Message Boards

Topic : 05/03 Lay Down the Law

Number of Replies: 467
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 27, 2007, 02:01:34 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Investigations, accusations, allegations -- Dr. Phil's guests are ex in-laws who are practically putting each other on trial. Cindy and Randy say their ex daughter-in-law, Michele, is an unfit mother, and their 8-year-old granddaughter is living in danger. Michele says Cindy and Randy make up sick accusations. Who's really telling the truth? Renowned attorney Lauren Lake weighs in on how the courts will judge their situation. When the bickering becomes heated between the couple and Michele, find out who storms offstage. Will Dr. Phil be able to settle this battle once and for all, and will Randy and Cindy be able to finally see their granddaughter? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

More May 2007 Show Boards

As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

May 1, 2007, 9:17 am CDT

05/03 Lay Down the Law

Quote From: twinsma546

I bet that the inlaws are the problem here. I haven't seen the show, but it is my experience that when the grandparents are slamming the mother it is usually more about their need for control than it is their love for their grandaughter. If they relly loved the grandaughter they would be helping the mother who is the most important person in the childs life. The mother has probably set some boundaries that they do not like so their response is to go for the jugular. If I am wrong about this show, I will eat my words.

 

How right you are!  I am a woman who is divorced from a man because of the manipulative, controlling and undeniably criminal threats against me by my in-laws, to gain complete control over my life and the life of my child.  I was to step completely out of the picture as the mother of my child, with my mother-in-law taking full charge.

  

My first clue was them adding an extention on their home complete with nursery, playroom and a bedroom for my husband. Bizarre? Not even close!

 

After the baby was born, she refused to visit becasue she wanted to see the baby without me being around. The baby was days old and I was nursing. This is when the major campaign began.  I was told I "shouldn't be surprised when I was pulled over by the police and they found drugs in my car. I'd be locked up and then mother-in-law would have the baby" I reported this threat to the police to have it on file.  Then I was told " not to be shocked when I came home from work and the baby was gone. They have enough money to see to it that I would never be able to find or see my child again." This family was clearly displaying severe anti-social personality disorders. I was on the recieving end of their ambient abuse.  However, to the outside, they appeared to be the "loving, doting" grandparents that were being denied the joy of seeing their grandchild.

 

After these threats, I certainly, saw to it that my child was not around them without my supervision.  Since that wasn't good enough from them, I stopped them from seeing the child. That's when they decided to incite the "Grandparents Rights thing".

 

You might ask, where was my husband during all this? He was too busy playing with and accepting the gifts he was being given my them including, a new sports car, clothing that would knock your eyes out, trips to exotic destinations, top of the line media toys and on and on.

Just before my husband was served with divorce papers, Mother-in-law died.  As it turned out, she was messing around with a younger man who died of aids a few years before. Hmmm....

 

During the divorce process, my ex never spent time with his child ( I clocked his longest "visitation" at 17 minutes) and hasn't had any contact with her to this day. ( His choice)  She is now 22, graduated college, is going on with her Masters degree, is happy, accomplished and extremely well-centered.

 

Certainly, my child was denied a relationship with her grandparents.  But, the real tragedy is that her grandparents and her father were so disfunctional any chance of a relationship would have been extremely damaging.

 

If I had to do it over again, I would change nothing except the choice I made for a husband.

 

 

 
May 1, 2007, 9:44 am CDT

05/03 Lay Down the Law

when we spend more time worried about what others are saying we need,  we can louse sight of whats really safe for our kids and whats not,its important to know actions speak much louder than words!!!.
 
May 1, 2007, 10:36 am CDT

05/03 Lay Down the Law

Dr Phil what one person sees as a danger others may not see, i really don't think any mother will put their children in danger on purpose, we all try to do what we think will be safe for our children,what some see as safe we may not!!!
 
May 1, 2007, 11:34 am CDT

05/03 Lay Down the Law

Dr Phil i cant wait to see this show, but the grand parents shouldnt call the mother unfit, only the child suffers when they do,
 
May 1, 2007, 2:05 pm CDT

OMG!!!!!

Quote From: lidancer1

How right you are!  I am a woman who is divorced from a man because of the manipulative, controlling and undeniably criminal threats against me by my in-laws, to gain complete control over my life and the life of my child.  I was to step completely out of the picture as the mother of my child, with my mother-in-law taking full charge.

  

My first clue was them adding an extention on their home complete with nursery, playroom and a bedroom for my husband. Bizarre? Not even close!

 

After the baby was born, she refused to visit becasue she wanted to see the baby without me being around. The baby was days old and I was nursing. This is when the major campaign began.  I was told I "shouldn't be surprised when I was pulled over by the police and they found drugs in my car. I'd be locked up and then mother-in-law would have the baby" I reported this threat to the police to have it on file.  Then I was told " not to be shocked when I came home from work and the baby was gone. They have enough money to see to it that I would never be able to find or see my child again." This family was clearly displaying severe anti-social personality disorders. I was on the recieving end of their ambient abuse.  However, to the outside, they appeared to be the "loving, doting" grandparents that were being denied the joy of seeing their grandchild.

 

After these threats, I certainly, saw to it that my child was not around them without my supervision.  Since that wasn't good enough from them, I stopped them from seeing the child. That's when they decided to incite the "Grandparents Rights thing".

