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Topic : 05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

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Created on : Friday, May 04, 2007, 12:13:43 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
The incredible drama continues involving Jeffrey, an obsessive husband who won’t let go of his wife, Jennifer. After the last show, Jeffrey is on his way back to the treatment facility, when his anger gets the best of him, and he jumps out of the car and goes on the run. He finally calls his therapist from a taxi cab, but soon after is on the loose again. After four hours and a frenzy of phone calls with Dr. Phil show producers, see what Jeffrey demands. With the stress and pressure getting the best of her, Jennifer sits down with Dr. Phil to discuss their next step. In a hurried panic, Jennifer heads home and is shocked by what she finds when she walks in the front door. She takes her kids and flees to her mother’s house. Even though she’s in a safe place, why does she say she still lives in fear? Then, Jennifer’s attorney files papers and meets Jeffrey in front of a judge. Will Jeffrey be able to comply with the judge's orders? And, Jeffrey resumes talk with the Dr. Phil staff. What is he asking for? Jeffrey’s behavior continues to shock and mystify Jennifer and leaves her with only one choice. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

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carrieallen1
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May 11, 2007, 9:43 am PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Quote From: definca

This guy needs some time to process. He did not get the way he is today overnight. This situation between the both of them has been building up for years and years.  It likely did not start out this way, as the earlier pictures of them both seem to show them as a cute happy couple. They have two beautiful kids together.

 

Many of the comments here make me sick. I am wondering if the roles were exactly reversed would you be excusing her actions because he is not loving her? We have a double standard in our society. Men are not allowed to expect women to be held accountable.

 

What about the vows she made to "forsake all others" ?

If she had honored her wedding vows, would Jeffery be doing what he is doing?

 

We dont have all of the facts. We have not had the cameras in their house for the past 10 years  watching who STARTED this unfortunate series of events.  He may have been unstable to begin with, he may not have. He may have been being a good man to his wife and kids and she just decided to go out and sow the wild oats, which is destroying this man.  We do not know for sure

who is at fault. So why not just work from here, where we know what the facts of today are.

 

First, the kids are number one. lets not forget that THEY need a FATHER in their lives.

 

Lets not be so quick to kick Jeffery to the curb he's not on meth

 

 

 

 

oh, you are so right.  This guy deserves better because he's not on meth. 

 
 
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tereca
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May 11, 2007, 9:45 am PDT

Run, don't walk!

I think that being on your show has opened a can of worms for Jeffery and his family that could and probably will lead to the death of someone.  This guy has completly LOST IT . He will never let her go and he is the type to commit MURDER on her , the kids and other family members that get in the way.  My fear is that ,after the show when things settle down and no one is watching anymore, when they are separated, divorced or what ever......HE WILL BE BACK!!!  Dr. Phil will you be there to make sure he can not get to this lady or her kids or will she have to hide for the rest of her life? I have watched your show ever since you started and I think this guy is more than  even you can handle.  He is not listening ! He is determined to get her back as his wife and I think he will kill her if he has to.  This lady should change her identity and dig a whole big enough that he can't ever find her!!!
 
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lillisa2
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May 11, 2007, 9:45 am PDT

What is going on?

I feel Jeffery has some huge problems, but what is jennifer doing putting fuel on the fire?  Why in the world if you feel like your life is already in danger are you taking photos with other men and allowing them to be posted on the web?  Is she trying to create more drama than she already has?  She shouldn't have to watch what she is doing, but when you are dealing with someone like him, maybe it would be a good idea (at least until things are o.k.) to not give him something else to go nuts about.  I don't understand.
 
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swchick
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May 11, 2007, 9:57 am PDT

You are mistaken about the fact situation

Quote From: definca

This guy needs some time to process. He did not get the way he is today overnight. This situation between the both of them has been building up for years and years.  It likely did not start out this way, as the earlier pictures of them both seem to show them as a cute happy couple. They have two beautiful kids together.

 

Many of the comments here make me sick. I am wondering if the roles were exactly reversed would you be excusing her actions because he is not loving her? We have a double standard in our society. Men are not allowed to expect women to be held accountable.

 

What about the vows she made to "forsake all others" ?

If she had honored her wedding vows, would Jeffery be doing what he is doing?

 

We dont have all of the facts. We have not had the cameras in their house for the past 10 years  watching who STARTED this unfortunate series of events.  He may have been unstable to begin with, he may not have. He may have been being a good man to his wife and kids and she just decided to go out and sow the wild oats, which is destroying this man.  We do not know for sure

who is at fault. So why not just work from here, where we know what the facts of today are.

 

First, the kids are number one. lets not forget that THEY need a FATHER in their lives.

 

Lets not be so quick to kick Jeffery to the curb he's not on meth

 

 

 

 

You are mistaken about the fact situation.

You've drawn conclusions from the wedding photographs that are unfounded.

He exhibited this type of behaviour with his first wife.
He was a very jealous boyfriend.   His behaviour escalated after marriage.
The so-called affairs have been mischaracterized by him through omission and distortion of facts and circumstances.

