Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Tyrannize: To rule or control completely.

Connive:To ignore a known wrong,therefore implying sanction; to conspire; to cooperate in secret.

Alienate: tranfer; estrange.

   I don't beleive that his behavior, any longer, has anything to do with the affairs that she had early on in their marrage! Remember they have been together for 11 years. If that was the case has she been serving a 8 or 9 year sentence for those affairs? I don't think so, its so far beyond that now.

  Will he turn this behavior towards his children? Has he already done so? They had to have been in the house when he turns the heat up, is he taking pictures of them too? (his daughters)

Will they be allowed friends and relatives into their lives? I beleive that his obsession will turn to them when they are a little older and want to have freinds over or take part in school/church activities. Will they grow up to model this behavior? How  are they dealing with the situations that have taken place aready? What do they feel? Is he monitoring their every move? If he is not now , I beleive he will. He will have beaten their self esteen down as well,  and he will call the girls the same names that he calls his wife.

  I saw at the end of the show how Jennifer felt sorry for the way Jeffery was feeling and she reached out toward him, and I felt "oh no" she actually feels sorry for him. That is exactly what he wants. Then I thought " well if she does love him and wants to try to save this union then by all means she should try." But  she is so young and naive, does she really knows how she feels?

 Jeffery truely does need deep intense help and I hope he can get it.

I truely hope that all of them can be healed!

I really enjoyed reading what you wrote. I think that she will be as safe when she leaves. This man is only powerful because she is giving him permission. Once a man like this one loses his power, I am only 24 years old but I have been through enough to know that he won't continue. Her fear is provoking him because some men seek this. When a woman starts screaming or feels fearful they become stronger. Their goals to hurt them become stronger. Do you remember the stories of Cinderella? She got locked up, and her step mother no longer had power once she was free. I think that that is the lesson of that story, but I think that there are many others as well, of course I change that around when I am around kids:) This works the same way. She is free once she says and continues to say no. The problem is that he will move on to another girl. The more powerful he feels the more dangerous that he becomes. He would have already done something more to Jennifer and his kids if he was going to, this is just a game to him, and she needs to stand up for herself, but he needs to go away in this case for her to do that, and that is one of the reasons why he is doing what he is doing so that he can control and manipulate because this is the way that he likes to live his life.

Is this Jeffery trying to "CONTROL" the message board.  Because any one with any sense would see your situation with far more clarity.  Sorry buddy.  Nice try...

I can't stop thinking about the show yesterday... I think the whole situation is sad. There are so many different opinions and responses to this situation. I am so sick of people feeling sorry for her though. I am not at all taking his side or trying to defend him. He is wrong period, but she is guilty too. I'm tired of people saying that cheating is not a big deal and that she was so young and still wanted to have fun and enjoy life. Well so sorry.. she chose to marry him even if she was only 19. She is a married woman and should act like one. It made me sick to watch her up on stage acting like she is innocent and a victim. I wanted to vomit. I can't imagine the pain and fear she must feel but I believe her actions have led to some of the problem. She cheated and she certainly doesn't deserve any of this treatment from her husband... but people need to quit babying her and say "oh honey, it's ok you cheated... oh poor baby.. you poor little victim." It needs to stop. She is guilty and I think that needs to be addressed as well. They are both quilty of breaking their marriage a part. ITS EQUAL even though his is way more extreme!!!!!!!!!

 Keeping it Simple

• He's in need of psychiatric help.
•  She's very possibly in physical danger.
•  She wants out of the marriage.
• He will do anything to stay married to her.
• He's obsessed and exhibits disturbing and possibly dangerous behaviourisms.
•  She's had affairs - in her home - outside her home.
•  She's in need of psychiatric help.
• She went out with male work mate - friend - and lied to him.
• He has reason to be suspicious.
• He has no right to violate her privacy.
• He has no right to hold her prisoner in any capacity.
• They have both indicated that they have taken nude photos and shared them with others.
• They both exhibit deviant behaviours.
• They both needing long term therapy in order to become healthy, productive individuals in society.
• Their children need therapy to deal with the future break up of the family.
• Their children will need therapy to deal with their parents behaviour being televised on international television.
• Their children should never watch re-runs of the Dr. Phil Show, nor should their children's peers to avoid therapy due to the broadcast of their parents behaviour on the Dr. Phil show.

Although I am certainly NOT condoning his behavior, the wife definitely owns part of the blame, since she was the one screwing around in the first place.  He is definitely nuts, but she is an unfaithful wife.  You reap what you sow in this life and since he wasn't like this until he caught her (and still continues to catch her) fooling around, she's now reaping....I don't know why he would want to stay with her, anyway, if she cheats on him.  Even sending suggestive e-mails on My Space is cheating of sorts.  Cheating to me is anything you do with someone of the opposite sex that you wouldn't want your spouse to find out about. 

They should definitely part ways!

I have one question - Why is this man not in jail?  He is not controlling her...he is victimizing her!!!  He has no insight into his behaviors and blames her for his actions.  She has no choice but to leave him but I fear for her safety.  Please help her.  If there was ever a time that someone needed you... it is now!