Topic : 08/07 Torn Between Two Husbands

I believe Dr. Phil contradicted himself. He told Brent to move on, that Orlena was obviously still in love with her first husband, Chad.  And you can' t live with a ghost. Then he tells Orlena to keep her committment to Brent and not see Chad. You could see it in her eyes that she wants to be with Chad, but she's trying to do the right thing by Brent. I think she should be totally honest with

Brent, Chad and herself and go back to Chad. She is only hurting Brent, who seems like a

wonderful man. Let Brent find someone who will truly love him, he deserves that. Staying with someone you don't love is only doing an injustice to all concerned. Chad served in Iraq and was shell shocked by what he saw over there, and needed time to process all his emotions. I think

they were both to quick to end their relationship. And Brent shouldn't have went into a marriage

knowing she was still in love with Chad.

 I don't know how to get through this problem of mine. I am kinda having the same problem that the lady is having that was torn between two men.
I so understand where she is coming from, because I am somewhat sharing her shoes. I was dating this guy that in the military and yes still to this day I feel in my heart that I still love him, but I am now dating this wonderful man. We live together and have talked about getting married, but in the back of my head I think of my ex.
I still think of my ex all the time and have even thought of calling his mom or brother to find out what was going on with him.
I still love him and might even still be in love with. I am so very confused.

If anyone can help please do so or if you wont to know that hole story not the short one please feel free to ask.

 

Wow!  Seriously, what a mess. 

Orlena does have some issues to work out here. Watching her body language told me that she really is not even in love with Brent.  She had her arms crossed and wasn't sitting near him as a wife would do. That has to be devastating for him. 

 

Brent seems like he is the whole package, but for some reason that just isn't enough for Orlena.  Problem..her heart is still with Chad.  I agree that she is now married and should really work on what she has.  How can she when her head isn't even into her marriage, because her heart is with Chad?  Life is too short  for Orlena to have to remind herself everyday that she loves her  husband and doesn't want to be with her ex.  Orlena needs to do what feels right and she needs to do it quick, so that the man she doesn't chose can start healing and move on.  Basically, she needs to do her business or get off the pot.  Brent needs to be with someone that returns his love and Orlena should go where her heart is.  If Orlena doesn't get it together and make a decision, she may not have Brent or Chad.

 

 

are you guys kidding me?  You can't change history just because some circumstances change.  She loved Chad.  She seperated from Chad.  After the annulment, she didn't go to Chad and say-oh hey, just kidding, I really just wanted som attention.  How about we annul the annulment and try again?  NO.  She didn't do that, she MOVED ON with somebody else.  She went so far as to marry him.  So suddenly the ex pops up, and she likes the positive male attention, and she wants to believe him that he's back to his good ole self, but you don't get to go back and undo your mistakes.  She made a commitment to Brent, who by the way must be completely blind in love with her, because nobody I know would put up with 3 days of partying with the ex without spouse in tow.  VERY inappropriate for her to think that was a good idea, by the way. duh.  The bottom line is you can't go back and change the story-not for real anyway.  If she has an ounce of sense she'll stick with Brent, who obviously loves HER for who she is NOW.  Props to you Brent-you are a rare bird.  Peace.

I thought this was a very poignant show. For once, there was no obvious "bad guy". Each was trying to fight for what they thought was right, even if to us it was obvious!

 

I do feel for Orleana, however, there is something off. No reasonable person would say that inviting your ex-husband over for a 3-day visit while you decide if you want to leave your husband for him is normal. I thought Brent was an outstanding person; he is a class -act with high standards and integiry, which is why I can't understand why he would even allow that! If I suggested this to my husband, whose character reminds me much of Brent, he would stare at me in disbelief and then tell me to take my bags with me!! Brent, you have already put up with more than any reasonable person can expect. Dr Phil is right; you and Chad are not melons on a fruit stand to be examined and prodded until the best is chosen. I do think that Orleana loves them both, but the fact that she is not WILLING to tell Chad to back off speaks volumes. She is not emotionally commited to either of them, and at this point, both men should give her ultimatims.

 

I hope she realizes what a man she has found in Brent and not make another mistake. He is too good of man to be treated this way; as I said, I'm surprised he is still sticking around. Chad left her once; what has Brent done but endured this?

 Orlena's feelings toward Chad include a huge amount of guilt about "not waiting for him as I promised".  She should understand that and ask herself how much emotion is left after she takes guilt out of the equation.  Her guilt isn't going to be assuaged by going back to him, and it is not a sustaining emotion to bring into a marriage.  She has to deal with it some other way.

Secondly, I think the question for Chad is, "Do you want to switch places with Brent?"  If he got what he thinks he wants, he'd have a wife who has a significant emotional attachment--and guilt!--towards another man.

That said, great show--in most of our problems, there are no good guys and bad guys, just people doing the best they can, like these three.

Same here! The closest I got to Orlena's love trangle, was just a dream :(

This lady really ticks me off.  There are some of us out there that couldn't even get one decent guy and there are women out there playing games that really makes me angry.  Stop playing games and make a decision.  Either back out or pick one.  That nice one that's married to her needs to get a back bone and tell her to take a hike! 

 

My comments on the lady - she cannot love her present husband the way she said she does.  That is impossible.  She communicates with her ex-husband and this is where she wants to be but is afraid to call it quits with her present husband.  She is the one that really needs help with her flying around to different husbands.  If I were Brent I would think to myself that she absolutely wants to be with her ex.  Brent, also. may be afraid to say goodbye to this relationship.  Nobody likes rejection and no one has the courage to say so.

I believe that things happen for a reason.  Chad did not put you first.  He had his chance.  He blew it.  You do not deserve to be treated like that.  Stay with Brent.  He seems to be a great guy. :)