Message Boards

Home Message Boards

Topic : 05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Number of Replies: 2447
New Messages This Week: 0
Last Reply On:
Created on : Friday, May 04, 2007, 12:13:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The incredible drama continues involving Jeffrey, an obsessive husband who won’t let go of his wife, Jennifer. After the last show, Jeffrey is on his way back to the treatment facility, when his anger gets the best of him, and he jumps out of the car and goes on the run. He finally calls his therapist from a taxi cab, but soon after is on the loose again. After four hours and a frenzy of phone calls with Dr. Phil show producers, see what Jeffrey demands. With the stress and pressure getting the best of her, Jennifer sits down with Dr. Phil to discuss their next step. In a hurried panic, Jennifer heads home and is shocked by what she finds when she walks in the front door. She takes her kids and flees to her mother’s house. Even though she’s in a safe place, why does she say she still lives in fear? Then, Jennifer’s attorney files papers and meets Jeffrey in front of a judge. Will Jeffrey be able to comply with the judge's orders? And, Jeffrey resumes talk with the Dr. Phil staff. What is he asking for? Jeffrey’s behavior continues to shock and mystify Jennifer and leaves her with only one choice. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More May 2007 Show Boards
As of January, 2009, this message board will become "Read Only" and will be closed to further posting. Please join the NEW Dr. Phil Community to continue your discussions, personalize your message board experience, start a blog and meet new friends.

 
swchick
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
blank
May 9, 2007, 10:50 am PDT

thank God someone said something

Quote From: wrangler63

Do you ever have your own opinion on a subject, or do you just do a search on the topics for books/articles that you believe are relevant?
 Those "helpful" posts are spammed on the boards everywhere, and have become really annoying,

Anon, I wish you'd participate in discussions as participant instead of  as spammer.
 
Read Replies to this Message
Pleasance

Message Emote
blank
May 9, 2007, 12:06 pm PDT

Thank goodness there are folks willing to offer some facts .

Quote From: Pleasance

Thank goodness there are folks like anon slc who post to these message boards with some factual information and resources.

 

Your ridicule of the postings that offer education and insight into the matters at hand are uncalled for.

 

You could be of help to those that seek real information from these boards.

 

You could be a catalyst for change instead of adding to a problem.

 

I've noticed that often informational posts and resources are not allowed on the "show boards" so I'm thankful when some are.

 

These messages need to be posted in-order the message get out there.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for getting the all important messages out there.

 

Anon slc   ... your factual resources are important and necessary.

 

 
 
Read Replies to this Message
ihaveonelife
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
May 9, 2007, 2:06 pm PDT

He will not change

Quote From: calkauaigirl

Why even consider staying? These guys rarely change. Given what he has done in the past, who knows the extent of his capacity to wound. It is not about love but rather power and he is in this to win. She needs to get out now and get those children out and get into therapy. Every day she stays she loses a little more of herself and the children are learning what they are living. I am speaking from experience. My oldest son was an absolute delight to raise. He was so kind and caring. Today I barely recognize my son. It is like he died and a stranger uses his name. All of my children were wounded and they lost respect for me. And, I didn't protect them or myself and get out when the abuse started. I have paid a great price for allowing abuse. It is only by the grace of God that I have any sanity left.
Jennifer needs to get out of this marriage. She has one life to live, and it should not be with this man. He is a psycho, and he will NEVER CHANGE. I don't know what happened in this man's past, but he certainly did not become so insecure because Jennifer cheated on him. Somewhere inside of Jennifer there is a ME that will surface through the work with Dr. Phil. Jennifer, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your children. For your own sanity, and your children's well being leave, and don't look back.
 
Read Replies to this Message
housekeeper
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
May 9, 2007, 4:40 pm PDT

Obsessive Love

Quote From: sargej

          This poor woman and her children need to get away...I fear for their safety.If anyone needs witness protection.....they do ! This man should not be able to cantact  them in any way.

        I don't think he is sincere about wanting to change since he kept  his eyes closed the whole time Dr. Phil was talking to him. Please Dr. Phil make sure this woman and her children get to safety!!

There is obviously a problem, but people need to remember that it takes "TWO".  I am not defending him in any way, but if she knew about any of the things that he was doing even some of  these insane things, why would she stay with him?  I cannot comprehend why any woman would tolerate this type of behavior?  It is amazing to me that she would allow these things to happen,  knowing full well what he has been doing.  There is no way that you can live with a person for as long as they have and not know that something was going on.  I know for a fact that if something were going on in my home, I would be on the look out for any wrong behavior, and act accordingly, like leaving, call the authorities or whatever. 

