Topic : 05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Dr Phil,

I am hopeful that you will be able to help this woman truly understand the danger she is facing.  This is absolutely terrifying and this man obviously needs serious help.  We read about these situations all to often, however, it is usually too late and the maniac has acted out. 

He appears so cold and calculating and I could see that you are all to well aware of this horrible situation.  Are the things that he is doing allowable under the law.  HELP!!!   Can you have him put away for all of the things he admitted to on the show?   Good luck.  You are an incredibly brilliant man and I am confident I will not be hearing something horrible happened to this woman. 

This show taped in March.  It wasn't aired until this week.  How would he have known anything she said while the show was being taped unless someone from the show was telling him where she was going?  Think, people!  The show wasn't live!

FYI, how can someone make plans when her phone is bugged?  How can someone change her phone number if HE activated the account?  He had total control over her.  Even smart people like you can be led to believe there is no way out after eleven years of abuse.  Get over yourselves and accept that the guy is crazy and will stop at nothing to harm her!  You don't know how an abused woman is going to act after all these years unless you are her.  

Using a Computer,  Telephone or even Writing letters while in Rehab are things you must EARN by your Behavior

The fact that they allowed him to to continue to harass and spy on his wife,does him or her no good. You mean to tell me no one saw him call his wife 16 times

Also there was no need for the main therapist  to tell him on the show that his wife was going ( Divorce ) in a different direction. That's why he ran... They could have waited 'till they got him back to Creative Care to tell him such devastating news

This whole scenario reminds me of the movie "Enough" with Jennifer Lopez.  That guy was a whack-job and this Jeffrey character ranks right up there mentally with the guy in that movie.  To put her into a sort of "wife protection" situation would further remove her from being able to associate with her family and friends.  She needs to arm herself with all the resources she can find so that when she does leave to make a new life for herself, she can protect herself and her children when he shows up....and HE WILL!  He needs serious help and sadly enough, it's probably going to take him doing something that will put them in harms way before the law will step in and lock the loon up.  By his demeanor on the show and his actions throughout the entire show, it's obvious that he's not interested in anyone but himself.  I realize that he is currently locked up but he will get out and go right back after her.  He talks about how he wants to see his kids but I'm getting the vibe that isn't it at all....it's HER he wants contact with.  A rational mind would tell him that even in the event of a divorce, he could still see his kids but it all boils down to a control issue with him.....he would take them and hold them hostage to further hurt her.  I'm afraid death is the only thing that would stop him.......so sad.

how DO real abused women act? 

Do you have a definition of 'good' abused women vs. 'bad' abused women? 

Taking that thinking a step further; a bad abused  woman deserves what she gets?  While a good one garners sympathy and respect?

I remain shocked and sickened by the blame Jennifer mentality.  This sort of head-in-the-sand attitude is what keeps victims of domestic abuse and violence trapped in their relationships.  Please, take the time to research and educate yourself on the subject.  We need all the help we can get.

Thanks.

DR PHIL --- I WANT TO KNOW WHEN/IF YOU ARE GOING TO CONTINUE THIS SHOW.  SURELY, YOU'RE NOT GOING TO JUST LET THIS DROP NOW!  WHEN WILL YOU CONTINUE?  ALL OF US HAVE INVESTED TIME, WORRY, AND POSTS REGARDING JEFFREY.   WILL YOU PROVIDE JENNIFER AND HER CHILDREN WITH NEW IDENTITIES AND HELP THEM TO RELOCATE WHERE JEFFREY CANNOT FIND THEM?  PLEASE INFORM US OF WHAT'S HAPPENING. 

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO POSTED THAT THIS IS JENNIFER'S FAULT FOR CHEATING ON HIM:  IF YOU HAD A SPOUSE WHO TREATED YOU THE WAY THIS IDIOT TREATED JENNIFER, YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND HOW EASY IT WAS FOR JENNIFER TO REACT TO A STRONG SHOULDER AND A COMPASSIONATE EAR.  I'M NOT SAYING THAT WHAT SHE DID WAS RIGHT; I'M SAYING THAT IT IS UNDERSTANDABLE AS TO WHY IT HAPPENED.  REGARDLESS, THAT STILL DOES NOT MERIT JEFFREY'S OBSESSION AND DISCONNECTED PSYCHOLOGICAL BEHAVIOR!

JENNIFER: GOD SPEED IN KEEPING YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN SAFE!  DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, PERMIT JEFFREY TO HAVE UNSUPERVISED VISITATIONS WITH YOUR CHILDREN.  IF YOU DO, I CAN PROMISE THAT HE WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO WIN YOU BACK AND/OR TO SCARE YOU (THAT'S WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT --- HE HAS BEEN USING SCARE TACTICS TO CONTROL YOU) AND WOULD NOT STOP AT TAKING YOUR CHILDREN'S LIVES OR PERHAPS EVEN HIS OWN IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN. HAVE THE COURT DETERMINE WHERE AND UNDER WHOSE SUPERVISION HE SHOULD BE ABLE TO SEE HIS KIDS.  CONSIDERING THE SITUATION, IF IT WERE ME, I WOULD GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO KEEP THEM SAFE, BOTH EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.  THIS MAN IS PSYCHOTIC!  MANY OF US ARE PRAYING FOR YOU AND THE CHILDREN.

You make some very valid points....I see many inconsistencies in this ENTIRE story...having a family member with a mental illness...I have NEVER seen a treatment facility that allowed the patients to have a telephone in their rooms or have that much access to a phone...

Now I am NOT BLAMING HER...but I do find it ODD that she is so SCARED and TERRIFIED but then is out partying the way she is.....

AM I THE ONLY ONE THAT SEES THAT THERE IS SOMETHING "OFF" AND "ODD" ABOUT THIS ENTIRE SITUATION??????

ALL  OF US HAVE FAULTS,  MAKE MISTAKES.

Jeffrey needs help, serious, serious help. AND RIGHT NOW, he refuses to take it!!! No fine line there.  No need to rebuttal this post if you saw the segments.  He refuses!!

  Suppose he was an alcoholic and needed to go for detox.  He would have to be away for a while and hope that he healed enough to return to his family.  Now before you all start bashing "Creative Care "lets give them the benefit of the doubt that they know what they are doing, I know all of us are so perfect but just try to pretend for a minute that we are not perfect.

You  know even if you go to detox, it is possible to manipulate the system and get alchohol.  If you do they toss you out.  Why, because there are many others that DO want to heal.  Otherwise the rest of the patients will suffer!

OK lets talk about Jennifer.  How about this from now on.  Lets think hard before we post and try not  to blame her for his problems  Maybe she was not the wife that you want her to be.  Before we lock her up in the basement with access to nothing so she cannot do any wrong that might upset Jeffrey, lets think about our own lives and our own mistakes and how we should react.

From now on..... "  HE WHO IS WITHOUT SIN SEND THE NEXT POST AGAINST JENNIFER"

  "The Keyboard is mightier then the sword"

regards to all....mike