Topic : 05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

The cops can only follow the laws -of whichever jurisdiction they are in - not Phil's "fault" - the laws have NOT caught up with these situations.

 

Everything was done- exactly right. Exactly.

 

Now she needs to hide- very well- but legally. That's the hard part now. Otherwise, it will be used against her.

...not quite sure if I agree.  Look at the scenario if Jeffrey had complied with treatment.  He would have stopped calling Jen.  She would have had a break and not felt as threatened.  He would be able to have joint custody with the kids...They probably would have had Jen tell him that she wanted a divorce..etc..etc...the events were structured so that if jeffrey had made improvements he would have been able to see Jen and the kids.    It is because he is so nutty that the events 'appear" unfair to Jeffrey.

 Jennifer,

I don't know if you're reading these boards or not, but I hope you are, and are gaining some strength from the support offered here.

Please pay no heed to the folks who are blaming you for your affair causing Jeffrey's behavior. You are in no way to blame for any of this! The appropriate, sane response to an affair, assuming it actually happened and is not in his paranoid imagination, is some anger, feelings of betrayal, separation, maybe divorce, possibly some counseling. It is not nearly a decade of harrassment, stalking, obsession, imprisonment, lying, threats, and emotional torture! That is the response of a sick mind, and it was almost certainly sick well before your indiscretion, and most likely sick years before you even met him. It probably goes back to his own childhood.

It's ironic that he sought out Dr. Phil's help because he thought that it would bring you closer together and instead it has brought about his own destruction and gotten you help and relief from your unbearable situation. He hoped to show the world what a horrible wife you were and how clever he was, but instead he showed us how truly malicious and disturbed he is, and how desparate a situation his cruelty had placed you in. In a perverse way, he last-ditch attempt to control you set you free.

As terrible as this ordeal has been for you, take comfort in the fact that you now have strong people working to protect you and your beautiful children. He is in jail and hopefully he can be kept there for a long time. Probably the best thing that has come out of this is that you have gotten your story out there to the larger audience. Now millions of people have seen what is usually a dark shameful secret. I hope that other women who are in the same situation can take courage from your story and come forward and contact Dr. Phil or anyone else who can offer them some sanctuary from these dangerous men. There are a lot more women out there like you. Nicole Brown Simpson got a lot of press because her accused killer was a celebrity, but cases like hers happen every day. Though your husband brought you out into the spotlight because of his own delusions of control, you have unwittingly become the new poster-girl for women standing up against abuse. Your strength and courage prevented you from being the next Nicole Brown Simpson, and your message can prevent other women from suffering that fate as well.

I don't usually post messages on boards for TV shows, but your story moved me to speak. I was married to a master manipulator too, but yours makes mine like like a fluffy kitten by comparison. 

Hold your head high and fight like a mother bear for your kids and yourself. You're an inspiration to many. Bless you and best of luck in your new Jeffrey-less future. You deserve it.

TH in Massachusetts. 

Did anyone really think this guy was going to last in therapy?  He was only using it as yet another way to manipulate his wife into doing what he wanted.  Like most abusers, everyone else has the problem, not him.  It is obvious he has no desire to get better, and he will not stop until he gets what he wants.  Divorce this guy yesterday!

This dude might be crazy BUT Jennifer is getting far more sympathy than she deserves.

A note to all the ladies reading this, If YOU don't want YOUR middle age, slightly overweight, balding husbands to go a little crazy it would be a good idea to get the divorce BEFORE you start CHEATING on him.

...to suit his purposes. And that's to be around Jennifer because he's obsessed! He's not just crazy; nothing he says can be trusted. There was no message from a guy to Jennifer saying, "You've been running through my mind all day." First, no one would say such a stupid line, so it was pretty obvious to me that Jeffrey made that up. He said that staff at Creative Care told him that he would get to see Jennifer. No one said that. He lies to suit his purposes. How to know he's lying? His lips are moving! He's over-the-top, flat-out INSANE! I also don't know if he can be fixed.

 

I'm getting SO tired of people on this message board judging Jennifer in this situation. And I stand corrected since I read that it was Jeffrey who said she had an affair. Doesn't sound like she did since Dr. Phil didn't talk about that. He gave Jeffrey a chance to get better; Jeffrey blew it & got sent to jail. I hope he's still there, but he may not be. I'm keeping Jennifer & the kids in my prayers--and even Jeffrey--that somehow God stops him in his tracks, whatever it takes.

 

Oh, and for those of you judging Dr. Phil, NO ONE---not even Dr. Phil---could've foreseen how crazy Jeffrey was going to get--jumping out of cabs, sneaking off to the airport. Awful, horrid creep! Jeffrey literally makes my skin crawl. And he wrote Dr. Phil & thought Dr. Phil was going to back him up?? That alone shows that he's not thinking rationally. This guy doesn't even know what normal is! Wow, I've never seen anyone this crazy (but I know they're out there).

 

And LOVE is NOT obsessive and controlling. Love is NOT taking nude pictures of your wife when she's in the tanner. Love is NOT spying on your wife. Love is NOT just going to treatment to manipulate the situation. Love is NOT subjecting your children to this craziness. This isn't love! This is crazy! I don't think this guy even knows what love is. He thinks the world revolves around him & he should be able to control Jennifer. WHO locks their wife in the basement? WHO lies about having a vasectomy??

 

Love IS patient; love IS kind. Love IS trusting. Love IS NOT self-seeking. True love is NOT like this! Love is NOT stalking and spying! Love does NOT lie like Jeffrey does! Get a grip, crazy, creepy Jeffrey!

I agree with all of you that he is a sicko and she needs to get away.  The only thing that bothers me is Dr. Phil kept telling her it wasn't her fault, she did nothing wrong.  Did she not cheat on him twice when all this started?  Things seemed to be alright up until then, it seems he went off the deep end when she cheated.  Don't get me wrong I truly believe she should get away from him before he does something awful and he needs help badly, but she did do something wrong to help him get to this stage.

I agree.  I feel that Jen ultimately needs a new identity and protective custody.  What I truly hope happens from this Dr. Phil show is that our current laws are strengthened.  The police should have been able to arrest Jeffrey at the LA Airport, but according to current laws, they were not able. to....

Man I am so glad she didn't let him manipulate her.  I had to run from a man in the same way.  Nothing would stop him until he got me.  It took me seven years to realize how much control he had over me.  I hope this show helps others get help and leave a horrible entrapment.

Just because someone is acting crazy there is no grounds unless he does something to harm her or they caught him like they did violating the court order then they can arrest him. He was at LAX on his own which was not violating any court order he was not detained he went to the treatment program on his own. Now he is in jail they will have to keep him detained or in jail. He is beyond hope. I think she will have to go underground and start a new life.