Topic : 08/27 Bully Dads

Once again, you are wrong, I was an Army wife for 14 years, and I loved military life. I believe whole heartedly in the power of the U.S. military. I was all for going into Iraq in 1989 when hussein gassed his own people, instead, we went into Panama because Noriega cut the government out of their crooked deal. Dont tell me about the military, I had 2 children alone, because my husband had to go protect the Korean DMZ. I lost sleep after President Raygun killed Qhadafi's little boy and military intelligence woke me up in the middle of the night because they needed my husband to dispatch vehicles, because they had intelligence we were going to be bombed.

My children were army brats. The military isn't bad, the way our government uses the army to get other countries to do what they want, is. The way the government strips our young people of their power, is. They force them into situations where they have no control because " they arent knowledgeable enough to make decisions for themselves" they dont get to vote, but  when they commit a crime, they charge them like adults. It is a load of crap, and these people are all reacting to the same helplessness that I am talking about, If you can't see that, I feel sorry for those around you, because your not very empathetic

I am a step-mother and I completely understand Kevin the bully dad. The show just aired in Australia and I immediately empathised with Kevin and was annoyed with Dr Phil.

What Dr Phil and most others don't seem to get is that being a step parent is very different from being a parent to your own children. Dr Phil has never been a step parent and obviously doesn't understand what it is like to go into step-parenthood with an open and positive heart only to be a destroyed mess a few years down the track.

This issue needs to be taken more seriously because children can be the best manipulators in the world and condemning the step-parent without truly understanding the circumstances is ridiculous.

KEVIN, I SAY TO YOU:

The mistake you made is believing the rubbish about treating your step-kids the same way that you treat your own. The fact is, you should never discipline your step children. Yes, you can lay down some house rules but it must be their mother who discliplines them.

I understood everything you said on Dr Phil and the fact is that trying to be a real parent to these children will send you crazy. My 22 year old step son has only just admitted to his father that he did everything in his power to split us up the whole time he lived with us.

This sort of pressure cannot be understood by non step-parents and yes, it can result in you acting like a child because you are so tired and desperate.

All prospective step parents need support and knowledge that doesn't come from just raising your own kids.

Dr Phil - You are perpetuating the myth that parents and step-parents are one and the same. That is total rubblish!! You spent the show browbeating a man who was already browbeaten by his wife and step-children and HIMSELF. Don't allow other would be step-parents to blindly take on someone else's children thinking "love is all you need". IT IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT AND NEEDS TO BE ADDRESSED SERIOUSLY AND WITH PRACTICAL ADVICE.

I'm watching this right now?!

You should have left the first time he called you a name, threatened you, or threatened your children.  You first priority is to your kids.

I adore my spouse but if they ever hit my child I would pack my stuff and take my kids and live in a motel.  Parents have to be warriors for their kids, no romantic relationship can come before the parent/child bond. 

I am glad you are out of the relationship you were in but it should not have taken 2 years.  Would you have waited 2 years to rescue your child if they were drowning? 

I watched this show again on the W channel in Australia.  I can't believe that the Mom in this situation allowed this guy to throw a full on fit in a room with 2 kids and 2 toddlers in the room.  Twice this man almost knocked one of the babies to the floor and didn't even notice, not to mention what he did to the older girl and boy.  Why the Mom didn't call the police and move the whole family into a shelter, right then, is beyond me. 

I know the American foster care system is not perfect but anything has got to be better than what these kids are living now.  If these adults want to go ahead and indulge their rage, then let them, but let's get the kids out of there.