 

I just cannot comprehend why any person can live with anyone for 10+ years and not catch on to the behaviors and actions.  She had to know that he was behaving in such a manor, so my ? is...Why would she tolerate any of it?  She may not have known of all the crazy things he was doing, but from my stand point, she should have seen the "red flags" he was sending out.  So, I do sympathize with her situation, but as a wife and mother, I can also see the signs.  My feeling on this is plainly this...If she knew that he was doing even one of his crazy things, it would have tagged me to think...Hummmmmmm, if he will do this then what else is he capable of?  Never ever assume anything, what is the common quote:  ASS ume...?  She had to know of some of the crazy things that he was doing, so I cannot understand why she would not think on her own and say to herself; " I need to get myself and my children out of this situation and seek help from a professional while I still can.  I have been for Jennifer since I saw the first show, but I am also a realist, I look for the signs before I act and I also can see "PROBLEM"  from the signs.   I truly hope that she gets out of this situation, but in all fairness, I believe that she could have seen the problem signs way before now.  I do pray for her and I hope she gets away, this guy is "SICK"  and I hope he can get the help he needs.

 

Ladies beware... there are more guys like him out in the world, if you are single...Screen your potential dates.  Be very picky, you could end up with a freak like Jeffery.
 
Read Replies to this Message
housekeeper
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
May 9, 2007, 4:49 pm PDT

Obsessive Love

Quote From: julianna777

run Jen as fast as you can!!! He is one SICK puppy.. He needs help in a big way. I would be scared to death to spend one more minute with that man. Good luck!!  
I do believe that Jeffery is the one who contacted the "Dr. Phil Show", not Jennifer.  But I do believe that she should have know of some of his behaviors in the first place.  Still, it was a dual effort to try to save an already "dead" marriage.
 
Read Replies to this Message
roxiealice
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
happy
May 9, 2007, 5:01 pm PDT

You need to be strong!!!!

 

I agree with Dr. Phil. he should go threw therapy. at the same time you will benefit from some co-dependency or alon meetings. it is possibly for a man to change, but you have to change too. this is from experience.
 
Read Replies to this Message
lyninsocal
User Mood
Touched

Message Emote
blank
May 9, 2007, 5:06 pm PDT

And here I thought we were through

Quote From: housekeeper

There is obviously a problem, but people need to remember that it takes "TWO".  I am not defending him in any way, but if she knew about any of the things that he was doing even some of  these insane things, why would she stay with him?  I cannot comprehend why any woman would tolerate this type of behavior?  It is amazing to me that she would allow these things to happen,  knowing full well what he has been doing.  There is no way that you can live with a person for as long as they have and not know that something was going on.  I know for a fact that if something were going on in my home, I would be on the look out for any wrong behavior, and act accordingly, like leaving, call the authorities or whatever. 

 

I just cannot comprehend why any person can live with anyone for 10+ years and not catch on to the behaviors and actions.  She had to know that he was behaving in such a manor, so my ? is...Why would she tolerate any of it?  She may not have known of all the crazy things he was doing, but from my stand point, she should have seen the "red flags" he was sending out.  So, I do sympathize with her situation, but as a wife and mother, I can also see the signs.  My feeling on this is plainly this...If she knew that he was doing even one of his crazy things, it would have tagged me to think...Hummmmmmm, if he will do this then what else is he capable of?  Never ever assume anything, what is the common quote:  ASS ume...?  She had to know of some of the crazy things that he was doing, so I cannot understand why she would not think on her own and say to herself; " I need to get myself and my children out of this situation and seek help from a professional while I still can.  I have been for Jennifer since I saw the first show, but I am also a realist, I look for the signs before I act and I also can see "PROBLEM"  from the signs.   I truly hope that she gets out of this situation, but in all fairness, I believe that she could have seen the problem signs way before now.  I do pray for her and I hope she gets away, this guy is "SICK"  and I hope he can get the help he needs.

 

Ladies beware... there are more guys like him out in the world, if you are single...Screen your potential dates.  Be very picky, you could end up with a freak like Jeffery.

with the blame the victim theories.  Darn...

 

Obviously, you've not been a victim of or close to anyone who has been abused.  You aren't aware of the emotional and financial repercussions, to say nothing of the sexual abuse, this type of behavior inflicts on women.

