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Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

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Created on : Friday, April 20, 2007, 02:40:41 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Jeffrey and Jennifer's shocking and complicated story continues. During their 11-year marriage, Jeffrey has become so obsessed with Jennifer, he watches her every move. He has installed a GPS system in her car, taps her phone conversations, takes inappropriate pictures of her and watches her while she sleeps. Dr. Phil probes deep into Jeffrey's mind to find out why he acts the way he does. Is there any boundary Jeffrey won't cross when it comes to controlling his wife? Then, how are Jennifer and Jeffrey's three children being affected by the madness in the house? Their eldest child has been an eyewitness to his father's schemes. And, while Dr. Phil speaks one on one with Jennifer, Jeffrey has a total meltdown backstage, becoming physically ill. When Dr. Phil confronts him about his anxieties and offers a solution, will Jeffrey choose to make a change? Don’t miss the second part of this dramatic and emotional story, and find out if this family is on the path to healing or headed to divorce court. Join the discussion.

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gildacecil

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April 28, 2007, 12:53 am PDT

Restored Faith

Dr Phil,

The segment of "Obsessive Love" drama was heart wrenching. My heart broke for both of them. While I agree that the husbands behavior is wrong I couldn't help but to feel sorry for him. I thought his intentions of saving his family were honorable, but, he went the wrong way about it. The way you handled the situation with compassion and concern, specially concern for the children have restore my faith in psycology. Bless you Dr. Phil for making a difference in peoples life including mine. I know what I want to do now. I want to study psycology to help people that need help. My 17 year old daughter also watches the show and has expressed an interest in being a psycologist. Keep up the good work.

Thank you,

Gilda

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gramatimes8

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Angry

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surprised

April 28, 2007, 12:53 am PDT

Brain Fart

Quote From: kidsgrandma

The husband has a real problem, but she is as bad. You're blaming and ridiculing him when she is as bad. She whines and cries and then still has plenty of time to go out with friends...even a male friend, sits on a computer with pictures and still calls people. If he was going to hurt, her it already would have happened. She enjoys playing the mind games and has injured him in the process. Nice that you send him away that she can party. When you have a person who cares that much, it also is a safe place, in case another relationship doesn't work out...she knows what she is doing. The man is fighting for his life here trying to keep family and home together and she just pretends not to know what is going on. Dr. Phil, she has you buffaloed...I didn't think it would happen.

I don't understand how you could get old enough to be a grandma and not see that this girls actions were nothing more than one failed escape plan after another! He caught her as a teenager (very easy to manipulate), and from his own words, used every trick he could think of to keep her trapped! It could not have just started in the last 8 months, because he made it clear that he had been using pregnancies to keep his relationship together from the beginning! I believe that this poor girl must feel like she is living in some kind of Twilight zone nightmare! Always wondering when he's going to do something that will put her on the news! I don't condone her affairs, but I most certainly do understand what the motive behind them was! I also don't think that you can pass judgment on any hostages devices for trying to escape! maybe you have been lucky enough to have never had to live under such repressive conditions (lucky you) but that is not marriage, what you described was a marriage where there was mutual love and respect! this girl had none of that, her life appears to be the equivalent of living with an obsessive stalker! Most people have those people jailed, they don't usually get talked into marriage! But then again I guess there are many cases where they do.Such is the shame. Don't blame the rabbit for trying to escape, even if you don't like there escape plan, YOUR NOT THE ONE TRAPPED! Thank you, Have a great day Gramatimes8

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androol

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Happy

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April 28, 2007, 12:54 am PDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Quote From: auntelee

This man has a very big problem. Whether he can be helped or not is up in the air, but she needs to get as far away from this nutcase as she can. I cannot believe that she allowed this to go on as long as she has. Locking her in the basement! What is wrong with her. Leave lady..............

this was a detail that didnt sit well with me. i was under the impression that he didnt lock her in there but just held the door closed while he told the kids to go upstairs then he let her out. but before that she kicked a hole in the door. now i dont think we got an exact number but when he said it was just to get the kids upstairs i dont remember her disputing that. if someone in my house is holding a door closed the appropriate reaction is NOT to kick a hole in the door. now if he had actually locked her down there and left then thats another story. but this isnt the impression i got at all. sorry i just felt like locking her in the basement was a gross misrepresentation of what actually happened.

