Topic : 05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Jeffery is crazy! He is someone that can lose control and kill Jennifer, her 3 kids (yes HERS.. dontating doesn't make him their daddy.. ) "he said "having children saved our marriage in the past". So he USED her children as a means to keep her!!  I am truly afraid for her and her children. Ive read several messages wondering if  she was being protected and I do think that Dr. Phil made sure she had security of some sort and that her and the children were protected and kept safe. Dr. Phil did see that he was crazy as did the rest of the world and I am sure he realized that she is in danger! I hope she moves far away and that her address is kept from him and has the proper protective orders in place. I doubt if just protective orders will keep her safe, im sure he will viloate them... which eventually will lead to him being put in jail.. WHERE HE BELONGS! ! RUN GIRL, TAKE YOUR KIDS AND RUN!!!!!!!!................. DR PHIL, PLEASE MAKE SURE SHE AND HER CHILDREN ARE SAFE AND PROTECTED!

This show sent quite the 'reminder' jolt down my spine.  

I was lucky enough to get out of a potentially similiar situation many years ago.

I dont talk about it too much anymore but this brought it back in eerie similiarity.

The individual who did this to me was a friend at first.  I did not want to have an intimate relationship with him, but he did with me.  We were first friends then roommates. (what I was thinking I dont know) 

When we became roomates I made it PERFECTLY clear that there was to be NO romantic involvement! NONE.  There was NO QUESTION what so ever.  He claimed he understood. Yeah Right!

Some of the things I remember were me not being able to leave the house unless with him.  (He always said i could but it would be a HUGE battle and mind game if I tried too)  I had to use HIS car when I did go...he called me on the cell to check on me..I had to hide in the bathroom to make my phone calls and even then he listend at the door....I would talk to male friends on the phone and he once dumped ice cubes down my shirt saying something to the effect of "HERE, THIS SHOULD COOL YOU OFF"....I had a male that I was dating come over once and we had to lock ourself in my room as i believe he was listining at the door.....then he went out and bought me flowers right in front of the man I had over just to be rude to that man.

I had everything I needed materially from this roomate of mine...so I am sure he thought he was 'taking care of me' like a man should.  But I kept reminding him he doesnt need to take care of me..we were ROOMATES and nothing more.  He kept saying he understood but it never stopped.  He was constantly needing to know what I was doing and the worst part was he was so SNEAKY about it.   Trying to be slick about it all.  Thats really the scarrey part.

Thankfully I got out of that situation and havent heard from him in years and years now.  But I never forgot that.   I dont ever want to hear from him again.  I dont wish him ill but I certainly want NOTHING to do with him.

I pray that Jennifer and her kids get out of this situation.  There is NO reconciling this.  Trust me and all the others that have gone thru similiar situations.  There will never again be any trust.  No matter how much conseling he gets.  And to top it off she has her kids to think of.  So there is no question.  Get out and get out now.  Your life and that of your kids depend on it.

If you are with in a relationship with someone, you expect the relationship to grow and deepen over time; you expect a heart connection to be made and maintained.  You operate your life based on this expectation.  When your partner in the relationship does not or cannot make an emotional connection, the relationship becomes very painful.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

Aggression in Personality Disorders and Perversions by Otto Kernberg OR Treating Personality Disorders in Children and Adolescents:  A Relational Approach by Efrain Bleiberg OR Without Conscience:  The Disturbing World of the Psychopaths Among Us by Robert Hare

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

That's exactly what I'm trying to say. As a matter of fact, look at the transcripts here to prove it:

"My husband, Jeffrey, has been obsessed with me since the day we met," says Jennifer, who has been married for 11 years.

"When I met Jennifer, it was love at first sight," says Jeffrey, who was 30 when he met 19-year-old Jennifer.

Jennifer and Jeffrey dated less than two months before they got engaged. "I thought I was in love. I thought that it was the right thing to do, because I was already pregnant," Jennifer shares. "My wedding day was a little sad. There wasn’t one person I knew there."

"Once Jennifer and I were married, I started to question her," Jeffrey admits. I took a tape recorder and put it on the phone. As soon as she’d leave the house, I’d listen to the last conversation she had. I even put a tape recorder under her car seat. After our second year of marriage, I found out that Jennifer had cheated on me. I went crazy."

Now, tell me if that's normal. They dated less than 2 months before they got engaged! They didn't know each other very well (at least she didn't) at all. He was like that in the very beginning when they got married (even before), & all of the people are pointing fingers at her to make it seem like it's all her fault. They are just either too blind to see that or are in total denial.