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Topic : 08/09 Overweight and Forgotten

Number of Replies: 454
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, April 27, 2007, 02:02:37 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/04/07) Dr. Phil speaks with women who say they feel forgotten by their loved ones because of their excessive weight. Lorna weighs 650-plus pounds and feels abandoned by her family. Lorna’s sister, Glenice, says Lorna got herself into this situation; now she has to take responsibility and get herself out. Lorna’s boyfriend, Blair, takes care of her, but Glenice says he’s not the Mr. Nice Guy he appears to be. She says he's really an abuser. Lorna says Blair is exhausted and stressed from the hard job of caring for her, and her family needs to help rather than drive him away. Is Lorna ready to stop accepting the abuse and start accepting help? Then, Sunni weighs almost 300 pounds and wants to pursue her dream of being a plus-size model. Her boyfriend, Christian, however, says she’s too fat for the runway, and she should leave that dream to the skinny girls. Sunni says she is big and fabulous, and Christian makes her feel like she should crawl under a rock. Will Sunni be forced to pick between her relationship and her dream? Share your thoughts here.

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April 28, 2007, 3:41 pm CDT

the best of both worlds

Why can't Sunni have the best of both realities? I am a plus-size woman even after losing 60 lbs, and I greatly appreciate any effort to boost my self-esteem. Having great clothing helps me feel good about myself. Feeling good about myself energizes me to take steps toward achieving better health. Sunni can do a great service toward helping plus-size women feel good about themselves, and then maybe set a positive example by pursuing better health. Obesity . . . unhealthy, I'm afraid.

 

In the meantime, my tip for all my plus-size friends? Shop on-line. You'll find more stock to accommodate your special needs.

 

 
April 28, 2007, 4:04 pm CDT

Why do people always think it is quite so simple???

Quote From: soulcatchr

IF your that overweight why in the world can you not do something about your weight? Dr's can refer you for surgery. There are diet programs which I just did myself to help you eat healthy. I find this like alcholism........just find help and make the choice to quit putting it in your mouth. When it comes down to it, your all by yourself. You should not have to depend on anyone to take care of you. For crying out loud........do something to change the situation that you are in. Opinions?
Grrrrr... I hate folks that think that it is all about what you eat and dieting to cure the overweight blues.   For some, that is indeed the case and I am happy that you fell into that basket.  It is easier to cure when it is simply an adjustment of what you eat issue.

For me...

1. I had an auto accident in Feb 04 that cause trauma induced lymphedema in my legs after my knees hit the steering wheel.  They have been permanently swollen up since then.  True, while my insurance existed under my auto policy, I got the treatment  that I needed.  Since my medical benefits under my auto insurance policy ran out, I have received no treatment.

2.  Applying for SSI disability benefits is a joke.  Can't do it, unless you are unemployed.  Where is the disability factor taken into consideration?

3.  So is applying for Medicaid being a joke.  A single person has to make less than 14,000, I believe to qualify.  So, if you are working and earning more than that, you don't qualify.  If you are earning less than 14,000, you can't make ends meet to have a roof over your head and pay ordinary living expenses bills.

4.  Yes, exercise can be a key in the factor.  While I have swollen legs and feet, the best resolve I have for them right now is to keep them elevated from swelling to much and having the pain that is associated with it.  Somehow, I haven't figured out how to exercise and keep my feet elevated at all times when I am not working.  If you figure that one out, please let me know.

5.  You mentioned that doctors can refer you to surgery, but if you don't have insurance, many doctors won't even see you.  While you go into the ER and they should fix you, I feel that the ER should be reserved for dire emergencies and not to go in there and say "Fix me!", while I wish they would.  If you aren't near on your death bed, I doubt they are going to rush you into the emergency room even if you do say, "Fix me!"

6.  I have a umbillical hernia that is going untreated because I have no insurance.


While these people that are on Friday's (5/04) show may have some eating disorder associated with their overweight problems (I don't know for a fact), I just wish people would stop being so quick to judge and just presume that it is.

Grrrr.... I just wanted to reach through the computer and say so myself!!

If Dr. Phil, or any other worthy benefactor, would like to pay for my surgeries, I would have no complaints, but I think a lot needs to be done to change the way the healthcare system works and thinks!!



 
April 28, 2007, 4:39 pm CDT

Why do people always think it is quite so simple???

