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Topic : 08/14 Meddling Moms

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Created on : Friday, May 11, 2007, 02:30:22 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/17/07) They track your every move and monitor your conversations. This sounds like the latest GPS locator, but they’re actually meddling moms! Audrey says her mother, Mary, is rude, manipulative and trying to destroy her marriage. She says Mary calls her up to 10 times a day, telling her how to raise her kids and how to handle her husband, Matt. Matt says his mother-in-law constantly criticizes him, calling him names like “fat” and “lazy,” and saying he’s not a good provider. Audrey says the situation is so bad, she’s thinking of moving away just to find some serenity. Mary wants to butt out of Audrey’s business but says her daughter keeps putting her in the middle. Will mother and daughter ever see eye to eye? Then, Debbie says she wants her 24-year-old daughter, Amy, to get a job and get out of her house. She says Amy is a lazy slob who sleeps all day while other people care for her four children. Debbie and her husband, Dave, say they’ve spent over $70,000 on Amy in the last two years and it’s time for her to support her own family. Amy says her mom is overbearing and always on her case – telling her when to go to bed and how to raise her children. Can Dave and Debbie restore peace in their marriage and home without damaging their relationship with Amy? Tell us what you think.

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May 17, 2007, 5:49 am CDT

Meddling Moms

Quote From: mustbecrazy

I whole-heartedly agree!!
Do you believe that children are "products" of their upbringing and environment?   If you were down and out OR hit rock bottom, wouldn't you love and need someone to show you some nurturing and understanding and the "how to's"  instead of kicking you to the curb?  I think your response is a bit harsh on the human aspect.  No one is a waste of time and space, we're ALL here for a reason hon.  Look at the bigger picture of life.
 
May 17, 2007, 6:02 am CDT

Sleepy Amy may have other issues...

Quote From: silkworm

Being a mother is a tiring and demanding job that never ends. And before everyone puts down Amy we need to remember that she has four kids, and they are all under the age of 4.  Her youngest is only three months old.  I know that when my baby was that young she had to be fed every  two to three hours and that involves being up many times throughout the night.  Have any of you ever heard of the expression "sleep when the baby sleeps" ?  Well  doing this would be impossible if you have three other babies running around.  No wonder shes tired.  She is only 24 and is now a single mother left with 4 kids and all of the worries and stress that come along with being that.    I Think that she has just lost control of her life, and i think she needs more than just monetary support from her family  She needs someone to tell her that she can do better and deserves better.  She does know that she need a job but like many she is stuck in a bad situation.  How do you pay for child care for your four kids while working a job that will barely cover that expense? It is a tough situation.  While it may look like an easy solution from the outside try to put yourself in her shoes.  This is her life and it has to be hard for her to do it alone.  Maybe her deadbeat husband should pay some child support.  Good luck Amy, You can do more than you give yourself credit for, and you are stronger than you think. 

I totally agree with you that Amy or anyone would be exhausted caring for 4 kids under the age of four. She is 24 and one would think she would have a little more energy than those of us that are twice her age. What I found to be odd was her inability to wake up when the Dr.Phil folks arrived. Imagine knowing you were to be interviewed in the morning with cameras...wouldn't you get up earlier and be presentable?

Perhaps Amy has some hormonal imbalance at this time. Pregnancy takes it's toll on the body, especially having kids so close together. Given her physical being and her turmoil with the broken marriage, I would assume she would be in a state of depression.

Amy's mom and stepdad have helped her  financially over the past few years which would indicate that things weren't in order within Amy's marriage-yet another child was added to the situation.

I agree Amy needs support and guidance. Building her self esteem would be better than pointing out all the poor choices she's made. I'm sure her folks are exhausted as well and probably don't feel appreciated for the help they have provided thus far.

 

As for the deadbeat-he needs to be held accountable-both parents need to support their children. They also need to stop making babies!

 
May 17, 2007, 6:52 am CDT

How pathetic!