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tjtanner

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April 28, 2007, 12:57 am PDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Quote From: lubsdacubs

Okay, #1 Did this woman's husband not find her in bed with another man and beat the crap out of him, only for the husband to get a bad rap as "violent"? Any man with honor and love for his wife would do the same thing. Second, why did she marry him. I see she has her own tanning bed. Maybe the money? I understand she's afraid to leave because he's loco and might do something even more extreme, but to wonder what she will do for money? Also, what the heck is she doing talking to a man on the phone she met at the bar and having a myspace page with naked fairies and no pictures of her husband ( oh yeah, a little caption that says she's married). Why was all this glossed over like it was okay? My husband would have made me choose to be a married woman or to go live my separate life of fun had I done all this to him. Yes, her husband needs mucho mucho help, but why is everyone painting this woman as an innocent angel? Plus he said "we" show her pictures to people we know. And she didn't deny it. So she's in on flaunting her sexuality/body. I just don't think this is one-sided. He's overboard but she's not trying to put out the fire by keeping a stinking myspace page. If that bugged my husband that much I would get rid of the page because I love my husband that much. It's called "priorities". And don't be asking for picture's of people's butts on the internet especially if you KNOW your husband would find out. Why would you do that anyway? That's disrespectful to your marriage and your family. Like Doc Phil says "those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing". My husband could track me all he wanted to and would never have a reason to be upset with me because I love and respect him so much I would never do anything to ever give him a reason to doubt me. This story is more two-sided than presented and the woman should think about earning back her husband's trust. Especially after being busted for having an affair.

She is probably hoping he sees it and realizes she despises him and leaves. Wake up

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redhotz

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angry

April 28, 2007, 1:04 am PDT

UGH! ICK!

Oh...Poor Jeff...First of all....in the back, while Dr. Phil is in the room with Jeff alone, what's up with woe is me Jeff not being able to keep his eyes open? grrrr...this man sickens me. Ok, I should probably wait, as many others have said, before I pass judgement. I too am one that supports family, marriage, keeping it together and working it out. IF and I do emphasize IF, Jeff gets help KUDOS to him. Let him move on, there is life out there. However, it is my hope that Jennifer moves on herself, that she will get therapy, take care of her children, and get the hell away from crazy, nutty, poor poor pitiful me. Why should she be right there by side through this when he has put her through such mentally, physically and emotional HELL? Let his family see him through it. Let his friends see him through it. I'm not saying take the kids away, get yourself help poor, sad, feeling sorry for myself Jeff. Then, with supervision, you can see your children. Was it just me, or did anyone else notice that not only could he not open his eyes, but he could not answer Dr. Phil with a simple yes or no? His answers were diverted to beating around the bush, doing what he does best....trying to bull*&*& his way and manipulate yet another person, conversation, etc.....So I say....Jennifer, it's time for YOU to take control, put YOU and YOUR CHILDREN FIRST........Get help, and get out! Let him take care of himself! As for her and her infidelities, who wouldn't turn to someone else for attention, confirmation, etc.....I don't condone extramarital affairs by any means, so I may have just made a very hypocritical statement, but I might have been forced to seek out love and a safety net elsewhere myself. That man needs more than help.

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gramatimes8

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ecstatic

April 28, 2007, 1:05 am PDT

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

Quote From: shrmn8r

And it isn't her fault!! Her action (I say reaction) is not at fault for his obsessive and psychotic behavior. It just isn't no matter how much you want to make it so.

If you know Dr. Phil as much as you think you do, you know he is all about owning what one does. This show was about Jeffrey's obsession, not her two affairs. I believe it was shown that her behavior came after his.

Just because you were strong enough to walk away and get a divorce does not mean that everybody is just like you. Some people are more easily manipulated. Some people really don't have anywhere to go. Some people will put up with more than anybody could ever stand in order to protect their children from the unknown. Yes, this is a sick relationship, but sometimes the known is easier to face than the unknown -- no money, no family close by, nobody who can help her get on her feet... There are a LOT of factors here that maybe she just doesn't have the support system that you did -- OR the backbone.

