Topic : 07/31 Strung Out!

They are ADDICTS. Addicts, by nature, STEAL, LIE, MANIPULATE, BULLY, CON, etc....

The fact that they actually showed up on national tv is a feather in their caps! Now they have a chance to get well. Most people who didn't want to get well would NOT show up on TV. The adult son, especially, WANTS to get well (and he will!).

They aren't in jail unless they are caught by the police. Dr. Phil is not the police. He's there to set them in the right direction so they can once again be CLEAN, HONORABLE, PRODUCTIVE members of society (back to the people they probably once were before they became addicts).

I give them CREDIT for taking this first step. It's more than most addicts would do!

I am a grandmother now, but grew up in an affluent, alcoholic family.  We were not allowed to hate the drinking, because we had all that money could buy.  Everything but parents who listened and understood.  The pain will never go away.

I personally do not use alcohol or drugs, but am raising my teenage granddaughter, whose mother, my daughter, is an alcoholic. 

This child, for three years, ages 14, 15, 16, was heavy into drugs and alcohol, but with tough love we triumphed.  Every time she came home "barred down", I called 911 and had her Baker Acted.  A mandatory 72 hour hospital stay.  You would be surprised at all the programs that open up as a result.  We took advantage of every one.  Rehab, parent counseling, etc.  The most painful day was the day I caught her and her friends with the pills, about 50 of them.  They were high as a kite.  I quietly went inside and called the police.  They were taken out in handcuffs.

Many a night I sat outside her room so she could not sneak out, slept on the floor by her bed, put a motion detector on her window.  I turned in all the drug dealers, stood nose to nose in the street with the thugs. (I am not real old).  I lost a beautiful SUV to vandalism, so I got a cheap car.  Had my life threatened, but I refused to let them have her.

She is now almost 18, going to school, and has a wonderful clean boyfriend.  She thanks me regularly for standing by her.  I also got the new car.

She watched the show today with me, and was saddened to see the dad addicted to meth.  I hope he succeeds, but I don't get the feeling that he is ready.  The wife needs to toughen up, especially being a nurse.  She would probably be better off going it alone, because the recovery rate for meth is about 6%.  I have become very knowledgeable about substance abuse for obvious reasons, and can sort of understand it, being a smoker, and knowing how hard it would be to quit.  Started again after six years, so I do understand.

Life is now wonderful, though, and has been for over a year.  Don't give up.  Be proactive.  The adults have to work through it on their own, but the kids CAN be saved.

I met a man who had admitted himself to a drug rehab. He said he was tired of living that lifestyle. He said he wanted his own home and family. I fell in love with right away when we met he was the first man who really made me feel like he cared for me. Boy was I a sucker. I had a good job and gave everything from clothes, jewelry and my heart, only to get it broken. He was drug free and seemed to really like the feeling, then we got married and that was when the lies started. It was almost immediately that he went back to his drug friends and now we are divorced. I learned people on drugs lie, cheat, steal and will try and con you out of anything. They can not be trusted. I really loved the man I fell in love with, but not the man he had hidden inside. They say that people can change, I'm sorry but I don't think I could every really believe that. I really don't understand how someone could give up the chance to have someone truely love them. How could drugs be more important, living with the lies of how it is supposed  to make you feel so much better, not being able to have a real life.

As a former felony parole/probation officer in FL, I had some really once-wonderful people on my caseload. Here are some examples (some of many):

1) A  college student who thought she was trying pot, but didn't know it was laced with crack cocaine. She became addicted that night and was in trouble with the law since (after dropping out of college, of course).

2) A woman who just graduated from high school and got pregnant. She tried her boyfriend's cocaine and became addicted quickly. She had another child with him. He beat her (he was a long-term addict). She left him with the kids. She committed crimes for drug money. She lost custody of her kids. She could get the back if she completed drug treatment. She refused....and chose to be a prostitute on the street w/o custody of her kids. Drugs were more important to her.

3) A man who was a respected, hard-working pharmacist at a major pharmacy chain. He tried drugs at a party and was soon addicted. He started putting fewer pills in his customer's Rx bottles. He got caught. He lost his state license and had to earn a living at a slightly more than minimum wage job. He also lost his wife and kids (she divorced him and got custody).

4) A young, married, blue collar man with a 10-yr-old daughter. He tried meth with "the guys" and got hooked. He lost his job. He got his wife hooked on it. His daughter was neglected. He went to prison and she later lost custody of their child (not sure if she went to prison, too, but wouldn't be surprised).

5) A thirty-something, college-educated married woman (very pretty) who had a great life. She injured her back. She got addicted to her Rx pain pills. Her back got better, but she couldn't stop taking the drugs..and needing more. She started stealing Rx tablets from doctors' offices. She started forging doctors' names. She got caught. Her marriage failed. She lost her job. Hubby got temporary custody of the kids (may have them now permanently). Her good reputation in the community was gone. Her looks were gone (she didn't even care to keep herself looking decent). And once or twice a month she had to pee in a cup in front of me so I could see if she were clean!!! How humiliating...talk about rock bottom!!!!

