top and someone will die if this continues.
About her provoking him to violence - some abused women have done that because they 'know it's coming' and they want it over with. They see the pattern of behavior begin and I think it's easier for them if they can 'see' it coming thus they provoke it.
This woman would've probably cheated on him whether he was a freak or not. She was too young, immature, and too vulnerable to be married at that age. With the situation as it is now, she's probably desperate for acceptance, validation and what she perceives to be 'healthy' connections with people. More often than not, woman cheat for different reasons than men. I'm not excusing her behavior but I think she resents this guy so much that she is, in fact, getting some enjoyment out of hurting him.
I noticed the same smirks on her face as you did. I think she's become somewhat numb and truthfully, I doubt she has any good feelings left for this man. Would anybody? That could explain her lack of tears. Her tears will come bigtime if/when she has to go it alone with her kids.
As far as their sexual preferences, sharing pictures with whomever, etc - I don't make judgments on any of that...as long as it's consensual and noone is hurt by it. I'm not sure we'll get the complete truth on that issue during the show.
I also notice the changes in Dr. Phil's show content. There's much more shock and drama this season. Unfortunately, the world has gone nuts and these people he's got on the show are real - and their dysfunction is real. I have noticed that the show concentrates on more of the 'drama' aspect than the 'healing' process. We basically hear all of the dirt then he offers to get them counseling when they get back home. Having said that, some of these disturbed people make the show more captivating in some respects. Hate to admit that, but it's the truth - for me.
Jeffrey and Jennifer's shocking and complicated story continues. During their 11-year marriage, Jeffrey has become so obsessed with Jennifer, he watches her every move. He has installed a GPS system in her car, taps her phone conversations, takes inappropriate pictures of her and watches her while she sleeps. Dr. Phil probes deep into Jeffrey's mind to find out why he acts the way he does. Is there any boundary Jeffrey won't cross when it comes to controlling his wife? Then, how are Jennifer and Jeffrey's three children being affected by the madness in the house? Their eldest child has been an eyewitness to his father's schemes. And, while Dr. Phil speaks one on one with Jennifer, Jeffrey has a total meltdown backstage, becoming physically ill. When Dr. Phil confronts him about his anxieties and offers a solution, will Jeffrey choose to make a change? Don’t miss the second part of this dramatic and emotional story, and find out if this family is on the path to healing or headed to divorce court. Join the discussion.
