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Topic : 07/06 “Call it Off!”

Number of Replies: 397
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Created on : Friday, April 27, 2007, 01:58:22 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 5/1/07) Have you ever wanted to shout out at a wedding when you heard, “Speak now or forever hold your peace”? Dr. Phil’s guests are at war and want their loved ones to think twice before walking down the aisle. Jessica says her parents, Ellen and Bruce, refuse to accept her boyfriend, Matt. The couple says Matt is a manipulative drug addict with a criminal past who has physically abused their daughter. Matt vows that he’s reformed and wants to make a fresh start. Should Jessica end her relationship, or should her parents butt out? Then, Jerry is 19 and about to say “I do” to his 30-year-old fiancée, Jessica. His siblings say Jessica is an opportunist looking for a father for her two small children. Jerry’s older brother, Jason, says Jerry is just confused, and he thinks Jessica seduced him. Jerry’s siblings also question Jessica’s fidelity, because they say she once flirted with Jerry’s older brothers. If Jerry is about to make the biggest mistake of his life, will he get a wake-up call before the wedding? Talk about the show here.

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April 30, 2007, 8:26 am CDT

05/01 “Call it Off!”

   I WOULD THINK AT AGE 19 A YOUNG WOMAN WOULD BE THINKING MORE ABOUT HAVING FUN WITH HER FRIENDS, NOT GETTING MARRIED TO A GUY SHE ONLY KNEW AND DATED FOR 2 WEEKS, I WONDER IF SHE REALLY KNOWS WHAT SHE COULD BE IN STORE FOR.

 
April 30, 2007, 8:31 am CDT

05/01 “Call it Off!”

OPPS A 19 YR OLD BOY MARRYING A 30 YEAR OLD WOMAN WITH 2 KIDS, WOW
 
April 30, 2007, 8:41 am CDT

My job is to protect

I have two daughters and it is my JOB to protect them from harm, like an abusive drug addict.  If you've never had someone in your life that is addicted to drugs and or alcohol you can't possibly grasp how text book perfect this girl sounds.  Her parents that love her and want to shelter are the enemy and the man that will destroy her is the good guy. I would have to take physical steps to keep him from my daughter, I might end up in jail but I would get my point across, one way or another. 

Now on to the 30 year old woman, If she were a man sniffing around my 19 year old daughter I would ask her what the hell is her problem.  Shame on her for knowingly robbing this child of his youth and freedom.  My take on her is that she is a lazy slob that moves from man to man wanting someone to take care of her.  Otherwise she would have a J-O-B and her own home to live in with her children.

 
April 30, 2007, 3:16 pm CDT

Call it Off

Quote From: kar_lotta

 My youngest son married a girl 10 years older than he at 19.  It was one of the worst mistakes he made and I wish I'd made more objection.  She was divorced with three kids.  She cheated on him constantly, screamed constantly and unfaithful always.  Her own sisters and ex-husband warned him, but he wouldn't listen to anyone.  She finally bankrupted him and thankfully, he got a divorce.  I don't advocate divorce, but there are times it's necessary.  Even after they separated, she was running up bills and having them sent to my son.  He had to get his lawyer to get that stopped.  He was in the Army and when he was in the field, she "entertained" the troops.  Never paid any bills, no idea what she did with the pay checks.  All I can say, is, PLEASE, STOP AND THINK THIS THROUGH.  I agree with your family, she's wanting a meal ticket and she'll continue with her wild ways.  I hope you do a lot of praying before doing anything.  Good luck, if you go through with this sham of a marriage, you'll need more than luck.
 It wasn't the 10 years older that caused her to be a bad person. I bet she wasn't the kind of girl he should have chosen if she was 19. I fell in love with my husband and he with me when he was in his early twenties and I in my late thirties. Our inner ages were the same. he was mature for his age and I looked and felt much younger. My friends and family welcomed him and we never had anyone give us any negativity. We still love each other very much and have just celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. 30 wonderful, happy years. Almost all the "same age" marriages of people that we knew back then have been divorced so how can anyone judge another persons love?
 
April 30, 2007, 3:30 pm CDT

05/01 “Call it Off!”

Quote From: housewife52

I think sometimes the age-differences don't work out for the same reasons same-age marriages don't work out. It sounds like you and your husband have the same goals and work together on things.
Hi, You're not the only one. I'm 19 years older than my husband and we've been together for 30 wonderful years. We lived together for almost 6 years to make sure and we've been legally married for 25 more. We do everything together and also have watched almost all of the "same age" couples get divorced. I'm sure there are a lot of other couples like us. I believe it's the strongest loves that will face adversity for their love. We were fortunate because our families and friends were accepting and loved and accepted us both. I don't think anyone can judge another persons love.
 
April 30, 2007, 3:30 pm CDT

sigh

IM married to someone 20 years younger then me and we have been happy for 12 years..we are still so in love with each other no issues no worries a good hard working loving man..he was 19 when we married...I dont think its an age issue ITS A MATURITY issue...just because your 30, 40, 50 does not mean your mature. I have seen older people who act as if their 3! I think it also includes what you have endured in your life...some grow up fast some dont..plan and simple..not all younger people are immature idiots
 
April 30, 2007, 11:36 pm CDT

Quit blaming Jennifer for JEFFREY'S OWN actions.

