Topic : Coping with Stress

I'm exteremely streesed out Ihave no money to put gas in my car and it's low again for the umteenth time and it's getting harder and harder everyday not to just want to scream and cry out all the time this christmas will be marked by saddness , frustration and stress with everyone else being happy it's kinda lonely here no would stop for me when I broke down and no-one cares

 I had to stop teaching after eight years because of my med cond.  Last summer I spent 3 month's in the hospital with nothing to eat or drink for 80 days - had to learn how to again.  I have been dealing with this for over 24 years.  It really s--ks somedays but we have to rise to the challenge.  As for your problem with Xmas - Can you make things for your family and start a new family tradition?  I use to give my kids coupon books with things they liked to do with me or chores they wanted to skip for one day a month.  Extra 1/2 hour @ bedtime, playing a board game they already have, special meal, or anything you can think of that they would like.  Make a photo album with your pics as a project, pick up a puzzle @ good will and work on it together.  Whatever you do keep your family close and let them know how you are feeling.  Talk with people and be as open as you can.  Go on other boards for your illness it really helps to know that you are not alone in your fight.   And most importantly TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME!  

I have been fighting a custody battle for five years and finally there is a calm in the air.  I have such an anxiety lately about not having my child as much, as I had planned when I had him, that now that I have calmed down I need to figure out what to do with my time and how do I get myself back?  How do I stay positive?    

I'd like to introduce myself. My name is Tiff. I'm 33yrs. old, married mother of 2. I'm finally happy with my life and myself! 

Ever since I was a little girl, I would get teased. At first, it was by my sister, normal right??? Then as I got older, there were kids at school, on the bus, in the neihborhood.... Oh- then there were teachers! I actually had a teacher say to me one year that he was gonna pass my government test, just because he didn't want to see my face in his class no more! He took me out in the hall and not only said that, but that I'd never make it anywhere because I was too stupid, and that I'd probably never get married either, because I was too ugly! Then, there was my grandmother that I had to deal with growing up! She favored my cousin over me and was not affraid to show it when ever my parents would leave me at her house for a while! She'd take my cousin off into the other room for their weekly chats (which I was not allowed to attend), Then, she get candy, and litlle toys that my grandmother would buy only for her! Also, I've had bosses treat me bad!  

I remember interviewing for this job one time, and the dentist had me there to help out for the day. I had told him on the phone that I had never had any training in dental asst. yet, but he said that that didn't matter, that he basically wanted to see how I interacted around people. (See if I was a People Person).  

Anyway, the day started out ok, until the other assistant left for the day! Here I was trying to assist this dentist, not knowing anything about this job. Well, needless to say, he was screaming at me, because nothing was getting done right, or handed to him fast enough, or corectly, ect, ect ect.... 

Well, Dah!!!  Of course that was going to happen! I had no idea to what I was doing, I mean come on now!!! How was I supposed to know what a football carver was???   

Before I left, he took me into his office. He sat down in his chair while I stood there... Then He looked at me and said that I should seriously think about starting a different profession. 

I got soooooo mad at him, that I immediatly went to school, got my certification and with honor roll, became a dental assistant!!! I was so proud of myself.. But there was alot of work still to be done! 

To cut to the chase, I changed dentists almost every year for 5yrs.! and Finally got myself fired, but not for slacking off,,,, oh no! I was fired for having a baby!  

Then my mother past away a few yrs back, and that's when I swore no more! That I was gonna take care of myself!  

It took me over 2yrs, but I finally stepped up to my husband and told him no more mental abuse! that I was leaving! It took him awhlie but finally believed me. That was over 2yrs ago, and Wer'e still married. Yes He changed, not only for me but more importantly, for himself!!! Now he's an excellent husband and father! I still have to work on my patience level with my kids..... But that's a whole nother story... Maybe some other time.... 

But one more thing that I did want to mention, was that all through high school the "mean girls" would bully me. They would call me ugly and worthless.... 

I just had a 15th year reunion, last month. I'd never gone before, but this time I felt like I needed to do this for myself to see if I was really heeled of the past, so I went... I walked in with my head held high, proud of my life, and how it's turned out. I looked around the room, expecting to feel the fear, and intimatation, like before, but I didn't! I felt strong! And Confident! Absolutley no pain!!!  

And even though only 2 people said hi to me the whole night, My husband and I took advantage of the situation, and danced the night away! And I looked stunning! I was in this real sexy little dress that was form fitting, low neck line, spaggetti straps, and almost backless! I had my hair in an updo. When I'm done up, I realy am pretty! Other wise, you catch me in sweats and my hair in a ponytail, and I'm a scarey sight!!! LOL!!!  

Well, the other girls, had on dress pants and real plain looking tops. They didn't even bother to do anything with their hair. This was at a Country Club! They could atleast done something with their hair, I don't know. 

So, if you're feeling low about yourself, know that I've been there, and also know that nobody else can tell you that you're worth it, it has to be heard from you! You have to listen to your inner self, it's talking, you just need to hear it! When you do, your whole life can turn around! I'm living proof! I'm living the life I always wanted, but didn't think that I desirved it, or that I wasn't or would never be good enough to have it! 

But that's just not true! And you can have what you want too. Good luck everyone! I wish you all the best in the holiday season! I hope that we all can embrase ourselves, for the day and know that each one of us is special, and unique, and nobody can be who we are, because we are who we are!  (make sense) 

Merry Christmas Everyone!!!! 

~~~Hugs~~~~ 

Tiff 

  

I have been coming to this board for quite sometime and  have yet to receive any opinions or support from any one here it seems like everyone here is to into conversations about everyone else but me why is that ? I have been dealing with stress so much that it has begun to take it's toll literally speaking and I have begun to feel lost and incomplete  in this area   and no one here seems to care

Hello helpless, 

  

I think you're right, I guess it's in the nature of people to look at their own problems first. But if you like, I will visit this board regularly and try to help you a bit. In my country (The Netherlands) i'm a certified stress counsellor. 

  

Greetings, Mikao 

Miako, great can you help me ? I see that you said you are a registered counselor  please help this stress is enormous I deal with it every single day and day after day it only seems to grow bigger and bigger and it seems never ending  I do not know what to do or who I can turn to becuase you are the only one so far who has awnsered my post  so can you help me?

Hi Helpless, 

  

I browsed a little through the messages to see if i could find out a little more about you. The things that I know about you from the messages, is that you are disabled, and that you have severe money problems that give you a lot of stress. 

I need a bit more information to be able to understand your whole situation. What's your disability? From what money do you live now? I don't mean the amount; that is none of my business. I mean where you get it from. Apparently you don't work at the moment, right? 

  

Mikao 

I really don't think it's that no one cares I really feel like most people that are coping with stress are coming to this message board to get answers.  Like myself I have not received any answers and I really think that this is the wrong place to get the help that we need to move forward.  Anyone can give you advice but it's you that needs to change the way you feel.  I really do not know what your dealing with when it comes to stress but you need to look at all the areas in your life that has stress in it and decide if all the stress is really yours to have.  What can you let go of and what can you work on to lessen the way you feel.  I'm really not one to give advice because I'm a fork in the road too but I'm looking into different things that I am interested in and I need to make a dicision to choose something that will change the way I live and feel.  I hope this helps alittle but please try to look into yourself before you take my advise or others.