Topic : 07/06 “Call it Off!”

I divorced my ex-husband because of his affair with someone 24 years younger than him.  I was willing to do whatever it took to make it work, but he clearly had his mind made up to remain with this girl (after 3 kids and 11 years of marriage).  I have no regrets because I gave it my all and I think that is why I am not bitter about anything.  I feel bad for this girl because she does not realize that she has thrown her life away.  She probably won't realize it for many more years to come though.  What will she end up with?  No college education because she moved out of her house, someone who doesn't value marriage or the hard work that is needed to make one work and someone without a lot of integrity always looking for the easy way out or the short cut.  What happens when his looks start to fade?  What happens when someone younger or more attractive catches her eye?  What happens when she becomes resentful for skipping college for him? 

As for the 30 year old and 19 year old wanting to get married...what's the hurry?!  This woman has more to think about here.  She has kids involved.  What kind of pain have they already been through from her last relationship?  Divorce is not easy on adults but for goodness sake, have mercy on the kids!  These two are both young enough to wait a little while, to get some pre-marital counseling and get a plan in place.  If they can work this out in the next year or two and still want to move forward, I say good luck and go for it.  Would you take a trip to a foreign country without planning out your itinerary first?  I don't think these two have though much beyond the wedding day!

This show made me pretty uncomfortable on several counts.  First, 11 years is not that big of an age difference.  Is our gender bias so strong that it's OK for a guy, Not OK for a gal to marry younger?

Second, I felt sorry for the young man being made fun of on the show.  He seemed sincere.

In response to your idea that I am someone "who truly has never dealt with addiction first hand," I have been clean and sober since 1986, and one of my children died as a direct result of addiction.  More than likely, it would be better if I didn't respond at all, but I can't just sit back and let you think you know all there is to know - and believe that you can never learn something new - about addiction.

I agree with dr. phil that the first couple need no contact for 90 days.. ( like in house rehab).  I also feel that this girl is going against her parents to spite them.  I think this happends to a lot of people.  they do drugs together .. and its like their way of connecting. Which I think dr. phil saw.

The girl has issueswith her parents.  I didn't like the laughing and not taking 60 days sober as a good thing. Sober is hard and  maybe its 60 days but, its better thans nothing.

The second couple.  the family might not Agree with this wedding. But, let him seen how it is and from there ... let him fall in learn.  best thing. 

I didn't like this woman.. I have a feeling she will be on maury.. and the show called "I slept with 4 of your brothers and you might not be the father"

her flirting with brothers in the family.. creep-e.

.....I don't think that age was the only reason Dr Phil said to chill out. Being that the young man is so young and lacks life's experience, and the 30 year old has been through two births and a relationship, may be the reason. After two months and then deciding to get married? He does not have a job, they live with parents, don't ya think maybe they better get a foundation set before they get hitched? I agree, wait and then maybe get married. Counseling would help. My second husband was much older. I was 43 and he was 56.  It worked because of our life experiences. We had time to live and learn. He passed away one year and one month after we married. I have since married a younger man, 6 years. I did not know his age until much later. LOL.....but it is working........God gave me a second chance.

   If the two people love each other, what's the problem. If it doesn't work out between them, OH WELL!!!!!!. Isn't it OK to learn from experience. Is it wrong to want to help a couple from making a mistake? Is that not why they were on the show?? If Dr Phil would have been around when I met my first husband, I would not have married. He was 23, I was 18. I may have been an adult, but I knew nothing about life!............we learn from our experiences, but we should be open minded enough so that we don't make stupid mistakes........and this couple is not being very wise. Especially the 30 year old. She should know better. I actually felt bad for the young man. The way he sat and took it from his family, he appeared withdrawn. Getting married is not the way out, there are better ways of freeing one self from ones troubles. Just my two cents.....