Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

He is too far over the edge...  the thing that struck me the most  was that he was always justifying his actions.... 

 

What he has done has been way beyond any boundaries a normal person may even come close to doing.   checking a cell phone is one thing, but the things he was doing was disgusting even by psycho standards.....

 

He will only be able to get better if he is REAL with himself, and i have not seen that in him...  There is no saving this relationship, and anyone who thinks so is kidding themselves.  he is too far gone, she is too far gone.... 

 

He will go the clinic put on a show and come out and say see I did this for you, blah blah blah....then he will go back to doingt he same thing....she will more than likely sleep around while he is in there....

 

Nothing good will come out of any of this....

 

People have posted on here, people can't change...that is garbage....If you want to change and have a desire to correct things you know are causing prob;lems in arelationship, you can change....But Jeff does not want to change, he basically said that when the show started.... 

 

I missed it if she worked....  not sure....if not nothing will change for her....  she will see the bars as her escape, and continue her own destructive behavior.....

 

Two rights don't make a wrong...One wrong and one right don't make it right....

 

But for sure in this case.....

 

TWO WRONGS HAVE MADE IT A COMPLETE MESS!!!!!!

 

 

Dr. Phil knows that without any hope of continuing his marriage with Jennifer, Jeffrey will inwardly refuse to particpate in this therapy.  He could even fool the therapist if he is good enough.  That will make for an extremely dangerous situation in the future even with an immediate divorce.  At least now he will hopefully open up his mind and heart to therapy.

 

For the sake of peace for the children and their mom and dad, we should all refrain from judging their actions from the past and try to at least help them try to get through this. 

 

I have read some really ugly comments from many here who have been hurt in the past.

 

 Our love and caring in our comments need to come through to help these children and this family. 

 

To Jennifer...focus on your children and your relationship with them.  All the love you will need right now will come from them and the future will take care of itself.

 

To Jeffrey....You need to take all the help you can get from these people.  The more you accept and improve the more you will be able to  be involved  with your family in their future.

 

To Dr. Phil.... Please stay on top of this because, as you are well aware , this has the potential to improve or to get really  really ugly and possibly violent.  This is  one of the few shows  of yours that I have seen that has some real potential danger.  Being in demand as you are this could fall through the cracks.  PLEASE do not let that happen.

 

To all... .  Before you hit that " Post" button, think about what you are about to send one more time.  Look deep into your heart and see if what you wrote is going to help three children and their family.   Remember this is not about us, it is not about Jeffrey or Jennifer or even Dr. Phil.  This is all about trying to keep as much peace in the future for three children and a family which includes mom and dad.

 

love and caring to all...mike

This man is crazy she is scared of him & I know somewhat how she feels

My aunt was murdered by just a boyfriend. she had a restraining order for him but this little piece of papper just helped egnight the flame he used to burn and kill her...

 

I understand a couple of your points; however, from my own personal experience that is similar to this story,  I can tell you it's easy to Judge if you're not in the situation.  Having no where to go and no money is not a "cop out" When you have been with someone from such a young age and the other person controls all finances, resources are taken from you, you're isolated and have had it drilled in your head that you're worthless, that you're nothing without them, that you'd never make it on your own, and they threaten to use or take the children it is the most helpless feeling in the world.  People can sit back and say oh..comeon I'd never put up with this or that, but you don't know until you've lived the life they have and have been subjected to the mental and emotional abuse.  My heart broke for this woman and her children as I watched and understood how helpless she has felt for such a long time.  Yeah, maybe this woman has done a few inappropriate things, but she's human and not beyond making mistakes.  Making mistakes and bad judgments does not make her deserving of the abuse she has suffered.  I commend Dr. Phil on his judgment call to get this man much needed help instead of just telling her to get out because when pushed in a cornor I believe this man would turn violent once he loses the control he has had, his emotions would take over and there would be detrimental consequences for all involved.  Thank God for Dr. Phil and his insight, compassion and willingness to help those in need.  THANK YOU DR. PHIL for all you do to help others.

I dont think the hubby will be able to get a life back on track with only 1 or 2 weeks in

 

therapy...

 

Being like this, his all life so it will take years before he can manage his behavior if he keeps

 

doing therapy. I see people with problems almost everyday volunteering and i can tell

 

"years is needed to change" and that need a lot of strenght and determination.

 

I pray God to give you the power you need for a change in a positive way Jennifer but hubby

 

get ready for a big work if you are REALLY  sincere.

