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Topic : 05/10 Obsessive Love: Secrets Revealed

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Created on : Friday, May 04, 2007, 12:10:02 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
Dr. Phil follows up with the complicated and twisted story of Jennifer and her husband, Jeffrey. He is so obsessed with his wife, he goes to extreme measures to spy on her and keep her under his control. After the last show, Jeffrey chose to seek help at Creative Care in California, while Jennifer headed home. See what private investigators found when they did a sweep of Jennifer's house upon her return. After being in rehab for two weeks and not complying with the rules, Jeffrey receives an ultimatum from the staff at Creative Care. When Jennifer learns the news, she breaks down and shares her thoughts in a video diary. Jeffrey gets re-motivated and stays in treatment, but does his obsessive jealousy end? Afraid for her safety and ready to end the marriage, Jennifer meets with an attorney to find out what rights she has. Then, Dr. Khaleghi, director of Creative Care, has a startling message for Jennifer and reveals why he doesn't believe Jeffrey is ready to see her. And, Jeffrey joins Dr. Phil onstage to share his progress. Is he giving 110 percent like he committed to in the last show or has he been up to his old tricks? Will Jeffrey decide to return to treatment, or give in to his anxieties and return home? Talk about the show here.

Find out what happened on the show.

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booklady
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May 5, 2007, 2:20 pm PDT

05/10 Obsessive Love: Secrets Revealed

Quote From: danielcrew

Ok, obvioulsy I must have missed something.  I have watched Thursday's and Friday's shows about Jefferey and Jennifer.  My husband and I are shouting at the tv "What the heck?!  Why isn't Dr. Phil calling her on the affairs?!"  (Our daughter says we get too involved. lol ) Is there a show we missed?  If we didn't miss anything, then I don't get it.  Why isn't Dr. Phil asking her why she's at a bar until 2:00 a.m.????  Why is she asking for pictures of some guy's butt????  These aren't going to make a husband feel cozy!  When she said she couldn't believe how out of control Jefferey was when he came home and found her cheating on him, my husband and I screamed "DUH!!!!" What are we missing?!

 

Thank you! I felt the same way. If I was married to this obsessive creep, the last thing I would do is play into his suspicions. WHY would she go to a bar with someone the husband already suspected. She has several young children - how about a G-rated movie or miniature golf with the whole family? I don't recall bar-hopping when my kids were little.

 

Jeffrey is definitely a very sick man; I doubt he would ever be able to be in a healthy relationship with Jennifer but I see some real mistakes on her part as well. It will be interesting to see what the next segments show. I have a feeling he will end up in jail.

 

Did anyone notice mention of his family? I wondered how he got this way. Does Jennifer still love him or is she just stuck?
 
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housewife52
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chillin'
May 5, 2007, 2:29 pm PDT

Is surgery an option?

What about Jeffrey having a lobotomy?They used to be popular back in the 40's I think. It would probably do the trick.
 
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housewife52
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chillin'
May 5, 2007, 2:37 pm PDT

You're not missing anything.

Quote From: danielcrew

Ok, obvioulsy I must have missed something.  I have watched Thursday's and Friday's shows about Jefferey and Jennifer.  My husband and I are shouting at the tv "What the heck?!  Why isn't Dr. Phil calling her on the affairs?!"  (Our daughter says we get too involved. lol ) Is there a show we missed?  If we didn't miss anything, then I don't get it.  Why isn't Dr. Phil asking her why she's at a bar until 2:00 a.m.????  Why is she asking for pictures of some guy's butt????  These aren't going to make a husband feel cozy!  When she said she couldn't believe how out of control Jefferey was when he came home and found her cheating on him, my husband and I screamed "DUH!!!!" What are we missing?!
Ya'll really don't get it. Don't worry about it, after the first 2 shows there was a whole passle of folks that didn't get it. Go back and look at the messageboards.By the way, some of us did get it.
 
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monika2127
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May 5, 2007, 2:40 pm PDT

Optimistic

Quote From: eglady

I honestly don't think people "change" even though they say they want to and will take steps towards this goal.  Jennifer is only asking for more abuse if she stays with this maniac.  She should get out while she can and make a decent life for herself and her children.  I stayed in an unhappy (although not physically abusive) marriage "for the sake of the children."  When my son grew up, he was on drugs, overdosed and died. My daughter is troubled emotionally.  I should have gotten out and made a happy life for my children instead of harboring them in a bad environment that didn't change after the threat of divorce.  It only got worse.  If Jennifer goes back with her husband, I don't see how she can ever erase the scars of the past living hell she had with him, forgive,  and create a loving relationship.  I think she will end up dead and her children will be orphans if she trusts this monster, no matter if he undergoes therapy.  He is what he is.

I agree with Dr. phil and  I don't see an evil man when I look into his eyes. I do believe he has lost his way and he can be a better man. When we watch someone behaving irratically we can easily say he's nuts and get out but......we didnt see the man she married and that man was never portrayed. I have to say when I first started watching part 2 I had the same convictions that he would kill his family one day but the more I watched I believe he can turn around. There is just something about him that makes one believe that he is truly sorry.

