Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

To all you people that have harsh words for Jennifer:

Listen up, she married Jeffrey when she was 19 years old.  He started his controlling behavior from day one.  It is very subtle, and seems sweet on the surface.  As the years go on, it builds into this horrible situation.  For all of you, men and women, who think women like to be mentally or physically abused you are wrong and you are stupid for even thinking that.  Abuse doesn't happen overnight.  Also, normally after the abuse there is a "honeymoon period" where the husband is overly nice and concerned, lulling the wife into a false sense of security.  I fear for Jennifer's safe.  I watched this program with my husband who felt the same way as I did.  Men that are caring and kind could see right through that freak. 

I have to say I am so angry that people today still think that a battered woman (emotionally or physically) likes it.  You are so wrong.   My mother was physically and mentally abused throughout her 12 year marriage.  She divorced my dad when divorce was not really acceptable.  She had nowhere to turn, there were no shelters back then.  He through me across the room when I stopped him from hitting her, so you have no idea what the wife and the children go through in an abusive household.  I saw my mother bleeding from the forehead (because he threw a glass at her), he strangled her, shot at her with a gun, tried to suffocate her, so please at no time did my mother enjoy any of it.  He threatened to kill her and take me and my sister.

So in the future, shut up unless you understand the situation of abuse.  My prayers are for Jennifer and her children, I hope they get out.

Terri

Maybe she's a cheater, but first and foremost, she's an emotionally abused woman who married a mentally ill man at the age of 19.  We have no idea of what he may have put her through as she was coming into adulthood.  I'd guess he started isolating her immediately.  I think that's why the Dr didn't "take her inventory".  No point right now; she needs to get away and get ongoing therapy.  People in her situation can make HORRIBLE decisions.  I know, because I did, too - it's a sick cycle.  You want "out" in whatever way you can get because you feel so bad, and it just makes things worse, and you feel worse about yourself, and he makes you feel worse, and you take another opportunity for anything, and so on and so forth.

He doesn't want help so much as he wants to keep his wife.  Dr Phil already recognizes how sick this guy is.  I think the Dr evaluated just how sick this guy is with his hard-hitting questions, and now his goal is to separate them and get this guy help before he completely looses it and hurts her, the kids and himself.

Hi, I'm new to the board as I'm usually at work when its on, but I caught the last two day on Jennifer and Jeff .  

Before the break preceding Dr. Phil's final comments, I saw her reach out to Jeff, touch his arm and ask him if he was ok..........that is something I will keep with me for a long long time and I wish I could personally thank her for that. .  She is a sweet woman and I wish her the best.

Susie H.

I think you meant to respond to bestinlife instead of me.

this guy is a wimp.

the fact that he has to abuse girls in any way to feel in control is disgusting.

I wish you all the best with this man, Dr. Phil.  Him gaining control over his destructive emotions will be important no matter what happens in his marriage.  If they stay married (of which I am doubtful - Jennifer looked as if he's killed any love she had for him) his getting help will make him a better father toward his 3 children.  And if they divorce, he will be a good co-parent with Jennifer.  The last thing Jennifer needs is to worry about what is happening to her children on the weekends Jeffrey has them.  She doesn't need a phone call from 5 states away saying he has the children and she will never see them again.  The one negative thing I kept hearing Jeffrey say was "I want to be married and have a family".  I didn't hear him say "I want to be married to Jennifer and I want these children."  That bothered me very much...because I've been there...under the control of a man...in my first marriage...in the 1970's long before there was help.  I know what Jennifer is feeling...I stayed for 7 years.

Thank you, Dr. Phil, for helping Jennifer and Jeff.  I'm so impressed with the way you handled this situation, and the words of wisdom you spoke.  You were so wise to get Jeff help without letting him go back home, and to ask Jennifer to wait until he went through treatment before taking action on divorce proceedings.  Otherwise, we all know that Jeff would have refused to go to the treatment facility -- and that's a very scary thought, because now he feels even more out of control.  It will be interesting to see if he actually stays in the facility.  If he doesn't stay, Jennifer needs physical protection.  I believe that if Jennifer files for divorce before Jeff becomes more stable that he will kill her. 

My father is extremely abusive.  He is very controlling and manipulative -- just like Jeff.  My mother left him after 25 years of marriage with only the clothes on her back.  A friend loaned her the money to fly to a secret location over a thousand miles from my father.  She still lives in fear of him.  I hope and pray Jeff will become emotionally stable, but if not, I hope Jennifer will move far, far away to a top-secret location. 

Dr. Phil, you never cease to amaze me.  I get so much from your show, and I thank God such a good man of integrity, intelligence and common sense was found by Hollywood.  You've made us a healthier, better nation.   

God bless you and precious Robin.  I adore both of you.

Best regards,

Lori

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