Topic : 05/10 Obsessive Love: Secrets Revealed

I would like to say that yes this guy is nuts and yes, should be in treatment,  however..... It takes 2!!!! She is at least partly to blame for the state of their marriage. Her constant cheating and flirting doesn't make for a good relationship. Should this guy get another chance... NO!!! But I would like to also say that she keeps saying how abusive he is... Well, honey, as someone who was in an abusive relationship for 8 years, let me tell you, if you are afraid of that person you DO NOT stand up to them or talk to them like she has or be online with the things she has and you sure don't have an affair if you are TRUELY afraid of that person. So, sorry, but I find it hard to believe that she is afraid. I was and I wouldn't have dreamed of doing or saying the things she has.

Also, could either of them be more fake.... I see all the "crying" but where are the tears?

for those looking for advice on getting away safely here is a web site & an small piece of what is offered there.  There are links from this site to more advice too.  Read, read & learn how to make your plans & what your rights are. 

http://www.womenslaw.org/safety3.htm

General Guidelines for Leaving an Abusive Relationship

• Make a plan for how you are going to leave and where you're going to go. Make a plan for leaving if you have time to prepare. Make another plan for leaving if you have to leave in a hurry.
• A worker at a domestic violence organization can help you make a plan to leave as safely as you can. Also, Leaving Abuse Safely (www.leavingabuse.com) can help you think of ways to leave safely.
• If you're going to leave secretly, plan ahead and cover your tracks. A domestic violence worker and Leaving Abuse Safely (www.leavingabuse.com) can help you come up with plan.
• You can ask the police to escort you out of the house as you're leaving. You can also ask them to be "on call" while you're leaving.
• Put aside as much emergency money as you can.
• Hide an extra set of car keys in a place you can get to easily.
• Get a bag together with:
  • spare car keys;
  • your driver's license;
  • a list of your credit cards so that you can track any activity on them;
  • money;
  • phone numbers for friends, relatives, doctors, schools, taxi services, and your local domestic violence organization;
  • a change of clothing for you and your children;
  • medication that you or your children usually take;
  • copies of your children's birth certificates, social security cards, school records and immunizations;
  • copies of legal documents for you and your abuser. This may include social security cards, passports, greencards, medical records, insurance information, birth certificates, marriage license, wills, and welfare identification information;
  • copies of financial documents for you and your abuser. This may include pay stubs, bank account information, a list of credit cards you hold by yourself or together with your abuser;
  • the evidence you've been collecting to show that you've been abused; and
  • a few things you want to keep, like photographs, jewelry or other personal items.

Hide this bag somewhere he will not find it. Try to keep it at a trusted friend or neighbor's house. Avoid using next-door neighbors, close family members, or mutual friends. Your abuser might be more likely to find it there.

If you're in an emergency and need to get out right away, don't worry about gathering these things. While they're helpful to have, getting out safely should come first.

As you are leaving

• As you're leaving, grab the bag you hid, your driver's license, any checkbooks, and credit cards if you can. If there's time, take the originals of documents you might need - like birth certificates, social security cards, legal documents and financial documents.

  If you're in an emergency and need to get out right away, don't worry about gathering these things. While they're helpful to have, getting out safely should come first.

• Create a false trail. Call motels, real estate agencies, and schools in a town at least six hours away from where you plan to go. Ask them questions that will need to be answered by them calling you back. Give them your old phone number.
  
  
• Leave when your abuser will least expect it. This will give you more time to get away before your abuser realizes you are gone.

My husband and I agree with your point .... however, despite her ignorance - man did this guy go overboard, reason or not.  But yes, she is getting over looked in the bases of the problem because she even said before her bull there life was fine....she set whatever was lingering in him off- way off!!!!  But my hubby and I are the same....As a general comment  not totally referring to this episode but all the ones in the past- Dr.Phil you always take the womans' side no matter what she has done on her end.........thats just not right!

I hope that Jennifer reads everybody's comments and sticks to staying away from him. it's horrible for the children not only to be stuck in a situation like this but it's even worse when the mother continues to go back thinking he's better or things will change.

My mom put up with a similar situation for 15 years, 10 yrs before I was born and then 5 after that.. in the 10 years before I was born she went back 4 times because she didn't have anything but what he gave but after I was 5 and she saw how it was damaging me she left for good.. it still took years to overcome the emotional damage he had put on both of us.. get out as soon as you can, sometimes children are better off with out the father no matter how good he is too them.. when they grow up they will understand and I hope Jennifer is smart enough to take dr. phils help and never go back.. it's 100% more than what most women in the same situation are offered