Again, this show was about a very sick man who has forced his illness on his wife. This wasn't a run-of-the-mill "my marriage is falling apart" show. She is in danger from this man, and the focus was on him and his psychotic tendencies. As I said earlier, to focus on ANYthing other than that would have given Jeffrey the justification he so desperately sought from Dr. Phil and this show. That would have been tantamount to an implosion of unimagniable consequences.

I just wanted to say thank you for stating this so eloquently and summing it up in such a tidy nutshell! I feel you have said just what I was thinking, thus saving me the trouble of having to say it myself! So let me just say "WHAT THEY SAID" and Thank you! Gramatimes8

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tjtanner

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Happy

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April 28, 2007, 1:07 am PDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Quote From: veronicaval

Whether she divorces him now or waits until her deeply disturbed husband gets "help", I think she should ultimately get out. The "ick" factor with this guy is sooooo nauseating, its unbelievable.

For those that blame her for his behavior (I think one poster even called her a 'hussy'), keep in mind that the old adage of creating your own destiny" or "self-fulfilling prophecy" never fit so perfectly than it does here. Talk about pushing someone away so hard that they would seek refuge with almost ANYONE other than him - my God, who could blame her?! If it were not for the kids, I would tell her to run for the hills, change her name and leave no forwarding address. She's young, attractive and a seemingly nice person. She could do INFINITELY better, and should.

I don't agree with Dr. Phil somewhat ambushing her by not telling her that he was going to put him in a facility (after he told her before the break that he would help her get a lawyer and funds to facilitate her getting out of the situation) and then later asking her in front of the husband to not file for divorce until he's been through the program. To me that was putting her on the spot, and I wouldn't be at all surprised to know that she agreed because she felt pressured to.

My last words to her would be, for God's sake - GET OUT.

I agree with you, at this point there is no such thing as forgivness.

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tjtanner

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Happy

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April 28, 2007, 1:13 am PDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Quote From: veronicaval

How do you know she cheated before he became obsessed?

Do you think someone this crazy, just started one day.. I'm sure he has always been this way and she feels soooooo trapped. Anybody saying otherwise has a good relationship and wouldn't have a clue.

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karengjo

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Good

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April 28, 2007, 1:14 am PDT

Disturbing on so many levels

This was such a disturbing story. Thank goodness Dr. Phil got involved - he may be able to save her and the children.

It occurred to me, as I was watching this episode, that if she killed her husband and I was sitting on her jury I would vote to acquit. I think this guy is a prime candidate for the "if I can't have you, no one will" mentality. I could absolutely see him killing her, the children and himself if she tries to leave him. I think he is THAT disturbed. I also think she is almost as mentally unhealthy as he is. He may not "batter" her in the traditional sense, but she seems to display many of the characteristics of a battered woman. I don't think she really understands the threat he represents.

I'm so glad Dr. Phil handled this in the manner he did. By giving him the assurance that he could, possibly save his marriage, the husband has an incentive to work on his significant mental health issues. Hopefully, this will give him the tools that will make him less of a threat to his family. If she's smart, though, she will take the time that he is in that facility to RUN to the courthouse and obtain a restraining order, custody of the children and permission to go into hiding until the mental health professionals (including Dr. Phil) decide that he no longer represents such a threat to them.

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angel920

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Good

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April 28, 2007, 1:18 am PDT

Control, Control, Control

Dr. Phil,

I feel this woman and her children need a SAFETY PLAN NOW. This man is clearly abusive towards his wife and children, and I am afraid of what he might be capable of doing. This guy locked his wife in the basement and then told her children she was going crazy and needed to be down there. He also told her family that she went crazy because she kicked the door and caused damage when she tried to get out. If she did have an affair at some point it still does not justify his behavior.

Often in domestic violence situations the abuser will escalate if they fear the partner is trying to leave the relationship. Dr. Phil why didn't you address the safety on the show???? This situation is way past an out of control marriage, and all the warning signs are there. I agree that it is wise to stabilize the husband's state of mind before any decisions are made about the relationship. I feel the wife needs to go to the domestic violence center where she lives and talk to other women. The husband did not express any genuine remorse for the anguish he has casued his wife, and explained his behavior was because of her - again nothing can justify what he has done.

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