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Topic : 07/06 “Call it Off!”

Number of Replies: 397
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Created on : Friday, April 27, 2007, 01:58:22 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 5/1/07) Have you ever wanted to shout out at a wedding when you heard, “Speak now or forever hold your peace”? Dr. Phil’s guests are at war and want their loved ones to think twice before walking down the aisle. Jessica says her parents, Ellen and Bruce, refuse to accept her boyfriend, Matt. The couple says Matt is a manipulative drug addict with a criminal past who has physically abused their daughter. Matt vows that he’s reformed and wants to make a fresh start. Should Jessica end her relationship, or should her parents butt out? Then, Jerry is 19 and about to say “I do” to his 30-year-old fiancée, Jessica. His siblings say Jessica is an opportunist looking for a father for her two small children. Jerry’s older brother, Jason, says Jerry is just confused, and he thinks Jessica seduced him. Jerry’s siblings also question Jessica’s fidelity, because they say she once flirted with Jerry’s older brothers. If Jerry is about to make the biggest mistake of his life, will he get a wake-up call before the wedding? Talk about the show here.

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April 28, 2007, 10:44 am CDT

Think twice before walking the aisle

 My youngest son married a girl 10 years older than he at 19.  It was one of the worst mistakes he made and I wish I'd made more objection.  She was divorced with three kids.  She cheated on him constantly, screamed constantly and unfaithful always.  Her own sisters and ex-husband warned him, but he wouldn't listen to anyone.  She finally bankrupted him and thankfully, he got a divorce.  I don't advocate divorce, but there are times it's necessary.  Even after they separated, she was running up bills and having them sent to my son.  He had to get his lawyer to get that stopped.  He was in the Army and when he was in the field, she "entertained" the troops.  Never paid any bills, no idea what she did with the pay checks.  All I can say, is, PLEASE, STOP AND THINK THIS THROUGH.  I agree with your family, she's wanting a meal ticket and she'll continue with her wild ways.  I hope you do a lot of praying before doing anything.  Good luck, if you go through with this sham of a marriage, you'll need more than luck.
 
April 28, 2007, 11:34 am CDT

Jessica & Matt

We have a young friend who married  a guy and the whole situation sounds identical . She was a quiet girl and had never dated before meeting him.   He was in jail on drug charges before they got married.  His mother and father keep bailing him out of his messes with drug dealers and buying him toys like lawn mowers, tractors, trucks, etc. to help him fulfill his many grandiose plans.    He's a very "charming" guy when he wants to be, but is totally self-absorbed.  In nine years he's had about 30 different jobs for a few weeks at a time.  Wanted her to work two jobs to pay the bills, and also support his drug habit.  Many times, he's told her to bring their child with her in the middle of the night, to come pick him up in a nearby city, because he's had to leave his truck as collateral for the drugs he bought.  He left about a year ago to move in with a girlfriend and took all the bedroom furniture, leaving our niece and their 2 year old son having to sleep on the davenport., and also leaving her with the bills.    Her mother is in poor health, but is working 50 hours a week to help her daughter.  She  is now paying off the mortgage on the house, as he had it put in her name.  She's also paying for child care for the little boy.  Our young friend is a fool for staying with him, and now that the girlfriend has moved out, they're getting back together.  "I can't help it, I love the guy"  is her response.  This guy is a sociopath and our niece is a fool. 

  Don't know how anyone could wake up Jessica before this wedding happens, but hope they can.  There are nice guys out there who are looking for nice girls.   Tell her to ditch this jerk and try again.

 

 
April 28, 2007, 3:22 pm CDT

This family is a saint to what i'm dealing with

Well, let me say that my son has already made his mistake and EVERYONE in our family is paying the price. It's gone on now for almost a year, and i'm fixing to put an end to it, This girl that my son is with has torn our family apart, starting with my two sons. I loved her at one time, but now I have so much hate in me for her that if it wasn't for the prison doors, well...... but I know the consequences of those actions, but it got so bad that I called everyone of my family members and told them bye because I was to the point of killing my self. But it's not just me, it's my parents, my brothers, nieces, nephews, aunts, and all of my friends. No one wants any thing to do with her because she is dangerous for anyone to be around, She will stop at nothing to get what she wants, and i mean nothing, she even accused a military man of sexual harrassment just to get out the national guard because my son told her that he would not move off with her, then she accused my oldest son of sleeping with her, which may i add that he never liked her from day one. and that's what tore my sons apart. Then she, after being jealous enough to tell my son that he couldn't be around his own stp-sister, after she went through our sons, then she started on our daughters, then she tried to become in between me and one of my best friends, that didn't work, but it all died down a bit, then when our daughter was visiting, she went messaged our daughters mom through my space, to start from that end, this bitch just will not stop. I went and got a peacebond on her, but she has some of her friends message me and just any thing to get to me, that's what she'll do, She even blocked all of my son's family phone numbers to where none of us could call. There's just too much that she has done that it would take me till next week to tell ya!

