Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

I hope this man gets the help he needs and so others with this all too common (but usually hidden) disordercan see that it is perfectly OK to ask for help!!! I praise this man for writing to get help, reguardless of his thought process! It takes guts to go on national (or international) television with this sort of embarassing disorder/behavior and acknowledge that he has a problem.

I pray too for this beautiful, incredible woman, that she has the courage to no longer put up with the behavior.  Thank God she has Dr. Phil to help her get out if she needs to! Good for Dr. Phil for letting her decide, and thus giving control back to her for her own life, and that of her kids!

Most women don't have that sort of resources, and shelters for women and children are unfortunately full on a regualr basis... There needs to be more funding for people in her situation!

Families need to step up as well and be there for the people in their lives that are dealing with a spouse, child, or other family member with mental illnesses, and realize that to not help, to leave children or even that individual in a situation such as this where one's living is threatened, that family needs to step up and help, whether it means taking a family member and kids in for an indefinite time, sending money to help them or whatever.

Our justice system needs to not only make laws about stalking & mental health behaviors that are scarey if not dangerous to others, but law enforcement needs to enforce the laws on the books, least we have more things like the shooter at VA Tech.

Good for both of these adults for going on the Dr. Phil show and for BOTH of them getting help together!!! A success of this couple would go MILES in helping others reach out for the help they may need (although if you are one of these two, it is NOT your responsibility for your marriage to work!)

It seems to me that weather this family stays together or not isn't the measure of success here! The fact that they asked for much needed help is a success in and of itself and I wish them and theri famlies well!

I think without any intervention I get the feeling that a suicide (if not murder-suicide) would have likely happened. The guys hesitation before answering the "What ifs" questions was scarey to say the least... As well as NO answer to what if your wife and kids did leave you!?! (followed by no answer!!! Just that his greatest fear was waking up and his family not being there - scarey stuff!)

Great pick-up Dr. Phil's staff!!! Now, can you see my neighbor who says & does all sorts of strange things, has pulled out a gun on supposedly 'kids' that were supposedly 'on his trailer' (It was the rain making noise & this guy hallucinating, spray painted his mother's driveway (where he lives in a trailor), said 'they were in your house' shortly after my home was broken into, along with other strange things. The police have been over to that house who knows how many times, they make take him away for a few days, he's back there and seems to cool off VERY shortly, then starts talking at people who have chosen to ignore him (myself included) saying things that are disturbing... He's offered me drugs, sex, etc. (which I declined) and yet he keeps going on with the sick comments (sometimes sexual, sometimes simply disturbing.)

Dr. Phil, PLEASE let us know what we can do when there is someone in our neighborhood who watches our homes on our cul-de-sac (from his comments some of us have figured this out), has broken in when I was not home, the kids in the neighborhood (as well as the parents, grandparents and great grandparents) will not allow their kids out if he is out there, and after the incident with the gun (that happened when my grandkids were at my hoome) I do not want them here, as I fear for their sfety as long as this man is here...

In my experience, restraining orders are essentially meaningless and are not upheld in our area (even if you document over and over, call police, take to court, etc.) I was told that they are simply "not effective/not enforced" (by another mental health professional) and that getting one against this guy was not adviseable... I was told to simply ignore him (which aside from the gun incident and when my home was broken into, I have ignored it (except the one time when I didn't really get to know him yet, he invited me over for a game of chess, which turned into him asking me for sex, offering me drugs for sex, etc. and when I was leaving, he urinated on his mother's home wall.)

What do we do!?! My neighbors and I are tired of having to even see this guy around, and I have serious concerns about him being around children (or even me!), as do my neighbors... We now ALL lock our doors when we are home (and not always even alone!) The police, I'm sure, tire of coming out over and over (I've only talked to them twice, but from what I hear, they're over there all the time, and I think he might be feeding on this???) I don't know his diagnosis(es), although I'd guess at least schitzophrenia, probably bi-polar disorder, and perhaps other things as well...

I'm guessing the wife in this story isn't the only one who's been victimized by the guy who went on your show, BUT I am glad this man is man enough to step up and take help! I hope he can be a role model for others with problems and allow them to know that getting help is not only OK, but is essential!!!

I had an aunt & godmother murdered by a man just like this. I see why my aunt got a restraining order on this man. just later to chard her with it as if to say I still got you.

Please this is nothing to take lightly the crazy person he is he just might kill her then what can we do about it.

I care

Pls dont let this happen to you..

running from any problem is never the answer, that won't solve anything that is thrown to you in life. People can change if they want to, change for the better he has a beautiful family there and the trust will come it takes time eh, patience takes time, everything in life takes time no matter what it is. I hope this family makes it especially for those kids.

 

I was really happy to see that  Dr Phil's  said to her: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!  IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! AND YOU REALLY NEED HELP, YOU NEED A PARTNER TO HELP YOU WITH THIS!  AND I AM GOING TO HELP!! 

 

Only  who suffered the agony to be with somebody who emotionally and financially CONTROLLED YOU AND ABUSED YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THIS CASE. 

 

This is traumatic and kill you everyday and every moment, to the extreme that you can not think clear!  This woman expressed honestly her feelings.

 

This show has a time frame to present the stories, and to talk about domestic violence  is not easy !

 

For experience, I know the legal system doesn't work , and Dr Phil knows that.

 

To get order of protection,  child support, to even get a fair divorce is very hard, and you will need money and time to do that., on top of all the sufferings you have.

 

DEFINITELY THIS SHOW WILL HELP THIS FAMILY AND OTHER PEOPLE.

 

Thank God! Dr Phil is rescueing her and her children!!! 

 

This man is very selfish. He used all the excuses to control her and abused her, to the extreme even to get her pregnant for his own purpose. He is a COWARD. 

 

There is not an easy way in this situation, and  no  winners in this drama! 

 I know she will  do anything to avoid more trauma to  her children. 

 

if she divorce him or not, we should respect her choice.

 

IF THIS MAN GO TO THE SPECIAL PROGRAM DR. PHIL RECOMMENDED, SOMETHING GOOD WILL COME FOR THE BENEFIT OF THIS FAMILY!

 

Good Job Dr Phil!

 

DR.PHIL,

               I have been watching your show with the obsessive love situation and it reminds me of "Sleeping With The Enemy" times 100!!  Hopefully it won't turn into.."Misery"    He has gone past the point of no return with such a loving wife. She is a VERY strong woman to remain in that kind of a situation...tells me she is 110% devoted to her kids.

                                                                                                     At the end of today's show when he was given one last attempt to mend this marriage,and his wife turned to him and put her hand on his arm...I DID CRY!! That was a very emotional gesture on her part that she really would like to see this marriage saved.

                                     But...there will be no if's,and's or butt's if he fails his attempt  to mend himself,which I will feel really sorry for her and the kids if this does happen.IF he REALLY wants this,they will have a very happy marrige,which I hope will happen.Thanks for your time!!

                                                                                                                                                              Mark

Telling someone to leave the situation they are in is always easier said than done, especially when you are not in  their shoes 24/7 with  the mentally/emotionally ill spouse.  For her or any woman to remain in said situation for as long as they do is for many reasons, some financial some directly related to the kids.  She doesn't have to justify  why to anyone why other than herself, her kids, and God.  I am not by any stretch of the imagination saying that her husband's behaviors/rationale as to why he does what he does is perfectly fine. As Dr. Phil said, there are kids involved, and to end it now would make it so explosive for her and the kids, that she may feel as though she's safer staying with him than leaving.