Quote From: soulcatchr

IF your that overweight why in the world can you not do something about your weight? Dr's can refer you for surgery. There are diet programs which I just did myself to help you eat healthy. I find this like alcholism........just find help and make the choice to quit putting it in your mouth. When it comes down to it, your all by yourself. You should not have to depend on anyone to take care of you. For crying out loud........do something to change the situation that you are in. Opinions?
Somehow the first posting of my reply disappeared so here I go to reconstruct:

I was absoluteley livid when I read your comment.  Why are folks so focused upon that the "fix" to being overweight is to redesign your eating habits?  There is so much more taken into factor.  While I am happy that your resolve was quite so simple, but for many it is not.

1.  In Feb 04, I was in an auto accident where my knees hit the steering wheel then I had trauma induced lymphedema.  While I had medical coverage under my auto insurance, the treatments worked.  When they ended, the problems continued to escalate and cause more harm.

2.  As a result of the non-insurance and lack of treatments, I have been biding my time until I do have coverage by continuing to elevate my legs and feet.  I do so at all times (even try to do some while at work without disturbing those around me).  When I am at home, I try to elevate my feet & legs constantly which finds me sleeping because I am bored stiff. 

3.  While exercise is a key to maintaining weight, it is difficult to do so while elevating my feet and legs.  If you can figure that one out, please let me know.

4.  SSI disability benefits is a joke.  You can't get it unless you are unemployed.  Where is the concern for the disabling health?

5.  Medicaid and other low-income medical programs are a joke.  Public Citizen revealed the stats about Texas ranking 48 out of 50, which I wrote about in my blog posting -- http://iwim.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/duh-texas-medicaid-program-scores-4850/ .  Pull up the report of Public Citizen and you will see that there are big fat zeros by eligibility for individuals and couples.  There is a reason for that.  Unless you are a family with 6 kids, you don't often qualify for these programs.  One can't survive off the income they require in order to have medical coverage provided.

6.  Employers are often not wanting to pay for health coverage for their parttime employees.  Although I work 40+ hours for my employer, I don't qualify since I am not a full-time employee.  According to the Texas Workforce Commission there is no law making employers to offer benefits to their employees who are working a specific number of hours, if they decree a job is only parttime.

7.  Employers  look down upon a person that is overweight and an overweight person will have a hard time getting hired on fulltime, even if their qualifications meet or exceed other contenders for the same position.

8.  While one can get treated by the emergency room by federal law, one can't simply walk in and say "fix me!" and expect all the ailments will be fixed -- especially at a reasonable cost.  What does that say about society's viewpoint on having healthcare benefiting all of those needing it.  Facing those exorberant fees of the ER keep many that need treatment away.

9.  Your comment that one can be referred to doctors for surgery may be true if you have insurance.  Otherwise, there are many doctors turning away folks because they have no insurance.  I know.  I have an umbillical hernia that is going untreated as well because I have no insurance.  I have to wait until I have extreme pain to go to the emergency room for treatment.  Sometimes I wonder how much pain is extreme; many don't put up with the aches and pains that I do.

Until healthcare is re-thought, re-formed, and re-structured, it is unlikely that many people who are overweight will get the help that they so rightly deserve as the next person.

At any rate, I would hope that you would re-think what you wrote about being able to change the situation you are in.  It is a judgemental statement that prejudges one's own factor in being overweight is due to one's own eating habits along.   I am glad it worked for you, but don't be thinking that it is indeed the issue behind these folks as well.

Grrrr.....

If you find some benefactor that wants to pay for my uninsured treatements and surgeries, please let me know.  I would love to find myself weighing 150 pounds lighter!!


 
April 28, 2007, 4:56 pm CDT

overweight

Quote From: soulcatchr

IF your that overweight why in the world can you not do something about your weight? Dr's can refer you for surgery. There are diet programs which I just did myself to help you eat healthy. I find this like alcholism........just find help and make the choice to quit putting it in your mouth. When it comes down to it, your all by yourself. You should not have to depend on anyone to take care of you. For crying out loud........do something to change the situation that you are in. Opinions?
You can blame everybody else for your unhappy life but even if they get out of your life, you won't be happy with all that weight. You do not have quality of life, you are just exsisting. The only answer is. get help. You can't do it yourself. Listen to Dr. Phil and let him help you. It is a sickness just like drinking or smoking.
 
