Topic : Coping with Stress

I read your message and I know what you are going through I had a full time job a 8 year old to take care of and i studied at university on line at night, full time university so a total of work and univerisity i was given 60 hours a week including weekends, that i got anxiety and i had medication to take to sleep nights, I passed through that, the best advise i can give you is decrease the amount of courses if possible even if it takes you longer time to graduate who cares?? we have all our lives, promise yourself that you will take one day for yourself, no phones no friends no dinners no booze, you count, you come first you know your strenght, i am 40 years old i was still attending university to always improve myself, it is never to late for your dream to come true but if your mind is not at rest then you will fall, What i did i went to a monestary i know this sounds weird but i did it, i went on a weekend retreat no phones no tv nothing not even speaking to someone and that was my time with myself , i walked in the woods slept in the after noon and wrote poetry. and I went to pray for strenght and courage, get away never say you are whining, or you know make a promise go once a year and help the poor for a full day, i guarantee you giving you will receive, I received, I will pray for you that you will overcome the mountain which faces you from time to time, best of luck

Sandra

I read your arctical, well the best advise to my knowledge first he betrayed your trust, yes you are married to death do you part but there are limits, I know what it is like to live with anger and hatred, but this will cause you health problems trust me anger is like cancer and that is what i am living today, peace and forgiveness is the answer, The question i will ask you do you still love him? if you hesitate for one second then you still do. Never give up hope, there is help out there i saw it with my own eyes, it is a right now the biggest dark hole you are in which no latter can be tall enough. all the fraud comes with alcohol you must be sure he is not taking drugs that amount of money i would question seriously the matter. The second question are you safe? If you have to declare bankruptcy, i feel sorry for you because your credit will be finished for years. It is not easy but we all make big mistakes the reason unknown, He must be unhappy or cannot face something from his childhood, or lived in the same enviroment when he was young, I always say we can help eachother if the other wants to but NEVER NEVER loose your respect or the good person you are inside your soul. If you cannot forgive and hate him then leave him and get social aid. Find work I do not know if you work, but work keeps our independance, do you have children? do you want your children to grow in an enviroment of a drunk daddy. They suffer for our mistakes, think of those questions and write back to me. best of luck, Believe me prayer will help god will send strength.

My 9 year old daughter is a great girl. Very kind and respectful. I need help with some ways to make her focus in school and at home. You can talk to her and you think that she is soaking up every word, but ask her to repeat any of what you said and she can tell you nothing. Her school work is terriable.(3 F's to 1 or2 B and C) it is simple things that she misses. You can tell it is not paying attention, or should I say  she can't focus. She says she is doing her best but I know she is not and so does her teacher.She knows how to follow directions but always puts her own spin on it, so it's to me she did not follow directions. My problem, I have taken all the joy out of her life. No phone, no tv, no radio and even spanked her. she will bring me her papers and take her punishment. I feel like giving up but know  I can't do that. I have rewarded her for good grades

PLEASE HELP ME. JUST LET ME KNOW I M NOT ALONE!!!!  Her bio mother did heavy drugs when she was pregnant with her. They said that some side effects could show up later in life. I'm assuming her focusing problem is a side effect. No one can like being in trrouble as much as she is. I just need some possive advice     thank you  janey

Dear Concerned Mother Janey,

I can relate to your story, even though I am not a mom. My younger brother had problems in school: He got bad grades, could not sit and listen to the teacher, but was moving constantly, and teachers did not know how to handle it, causing them to get into fights with him. This started in primary school, when he too was about 9 years old. Only half way down secondary school (at the age of about 14/ 15) he was diagnosed with an attention disorder (with some symptoms of hyperactivity) and was put on medication, after which his study behaviour got much better. He started getting good grades, was able to focus when doing homework, and not move in class. However, his self-esteem is at an all time low, he distrusts anyone who even vaguely could be a teacher, he hates school with a passion, and he has a diploma at a lower level than he actually could have had, causing him to be bored at work and school now. I am telling you this story, because I really think it is important that you get this sorted out right now. As BF14428 (sorry, do not know your name) already said, get her tested. Go to the school and talk to the teacher, perhaps you can work out a solution together. At least try to keep up the rewarding for good grades, but also for other good behaviour: You said she is kind and respectful, those are very valuable characteristics, you can also reward her for that... that way, hopefully, her self-esteem will not go down too much. Further, from your story it seems she was adopted. Did you talk about this with her? Perhaps it is bothering her in some way or another...

Wishing you all the best!

Hoppe

Well yeah I just went to the doctor last week and found out that I weigh 130 with my clothes on. Well yeah so my doctor told me with out them on I weigh 127.0 she said my weight I am suppose to weigh is in the 120 range. Well yeah when she told me I weighed 127.0 I thought that was good cause she told me it was. Well then she told me I could loose 5 or 6 pounds which I don't get but yeah. Anyway well I am 5' 3'' in a quarter and i'm 17 years old and a senior in high school!!! Well yeah let me know what you think!!!

Thanks

Whitney