Topic : 05/10 Obsessive Love: Secrets Revealed

"And after watching the last show (thank gawd it's the last) I'm even more convinced. "

based on what?  Do you know her?  Are you a profiler who's experienced in detecting phonies?  Jeffrey's got you snowed & so why would you think you can see her for a phoney or not? 

This person replying to you wasn't taking it "personal" she's frustrated that you're so ignorant & loudly commenting & hurting others with YOUR harsh judgement of an abused person.  You're hurting anyone watching who's being threatened that "no one will believe you".  And sheesh! if you'd educate yourself like this person suggested perhaps you'd be able to see the reality of the situation. 

Oh & I'm happy it's the last show too & that Jeffrey's where he can't hurt this poor woman &/or their kids for at least the time being. 

and I have to tell you I think that what Mike was saying is that if like your son Jeffrey is given a diagnosis of 1 name or the other & they medicate perhaps he would n't be put away and then if & when he choses not to take it he'll slip back into this outragious behavior again.  This is why he said "there are children involved here."  & they've had enough damage done to them.  I realize that you have to deal with your son when he choses not to take his meds. & it must be very dfficult and so we don't want Jennifer having to deal with that as well.  She's had enough dame done to her & so have the kids hearing their mother called all kinds of things & accussed of every horrific thing from being a tart to heaven knows what. 

Which brings me to my next part & the part of this your recent post that did frost me. 

1st.   you say don't understand in her video tape where she is "claiming" this implies you think she may not be telling the truth.  Women are *threatened* by their abusers all the time that "No one will believe you & then I'm going to................."  You don't really want to empower abusers right?

2nd I don't believe she was "claiming that she might be the 'next Nicole Brown Simpson" she was crying because OTHER people were telling her to " get out, RUN you're going to be the next Nicole Brown Simpson"  & no it didn't seem odd to me that this woman would be frozen with fear at that moment because Jeffrey was still in the center & she's sitting there surrounded by PI's & taking in info & getting instruction on the course of actions from her lawyer.  Just because she wasn't packing a bag & running didn't mean she wasn't prepairing to leave.  She was being SMART & listening to her lawyer & the other professionals around her.  The home is important because she had her career derailed by this thing called her husband going squirrely on her co-workers & getting her fired.  To help her restart her life & for her children to have a proper place to live she *needs that house* & her having that home helps to minimize the risk of her going back to an abuser because she can't take care of her children.  That was before he was in jail & the likely of a woman returning to an abuser is high.  "Is the home more important than a life" this statement trivelizes or critizies her once again & makes it sound as though her priorities are off or that she's being frivolous.  Don't you think she's had enough of that?    When you ask what she is waiting for really "more drama"?  you make it sound as though she's having fun here.  She is SCARED STIFF & she has reason to be! 

becareful how you judge someone because it could easily be you being judged & the things you do turned around to make you sound like you're unfit, silly, fivolous, making it up, irresponsible, the source of the problems etc. 

 "I never heard how he was with her before she cheated on him."

You weren't paying attention & if you go back & read "what happened on the show" you seel he "started questioning her just after they married"  which was when she was pregnant with their child.  At the time she was practically a child herself.  after a year & a half in their 2nd year of marriage she cheated on him.  & I can certainly see a young woman of her age thinking "Ok if he's going to accuse me..........."  Abusers don't become abusive they abuse form the beginning & manipulate the situation the way they want it to go & picking a 19 yr. old to marry is the start because it's easy to con someone who's young & inexperienced.  once pregnant & then married just 2 months after starting to date he had her "hooked"  This is *very common* & among the list of things to look out for when dating as a sign of an abuser "If he wants the relationship to progress real fast & marry right away".  They're "hooking you".  classic.

"She not only cheated but she kept trying to have affairs. "

This is taken from the obcessive dillusional thoughts of this man that has been twisting things so long even HE believes the lies.  Remeber just a joke of "You're a sexy bitch" to a girlfriend in an email had him accussing her of being a lesbian.  He's a liar & her continuing to try to have affairs is HIS dillusion. 

"but she is the reason he is like he is. "  People aren't made into abusers they come that way & the victim just doesn't see it. 

"everyone knows just as much as you do and everyone "gets it" in their own way. "

no you don't & there is no "your own way here"

abuse is abuse is abuse.  & it's abuse you "don't get."  & that's why the person wants you to "educate yourself" because you clearly don't know *anything* about it. 

What a wonderfull message with logic and not all emotional.

Thank you.

Yeah Jennifer was laughing...what a crime....to think that she actually had a moment of laughter out of years of hell, God forbid.

Again I am amazed at some of you people. A friend of hers from Iowa thought she might enjoy going out to a community event and her friends took pics of her with other people. She did not post these; someone else did and who cares??????

Have you never been to a party or wedding where people ask to take pics ? Or a church picnic? Many times I have met people at socials and someone will come up and take a pic of a group or with those I have met at a conference. Does that mean I am "out" with those men?

Hey...the phone is ringing....it's the 1800s on Line One for you.

And uh, how could she possibly know that freako Jeffrey--who is supposed to be in rehab focusing on his illness--would instead be spending his time searching all the internet pages in Iowa to find pics of his wife with people she's just met?

Here's the REAL question---if this guy is really committed to getting better then why isn't he spending his time doing that? Hmmm...

I think given the fact she flew from California to Virginia and then upon arrival with no sleep drove immediately to Iowa does show that she cares about her children.

Get a grip people-going out to a community event IS normal, so is laughter.

I maintain that because Jennifer is beautiful, some of the women here (probably jealous) are not cutting her any slack. If she was overweight and ugly would you still be accusing her of this? I doubt it.

I guarantee you though regardless of how she looked, Jeffrey would. Once a control freak, always a control freak.

Well I will respond.  I don't know if you are a professional or not.  I don't believe you are.  First of all if you are a professional you would not degrade a person for expressing their opion.  Degrading a person is not showing  much for your profession.  You are an angery person and may have your  reasons for that.

What evidence do you have he was treating her this way after the wedding.  She is the one that told him she had an affair.You also are making assumesons when you don't know all the facts

either. Your answer regarding the kids is insuffience  As a professional don't you realize what effect her activities will or has on the kids.  Every one agrees he needs help and should be removed from them till he has help.  That only helps one half of the problem. She also, along with the kids, needs help.  Which the doctor has never address or offered.

Sorry this is so long. It's disturbing to think this is supose to be a civil talk with all people with difference opions.

Also I am not a women but a 69 year grandfather with 2 daughters and five granddaughter and not some nut.

My grandkids are great. I go to all their activities.When they want to talk, which is often, I listen with all my attention. I don't have all their answers. But the important thing is I listen no matter what the subject.

We must relize their are two sides to all problems.  Women can also be abusers.  Check out some of the studies on the internet about this subject.

Questions?

Why did Maria the babysitter allow Jeffrey to take the kids from her home back to Jennifer's house?

I thought she told Jennifer in the phone call that she would keep the children safe, while waiting for Jennifer's mother to come for them, if she did ... cause Maria was not leaving her own children to take Jennifer's kids to the grandmother.

Why weren't the police called by Maria when Jeff showed up?

Why wasn't a call  put in to the police when Jeffrey took Maria's phone and got some information from Maria's phone regarding the situation?