It has gotten so bad that i called the DA again, and was told that if she didn't do anything to me straight out that i could do nothing. But i posted on my space that all their games were over, they could push me up against a wall, push me more and put my imprint in it, but i'll be damned if they use my family to pust me through it. Some how some way i'm putting a stop to it. I told my son that someone's gonna get hurt or she's gonna keep on till she cause's a killing, and won't that be great. I'm not saying that i havent' said anything, because i have, but it was only after she has done something to me, She even made that comments to me, first, she didn't do her dirty work in front of my son when she had called me at 12:38am bitching and gripping about our daughter, saying she wasn't gonna leave my son alone with any girl to f... him, and i ask to speak with him, but he was gone, and she said she knew how to kill me without even touching me, through stress because of my illness. I swear to God it's one of the biggest messes that i've ever seen one little 19 year old girl could cause, none of the men in our family will be around her because they are afraid of being accused of doing something to her. So this issue really needs to be dealt with before someone gets hurt or killed, I'm at my wits end. I have plenty of ppl that can tell you even more, SOMEBODY HELP ME QUICK!!!!!!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO, BECAUSE IF THE DA DON'T DO SOMETHING WITH HER, SOMEONE ELSE IS GONNA HAVE TO.

 
April 28, 2007, 3:30 pm CDT

THINK ABOUT IT

I am ten years older than my husband, in my forties. There are times that I wished I'd married someone closer to my age. Can't really get him to understand what responsibilities a family man has, like coming home before midnight, not making so many plans that, in my opinion, are an extension of his single life, etc. Think twice before you say "I do." Marriage is tough work, and you need to have more things in common than not. Opposites may attract, but they may not be a match. At nineteen, no one in the US should marry....tooo much living to do before you settle down
 
April 28, 2007, 4:58 pm CDT

I see trouble ahead

Quote From: kar_lotta

 My youngest son married a girl 10 years older than he at 19.  It was one of the worst mistakes he made and I wish I'd made more objection.  She was divorced with three kids.  She cheated on him constantly, screamed constantly and unfaithful always.  Her own sisters and ex-husband warned him, but he wouldn't listen to anyone.  She finally bankrupted him and thankfully, he got a divorce.  I don't advocate divorce, but there are times it's necessary.  Even after they separated, she was running up bills and having them sent to my son.  He had to get his lawyer to get that stopped.  He was in the Army and when he was in the field, she "entertained" the troops.  Never paid any bills, no idea what she did with the pay checks.  All I can say, is, PLEASE, STOP AND THINK THIS THROUGH.  I agree with your family, she's wanting a meal ticket and she'll continue with her wild ways.  I hope you do a lot of praying before doing anything.  Good luck, if you go through with this sham of a marriage, you'll need more than luck.
 I don't believe this can work out. His Record looks bad and they are both asking for trouble if they Walk down the Aisle.He is still a Kid and to have a ready made Family won't work.
 
April 28, 2007, 5:21 pm CDT

Call It off!!!!!!!!

Ellen, Bruce and their daughter ought to be more open minded to the situation and to each other. Maybe the daughters fiance' has changed from being the "supposed" drug addict/ manipulative person he claims he once was. Allow him a second change to prove he has changed.

 

As for Jessica age 30 with children and Jerry age 19. Jessica your a you are a no good cradle robber your old enough to know better. Pull your head out of you know where and wipe the you know what out of your eyes and not only wake up but grow up.

 

Jane

 
April 28, 2007, 5:27 pm CDT

05/01 “Call it Off!”

When I was a teenager I dated a guy that was sorta like this guy. He did drugs and smoked.  Luckly my family and friends got me to see the bad side of him.

 
April 28, 2007, 5:57 pm CDT

life is about living

I married a much older man and although my family were not happy about it, i have no regrets. i think all people fall in love for different reasons, if it is really love you will fight for what you want. if it is not love and the arguements from the people who love you make sense perhaps a delay should be made. but if it feels right why not just jump right in. sure sometimes it is the wrong decision but life is about the lessons that we learn, the mistakes that we make and how we deal with our own screw ups.

i love my husband, he is sure enough about himself to let me be myself, i still have my identity, we do a lot of things together and we have seperate interests, i love him but i dont own him, we are two halves of one, but we are still people. some times when your young you meet some one you fall in love and you lose yourself, you become one without thought or opinion of your own, true love means you are still you but with a loving support network behind you, you can like different things, have different friends but still be completely in love at the same time.

 
April 28, 2007, 11:28 pm CDT

I was at a wedding

...where I think every guest on the bride's side wanted to do that.

 

As we get Dr. Phil's program with a delay of several months, I'll just have to "watch" it here and follow the boards.

 
April 29, 2007, 7:07 am CDT

There's a reason for "speak now or forever hold your peace."

There are just some weddings that should never take place. In my experience, usually when 2 people decide to get married,no one can talk them out of it.Years ago,at 20 my brother married a 16 year old who was already pregnant with another man's baby.He could not be talked out of it. It didn't last. Marriage takes a lot of work anyway, and to start out with problems already in place just makes it harder to deal with.
 
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