Topic : Coping with Stress

Quote From: carrierpjn

I really don't think it's that no one cares I really feel like most people that are coping with stress are coming to this message board to get answers.  Like myself I have not received any answers and I really think that this is the wrong place to get the help that we need to move forward.  Anyone can give you advice but it's you that needs to change the way you feel.  I really do not know what your dealing with when it comes to stress but you need to look at all the areas in your life that has stress in it and decide if all the stress is really yours to have.  What can you let go of and what can you work on to lessen the way you feel.  I'm really not one to give advice because I'm a fork in the road too but I'm looking into different things that I am interested in and I need to make a dicision to choose something that will change the way I live and feel.  I hope this helps alittle but please try to look into yourself before you take my advise or others.    

Quote From: mikao2603

Hi Helpless, 

  

I browsed a little through the messages to see if i could find out a little more about you. The things that I know about you from the messages, is that you are disabled, and that you have severe money problems that give you a lot of stress. 

I need a bit more information to be able to understand your whole situation. What's your disability? From what money do you live now? I don't mean the amount; that is none of my business. I mean where you get it from. Apparently you don't work at the moment, right? 

  

Mikao 

Quote From: helpless24

I get a monthly allowance from the people who are paying my rent and that goes for utilites and things I need after the utilites are paid  I am disabled from my mental health and physical health  conditions and right now the physical is the most stressful because my dr has not pin pointed the cause exactly yet and then there is the stress from having no money except for what I get for my utility allowance and once that's gone there is nothing left I 'm lucky if I get maybe ten dollars for gas for my car with the way gas prices are that's not a whole lot these day's  and I also have alot of other issues going on which in them selves cause a greaty deal  of stress I hope this helps you a tiny bit

Quote From: mikao2603

it seems that the lack of money is causing you big problems. But don't forget your other issues too. Right now, it seems to me that your health is giving your problems to get a job. Is that physical disability a permanent one of temporary?  I mean, I myself have spina bifida. that is a permanent disability, nothing can be done about it. How is that in your case? Please be more open about it so that we both know what we are talking about here. Also, I'd like to know more about what you mean with your mental health (sorry if my English is a bit crummy, it's not my first language)  

  

Mikao 

Quote From: helpless24

What I mean with my mental health is I have been diagnosed with a long mental illness and the disabiltiy from what I can tell is permanent and it seems nothing can be done for it right now anyway I recently have been suffering from severe left sided pain and weakness on my left side and also my back is in severe pain as well from various accidents to having a needle inserted to check for cancer at age 19 and mind you I was apassanger in the accidents Is this what you needed? or do you need more let me know

Quote From: mikao2603

Thank you, that's all i need to know for the moment. I wanted to know this to get a better idea of your limitations, that's all. As you may understand, I cannot solve your money problems. You have to do that yourself, but maybe we can figure out together a good way to do that. What options / activities did you consider or do so far to get  a job? Or is it entirely impossible?

Quote From: helpless24

It's entirely immpossible for me to work and I have considered many options from filing bankruptcy togoing to a credit agency to get help and attempt to make payments which as you can tell by now is nearly immpossible given my finacial standings at the moment  I have thought of everything and I realize that no one can help with my monitary issues but it is nice to get some feedback and pertaint info on the issues at hand also I have filed for SSI and I am still waiting to hear from them

Quote From: mikao2603

You're right unfortunately, that people online here can't help with the money issue. However, it's good that you looked at all the options. So you're obviously a person that does not give up easily. which is very good. What is SSI? Sorry i'm Dutch :-) 

  

Quote From: helpless24

SSI is Socail Security Income or SSDI Socail Security Disability either way it still is the same thing it's okay I understand your confusion though. You have been very helpful and I would like more feedback form you on any other questions you might have for me

Quote From: mikao2603

Thanks for pointing that out to me; it's a lot easier if we both talk about the same. I have been in the same horrible financial situation as you are. And although i'm a certified counsellor now, i'm still in that situation although it has improved a little bit. I have my own little practice now, but I started that out of a SSI situation. So you can imagine that I have a big debt on my head now :-)  

What I did when I was having such horrible financial situation, was focussing on other things. I found out that if I was always busy with money, that I had a horrible time every day again. Don't get me wrong; I did not put my head in the sand, but I just tried to do some things that I liked just to get those problems out of my mind for a while. Mostly it were simple things like reading books, watching Oprah or Dr. Phil, listening music, etc. This did not solve my problem but I found some mental rest for a while. 

When it came to the finances, I tried to balance things as good as possible. I had prescriptions to some computer magazines. I got rid of them. I even stopped the TV-guide prescription. Those seem small things but can help you on a longer term. I think it is important to not make the situation worse than it is now. Closely look at what is coming in on a month and what is going out. It gives you a idea where it goes wrong. I do understand that your income is extremely low, I completely get that. But maybe you can find things that you can do to make the situation stable, and not worse every month. 

  

Maybe a very hard and ugly question: how do you find it that other people can spend a lot more without a problem? Do you find it ok? Does it make you jealous? I want to know because I can find out then what's behind the feeling you have. I know that not having a lot of money makes one sad, but the reason for the sadness can be different for any other person, even if the problem is the same. Sorry for that question, but when it comes to that, my way of working is much like Dr. Phil's: i'm telling it like it is. :-) 

  

Mikao