This man is ill.   He has threatened his own life,   tried to get her to intervene and make contact in that theat;   he has engaged in criminal behaviour and bizarre behavior incorporating delusional thinking.

He could pose a danger to those kids.     I agree kids need a father,  but not a father who would use and abuse or harm them to control a woman.  He has already used threats of making sure Jennifer has no access to her son, to try to control her.
 
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mdw2006
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May 11, 2007, 9:58 am PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Quote From: sabrinaspell12

Not that what he is doing is right. it's not, but she shouldn't of cheated on him in the first place. when she made the decision to sleep with someone else she should of left than. sounds like the foolishness didn't start til she had the affairs. she also needs to get real. it takes two to make it or break it.
Good Lord!  He started this before the affairs that is what drove her to have the affairs!  You are probably one those that if he kills her will say she deserved it.
 
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think2
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May 11, 2007, 10:00 am PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Why isnt this man in jail? How many husbands have to murder their wives and children before people get a clue? The focus should be on him and his behavior, period. The victim blaming I see on this board is repugnant. He's an abuser. He belongs in prison. Period. No ifs and or buts. And she needs some sort of therapy to get over being abused by this man. He should *never* have any contact with her or those children ever again.
 
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lyninsocal
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May 11, 2007, 10:02 am PDT

She was 19 years old!

Quote From: nj1811

Jennifer was not allowed to have her family at their wedding??  She didn't know anyone who was there??  How stupid could she be to go through with it.  I know she was pregnant (yet another clueless person not on birth control), but there are worse things than being a single mom.  Obviously Jennifer found out what those things are.   Jeffrey belongs in jail but Jennifer needs intense, on-going therapy to discover why she believes she is so worthless. Hopefully she will someday learn to stand up for herself and be a good role model for her children.

and pregnant on top of that.  In a word, vulnerable.  Abusive men latch onto to women (girls, actually) who don't have the experience to evaluate their behavior.  He may have convinced her that she would not get pregnant or was using some sort of flawed contraceptive.  After all, he went so far as to fake a vasectomy in an effort to impregnate her again.

 

One of the key red flags in judging the potentiality of a partner to be abusive is just that.  Why would a 30 year old man pursue a 19 year old?  Because he is stimulated and challenged by her?  Obviously not.  They are at completely different developmental points in life with a dramatic imbalance in their levels of knowledge and experience.  He is attracted to power and seeks a partner who will look up to him with awe and allow him to lead her. 

 

I fail to see Jeffrey as mentally ill.  I believe he is allowing himself to be diagnosed with same in an attempt to justify or excuse his actions.  After all, wasn't it he that declared there were lots of men who were employing the same tactics?  His 'disease' is the addiction to power and control.

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
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carrieallen1
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May 11, 2007, 10:04 am PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Quote From: enk1093

Yes this guy is CRAZY, but something about her is not being 100% staright up. No wedding ring on during the video diary but she wears it to the show. A man leaves a message about having her on his mind. Could be nothing but sounds like somethnig. It still does not mean her husband needs to be a maniac. Is she being 100% honest herself about the other guy? But her husband must go before he hurts her, his kids and himself.

could one ever be 100% honest with a crazy man?

and really, are most people 100% honest in life?

ok, so some may be , I have never met this ideal race of people.  I do know that he is 100% responsible for his own actions.  Whether he has been dealt with honestly or not, all of his actions are his own and no one else's.  Whatever Jennifer has or hasn't done in her own life  and in this marriage is 100% not relevant to this situation. This isn't about her shortcomings, and a reminder, everyone has them, this is about a man who chronically violates anothers rights on many levels.  Remember, Jeff wrote Dr. Phil to air his dirty laundry, not Jennifer. 

 
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think2
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May 11, 2007, 10:05 am PDT

05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Quote From: sabrinaspell12

Not that what he is doing is right. it's not, but she shouldn't of cheated on him in the first place. when she made the decision to sleep with someone else she should of left than. sounds like the foolishness didn't start til she had the affairs. she also needs to get real. it takes two to make it or break it.

It wouldnt matter what she did or didnt do. He's an abuser. He'd make up a reason to behave the way he behaves. When you're married to an abusive person, the normal rules go out the window. Saying it takes two in an abusive situation is utter stupidity. It's ignorant of what abuse is, how abusers behave and its victim blaming in its most disgusting, repugnant form. Pick up a book and educate yourself  for Gods sake, before you spout off crap like that and perpetuate the belief that women do something to be abused.

 

And FYI, since you evidently missed it (not surprisingly) this all started before they were married and he didnt allow any of her family to attend.
 
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manofgoods
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May 11, 2007, 10:06 am PDT

He/She's lying.

Quote From: mdj20000

Sounds like this is coming directly from Jeffrey's mouth if you ask me and how did you find her MySpace page when she said on the show it was private??????  Strange.  Very Strange.
He/She's lying. I use MySpace as well, & I could not find any Jennifer's MySpace pages on there; all I see is Jeffrey's. He has about three of them, & they're all on private.
 
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