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Topic : 04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

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Created on : Friday, April 20, 2007, 02:40:41 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

Jeffrey and Jennifer's shocking and complicated story continues. During their 11-year marriage, Jeffrey has become so obsessed with Jennifer, he watches her every move. He has installed a GPS system in her car, taps her phone conversations, takes inappropriate pictures of her and watches her while she sleeps. Dr. Phil probes deep into Jeffrey's mind to find out why he acts the way he does. Is there any boundary Jeffrey won't cross when it comes to controlling his wife? Then, how are Jennifer and Jeffrey's three children being affected by the madness in the house? Their eldest child has been an eyewitness to his father's schemes. And, while Dr. Phil speaks one on one with Jennifer, Jeffrey has a total meltdown backstage, becoming physically ill. When Dr. Phil confronts him about his anxieties and offers a solution, will Jeffrey choose to make a change? Don’t miss the second part of this dramatic and emotional story, and find out if this family is on the path to healing or headed to divorce court. Join the discussion.

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donkles

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May 5, 2007, 6:16 pm PDT

It's a two way street

I was puzzled by doctor Phil, blaming this guy for what he has done, he hasn't had the affairs the wife had, and some of her behavior is making him do this. If he could Trust his wife maybe this wouldn't be this bad. I agree he is alittle out there, but I feel she drives him to it.

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coventina29

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May 5, 2007, 7:16 pm PDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Quote From: momakababe

There's so much blaming the victim on these message boards that trying to educate the finger pointers & make them see they as dangerous as the abusers is saps the engergy. I didn't think there could be this much ignorance gathered in the same place at the same time.

I feel the exactly the same! Your'e doing a great job; you've got a lot of guts. Keep it up.

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suzangm

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May 5, 2007, 7:40 pm PDT

Wow

Though I have not seen the show where these two were on. I have read all the back tapings and information. The wife may have helped push this guy to the point he is... and he should have left her for her infidelities. The fact that he didn't, and has left his mind do the things he has done is clearly an indication that he has no boundary's. He is a dangerous man in my opinion. When he said death do us part I believe he meant it. She needs to go into hiding "with the children", and he needs to be evaluated.

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penny_lady

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May 5, 2007, 10:18 pm PDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Quote From: coventina29

Since he wanted to watch while he made her have sex with a friend of his, I doubt her fidelity is of paramount importance to him. A "little extreme"?

That is an excellent point.

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daylightkaty

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May 6, 2007, 5:40 am PDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Quote From: donkles

I was puzzled by doctor Phil, blaming this guy for what he has done, he hasn't had the affairs the wife had, and some of her behavior is making him do this. If he could Trust his wife maybe this wouldn't be this bad. I agree he is alittle out there, but I feel she drives him to it.

Dont you think that since he wanted to watch her have sex with his friend, that her infidelity is a moot point? what gives him the right to blame her for his insanity because she cheated, when he tries to set her up to have sex with his friend? This guy is dangerous and insane. Does this make sense to you?

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msjeanette

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May 6, 2007, 5:55 am PDT

GET OUT

Quote From: gandydancer

tloves, i tried to respond to you here but apparently the board wouldn't allow me to show you the links. do a search for the 'elliot in the morning' drive time show on google and you may learn more.

DR. Phil offered you help. God bless him,

GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!

I don't care what she did,,or didn't do------- Ther is NO NO NO reason for this,,,,!!

Change name--get protected---GET OUT--- he will kill you...I have no doubts... Think of your kids and GET OUT!!!!

He failed--I don't even need to watch the show----

Leave!!!

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katie__

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May 6, 2007, 11:44 am PDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Dr. Phil, Do you think you dropped the ball on this one? I think everyone's mouth fell open when you told the wife to stay with the obsessed husband. She was being abused! First rule for abused women is GET OUT! Anyone with any sense at all could tell that he was saying what you wanted to hear. Didn't you also hear him say he wished he hadn't come there? That meant he didn't really want help and that anything you did would NOT help him.

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azfanofphil

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May 6, 2007, 11:34 pm PDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Quote From: suzangm

Though I have not seen the show where these two were on. I have read all the back tapings and information. The wife may have helped push this guy to the point he is... and he should have left her for her infidelities. The fact that he didn't, and has left his mind do the things he has done is clearly an indication that he has no boundary's. He is a dangerous man in my opinion. When he said death do us part I believe he meant it. She needs to go into hiding "with the children", and he needs to be evaluated.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt since you haven't watched this episode but you made my skin crawl with your statement that it was HER fault his psychotic mind is all twisted. Poor excuse to blame the wife for his insecurities and boorish behavior.

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anon_slc

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May 7, 2007, 9:34 am PDT

RECOGNIZING THE REMORSELESS - WITHOUT CONSCIENCE

If you are with in a relationship with someone, you expect the relationship to grow and deepen over time; you expect a heart connection to be made and maintained. You operate your life based on this expectation. When your partner in the relationship does not or cannot make an emotional connection, the relationship becomes very painful. Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

Aggression in Personality Disorders and Perversions by Otto Kernberg OR Treating Personality Disorders in Children and Adolescents: A Relational Approach by Efrain Bleiberg OR Without Conscience: The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us by Robert Hare

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

Healthy Boundaries Workbook: Using Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills to Set and Maintain Better Boundaries by Deborah Deiboldt Legge AND Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh

Getting Help: The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm

There are relationships, marriages, and relationships that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out. Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining. As painful as it make by, make a promise to yourself to leave. Leave so you can begin a life of healing and recovery. Leave so you can learn to live a joyful, peaceful and fulfilling life.

Hope it helps!

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mrpeachycat

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May 7, 2007, 4:57 pm PDT

I have to agree

Quote From: daylightkaty

Dont you think that since he wanted to watch her have sex with his friend, that her infidelity is a moot point? what gives him the right to blame her for his insanity because she cheated, when he tries to set her up to have sex with his friend? This guy is dangerous and insane. Does this make sense to you?

He DID want her to have sex with his friend..so that right there was enough to wipe the slate clean. Nothing she did could justify his dangerous behavior. As far as I can see it, he is isolating her so that his next step is physical abuse. Getting as far away from this man ---wish they had a wifeness relocation program for abused spouses---is the most important thing.
Dr. Phil was wrong to encourage her to stay with him a while.

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