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Topic : 05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

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Created on : Friday, May 04, 2007, 12:13:43 pm

Author : DrPhilBoard1

The incredible drama continues involving Jeffrey, an obsessive husband who won’t let go of his wife, Jennifer. After the last show, Jeffrey is on his way back to the treatment facility, when his anger gets the best of him, and he jumps out of the car and goes on the run. He finally calls his therapist from a taxi cab, but soon after is on the loose again. After four hours and a frenzy of phone calls with Dr. Phil show producers, see what Jeffrey demands. With the stress and pressure getting the best of her, Jennifer sits down with Dr. Phil to discuss their next step. In a hurried panic, Jennifer heads home and is shocked by what she finds when she walks in the front door. She takes her kids and flees to her mother’s house. Even though she’s in a safe place, why does she say she still lives in fear? Then, Jennifer’s attorney files papers and meets Jeffrey in front of a judge. Will Jeffrey be able to comply with the judge's orders? And, Jeffrey resumes talk with the Dr. Phil staff. What is he asking for? Jeffrey’s behavior continues to shock and mystify Jennifer and leaves her with only one choice. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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mike34758

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Cheerful

Message Emote

May 18, 2007, 9:13 pm PDT

my sister is OK !!!!

Quote From: kontiki

Wow, Mike - I didn't know you sister was murdered - I am so very sorry.

I would like to assure you that even when I didn't always fully agree with your posts, I never doubted your sincerity or your message.

I still maintain that your apology was more than suffiient but now understand why you wanted to go that extra step.

I guess your real message is to put on our ears & check our ego at the door.

I can do that.

Be well,

kontiki

How Ironic is this?

I copied from my post to make sure I did not make a mistake to mislead you about my sister.

"There is no doubt in my mind if my sister had continued to inadvertently feed into her x husbands insanity , she may have been killed! "

So you see sometimes if you miss a fact, whole new meaning LOL

Once a wrote a post on a message board and I made a typo that left the r out of friend. It gave a whole new meaning to my post!!!

Thank you again for all your thoughts and valuable input on this board!

Regards....mike

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mindylove2007

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Happy

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hopeful

May 18, 2007, 9:16 pm PDT

Hoping for the best

I hope her and her children the best. Hope she finds happiness and one day find the love that she and her lovely children deserves.

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kontiki

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Good

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May 18, 2007, 9:23 pm PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Quote From: mike34758

How Ironic is this?

I copied from my post to make sure I did not make a mistake to mislead you about my sister.

"There is no doubt in my mind if my sister had continued to inadvertently feed into her x husbands insanity , she may have been killed! "

So you see sometimes if you miss a fact, whole new meaning LOL

Once a wrote a post on a message board and I made a typo that left the r out of friend. It gave a whole new meaning to my post!!!

Thank you again for all your thoughts and valuable input on this board!

Regards....mike

wow -- how true!! I read a "not" in there. Wud u believe me if I said I did it on purpose? LOL

I onced typo-ed on a hockey BB -- I'll leave it to your imagination what I did with the word puck - and the keys are not even near each other.

Boy, wuz my face red!

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shoyt_2001

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Happy

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May 18, 2007, 9:23 pm PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Quote From: kontiki

A huge part of that reality is the fact that Jeffrey is a danger and she needs to be ever mindful of that fact. A huge part of her protection strategy must be self-protection -- and all that that entails.

It may not be fair but that is her reality.

She has been self protective through out all of these years. That is why she is still stuck in this relationship. She is still trying to take care of him and he counts on that. He will never quit uping the ante.

Anyone who has been through this for any number of years knows that it really messes with your brain and thought processes. She is still reacting to his signals as well as her own which tell her she is in danger and needs to get out. The signals she picks up from him are that you need to act in certain ways or I will make your life unlivable and your children will suffer. This alone can cause one to live at a high anxiety level from constantly trying to cover many different areas of responsibility.

People who have no clue about this should just back off of Jennifer. Jeffrey answers to his own craziness and manipulations. Jennifer is trying to cover all of the other basics that might relate to normal while dealing with his undermining, prisoner without walls approach.

