Topic : 05/10 Obsessive Love: Secrets Revealed

It certainly IS a load of crap!  They're always the victim.  I remember the other day re-reading what happened on the original show & one of Jeffrey's complaints is that his wife doesn't show any affection.  Can you imagine this?  sarcasim Lets see I'll send out naked pictures of her & then I'll call her a cheating, lying, whore & I'm sure she'll be really passionately kissing me then huh? 

I too, left a man with this obsessive behavior.  As Dr. Phil said to Jeffrey "At some point you have to realize that you are creating what you fear most." I certainly cannot fault Jennifer for cheating.  After years of being treated like property, she just wants to be treated as a woman.  I did not cheat, but wish I would have.  At least then I would have felt better about myself...maybe.

 

Unfortunately the unforseen damage done to Jennifer's ego will take years to correct.  By the time I left I attached myself to any man or woman who gave me the time of day.  I was desperate to be respected by anybody.  I was like a whooped dog.  If I got a pet on the head, I thought I was in love.  After 12 years I am finally finding myself based on who I am and what I can do for others.

 

After all this time, my ex is still so obsessed that he drills the kids daily on my activities.  It is not unusual to look up and find him at the same grocery store.  I cannot fix his issue, just try to survive it.  If I had killed him back in the day, I'd be out of jail right now.  I don't think he will ever be normal (even remotely).  This addiction is like pedophilia, they cannot overcome it.

 

 

I'm so glad you did it. Good for you. You are a strong loving person who protected her kids against that monster. Please read my second quote to know what i've been through.

 

 

Obviously, you've never experienced it yourself or you'd see it otherwise. Enduring abuse, whether verbal, physical or a combination of both...with the added financial control, takes a lot of strength to actually live day to day. You have no clue. I have always considered myself to be a very strong person but it's amazing what my husband has been able to do to me over the years to keep me where I'm at....from threats to sabatoging jobs and everything in between. You need to read up more on the subject of abuse. It's like living with a ticking time bomb and always calculating your every move, gesture...everything....in order to survive and feel the least bit safe.  Abused women are not in any way weak my dear. They make sacrafices every day they stay in the situation and often ask themselves what the less of 2 evils is.....leaving and ending up in poverty or worse, dead....or staying and just constantly putting the put downs and other treatment in the back of their minds to cope...only hoping that there was a better way. I see this more as an issue of society being weak and not banning together to help women to put abusers where they belong, behind bars...regardless if it is verbal, physical, financial abuse or a combination. Educate yourself please.

Please reply to this posting with tips on how to leave safely. We need more useful information on here instead of just saying "GET OUT", "RUN AND NEVER LOOK BACK", etc. Anyone that is in an abusive situation knows they should get out....that's a given! (I'm in one myself and have been for over 20 years and have wanted out for at least 20!!)  Let's provide some education on HOW to get out safely....and the steps to take prior to leaving....laws, etc.!!!!

Whenever he gets a couple on the show where the man cheated, He always says that there can be NO HEALING until He truly gets the pain that she went through!

 

When is Dr Phil gong to ask this promiscuous babe the same. "There can be no healing until SHE GETS THE PAIN THAT SHE PUT HIM THROUGH WITH HER AFFAIRS.

 

YEA- Jeffery is sick, But she started it with her infidelity! 

I am so sorry she has to live in fear. My husband had convinced me I was toxic, no one would want me if I did leave. He was manipulative and horrible to me. He finally  thankfully,  fell in love with someone else online, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Emotional abuse is abuse, and no one has a right to do what they did to you. And yes you were stupid in some ways, and you will need to forgive yourself, and you have such a good life ahead of you. Try hard not to get hardened as there are so many good men out there who will treat you right - when you are ready

 

I started dating again, and I was scared but surprised how many men wanted my company, treated me well, and I had so much fun. I am remarried to a wonderful, healthy man. I made a mistake at 18, I got swept up in the want to be loved, and forgot the person I have to love first is always me - then I can give it away.

 

And I still have the scars from the first relationship, but they are softening and I know will fade with time.

 

Be firm, your children deserve a safe home, a place to grow without fear, and you are one of the lucky ones - Dr. Phil has good people protecting you. There must be some plan for your life, because so many women need help - but you got it. Out of the hundreds of responses they chose you. 

 

The day you realise you have your power back - will be one of the best in your life. It will take a while - and he will likely always be mentally ill - but you can take your power back.

 

Good luck. You will continue to be in my thoughts. You sharing your story has helped me see how lucky I was to get out when I did. Thank you.

Please refer to my post on this board to see what I'm talking about. People need to wake up & see what is happening before judging.

that Jeff has not made any progress. I don't think that you can take someone like him and expect any progress in such a short period of time.

 

I do commend Jennifer for filing for divorce. My question is why not change your email address and password, change the password for voicemail, and heck on that note change your phone number? If she was my daughter I would gladly change my phone number if it would help insulate her from him.

 

I hope that the protection Dr. Phil has for her and the kids is 24x7 and includes the kids while they are away from home, either at school or otherwise. This guy is beyond unstable and there is not a court document in the world that will stop him. I agree that Jennifer could be the next Nicole Brown Simpson if she does not have adequate physical protection.

 

My prayers are with you Jennifer.