April 28, 2007, 5:49 pm CDT

Food addiction

A food addiction is like alcoholism when it becomes self destructive and life threatening. Also there are enablers and manipulative behaviors. This much weight didn't happen overnight. You are only alone when it's your choice. Sometimes family just isn't the kind of support you need however well intentioned they are. There is a huge payoff in victimization after the caretaking is no longer useful. Those who are victims need, deserve, and should be getting all the love and support available. Then there comes the time when letting go of that need is neccessary to recover. You are a valuable person. Something is keeping you "stuck" in your current situation. Please commit to finding out what that is and going beyond it.  Blessings.
 
April 28, 2007, 6:52 pm CDT

You have to love yourself first before you can love others!

Lorna should have gotten help 400 pounds ago.  I don't mean to be mean but she really got herself in her predicament.  I know it's not easy to lose weight with all the fast food commercials and food ads everywhere, but you have to love yourself enough to care about yourself!  First of all,  I would recommend going  to her doctor to see if she has a real medical condition that's causing her excessive weight and if that's not the case see if she can get help with  bariatric surgery.  Then  some counseling would be a good idea for Lorna to find out why she got that way  or to deal with other issues in her life history.  It's not up to her family to take care of her but to help out when they can.  If Lorna's boyfriend, Blair, is not  the Mr. Nice Guy he appears to be, I think it's up to Lorna to whether she wants to live that way or not.  Once again it sounds like she needs some counseling.  
 
April 29, 2007, 8:25 am CDT

05/04 Overweight and Forgotten

Quote From: soulcatchr

IF your that overweight why in the world can you not do something about your weight? Dr's can refer you for surgery. There are diet programs which I just did myself to help you eat healthy. I find this like alcholism........just find help and make the choice to quit putting it in your mouth. When it comes down to it, your all by yourself. You should not have to depend on anyone to take care of you. For crying out loud........do something to change the situation that you are in. Opinions?
 Assuming that her weight is all through fault of her own, and not a medical condition, I agree that she needs to take responsibiltiy for her own health and self-esteem.  However, there is NO excuse for a loved one to belittle you.  If her boyfriend isn't happy with her weight and tired of taking care of her (which I'm sure is a difficult and tiresome task) then he should just leave, plain and simple.  He would be doing her more of a service leaving her to take care of herself then continuing to care for her physical needs, but breaking her down mentally at the same time.  Maybe her family isn't supporting her because they don't want to enable her.  We don't know yet but I'm looking forward to watching the show and finding out all of the details of this story.

As for Sunnie, there are plenty of plus sized models that I'm sure weigh 300 pounds.  Go for your dreams!  Don't let anyone stand in your way.  You'll resent him for the rest of your life if you don't try.  If he really loves you, he will support you even if he doesn't agree with it.  There's no reason why you should have to pick one or the other, but if it came down to it, I would rather follow my dreams and be alone the rest of my life  before I let some guy tell me what I can and can't do.
 
April 29, 2007, 9:40 am CDT

Tired of Assumptions!

I hate it when people ASSUME that it is soooo easy to lose weight!! I am a single mom of 3 children whom I love more than life. The only problem is when you are on assistance as I am, the cost of the healthy food is way beyond my means. I would love nothing more than to be able to buy the fruits and vegetables that would be better for my kids and me,but with my very limited income this is impossible. Almost 13 years ago I went for stomach stapling and this worked for awhile;but, as with everything else,it only works as good as what goes in your stomach. I have gained back 80 of the 100lbs I lost because I can only afford to buy what is cheapest and going to fill that emptiness in our bellies.I want them to have milk so we buy that at $7 for a 4 litre jug...which only lasts a couple days in my house...so to buy the milk they need,other things have to suffer. I eat whatever happens to be left over or whatever will fill the hole.I don't profess to know what goes on in others lives,but in mine I know that money is the biggest issue for not getting healthy foods. I just wish people wouldn't be so critical without knowing the whole story.
 
April 29, 2007, 10:03 am CDT

I Agree...

Quote From: txrose2006

Somehow the first posting of my reply disappeared so here I go to reconstruct:

I was absoluteley livid when I read your comment.  Why are folks so focused upon that the "fix" to being overweight is to redesign your eating habits?  There is so much more taken into factor.  While I am happy that your resolve was quite so simple, but for many it is not.