The only thing that will stop Jeffrey is a prison with walls, no telephone, and no computer.

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shoyt_2001

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Happy

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May 18, 2007, 9:30 pm PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Quote From: kontiki

You seem a bit obsessive about Jeffrey.

You really need to worry less about disempowering Jeffrey and more about how to empower Jennifer -- in a way that keep her & her children alive.

Firstly, she must deal with what is not what should be. If the former is done correctly, the latter will follow.

Go ahead, offer some counsel. You know you want to.

Yes I am obsessive about the fact that Jeffrey is the abuser. Jennifer is the victim.

So why do you want to empower the abuser?

Once my husband knew that I was telling everyone our secrets he lost his power. Once he knew I was really gone for good he backed off. Then we had a chance to live and no one died. It was extremely hard. But as long as he could convince people that I was the problem, or he could punish the kids if he couldn't get me to do what he wanted, then he had power.

I am past it but there are many people on this board who really want to make it be Jennifer's responsibility to take care of Jeffrey. That is exactly what he wants also.

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shoyt_2001

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Happy

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May 18, 2007, 9:37 pm PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Quote From: kontiki

wow -- how true!! I read a "not" in there. Wud u believe me if I said I did it on purpose? LOL

I onced typo-ed on a hockey BB -- I'll leave it to your imagination what I did with the word puck - and the keys are not even near each other.

Boy, wuz my face red!

So you can back off of me also since you are on overload.

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canepole

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Happy

Message Emote

May 18, 2007, 9:45 pm PDT

Get her out of his grip

Quote From: manofgoods

Get that woman out of that marriage NOW! And get full custody of her children as well so that she wouldn't have to put up with his crap anymore! I just knew in my heart he hasn't changed. People like him make me so sick!

I was exhausted from tonight's show, as well. She felt obligated to take his calls and talk to him outside the Dr. Phil studio. It is time she cut off all communication with Jeffrey. Her children spent their early years with a mentally ill father. They do not need to grow up and marry into the same situation. That is what will happen if Jennifer does not cut ties with Jeffrey. I think Jennifer could benefit from counseling to heal her fragile heart. When she heals, her children can heal. She appears to be an honest, loving mother. I could see the angst in her face. I know she is not crying crocodile tears. Women can sense these things. Great work, Dr. Phil! You are bringing a situation out into the open; one that I hope will give more women (and men) courage.

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kontiki

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Good

Message Emote

May 18, 2007, 9:48 pm PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Quote From: shoyt_2001

She has been self protective through out all of these years. That is why she is still stuck in this relationship. She is still trying to take care of him and he counts on that. He will never quit uping the ante.

Anyone who has been through this for any number of years knows that it really messes with your brain and thought processes. She is still reacting to his signals as well as her own which tell her she is in danger and needs to get out. The signals she picks up from him are that you need to act in certain ways or I will make your life unlivable and your children will suffer. This alone can cause one to live at a high anxiety level from constantly trying to cover many different areas of responsibility.

People who have no clue about this should just back off of Jennifer. Jeffrey answers to his own craziness and manipulations. Jennifer is trying to cover all of the other basics that might relate to normal while dealing with his undermining, prisoner without walls approach.

The only thing that will stop Jeffrey is a prison with walls, no telephone, and no computer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Self-protection means protecting self (Jennifer) NOT Jeffrey!

As for her still taking care of him, her actions belie your words.

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kontiki

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Good

Message Emote

May 18, 2007, 9:51 pm PDT

silly girl

Quote From: shoyt_2001

So you can back off of me also since you are on overload.

There's a huge difference between a typo and bad content - didn't you know that?

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shoyt_2001

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Happy

Message Emote

May 18, 2007, 10:03 pm PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Quote From: kontiki

There's a huge difference between a typo and bad content - didn't you know that?

A typo is not thinking that someone who has said their sister might have been killed meant that the sister was murdered.

Typo vs. misunderstood because of not reading with understanding.

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