Topic : 08/22 The Dr. Phil House: "Make My Kid a Star"

If you actually take the time to watch the show, you might be surprised to find that the trailers only tell part of the story.  You might see that although there's certainly behavior anyone would find less than healthy and likely a little embarrassing for the mother's involved and their families, you might also see some kids with some true talent and authentic ambition to achieve a dream that is entirely their own dream.

For every Lindsay Lohan, there's a Jodie Foster.  My other child has a very regular life in a small town in Kentucky and I can tell you that he faces just as many challenges and temptations as does my daughter in Hollywood.

Plus, I'm not so sure anyone should close the books on what a clearly bright and talented woman like Lindsay Lohan might achieve before its all said and done.  Anyone remember Madonna or Angelena Jolie?

Being a critic is always the easiest of occupations.  These parents, flawed as they may be, are mostly loving parents who want the best for their children are willing to go to great lengths to demonstrate that love even when the message is filtered through their own human imperfection :-)

So, let's all watch and see what we think after the finale next Monday!

Respectfully,

Gracie's Dad

Goodness gracious!  Wow... I'm really sort of taken back by these comments and the mean-spiritedness of some the commenters.  As someone who has been involved from the sidelines of the 'Make My Kid a Star' special, I can tell everyone that although you're going to see some things that most anyone would see as bad behavior -- you're also going to see some very geniunely talented kids and some very authentically loving and supportive mothers.

I don't want to set myself up as an apologist for anything Dr. Phil's cameras have captured because I'm sure there will be some behavior and parenting that won't be defensable.  I, nor anyone else, including the moms and kids that participated, have seen the show.  So, we'll all be watching this special unfold together.  What I can suggest to everyone is that the trailers are likely a little more negative in tone than the actual shows will be.  I certainly hope so, at least!

As for my daughter Gracie's participation, I can also tell you that she really had a very nice experience at the Dr. Phil house.  Her mother, Kiki, on the other hand, was a little more stressed-out about the whole thing.  Still, Kiki told me as recently as an hour ago after reading these messages boards that she's very surprised about how negative the tone is about the show and that overall she fells very good her own participation and believes that she and I along with Grace's Bonus Dad (Kiki's husband, Steve) made the right decision to allow Grace to participate and compete for some very nice prizes and maybe even that 'Big Break' that anyone needs who has a dream of acting on television or in movies.

I believe if you'll just watch the show, you'll see about what you'd see if the camera was on most parents 24/7 in any competitive venue -- lots of loving support along with some behavior we might not accept as exactly healthy for the kids or the parent.  I was a decent athlete growing up and I can tell you that although my parents were never anything but positively supportive that there were plenty of Little League fathers and Soccer moms who behaved very badly when it came to their little Johnny or little Janice performing up to their standards on the field of play.

To me, this is what Dr. Phil is trying to show all us parents through these shows -- that you have to develop some objectivity about your child and learn to be supportive without either living vicariously through them and without making a mess of your child's emotional life and psychological health.  Now, that's a lesson any of us can benefit from as loving parents who have to wake up each day and figure this parenting thing out in real time without the benefit of Dr. Phil's cameras, his challenges to our behavior when we are a bit irrational or his insights about how we might raise healthy and happy kids.

As for my  Gracie, I hope the show will let you see at least one kid whose truly happy to be doing exactly what she's doing and a mom who simply is willing to do what she can, within reason, to support her children's most ardent dreams!

I'm excited to find out just exactly how this whole thing looks after the 3rd show!  My thoughts and prayers are also with the other kids and their families as we each go through this somewhat intimidating experience together.

Oh, and I promise you, the show's NOT 'rigged'! :-)

All The Best!

Kurt

Gracie's Dad

You are exactly right,

If the "Normal everday stage parents " were being featured, then there wouldn't be a show, because it would be pretty boring, I think you might agree there.

There is absolutly NOTHING wrong with encouraging your child's dreams and aspirations, BUT, it becomes a problem when they become the PARENt"S dreams and aspirations, my 15 year old and his friends at the moment want to be Rock Stars, will it happen ? Good question, but his education comes first, and I buy earplugs hehe, he's currently saving for half the price of a new Bass guitar, he also LOVES the stage and acting, but no he dosen't have an agent and we aren't running around to auditions, but he's a kid. Next year he migh want to be an astronaut, and I'm not about to move to Florida to be closer to NASA, though in the winter it might not be a bad idea.