1.  In Feb 04, I was in an auto accident where my knees hit the steering wheel then I had trauma induced lymphedema.  While I had medical coverage under my auto insurance, the treatments worked.  When they ended, the problems continued to escalate and cause more harm.

2.  As a result of the non-insurance and lack of treatments, I have been biding my time until I do have coverage by continuing to elevate my legs and feet.  I do so at all times (even try to do some while at work without disturbing those around me).  When I am at home, I try to elevate my feet & legs constantly which finds me sleeping because I am bored stiff. 

3.  While exercise is a key to maintaining weight, it is difficult to do so while elevating my feet and legs.  If you can figure that one out, please let me know.

4.  SSI disability benefits is a joke.  You can't get it unless you are unemployed.  Where is the concern for the disabling health?

5.  Medicaid and other low-income medical programs are a joke.  Public Citizen revealed the stats about Texas ranking 48 out of 50, which I wrote about in my blog posting -- http://iwim.wordpress.com/2007/04/19/duh-texas-medicaid-program-scores-4850/ .  Pull up the report of Public Citizen and you will see that there are big fat zeros by eligibility for individuals and couples.  There is a reason for that.  Unless you are a family with 6 kids, you don't often qualify for these programs.  One can't survive off the income they require in order to have medical coverage provided.

6.  Employers are often not wanting to pay for health coverage for their parttime employees.  Although I work 40+ hours for my employer, I don't qualify since I am not a full-time employee.  According to the Texas Workforce Commission there is no law making employers to offer benefits to their employees who are working a specific number of hours, if they decree a job is only parttime.

7.  Employers  look down upon a person that is overweight and an overweight person will have a hard time getting hired on fulltime, even if their qualifications meet or exceed other contenders for the same position.

8.  While one can get treated by the emergency room by federal law, one can't simply walk in and say "fix me!" and expect all the ailments will be fixed -- especially at a reasonable cost.  What does that say about society's viewpoint on having healthcare benefiting all of those needing it.  Facing those exorberant fees of the ER keep many that need treatment away.

9.  Your comment that one can be referred to doctors for surgery may be true if you have insurance.  Otherwise, there are many doctors turning away folks because they have no insurance.  I know.  I have an umbillical hernia that is going untreated as well because I have no insurance.  I have to wait until I have extreme pain to go to the emergency room for treatment.  Sometimes I wonder how much pain is extreme; many don't put up with the aches and pains that I do.

Until healthcare is re-thought, re-formed, and re-structured, it is unlikely that many people who are overweight will get the help that they so rightly deserve as the next person.

At any rate, I would hope that you would re-think what you wrote about being able to change the situation you are in.  It is a judgemental statement that prejudges one's own factor in being overweight is due to one's own eating habits along.   I am glad it worked for you, but don't be thinking that it is indeed the issue behind these folks as well.

Grrrr.....

If you find some benefactor that wants to pay for my uninsured treatements and surgeries, please let me know.  I would love to find myself weighing 150 pounds lighter!!


I agree, I too have many medical problems that can't be solved by pushing myself away from the table. Even if you can get the weight off, what do you do with all the lose skin if you can't afford to have it removed its just as bad as being heavy.I have worked two jobs most of my life at the same time til my body just couldn't do it anymore. I know I have a problem with food too, but most "healthy foods" are not in my budget after bills are paid. I do eat chicken boiled or baked and salads to the point I should have a bunny tail.I do what exercises i can do given my pain and back and other medical situations, but I go thru it alone,every female in my family is over weight, I have had my stomache staple once already and after you have a child, doesn't work so well, it wasn't the kind they do nowdays. I have had many relationships, most with alcoholics and no its not the same.Most real drinkers are very thin,but they never said anything about my weight. I weigh 350lbs,currently,was down to 200lbs. before having my child 16 yrs. ago it has taken ke that long to get back up to where I used to be, I am ashamed but, don't  know what to other than having a restapling, but was told I might not be able to be put to sleep and make it thru it. For all of you that do lose and maintain it -i'm proud of you.
 
April 29, 2007, 11:32 am CDT

fat and fab

It seems she has the motivation. She needs to get help and dump his abusive butt. If he's so miserable, why is he there? She needs to kick him to the curb...
 
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