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Topic : 05/07 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 2

Number of Replies: 118
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Created on : Friday, May 04, 2007, 12:02:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil continues his work with The Dr. Phil Family. Gene and Myra’s marriage has become a war zone, with ugly fights involving name-calling, spitting and throwing objects. Their children were caught in the middle and wrote to Dr. Phil for a family intervention. To find out if their broken marriage has a chance and to heal the resentment between all the family members, they move into The Dr. Phil House. First, Dr. Phil arranges for Myra to meet Lee, a pregnant self-proclaimed mistress in a long-term relationship with a married man. Will hearing another perspective help Myra let go of her anger and bitterness over Gene’s adulterous past? Next, since Gene admits he treats women like sexual objects, Dr. Phil wants to set him straight. Three successful women arrive at the house, determined to change Gene’s views about the opposite sex. After listening to them speak, Gene breaks down and says he wants to become a better husband. But do the ladies think he’s sincere? Gene and Myra’s three adult children, Melissa, Edwin and Eugene, join them in the house. After trying to have secret conversations off camera, Melissa gets a wake-up call when Dr. Phil knocks on the door. Then, in an exercise designed to get to the root of their resentments for each other, each family member takes a turn in the “hot seat” while the others open up about what they hate about them. Guess which person can’t take the criticism and wants to leave, then talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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May 7, 2007, 8:49 am CDT

You're so right,Jim Baxter!

Quote From: choiceman

 When adults behave worse than children you know two things are absent.

1. Self-respect and 2. Criteria for choice that rises higher than the belly-button.

Self respect has to be earned - previosly - and maintained into the/a present. Criteria for choice is available that is more than mediocre: non-manmade Biblical scripture. Those who reject that are doomed to averageness - and worse. Lotsa luck!  Jim Baxter          vincit veritas
But, this family is not geared to think in the manner of your post. Stercus accidit. Merda taurorum animas conturbit. Ridentem dicere verum quid vetat?
 
May 7, 2007, 9:05 am CDT

Narcissist?

Quote From: lesdis5

Hey Dr. Phil

 

Even though we have not seen part one here in Norway yet, I am guessing who is leaving the house, and that is - Gene.

 

He seems to me to be like my ex husband - a psycopath. Withour empaty and responsabillity.

 

I through my husband out in the end. Did not see any reason why I should stay married to that son of a b...! The problem was that  by then was 3 months pregnant. That matter also explain this man. He was thrilled with me being pregnant (had been married for 9 months by then) but all of a sudden it seems without any warning - because we had many lovely years also, but one day he said: either I abort the child or he would divorce me.

 

I said: I divorce you! This he did not like at all. To punish me he punished my daughter for 20 years by refusing to see her, saying he did not have time. To much tennis-playing! And so on.

 

When he realised he was dying he got in touch with her, telling her that it was ME who kept her away form him!

 

That huge lie may have done something to our relationship, because today my daughter is being very unempathetic to me.

 

I love your shows, dr. Phil, I only wish you would focus on people with the above mentioned "personal disturbance".

 

Yours sincerely, Sidsel Dahl

How ironic! I have recently began to research narcissism and feel 100% sure that my husband is a narcissist. I hate him, but cannot get rid of him. He lies, cheats and is nothing but a bum. Why is it that these people have this power over us? Why can I not walk away and never look back? I have began seeing a counselor, but it is thrown in my face daily. I would love to see some shows on this topic and even be willing to appear on the show.
 
May 7, 2007, 11:20 am CDT

Don't sit around waiting to be saved. You're better than that!

Quote From: jisims

How ironic! I have recently began to research narcissism and feel 100% sure that my husband is a narcissist. I hate him, but cannot get rid of him. He lies, cheats and is nothing but a bum. Why is it that these people have this power over us? Why can I not walk away and never look back? I have began seeing a counselor, but it is thrown in my face daily. I would love to see some shows on this topic and even be willing to appear on the show.

You ask, "Why is it that these people have this power over us?" That does not take much to answer. As Dr. Phil always says, "We teach people how to treat us." Therefore, you ALLOW it.

 

Toughen up, LIKE yourself, LOVE your chidren even more and WANT MORE for both you and them! It's not brain surgery.....love doesn't hurt physically or emotionally. If it does, you don't know the meaning of love. And neither does he!

 

I am not trying to be mean or condemning or friviolous. I am trying to tell you that it is ALL UP TO YOU! It's your choice. It may be a difficult move (any change is scary), but it's a necessary move.

 

Years ago (before my marriage of 18 years), I dated a guy who was a jerk. He always referred to me as his "guest" when I spent the weekends. He didn't even buy me a meal out (and he was loaded). The final straw was when I learned he didn't even invite me to his Christmas party!!! However, this guy professed to love me, he constantly complimented me and he loved to be seen with me.

 

What woke me up???? My sister called one day with one simple question....she asked me "WHY?" I knew what she meant and slept on it all evening long. The next day I DUMPED my jerk. Later that night I met my wonderful future husband (of 18 years)!!!!

 

Stop waiting to be saved. Save yourself TODAY. What are you waiting for?????? I have faith that you CAN do it. Don't wait for a couselor to tell you what you already know.