And you are right about the coaching, most of us who have children into acting or music have PROFESSIONALS coaching and teaching our kids, like you mine can't be coached to pick up their dishes.

But its BALANCE, I do NOT eat, breathe and sleep my son's dreams, and neither does he, he does have outside interests and friends and he is NO BETTER than anyone else's child, he just has different talents.

Well dr. Phil, this is definately not  the age of the innocent!

Watching american shows make me realize that we are indeed not as crazy here in the cold north as in the states of the USA. Could it be that americans spend too much time in front of the "telly"?

Or is it lack of something nice to do? LIke in Norway ,we are well known for our beautiful nature/countryside and we do appreciate it. Here in Oslo for example we are blessed with a combination of a short distance to both water and the woods. When our king Olav was alive we might meet him on the tram "trikken"  up to Frognerseteren which is only 20 minutes by tram away from the city of Oslo. In the middle of a Sunday you will hardly meet anyone downtowm. Because that is the time we take our children hiking for several hours before we turn home for a nice healthy dinner. We do indeed visit uncle McDonald occacionaly, but are very much aware of the unhealthy food they serve, but now and again there is not to worry.

We do indeed also have our own problems, Like for instance what we decades ago ended having discussions about is nowadays big issuses because of imigration from muslim countries like Pacistan and Africa. Again we have to focus on children beeing abused concerning middleaged attitudes related to issues they say they want to escape from, but issues they still practise.

Ethnic norwegians find this issues strange and annoying that we have to deal with in 2007! But largely we do not let it bring us down.

So dr. Phil, should you decide to come to Norway I will gladly take you and your family around, being your guide. Take good care of Robin, she looks to me to be too "slim" at the moment. I sincerely hope she is not sick.

Love from Norway,

S Dahl

Acting is not looking better than the other kid/s.

Pageants have that.

Acting is not the same as pageants.

Every child has something they do. Why not acting?

That's certainly fair enough!  I'll be watching right along with you and Dr. Phil's viewers with my finger's crossed that my daughter and her mother are presented as the wonderful, thoughtful, balanced and loving human beings that I know them to be :)

Be Good!

Gracie's Dad

There's absolutely no doubt that there is "healthy way to encourage your child to do well in something that THEY like" and I that's exactly what Gracie's mother and I strive each to do with all our children -- Gracie, her brother, Warren, and Kiki's Bonus Son, Christopher.

I congratulate this mom for having healthy "boundaries" and putting her child's interest "before her own".  As parents, however, we often have to learn from our mistakes and hopefully all the parents involved in this show, including me and Gracie's mom, Kiki, will use this experience, including the upcoming shows, to learn and to become even better parents and better supporters of our children's most ardent ambitions and dreams!

Namaste!

Kurt

I tell Gracie nearly each time we have a talk about her desire to have a movie/tv career to remember that most all of life is more about the journey than it is about any particular destination and that if you can be happy and joyful during the journey then whatever your final destination you will have peace of mind and a lasting internal joy of living!

All the best to your 13 year old son with his endeavors!  Gracie's brother, my son Warren, is also 13 and very much enjoying school drama, school chorus and community theatre far away from teh bright lights of Hollywood.  In fact, Warren's probably a more natural gifted actor than our Gracie.  We call him the "Zen Master" because he has an innate ability to just go with the flow, dude :-)  Grace, in contrast, continue to live up to her namesake, Ayn Rand, in that she's singularly driven and has focused tenacity when it comes to just about any goal she chooses.

It's fun having two kids with lots of intelligence, talent and strong-wills who've chosen to manifest their attributes in very different ways.  As for me, I'd just as soon Gracie be right back here in Kentucky being the funny and fun 11 year old country girl that she is when she's with us out here in the sticks.  But, anyone who knows Ayna Grace Maddox also knows that simply wouldn't be Gracie.  No, she embodies a very rare drive to achieve her goals.

My sin, if I've committed a sin, has been to consistently tell both my kids that they can be anything they want to be and that they can achieve anything they want to achieve if they can believe it in their heart and then commit it to their minds that they can.  We've combined that with suggesting to them that in the final analysis, it is the journey that is more important than any destination and that if they remember to enjoy the journey then the final destination doesn't really matter all that much :-)

Be Good!

Gracie's Dad