If Amy's parents insist on continuing to enable her behavior, Dr. Phil needs to call child services to take those four children from this pathetic excuse for a mother.  This girl needs to grow up and those precious children do not need to suffer because she is too self-absorbed to care for them.  If the parents could practice some "tough love", they could take guardianship of the children and put Princess Amy out to fend for herself.   
 
May 17, 2007, 7:03 am CDT

agree

Quote From: ohdang13

You complain because your mom tells you what time to go to bed and how to raise your kids.  Well, here's a news flash for you... YOU LIVE IN YOUR MOTHERS HOME!!!!!  Your mom has every right to tell you what to do. You sponge off of your parents so the least you could do is follow some simple rules that your parents have for THEIR home.  The key word is THEIR home. Not your home. If you want to sleep all day and be a leach on society then move out and get your own place...DUH!!!!!  But the fact is, if you live in someone elses home you follow their rules!

 

I think your mom should take away your kids and kick you out on the street! 

 

And let me ask you this...Why did you have kids anyway????  I always thought people like you should have to apply for a license before being allowed to reproduce!!!  That's all this country needs is one more lazy, wellfare mom to teach her kids how to be leaches on this countries system. GOOD JOB MOM!!!! 

 

You are a true waste of space and air!

I could not have said this better myself you hit the nail right on the head.  I cannot believe Amy, she needs to seriously grow up.  I am also 24 granted only with one 19 month old, but I do work 9 hours a day and I come home and take care of him, and on my weekends he is always with me I do not pawn him off on anyone.  I just cannot understand people like her she needed her tubed tied a long time ago, I feel so sorry for those children and the grandparents raising them

 
May 17, 2007, 7:15 am CDT

05/17 Meddling Moms

Quote From: ohdang13

You complain because your mom tells you what time to go to bed and how to raise your kids.  Well, here's a news flash for you... YOU LIVE IN YOUR MOTHERS HOME!!!!!  Your mom has every right to tell you what to do. You sponge off of your parents so the least you could do is follow some simple rules that your parents have for THEIR home.  The key word is THEIR home. Not your home. If you want to sleep all day and be a leach on society then move out and get your own place...DUH!!!!!  But the fact is, if you live in someone elses home you follow their rules!

 

I think your mom should take away your kids and kick you out on the street! 

 

And let me ask you this...Why did you have kids anyway????  I always thought people like you should have to apply for a license before being allowed to reproduce!!!  That's all this country needs is one more lazy, wellfare mom to teach her kids how to be leaches on this countries system. GOOD JOB MOM!!!! 

 

You are a true waste of space and air!

Unfortunately I know what it's like to be in your 20s and not have enough money to move out.  But, I am still an adult...and boundaries need to be put in place and a parent/ADULT child relationship needs to be put in place.  It's just hard to enforce that when you're living at home.  Sadly, I totallly understand where this woman is coming from on that end.
 
May 17, 2007, 7:35 am CDT

05/17 Meddling Moms

Dr Phil I am REALLY glad you had this topic , I too have a daughter who is 19 with a 20 month old , We have been supporting both of them for a full year now , I am not worried about not seeing my grandchild but if she will be taking properly taking care of , Jessica (the mom) will sleep in as her daughter is up getting into anything she can ,not for hours or all day but its the point your child is up you need to be up. heck her mom don't even have to be sleeping for her daughter to tear my house up....My Husband refuses to do any remodeling to the inside of the house nor new Furniture ( which I agree) till she is moved out , She had a job at the local Walmart making 7.00 an hour not even 15 mins away from home , We live in the foothill hills of the Blue Ridge Mountains..so getting a job close to home is a major plus . she quit after 3 days because it was unsteady hours in which needless to say interfered with her 16 year old boyfriends time with her ,which is the 2nd 16 year old boyfriend back to back (both being my sons friends) we are at our ends wits with her and in fear of our Granddaughters well being. she pushes my buttons enough  I went after her one day and needless to say was going to "spank her (_(_)" I just prayed thats all it was going to lead to ....it seems we have to go out of our way for her , I remind her a lot this house doesn't resolve around her ....I really have been debating my next move to try to get through her head you must provide for your child not only in the financial dept but loving and caring and putting that child above everyone and everything else , The Father doesn't want anything to do with her , and it seems Jessica wants her youth back , Dr Phil My Husband (her father) and I were high school sweethearts married very young and both came from unstable households , we have 5 children together and worked hard to keeps us afloat , we aren't rich in our bank accounts but we  have owned everything we got by working our tails off because we choose to have children we solely have supported them and a good marriage of 21 yrs and still going . we are Proud of what we have and have not hidden the facts of what it cost to raise a child. and the sacrifices I made of not being able to do a tons of things because we couldn't ever afford a babysitter , I don't regret any of it , we choose to have children and took responsibility . I had to put my input in. this is something that battles this house, I value your Option and straight forward ways , and after this show , I have strength to hopefully battle this child straight .