 
May 7, 2007, 1:16 pm CDT

Good for you

 I want to say that I really admire this family for being on the show. You are all very brave. Secondly I want to tell Melissa she is especially brave for getting the ball rolling for her and her family.  Most families have problems so you are definitely NOT out of the ordinary. Any one of us here could use the Dr Phil House to bring our families closer and deal with problems.  I really hope it all works out for you. You seem like a really nice family who do love each other.

A special mention to the parents.! The two of them are really funny together. You had me rolling on the ground during the first show. I think most people can relate to you. You 2 could do a sitcom together. I hope you stay together; problems and all.  We all have problems. It's just a matter of identifying them and working through them

Good luck to you all. I am pulling for you.! You guys are great.
 
May 7, 2007, 1:52 pm CDT

Reality Check

I listened to the show as i was doing my homework and realized that what was happening on tv was the same thing my family went through.  my dad's mom died when he was young and his dad remarried, having 5 more kids. My dad treated them horribly, never accepting them at all. he thought they were a disgrace to his family. Now he treated my mom, my 2 brothers, and me the same way. we weren't his "perfect family" . He left 2 years ago, and now has a new woman in his life and he wants us kids to be okay with that....and we are not. we refuse to talk to him because he had no respect for us at all. so i thought the show was kind of scary that it is exactly ike what my family has been through.
 
May 7, 2007, 1:57 pm CDT

We are equal!!!

I am watching the show as I type and am furious with this jerk.  He just said that he feels women are beneath him and he doesn't care that he cheats even on his mistress(es).  I take strong offense to that ignorant statement!  Need I remind you Gene, that God made woman from mans rib?  Incase you forgot where that is, it's located in the center of your body.  He did not make woman from mans foot, to be beneath him nor did He make woman from mans head, to be above him.  He made her from the center of mans body to be his equal. Furthermore, if you do a little research you'll find that man has 1 less rib than woman.  Interesting isn't it?  I realize that only those who believe in God can understand where I'm coming from on this issue.  So if anyone disagrees, I'm sorry you feel that way.

 

Michelle

 
May 7, 2007, 2:15 pm CDT

05/07 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 2

Quote From: housewife52

But I also believe that some people thrive on this type of situation. I doubt that either of these people would be happy any other way.(By the way, I have a make-believe PhD that I have gotten from cyber-space since being a member of these boards. I call it a phantom degree that only exists in my imagination)Tell me, is it possibe that some people really are only "happy" being this way?I'm certainly not one of them.
I do believe that most people in these situations thrive on the attention of their disfunctional behavior.  What I want to know is did Myra honestly think he would stop with her?  Let's be realistic.  Their relationship began as an affair too.  While I still consider every cheater scum, she can't possibly expect him to stop when that's how they met. 
 
May 7, 2007, 2:20 pm CDT

05/07 A Dr. Phil Family on Fire: House Intervention, Part 2

Quote From: buderfld8

It is hard to believe but we are taught how to act through our lives. It is very easy to say someone has no morals and no realize that I was taught morals from childhood. I had monogamous parents, and what seems absolutely common sense to me does not apply to someone who was raised differently.  We are far to quick to judge people who often do not know any better.

 

These people can learn, if they want to, how to live their lives without huting each other and everyone around them. There is so much spite, anger and thoughtlessness going on in that household. They need to try because if they do not they will take their ignorant ways to their next relationship or situation.

Or generation for that matter.
 
May 7, 2007, 2:25 pm CDT

Dr. Phil house, part 2

This family has a whole lot of problems, and none of them can be fixed in a short time.   I once was a control and perfection person and I know for sure that this causes a major block to a consistant household.  If you continue to live with someone that has cheated on the marriage then you do not have the right to keep throughing it in that person's face.  If the cheating continues and again you stay with that person you need to shut up.  One wrong does not make it right for another wrong.  You are no better than the original cheater.

 

You do not need to stay with anyone that cheats, verbally tears you down or treats you like dirt.  Words are much worse than physical damage.  However, they are equally wrong.  The adult children need to get out of the house and take care of their issues and stay out of the parents issues.

 
May 7, 2007, 2:25 pm CDT

Let's get real

It seems to me that the entire focus of this family is on Gene and his cheating.  Okay so he cheated but it's time to get over it or get out.  Myra knew he was a cheater when she met him - he was cheating with her - what were his complaints about that relationship?   There's alot more going on here than just his cheating.  The daughter needs to stay out of her Mom's marriage - the cheating is between Myra and Gene. I understand that the kids are hurting for their Mom but the venom they show for their Dad lets me know that they are putting the total blame on him,  I do not condone the cheating but Myra needs to take a look at herself and take whatever responsibility she has in this situation - for example did she become so involved with her kids that Gene felt there was nothing of Myra left for him?  I saw marriages of my friends breaking up at the 20 or 25 year mark and it took me a while to figure out that the husbands were so focused on career  and the wives so focused on the kids that when the kids began to leave home the spouses discovered that they had very little left in common. And yes some of these situations involved a cheating husband.  Again I do not condone the cheating but I can see how it can happen. Dr Phil is doing this family a disservice if he allows everyone to focus on Gene's cheating as the entire problem.
 
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