I can give you TOO many examples of actual people (good people) whose lives were ruined by drugs. They are humans and all human are flawed. They tried something (most of us have tried something bad at least once in our lifetimes....cigarettes, beer when we're kids, pot, etc). They became addicted. And they are PAYING for their crimes in MANY ways. Society does pay, too!!!

First of all I dont understand how a mother would subject her children to a father who is addicted to drugs. I grew up with a father who was addicted to drugs and was a alcoholic and it changed who I am. I wouldnt wish that on anyone. I have a daughter and I would NEVER subject her to anything that would harm her, emotionally or physically, and maybe its because I know how it feels that I can say that with confidence. I hope that he gets clean and stays clean.

As for the mother who has been adicted to pills for 25 years...Get real lady! We can see right through your lies. Its in your eyes. The eyes say it all. I hope that you stick with this rehabe and get clean for your children and yourself. Remember parents, you lead by example!

Why is it that "no mainstream medical experts" regard this "condition" as genuine?

Looking it up on the web provides lots of information that DISPUTES the condition. Perhaps that is why Dr. Phil did not mention it.

Unless you are yourself a medical doctor who has researched the condition and has proof of its widespread existence, I doubt Dr. Phil is going to be interested.

I would think that if this "condition" was first revealed in the 1950's, LOTS of doctors and researchers would be on-board by 2007. Since they are not, one has to wonder.................

Please know that I don't mean to be harsh; I know that you are not the drug addict. But if you stand by and let this continue to happen to this little girl, then you are no better than her mother. Like Oprah says "Now that you know, you can't pretend that you don't" You can't just sit back and let this continue. You MUST get that little girl out of there TODAY!!! And shame on her Dad for taking the son and not her. Someone needs to stand up for this child if her mother won't. This little girl needs to know someone cares enough to stand up for her. Not only is her life in danger, but she's learning to be a drug addict and a future abused woman.

     Being a recovering addict myself, I agree the "system" needs to change. I had to threaten to kill myself and one of my children before I could get the help I needed. I am now almost three years clean because I stood up for myself. No one can get clean until they are willing to fight the hardest battle of their lives. You can't do it for your daughter, but you can help her daughter. Who knows, maybe getting her daughter taken away will be what finally gets her to change her life.

yeah, had to leave that 'emote' on blank for this one, simply because it doesn't have the option to pick 'guilty'.  I was never that forward in my drug use, but my daughter, now only eight has told me what it did to her to always be excluded from activities (my ex-husband and I always sent her to her room and watch cartoons), even though she didn't have the maturity to know what we were doing exactly, she knew we had to be doing something wrong.  Since I have become drug free, it really irates me when I hear of my friends doing the same thing (one friend tells his son to stay out of the kitchen, but when he sits at the table the entire time and smokes joint after joint and never pays attention to him...it has an effect.  And another female friend of mine has four kids, her oldest son is my daughter's age, and she flat out tells him to go to his room that she needs to smoke her "medicine" as she calls it.  Child protective services has been in her life before, but she always cons them into closing the case by painting this pretty picture and they never realize that her husband is a severe alcoholic that is majorly abusive to their kids and she isn't any better.  I love her kids, and I love her, but I never know how to handle the situation because I know that even if I remain anonymous, she would still know who reported simply because they (the accused) are told what the exact accusation was made.  And I may say something unknowingly that I am the only one that is aware of and she would automatically know it was me that said it.

So, although I ranted about a lot of stuff, it are people like you ( and unfortunately my friends) that allow me and remind me to stay drug free.  Because unlike some parents, I am not so deluded to the fact that my daughter is alive and aware of what is going on around her regardless of her perception of the situation.  and because my parents were not drug addicts, they might as well have been - at least then I would have had something to blame!  Mine were just irresponsible, and immature and that led to abuse by step parents that my parents were not willing to stop and I ended up in Foster Care Sys.  I don't want that for my daughter.  And even though I could be an alcoholic and drug addict parent in active addiction I would still be a better parent that my own, I still have a consciousness and I don't want my daughter to have to live that life!  I want more for her and again, it's stories like yours that keep me clean!

I don't want my daughter to be sixteen and having to say what your saying.  It would truly break my heart, because I would know I had failed not just as a parent, but as a human being!

Thanks for your wisdom and insight.  I hope that carries you to lead a drug-free lifestyle...

if my daughter were ever to try to do drugs, or ask me about them I would be scaringly honest with her and depending on her age...i would do what it took to keep her from having the hell I went through, even if that meant arranging a significant stay at a indigent drug rehab program like those offered to the lowest of the low of drug addicted people.  Not some fancy treatment center or plush get away like some of the stars use!