Topic : 05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

Thank you for the complement.  I hope more people see the truth in the words and actions of others instead of running on emotions only and maybe pass some words of wisdom from everyone's postings to someone in need of help or a wake-up call.  Its just so unnecessary to go through life with drama.

You mentioned that by her acting accordingly might be perceived by some as giving Jeffrey power/control is a touchy one because some guys (there are women out there like this by the way) really think that way while others just like to feed on the drama so they don't want you to walk the line.  I think Jeffrey might be a cocktail of both.  I really hope he is getting help, we don't want him out here the way he went in.  But the best and only way to fight back against this guy is with caution and diligence.  I hope Jennifer is reading some of these postings herself.  I wonder what her life was like before Jeffrey, calm, drama, abuse, what?  And I wonder what Jeffrey's was like as well.  There are those that say we are born predisposition-ed to allow abuse or be an abuser and some who say it is our environment that makes us that way.  I think it varies from person to person.  It would be interesting to see the reasonings (if there are any discernible ones) as to how these two got to where they were/are.  It could help everyone to maybe better understand how to avoid these situations for some.

You know the one thing that strikes me about this situation that I don't think some people get is that these were adults that willing entered into this situation by way of poor judgment and then kinda wallowed in it.  There are those that have walked the prudent line all their lives and have bad things happen to them anyway and still walk the line to get out but the ones that abuse the prudent path of existing a situation make some un-compassionate to those that have made all the right moves.  That's sad.  I think that maybe some are confusing Jennifer with someone who by way of bad luck/chance got to where she ,which simply is not the truth.  She has the chance now for guidance and support regardless of her passed mistakes and I am hopeful she moves in a more positive direction for all involved (especially the kids) and am behind her whole-heartedly.  I wonder are the kids getting any counseling?

You are right, I did sound like that.!!  My point is you can mean well and choose wording to make it sound like the opposite.

Absolutely your are right, I did come off sounded like that and I appreciate you writing back. 

You do not think I get it and I deserve that reaction.  I hope I have not hurt you and too many others and I am truly sorry for that.

I know I did some harm here by stupid mistakes I made.  This message board should be for helping others, especially in this topic of abuse.

Thank you again,

very sincerely....mike

There is NO doubt that this man is out of touch with reality and is in serious, dire need of help.....BUT, did anyone else get the feeling that this woman was getting something out of the attention?  I couldn't help but roll my eyes when we find out that this grown woman with children has a MYSPACE account showing pictures of herself in a bikini and corresponding with other men.  THEN, 3 days after the show, this terrified and depressed woman goes out to "party" and seems to be extremely cozy with a young man.  I can't help but feel that she is obviously seeking attention from other men and that a part of her is getting off on all the attention.  I saw her crinkle her face quite a bit, but never saw a tear.  The comparison to Nicole Brown Simpson? 

     Look, I know many who read this are going to think I'm being insensitive, but please don't think that I don't feel there is anything wrong with the husband.  The man is clearly ill and she needs to get her kids as far away from him as humanly possible.  Period.  I just think that she had a part in this as well.

is locked up which isn't going to happen unless he hurts her, she is going to be killed.  We just had 2 murders in the area where I live, both domestic violence.    These abusers never change, I know, I was married to one. 

 I can't understand why Dr. Phil didn't tell her to leave him in the first show;  he wanted better TV ratings at the expense of this poor woman?  He doesn't seem like that kind of man.   I fail to see the logic in dragging this out.  Jennifer is clearly way beyond distressed and Jefferey is truly over the edge.  Who is taking care of those kids?

Jennifer doesn't have a chance unless she gets far away from him.  Someplace he cannnot find her.

My oh my are we all fired up on this one.  FIrst let me say that some of you are being quite nasty to others about this touchy subject.  Let's try to remember that we are all entitled to our own opinions and that our diversity makes this world so interesting to be in, okay?!  Be nice and tackful even if you don't agree with someone.  You would appreciate nothing less of your own opinions.

Let me also say that I have been in Jennifer's shoes before at a really young age (I married at 15) although he was a perfect angel until one week into the marriage (since I was so young that made him my legal guardian so I couldn't even file charges or anything without "my legal guardian").  Even as young and dumb asI was then I did not make some of the misakes Jennifer is making in handling this very volitale situation.  First, according to the details of the show (not my imagination), he did display nutso behavior even before the wedding but she willing married him anyway (mistake 1), then she willing had more kids with him (mistake 2), then she cheated on him instead of spending her time looking for a positive way out (mistake 3) (she herself admitted on the show that Jeffrey walked in on them in bed after driving non-stop for 16 hours to catch her) and many other behaviors such as the photos on her myspace in a bikini, picking up her male office co-worker for drinks, and the like are just antagonizing the already crazy man.  Even once Jennifer was away at her mother's house, she went out and willing had her picture taken all snuggled up to some guy and partying, not smart.  Where are the kids when she is out cheating, drinking with co-workers, snuggling with a stranger?  Unprotected with nutbag or dumped at grandma's while their whole life is turned upside down too?  Nice. The kids are in the middle of this and she doesn't seem to really be taking it seriously.  I used my head and did not get pregnant, cheat, post provocative pictures of myself and sneak around with other men (even plotonic ones) and at 17 I got out without all this drama.  I know first hand that it is hard to be in this predicament and not need a break from the hell that is everyday life but its like a drunk that drinks to get away from his problems, the problems are still there when you sober up and are more than likely worse for your behavior of trying to escape them.  Jennifer needs to grow up, put all thoughts of her "me-time" aside and seriously take charge of the situation for the kids sake because Jeffrey is clearly not going to get better.  Nobody else, NOBODY, is going to solve this if she doesn't get her head out of her butt and make all the right moves.  There will be time enough for the flirting, fun and other men once everyone is truly safe, until then she needs to reel it in and get real.

It is sad to see someone so consumed with insanity and feel that there is no hope for him.  I thought for sure there was no hope for my ex but he did turn out to be quite the wonderful dad and husband to his new wife.  He was not as disturbed as Jeffrey.  I hope with all hope that this man can be saved for his sake but also because his kids have to know him someday and they deserve to have a great dad too.  I applaud the professionals who are willing to go into a life long position of dealing with people like Jeffrey and try to make the world better with their work.  Good luck to whomever ends up with him. 

Does anyone know if he is getting any help while in jail or are they just housing him just to let him out the same way he went in?

Okay, now everyone bash on me too.