Having our children back to back and them all being teenagers now ...I often wonder who we will be after the teenagers years are done . :)

Thank You Dr Phil!

 
May 17, 2007, 7:47 am CDT

Mary, a meddling mom

 

No, much worse.

 

She is  a mean, controlling, obsessive person with an obvious personality disorder.

 

Talking common sense to such a person will not work.  They are firmly fixed in their behaviors and beliefs.    This is not a normal person who simply needs to have the errors of her ways pointed out. 

 

Dr Phil, you need to call it for what it is.  The daughter needs to realize that mom has a pathological need to cause trouble and needs to minimize contact with her.

 

Norman

 
May 17, 2007, 7:56 am CDT

Amy

Amy is the most immature, disrespectful person I've ever seen. How dare she sit in her parents house and complain that she isn't treated like an adult?
Adults live in their own home -- they take care of their own children -- they pay their own bills -- they use reliable birth control if they don't have the energy or money to raise children.

Her tantrums and the way she talked to her mother would have been shameful in a twelve year-old.

She needs to grow up and quit talking about her "dreams." Once you've brought four innocent children into the world it's time to start thinking about what's best for them. Those children, and Amy's parents, might have dreams, too.
 
May 17, 2007, 8:04 am CDT

05/17 Meddling Moms

Quote From: ohdang13

You complain because your mom tells you what time to go to bed and how to raise your kids.  Well, here's a news flash for you... YOU LIVE IN YOUR MOTHERS HOME!!!!!  Your mom has every right to tell you what to do. You sponge off of your parents so the least you could do is follow some simple rules that your parents have for THEIR home.  The key word is THEIR home. Not your home. If you want to sleep all day and be a leach on society then move out and get your own place...DUH!!!!!  But the fact is, if you live in someone elses home you follow their rules!

 

I think your mom should take away your kids and kick you out on the street! 

 

And let me ask you this...Why did you have kids anyway????  I always thought people like you should have to apply for a license before being allowed to reproduce!!!  That's all this country needs is one more lazy, wellfare mom to teach her kids how to be leaches on this countries system. GOOD JOB MOM!!!! 

 

You are a true waste of space and air!

Well Said!!!!!!!!  If you have four children under the age of four you cannot be out partying all night and sleeping all day!  As long as Amy's mom is paying her bills, she has every right to set the rules for her house.  I think her mom should go for custody of the children and boot Amy's butt to the curb!!!!!!!!!
 
May 17, 2007, 8:38 am CDT

That is my daughter

I am the mother of 3, 31, 21, 18. My 21 year old just announced she is pregnant. The father has moved on. She lives at home and does have a job but is always broke and I usually have to help her out. She is lazy at home, sleeps all the time does nothing to help out ,any time you say anything to her she throws a tantrum and leaves just like the girl on the show . I couldn't believe my eyes that was my daughter. My husband an I argue all the time about how to deal with her. He is always quoting Dr. Phil "She has to be held accountabe for her actions". But I allways worry about her and now the baby. HELP 
 
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