 

He had me beliebe that he can become the man he used to be  although it will take a lot of time .He  may have killed any love that Jennifer had left for him, but I think deep down she still loves him and cares deeply about him.

 

Jennifer, stand by your man a little while longer if you have any love left for him, you may be surprised. At least make every attempt for your children. I know what consequences divorce can have on children. I wish you all the luck in making this work out!

 

Hopeful in Az
 
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housewife52
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chillin'
May 5, 2007, 2:42 pm PDT

You just don't get it.

Quote From: cheechoofan92

Ok. This guy has some SERIOUS anxiety and stress issues. I think he is sick to do these things to his wife. He should get help. But what I don't understand is that Dr. Phil just points the finger of blam constantly at him. He completely over looks the fact that his wife has cheated twice (that he knows of). I could understand that it was a long time ago in their marriage and would overlook it and accept she has changed, but her MySpace totally changed my mind. She had suggestive photos, didn't have her husband on it, and had messages from guys with not-so-appropriate-for-someone-married photos. Why was this completely overlooked?

You just don't get it. Period.
 
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furby0001

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May 5, 2007, 3:08 pm PDT

Sometimes divorce is ok.

And this is one of those times.  In fact, I'd change identities and disappear from this

wacko.
 
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richwall3
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worried
May 5, 2007, 3:39 pm PDT

get out now, jennifer

he is a nut. nothing he has done seems rational to me.  i feel sorry for you and everyone he harassed, like your co workers. for your safety, get out of his life NOW! i am looking at the things jeffery did from a divorced fathers eyes, so i do know what loosing your spouse feels like.
 
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nala32
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May 5, 2007, 4:23 pm PDT

Your not nuts

Quote From: danielcrew

Ok, obvioulsy I must have missed something.  I have watched Thursday's and Friday's shows about Jefferey and Jennifer.  My husband and I are shouting at the tv "What the heck?!  Why isn't Dr. Phil calling her on the affairs?!"  (Our daughter says we get too involved. lol ) Is there a show we missed?  If we didn't miss anything, then I don't get it.  Why isn't Dr. Phil asking her why she's at a bar until 2:00 a.m.????  Why is she asking for pictures of some guy's butt????  These aren't going to make a husband feel cozy!  When she said she couldn't believe how out of control Jefferey was when he came home and found her cheating on him, my husband and I screamed "DUH!!!!" What are we missing?!
Obviously you love each other. Tell your husband to start by losing all his own self respect, sneak around read your diary,all your e-mails,take nude photos of you(without you knowing it) and showing his friends, lock you in rooms, offer sex with you to his friends,tell your daughter how crazy you are, GPS your car, call ALL your friends and co-workers and tell them never to talk to you again,take advantage of you in your sleep,show up when you have dinner with the girls and embarrass you,oh and to Fake his own vasectomy because your more needy when your pregnant, give it 6 months. When you cant stand the sight and sounds of him you'll understand. Good Luck.
 
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coventina29
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May 5, 2007, 5:03 pm PDT

So Right

Quote From: bleachblonde

Abusers are who they are before you enter into their lives. The emotional and verbal abuse can make you want to seek complitments, love, to just be held without judgement. I was in an abusive marrage. I did not cheat but it does not mean that I did not think about. If "if" the opportunity had presented itself I may have only becasue I wanted to be more to someone than a a 4 letter word. Sorry but the man was a freak from day one, not because of Jennifer. Thank god I did not believe I was the 4 letter words my X husband called me. And thank god our daughter is not in that situation growing up that we where in. I did not want my son growing up thinking that was what he was going to dish out to any future partner or my daughter think that was what she had to take.

You are absolutely right-- Jeffrey was an insecure, controlling manipulator before he ever laid eyes on Jennifer. Men like this deliberately seek out someone they can control-- much younger, naive, without a strong family support system. She did not not create who he is. I am glad you escaped your abusive situation and I hope the same for Jennifer.
 
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coventina29
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May 5, 2007, 5:20 pm PDT

05/10 Obsessive Love: Secrets Revealed

Quote From: nala32

Obviously you love each other. Tell your husband to start by losing all his own self respect, sneak around read your diary,all your e-mails,take nude photos of you(without you knowing it) and showing his friends, lock you in rooms, offer sex with you to his friends,tell your daughter how crazy you are, GPS your car, call ALL your friends and co-workers and tell them never to talk to you again,take advantage of you in your sleep,show up when you have dinner with the girls and embarrass you,oh and to Fake his own vasectomy because your more needy when your pregnant, give it 6 months. When you cant stand the sight and sounds of him you'll understand. Good Luck.
You  go Nala! That was well said! I love the way some of these posters are focusing on Jennifer's infidelities as though that makes all the abuse her fault, when Jeffrey was more than willing for her to sleep with other men as long as HE could control the situation. Guess her fidelity isn't quite such a big deal to him, huh?
 
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