Quote From: twinsma546

She was 19 and he was 30 when they married. She became adulterous and he became obsessively controlling. Any coincidence that this couple is on this week? I hope Dr. Phil plays them some tapes from that show. They seriously need to consider the age difference and the possible impacts it may have.
This is the wrong place to talk about it, but if you will read the transcript, he admitted that he started this the minute they gotten married! She was a newlywed, she was PREGNANT,  & he has no trust for her? He was recording her phone calls RIGHT AFTER they got married! HIS CRAZY BEHAVIOR STARTED FROM THE BEGINNING! NOT AFTER SHE HAD AN AFFAIR! She had been living with his abuse for 2 years before she had an affair. Another BIG RED FLAG... she had NO ONE at the wedding! What 19 year old girl doesn't want her family & her friends at her wedding? He engineered it so that she had NO family or friends at her wedding! SHE DID NOT TRIGGER HIS OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR!

Simply put, Jeffrey knew from the beginning that no woman around his age would put up with his crap (back at 30), otherwise, he wouldn't be going after a nice, naive, young woman at 19. I have seen men like him. They control, manipulate, & dominate young women like her. A REAL man NEVER abuses a woman, whatever it's emotionally, or physically, & unfortunately, that's what's driven her to find another man to rescue her. All of the Jeffrey defenders need to wake up. You're basically defending a man for his actions. That is NO excuse for him to act like that. NONE. You either work out on the marriage, or get a divorce & move on, not become a controlling, dominating pig.


 
May 1, 2007, 5:27 am CDT

Some people are too immature to know what LOVE is

Quote From: myownself2

Hi, You're not the only one. I'm 19 years older than my husband and we've been together for 30 wonderful years. We lived together for almost 6 years to make sure and we've been legally married for 25 more. We do everything together and also have watched almost all of the "same age" couples get divorced. I'm sure there are a lot of other couples like us. I believe it's the strongest loves that will face adversity for their love. We were fortunate because our families and friends were accepting and loved and accepted us both. I don't think anyone can judge another persons love.

Perhaps YOUR families are friends were "accepting" because age was the ONLY big factor between you. The guests appear to have many  more factors OTHER THAN AGE. Nineteen is still the age of a CHILD. And if the parents are decent and caring, they have a DUTY to offer their opinion. Hopefully, a nineteen year old will listen, but most "kids" think they know everything (it's human nature).

 

And nobody has to "live together" to "make sure" a marriage will work. That makes no sense. Marriages work because people are mature and committed and responsible and honor their vows. Trying out  a person before you marry him/her makes no sense...you can do that as you date. ALL STATS SHOW that living together before marriage IN FACT is an indicator that a marriage will end in divorce. You and your husband are the EXCEPTION, not the rule.

 

I am very happy for you, but don't think that your case is an example of what NORMALLY happens. Sadly, that is not the case.

 
May 1, 2007, 5:33 am CDT

19: kid. 30: immature adult

If parents are responsible, loving, good and bright, they have a DUTY to let their loved one (especially a child of 19) know what they think. That "child" will do as s/he pleases, but at least the parents have tried their best to enlighten him/her.

 

Age IS a factor when one person is supposedly old and mature and the other is still a teenager (19). Most of us were still speeding, blasting music, thinking about who to date on the weekends, spending too much time on our hair and wardrobes (etc) when we were 19. The ONLY reason a 30-yr-old would want a child is because s/he has NOT grown up himself yet. At age 24, I was teaching high school kids. They were KIDS....I never saw them as adults. They were immature, impulsive and still had much growing up to do. I did as well!

 

Hopefully, kids at the age of 19 will give some weight to what their parents think, providing the parents DO know best. However, as humans we ALL think we know everything and we often rebel against authority (ex. our parents). The more our parents dislike someone, the more we like them.

 

The reality is that these types of marriages normally end in divorce. There a few exceptions, but VERY few. Let's hope the parents will be there to help their children pick up the pieces after they've made a costly mistake in their young lives. God bless them all!

 
May 1, 2007, 5:45 am CDT

Age can matter.....

Quote From: twinsma546

She was 19 and he was 30 when they married. She became adulterous and he became obsessively controlling. Any coincidence that this couple is on this week? I hope Dr. Phil plays them some tapes from that show. They seriously need to consider the age difference and the possible impacts it may have.

At 30, some people have 15 year old children! There is something SERIOUSLY wrong with a supposedly mature, responsible ADULT even wanting a 19 year old child.

 

This woman is a predator...maybe not a sexual predator, but a predator. She WANTS this child for something more than love. He must fill some need of her's, but that's not HIS job to do.

 

I have friends who are 2 degades or more apart in years. However, the difference is that they were much older when they first met and they were both mature ADULTS at that time. They were  no longer children (yes, 19 year olds are still children). Age CAN matter...it depends upon the circumstances. The circumstances today are not good ones!

 
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