 

You might ask, where was my husband during all this? He was too busy playing with and accepting the gifts he was being given my them including, a new sports car, clothing that would knock your eyes out, trips to exotic destinations, top of the line media toys and on and on.

Just before my husband was served with divorce papers, Mother-in-law died.  As it turned out, she was messing around with a younger man who died of aids a few years before. Hmmm....

 

During the divorce process, my ex never spent time with his child ( I clocked his longest "visitation" at 17 minutes) and hasn't had any contact with her to this day. ( His choice)  She is now 22, graduated college, is going on with her Masters degree, is happy, accomplished and extremely well-centered.

 

Certainly, my child was denied a relationship with her grandparents.  But, the real tragedy is that her grandparents and her father were so disfunctional any chance of a relationship would have been extremely damaging.

 

If I had to do it over again, I would change nothing except the choice I made for a husband.

 

 

How terrified of these people you must have been. I am so happy you got out of this situation and away from these sick twisted people. Were they at all able to succeed in getting rights to see your child? In my state, the grandparents have no rights. They can petition the court all they want, but ultimately if the parents say no then it is no.

 

In my situation, the IL's haven't gone to those extremes but I would not be surprised if they made threats. Fortunately, my husband supports this (them not seeing our kids) even though it has been extremely painful for him. He realizes that they won't change and it is wrong for them to treat me as they do.

 

It is a tragedy for them because they are missing out on have relationships with these amazing kids. But I am tired of crying for them and over their hurtful behavior.Thank you for sharing your experience.

 
May 2, 2007, 5:53 am CDT

Grandparents need more rights!

It is sad that children are used as a weapon to punish people who love them.

A mother does nto have rights so above the children?  It saddens me to see

so much of that kind of behavior, a one good fix is to give more rights to the Grandparents

when they are decent people.  Children have rights too.  They have a right to them grandparents and parents do not have the right to supercede what children have rights to.

It is going on way too often, so many Grandparents loosing their Grandchildren to

the adults who use the children to punish?  I know it happens with parents against parents too.

All of it is wrong.  Children are not property!

 
May 2, 2007, 8:51 am CDT

I disagree

Quote From: shetypes

It is sad that children are used as a weapon to punish people who love them.

A mother does nto have rights so above the children?  It saddens me to see

so much of that kind of behavior, a one good fix is to give more rights to the Grandparents

when they are decent people.  Children have rights too.  They have a right to them grandparents and parents do not have the right to supercede what children have rights to.

It is going on way too often, so many Grandparents loosing their Grandchildren to

the adults who use the children to punish?  I know it happens with parents against parents too.

All of it is wrong.  Children are not property!

"Decent people" is the key element here though it is a rather vague idea. Are you a decent person if you undermine the childs parents? How about if you treat one or both of the parents with complete disregard? How about if you gossip to other family members about one or both of the parents? What about making judgements known to the parents - is that decent? What about calling the mother a liar and other choice things while the mother is only 4 months pregnant? Are you a decent person if you accept no responsibility for your behavior and the people you hurt and make no apologies? What really is a "decent person"? I know for a fact that my IL's believe this about themselves and consider themselves "good christians". They couldn't be farther from the truth.

 

Why should any grandparent that acts like above or worse have any rights? If they do, then the parents rights to not expose their kids to hateful, hurtful, manipulative, self absorbed people are infringed upon. Why should any child have to spend time with anyone who hates one or both of their parents for unfounded reasons? How does that benefit the child? It doesn't it only benefits the so called grandparents.

 

I realize their are extreme cases in which for some reason the parent is unfit and the child is possibly in danger, but every situation is different and giving blanket grandparent rights is not the answer because all too often they are looking to have their cake and eat it too. A grandparent should earn the PRIVELEDGE to be in their grandkids lives and not expect the parents to roll over any time they are around!

 
May 2, 2007, 5:59 pm CDT

The truth will prevail

Michele just needs to tell the truth and she will be okay.  I was in her shoes, only fighting a chief of police.  I kept telling the truth and he kept lying.  And of course people believed him because why would a cop lie?  DUH!!   When we got into court, the truth prevailed--and he was found out to be a liar.  The court apologized and gave me back my daughter--after a month of hell.  But in the end it worked out.  She just needs to hang in there.  They are in my prayers
 
May 3, 2007, 5:55 am CDT

Cindy & Randy need to lay off!

Michelle sounds like she might need some parenting classes but certainly not from these two meddlers; they can only be making things worse and are probably coaching the child!  Randy is just completely out of emotional control and grasping at whatever straw he thinks can build a case for himself, and Cindy is being the typical manipulative mother-in-law.  Good luck to Michelle!
 
May 3, 2007, 6:14 am CDT

lay down the law

I'm very anxious to see this show as I am a Grandmother raising her 11 year old grandson. i have had him for 5 years. My son and his ex wife are divorced, she was having an affair and my grandson was old enough to know what was going on. He also has 2 sisters who live with their MOm and visit us every other weekend. I would never talk down about their Mother to any of them, although I do not like her lack of parenting skills and I worry constantly about the welfare of my granddaughters. I still think a child can not have too many people that love them in their life so it is far better if every one in this child's life can learn to co exist and help raise this child to  have a good self esteem and grow to be a responsible person
 
First | Prev | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | Next | Last