 

Have a wonderful day

 

 

Dear Jennifer (if you are reading this)

I have been in a relationship for 11 years myself, not married yet, and I'm 27. The guy you are with certainly is not worthy of you, I think it is clear to both you and I. I would go so far as to say he was not worthy of you (when you decided to cheat)(post bikini shots, etc.....have sexy nights out, all that)(we all have different goodtimes). Now the reason I am telling you all this is because the only answer is to divorce this man. Why? I'll tell you why. You have brought out the beast in this man. The beast. He is unleashed, and he will never return to his cage until he is placed there by authorities. Face facts, Dr. Phil was only joking when he asked you not to file for divorce. Let's face it, the game of cat and mouse is over, or coming to an end slowly, I'm not sure how long ago this was taped, but I believe you have filed for divorce by now because you have to know that there is no going back and if you do, you know that he will never be able to control himself, because.....he is threatened by you. It is too late. He doesn't like the actions that have happened, he's mad, and he will be mad always. DO NOT FORGET IT. NOW when you are at the divorce lawyer, make sure you get into the witness protection program because there is a chance he may KILL YOU. Please take care, and I just want to tell you personally that had I known you, I WOULD HAVE BEEN A FRIEND BECAUSE my mother ran from Boston to El Paso from my father in 1979 and he NEVER saw me again until I was a late teenager and I decided. You can do this! I hope by now you have let DR. Phil invest a little resource in you and you are well on your way with PROOF! to a happy fulfilling life. Bottom line, Jeffrey is too jealous for you, you are more secure with who you are enough to have male friends, and who knows, maybe he wants female friends and doesn't wish for you to have male friends and is bias. Well at any rate, you know that the type of man you want is one that is probably doing the same 'type' stuff you're up to, I mean right? And that is alright Jenny.

-Sachi25

are you joking dr. phil?  i don't give him 2 days in the facility you send him to.  i am afraid we will see her sad story on "nancy grace" that he has stalked her and the kids and did harm to them.  i would have had your harold copas or whomever, set up a protective surveillance around her and the family.  i saw insincerity and evil in him, i didn't see one vein of willingness to change behavior or willingness to admit he was wrong; he kept blaming the whole situation on her.  she should get out immediately.  i really do fear for her and the children.  i would be looking over my shoulder everywhere i went. talk about an anxiety attack.........

Thank you, Dr. Phil, as well as every member of your staff, including the crew that captured the video at the couple's house. Your handling of this mess was superb! Rather than use old therapy methods (Freudian, Gestalt, etc.) to handle this extreme mess, you, using cognitive therapy, gave both the wife and the husband alternatives and choices to adopt in order to get beyond the gross dysfunction that has defined their relationship for far, far too, too long!  I've watched all of your shows on CBS since you started it because of my life-long fascination with therapy as it relates to correcting negative situations in human life, and you successfully continue to fascinate me immensely!

 

Terry

I never heard of this explaination for excessive sexual behavior before,  it makes sense! 

 

I gotta wonder if my ex-husband is a latent homosexual cause he had to prove his manhood

through his penis, everystep of the way.  He chased every skirt that walked by.  He would hump on my rear-end like a dog.  He was always doing that whether I was washing dishes or working in the garden, or bending over to pick up the diaper bag. 

 

He would put his hands on women he didn't know, or pin them against the wall while he smiled to talk  to them inches away from their face. He did this in front of me and our kids.

 

He was caught humping on a neighbor's woman's backside, he had sneaked up on her and went at it.  Her boyfriend saw it,  this is how I found out. 

 

He allowed his friend to put his hands on me.  The friend pulled my tucked-in shirt out of my shorts to put his hands on my bare waist and was sliding his hands downward.   I looked at hubby and he looked away.  I ran out of the room crying. 

 

Hubby asked for three-somes.  I told him to go to hell. 

 

 

My husband measured his weanie,  and bragged to me that according to Penthouse he is above average size because he measured in an extra 1/2 inch.   Yet he wasn't confident about his size,  cause he had to PROVE himself.   He tried to make up for his small size  by pounding on me like a maniac.  It was PAINFUL during my pregancys.  I told him to leave me alone, and he said "put out, or I'll go get it elsewhere".   This became his favorite line during our marriage. 

 

 

I noticed that the gay males sure seemed to like him even though he was hostile towards them. 

 

I don't understand why he was so hostile because what does it matter when all he was looking for was quick sex.  He wasn't loving in the sex,  just raw sex would do.  They are all grey in the dark when that is ALL your looking for.  Gay men are matched with his  male hormones and want AS much sex as he wants.  It's a perfect match. 

 

This guy has been my EX for 12 years but he still haunts me because of the abuse he caused and because he continues to work on our kids against me. He takes-over the holidays and I get the leftovers.   Our kids are now adults so I can't lean on the courts to stop him. 

 

He didn't love me.  He was in love with the power and control he had over me.  Just like Mr.  Psycho.  It was the only thing that made him feel alive,  the only thing that made him feel like a man. 

 

Maybe I should help him?  He constantly wants someone to satisfy his private area, maybe I can donate money to a gay organization in his name.  It's up to them to bring him "out of the closet"

 

He recently divorced his wife so I'm not sure if he will direct his anger at her or if it will come full force at me.    Maybe he needs the sexual gratication of the gay community to get him happy about life so he doesn't make life miserable for women.!!! 

I agree the man needs help but if she didn't have an affair, maybe he would have trusted her. I feel you let her off the hook. As a Christian, I could never understand how a married person could have an affair.  She needs to be responsible for her actions also.