Topic : 05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run

 I just saw Jennifer's future on a Lifetime real life  based movie about Brad Cunningham murdering his wife.  Ann Rule wrote a book about it.  Here is a link to her update on the case: http://www.annrules.com/news4.htm

Here is an account of his crime from the court:  http://www.publications.ojd.state.or.us/A87792.htm

I guess his wife was also asking for it by trying to protect their children.  And she died as a result of his manipulations.  Manipulations which ended in her murder.  So many people gave credence to his lies that he never was tried in court until 8 years after her murder. 

Brad's wife was a successful lawyer.  She was his fourth wife but she believed in him then was so intimidated by him that she lived in fear of him.

His fifth wife, after he murdered his fourth wife, is a doctor.  She ended up adopting and raising his kids.  Of course, once the honeymoon period was over he threatened, intimidated, lied to her also. 

She ended up testifying against him in the murder trial.  She finally saw the same person that his murdered wife had seen.  She didn't make him that way, nor did his murdered wife make him that way, nor did the earlier three wives make him like that.  Thankfully, he is still in prison.

Jeffrey had his problems before he met Jennifer, and before his met his previous wife.  He treated them the same.  But the first wife didn't have children that he could use to threaten her with their safety.  Jennifer does have children and Jeffrey has used them repeatedly.

He used them to get back into the relationship where he could manipulate and abuse her over and over again. 

Jeffrey is not a man unless he can control another person.  Jennifer is not his obsessive love, she is his obsession to make him feel alive. 

If Jeffrey ever hopes to be a whole person, who is not living in prison for the rest of his life, then he needs to let go of Jennifer. 

Anyone who wants to put this on Jennifer is not aware of the many cases of women who never knew that they married men who were nuts because they could be so convincing and loving and nice just to hook them in.  Those same people are not paying attention to the other info that has been added about Jeffrey calling Jennifer names, calling her workplace, family, relatives, friends, etc.  Do you not see how wrong that is? 

If you don't see it is wrong then you are a part of the problem. 

 Are you Jeffrey's dad?  You sure do manage to sound just like him.  And you want people to "understand" Jeffrey and you?  Why? 

What benefit is there to accepting and understanding an abusive person unless it is to soften them up for more abuse?  Why should anyone want to do that?

 

 

Your post should be the eye opener to many that have missed the point of the show.  As in the title....      " Obsessive love".    

 

 

It must have been extremely scary and trying and still must be an uneasy time for you and your husband and family.

 

 

Peace to your family

 

very sincerely...mike

 

 

 

yesterday i was at my brothers house for a cookout with kids, i asked him if wanted to come with us. no he would be bored. so we went without him.  because i didn't hear my phone he called my brother but my brother got pull away from cookout so my brother told him that when he gets home he will tell me.  my brother arrived home less then 5 minutes later my husband was there also. which is 17 miles from our house. so that tells me that he left as soon as hung up with my brother. 

i was in the backyard with a couple of girls, he wouldn't even get off his motorcycle i had to go to him.  some words were exchanged then he left but i stayed there , walking on eggshell every time i heard motorcycle. then he called from his cell phone so i still don't know where he 's at,questioning me about certain man that were there, like i know .

my brother lives with 2 roommates that are guys  so there friends came .

 

me and kids came home around midnight, he didn't say a word to me

 

monday,

"who are you talking to"? becky,melissa ,my brother,  its never ending.

 

To answer you question yes i could

Sheila,

Please tell us what we can do to help you and your kids get to safety.  Go to Mike's message board and tell us what you need, what you have, and what we can do.  please..... 

 

huggggsssss!

 

I so hate to say this, but I see him killing her and her children then himself. I have never heard such crap from an obsessed husband. I was the victim of abuse and I knew I was going to wind up dead. He is so out of control. I hope Jen gets the saftey that I know Dr. Phil will provide to keep her and her children safe. Send to my house in Oklahoma. I would love to help her. Jen- You are a strong woman and a good mother, this will tear you down only temporarily. You will be much stronger when all this is said and done and that crazed man is out of your life. Your children will be better off as well.

Lots of Love-

If I step back  and watch what is going on right now regarding domestic abuse, I must say. why are we putting up with it in our society.  What action are we going to take to improve the laws so that we do not have to be killed to prove abuse is taking place!  This week a woman (mom of four) was killed while opening a bagel shop because she was awarded it in a divorce settlement.  Her husband (whom she a had a order of protection against) shot her dead at the store when she arrived to open up.  Today another incident involving a murder  of a grandmother watching the grandchildren, apparently the ex-husband of the mom who was out , don't know all of the details yet. 

 

It is so difficult to get out because no one believes it until it's a brutal beating or murder.  People think that the victim must have "done something" to provoke the verbal or physical attacks.  It takes so much effort to convince even good friends and family. 

 

Why do people feel like the victims of abuse and their children should have to give up their entire lives and live like fugitives, how about punishing the abuser and getting him out of the home, how about we stop laying down and cowering.   

 

Once again to Mike, thank you, you have a true understanding of this problem.  I am trying so hard to get free and to maintain as much of my children's lives as possible, I'm sick of people telling me I can't do it when I feel I can.  I just want to be free and live in peace.  My best to all who are going through this, I want so much to help others, but I'm so in need of help myself!

he has been acting like everything is fine with us. he made dinner for the kids yesterday,  i been talking to my brother about getting a place so i go there.  this morning he told my disabled son that if he makes one smart with him  he will put him down to ground, so i said enough already, of course that start something more,   he claims that i'm allowed spank him but he not allowed. then i start with spanking is one thing but you telling that you bigger, stronger and you rule the house.  so a better parent. 

I believe steven my son will have this problems when we get out of here.

 

It hard because i worry that all this stress is going to bring on a attack (MS).

 

I'm in ohio .   where r u ?

I have really kept up with this story.

Jen-  you can do what ever it is you need to do. With the help that Dr. Phil along with all of America is wanting to do to help you. I am a single mother of 2 and i would send you anything to get away. I completely agree that you need a Protective Order. But just like another person said, sometimes it is too late, I dont want to scare you any more than you already are, but I do know of a story where the protective order did not save their families lives. I hope you are not alone with your children ever. Yes, you want your children to have a normal life. At this point they dont anyway, let them have a life with body guards so they can also have their mother. I just feel so compelled to do something to help you and your situation. And when I watched your shows and the stuff that Jeffrey does I actually am scared. I hope and pray that you keep your head up and eyes open. Thank the Good Lord above for people like Dr. Phil, with him on your side I feel better as you do. Please do not hesitate in one way to contact me if there is anything I can do for you even if it is just for you to vent. I needed someone when I was going through my situation and I was not smart about it. I did it alone and no one knew I was being abuse because I hid it. You are not alone. Lots of Love~

D Jones in Oklahoma

Sheila,

I'm in Arkansas.  A little too far for you to flee.  Please go to the message board @ members6.boardhost.com/midlife.  Maybe there is someone closer who can help you.

 

If your husband lays a hand on your child, call CPS.  If you have ever had to file a police report on him, get copies and hide them somewhere.  Make sure you document these things so that there will be no questions when you need help from the police or family services.

 

If you are married, or he is the father of the kids, you will need legal support.  Google the Ohio Bar Association, they can be a huge resource to you to help find an attorney.  Contact your women's shelter, they can help you make a safe plan to leave.  There are many resources out there to help you start a new life. 

 

So, start with going to the message board.  Then, start calling attorneys and the women's shelter.  Most importantly, keep yourself and your kids safe! 

Lots of love, hope and prayers!