 

Yes, Jennifer knew what he was doing.  She knew what he was capable of.  She tolerated it because she felt she had no choice.  He had isolated her from family and friends.  He caused her to lose her job.  She had no financial resources.  She had no network of support.  All she had was HIM, and God bless her for that, and those innocent, helpless children. 

 

Please, do yourself a favor and check into the topics of emotional and verbal abuse.  Google the power and control wheel.  You might learn that someone right under your nose is trying to cope with a similar situation. 

 

If you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the problem.  We need to be more compassionate and understanding.  Then we won't have to add Jennifer's name or any others to the list that includes Nicole Brown Simpson and Lacey Peterson. 

 

 
 
Read Replies to this Message
rphenix
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
May 9, 2007, 5:30 pm PDT

Jennifer

 My husband and I watched the shows and are shocked at what we saw. We are concerned that she may need to be in hiding away from family and friends that Jeffrey might find her. We are not  convinced he really wants help or if he can be helped at this point. What damage has been down to the children. Just how sad is that!

Can't wait to see what Dr Phil has to say Thursday and Friday,
 
Read Replies to this Message
sgtdemaneda

Message Emote
blank
May 10, 2007, 1:17 am PDT

quote this

Quote From: housekeeper

There is obviously a problem, but people need to remember that it takes "TWO".  I am not defending him in any way, but if she knew about any of the things that he was doing even some of  these insane things, why would she stay with him?  I cannot comprehend why any woman would tolerate this type of behavior?  It is amazing to me that she would allow these things to happen,  knowing full well what he has been doing.  There is no way that you can live with a person for as long as they have and not know that something was going on.  I know for a fact that if something were going on in my home, I would be on the look out for any wrong behavior, and act accordingly, like leaving, call the authorities or whatever. 

 

I just cannot comprehend why any person can live with anyone for 10+ years and not catch on to the behaviors and actions.  She had to know that he was behaving in such a manor, so my ? is...Why would she tolerate any of it?  She may not have known of all the crazy things he was doing, but from my stand point, she should have seen the "red flags" he was sending out.  So, I do sympathize with her situation, but as a wife and mother, I can also see the signs.  My feeling on this is plainly this...If she knew that he was doing even one of his crazy things, it would have tagged me to think...Hummmmmmm, if he will do this then what else is he capable of?  Never ever assume anything, what is the common quote:  ASS ume...?  She had to know of some of the crazy things that he was doing, so I cannot understand why she would not think on her own and say to herself; " I need to get myself and my children out of this situation and seek help from a professional while I still can.  I have been for Jennifer since I saw the first show, but I am also a realist, I look for the signs before I act and I also can see "PROBLEM"  from the signs.   I truly hope that she gets out of this situation, but in all fairness, I believe that she could have seen the problem signs way before now.  I do pray for her and I hope she gets away, this guy is "SICK"  and I hope he can get the help he needs.

 

Ladies beware... there are more guys like him out in the world, if you are single...Screen your potential dates.  Be very picky, you could end up with a freak like Jeffery.

Housekeeper, you need a hair dryer to thaw that heart? 

 

As an emergency services provider who deals with abused spouses on a regular basis, I can say with an almost expert opinion that you have no clue what these women go through.  They are beat down physically and mentally.  It's akin to being held prisoner in a concentration camp.  They live in constant fear for their lives and those of their children, and will do anything to try and appease their abuser so they can get 5 minutes of peace in their lives.

 

Have some compassion and think to yourself how damaging your comments would be to someone who is being abused.  Look at the statistics regarding spousal abuse...like how often it goes unreported until something major happens, and how many abused wives get murdered by their abusive husbands. 

 

 
 
Read Replies to this Message
shetypes
User Mood
Mellow

Message Emote
blank
May 10, 2007, 5:11 am PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Quote From: wrangler63

Do you ever have your own opinion on a subject, or do you just do a search on the topics for books/articles that you believe are relevant?

I will take the liberty to answer that negative question?

Obviously that poster had the opinion that putting up statistics

was needed or better explained what they felt?

Why did it affect you to the point of asking such a question?

Why would it be any kind of wrong or negative?

Why did you have the opinion to judge if it was or wasn't a search,

book or article post for relevance?  maybe it is a show employee?

That would suck huh?
 
Read Replies to this Message
First | Prev | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | Next | Last

  • Be in the Audience >>Click Here or call 323-461-PHIL
  • Visit the Dr. Phil Foundation >>Click Here
 
Recent Shows: Behind the Headlines | "Bring Me Back My Hot, Se... | Teen Mama Drama | Majoring in Failure? | A Father Accused: Who's T...