Topic : 08/21 Anatomy of Abuse

Although I don't get to see the show often, when I see that there is a show on abuse, I perk up.  It is a sad state indeed.

I've been there and have been free from it for almost 10 years now.  I must say that I wish my abuse would have been physical on some level.  Then I would have seen the brutality.  In my case it was verbal and hard to recognize.

I understand the pain of physical abuse but verbal abuse can be harder in many ways.  I never saw it as abuse in the beginning.  I thought this person was trying to help me be a better person.  What a crock!!!

I spent three years in therapy before I felt strong enough in who I was to be single, alone and totally responsible for my own actions. However, I spent almost 30 years having someone tell me I was basically worthless.  It's a very long story.

In thinking about the situations presented on the show, I fully understand the sick but very real possession that one person can have on another.  My mom used to tell me that according to the Bible, you should be submissive and follow your husband's rules.  She didn't have it quite right in that it doesn't always stand true. She never talked about the husband's role to love the wife as God loves his church. 

It's hard to break a routine that has been established, the constant ridicule and mean spirited approach making it look like that person is doing this for your own good.  I now have a hard time believing I ever fell for that junk.  But... I did and I understand the process.

I guess what I want to get across here is that we are all worth the best of life has to offer.  I want to tell people that they have to love themselves enough to break away from the sickness of the other person.  I admit it isn't easy and sometimes it's so hard that you can fear for your life but there is this saying: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."  It is true.  I think now that even though I wish I hadn't stayed so long, I am a stronger person.  I am extremely worthwhile all on my own.  I am a good person, a great person. 

Please break away from the destructive behavior of someone who is sick and taking you down with them.

Lee, you ever heard of the movie, THE BURNING BED?  It's a rather interesting movie...I suggest you watch it! 

Lee I offer you a small piece of advice...stop abusing your wife before you push her too far.  I can promise you this, If you continue to hurt your wife this will all backfire on you in the long run.  Everyone has a breaking point and if you continue down the path you are traveling you will see your wifes breaking point.  

I can tell you, if your  wife did decide to "snap" on your ass I would be to the first to stand up and give her a round of applause.  I don not like to promote violence as a general rule, BUT in your case, I say to your wife...I hope she kicks your ass very soon!

Men like you make me sick!!!  Deep down inside your pitiful little soul you are a coward!  I bet you would never treat a stranger the way you treat your wife...A stranger would pound you into hamburger meat if you tried that crap with them.  And to be honest, I think a good pounding is just what you need to wake up and realize you are a waste of air!

I'm sure you have all kinds of excusses for "why you do what you do to your wife", but believe me, you will get NO sympothy here.  " Oh, poor me, I was an abused child, I watched my parents fight when I was growing up, I don't know how to control myself....BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!"  There are no excusses for ANY form of abuse. You are a grown man...you KNOW right from wrong...and you know that abusing your wife is WRONG! 

It is time you grow up Lee! Join the adult population and keep your hands and vicious comments to yourself!  Stop dumping your personal demons all over your wife!

Amy you need to take your kids and get away from Lee. Once an abuser always an abuser. I have had first hand experience that no matter how much they promise to change, they don't. I wish that when I was going through my abusive situation with my ex spouse 15 years ago that my parents would have stepped in. And although I have moved on with my life and remarried and had 2 other children, there are certain things that will bring up those old memories of the days that I spent being abused at the hands of a man. ANY MAN WHO DOES THAT TO  ANOTHER PERSON IS NO MAN IN MY BOOK.

Another abuse victim