Dr. Phil.com - Messageboards - Coping with Stress

User Mood
Scared

Message Emote
hopeful

June 22, 2007, 11:51 am PDT

Look at the past and ask yourself.....

Quote From: tryingtocope

Dear you tryingtocope, i am a very jaelous* woman,sorry my english writing,i am Dutch-speaking,but any way....... i red your story of you and your husband.It is true and right that you feel decieved but..... for this a divorce, NO WAY, in my opinion.Look in the past to what he has done for you, he did help you with your mother and your daughter, and it is not his child,is it? You have been happy together,yes? So, try to think in this way and it may easy your pain a bit and save your marriage. so here we go......... First,he is older than you and men of his age have to try out,if they are still attractive to other women. Some are changing their hairstyle,clothing etc....Some start drinking.....But as i feel in your message, i don't have the feeling that this the case.First of all,he went there because of his friend going there.Men want to look tuff* and go along without thinking of the concequences.But anyway, i don't think, your husband was out to cheat on you at all.Maybe he had a couple of drinks etc. But know too that these women( and i am sorry to say so to you, i admire their work because it is the oldest job in the world and if they didn't exist, more passionmurders would happen for sure.My thinking) but anyway,these women are good as it come to the matter of seducing* a man and you can turn the world or it can stop turning it,but a man is till a man,few exception are not. I do not aproof* of his behaviour but as i was reading your message, i felt that he is truly sorry for it. As for you saying,"you want to get even,as you are a beautifull woman, DON'T! It will haunt you later on and you don't really want to anyway and it is not a solution.Be patient with yourself and him.The trust is broken for now but wait a year or so, ask around, if he did it before but please talk to him, explain your feelings to him,your anger, try more therapy and in the end, you may be able to forgive him for his mistake.And if you have a fight, don't bring the issue every time up, because it is not at that moment the cause of your fight.Do you know what i mean? And also, if everytime, you bring it up, it will push him away further from you and so maybe again in the arms of somebody else. As for talking about it, try a moment when you are both calm and open for conversation,not fighting.Ask him why, how,what he did with her,was it different and so on.I know, it may be to hard asking this but as you can open him up by talking calmly abouth it,maybe you will find out,that it didn't mean anything to him,maybe he was missing you in these days, he was gone.Remember,he did not want to go in the first place, if i did understand it right*?And if he tells you something abouth the sex with her,before accusing him, talk and think, that you maybe learn something and maybe enjoy it with him.I know ,it seam to sound that i want to defend him,NO WAY. I just want to try to save your mariage by looking at the issue in an other way.Talk to him please,but calmly and without accusations.Tell him before starting talking to him,you want to understand why he did it.Please,try,it is also for your own good health,because it will make you sick because it stays in your head.I will look forward for a respond of you,any kind of respons,but try.Sincerely,simonecornelia.PS You can also tell your feelings to me, i will always respond.Take care.X

Read Replies to this Message

sunshine80

User Mood
Weird

Message Emote

June 23, 2007, 9:37 pm PDT

Try a pain and suffering approach

Quote From: gimpynan

I have been an epileptic since I was a Toddler. Since then, I have had been suggested to get a full lobotomy when I was 18. "NOT"!

I had a right occipital lobectomy in 1989. I was 28 yrs old. That helped for 1 1/2 yrs. Then my seizures started back up. I had received a vagal nerve stimulator just 5 yrs ago. I received my first seizure response dog in 2004.

I went to see a "Specialist" about a new drug study. While getting tested for approval, I was told my seizures were non epileptic type seizures. And then in one full breath said" You do not have epileptic type seizures, never had, never will & don't even consider it!"

This dr. told me I use my SZ dogas a crutch and i should return him to the school! "NOT"

He then told my neurolgist to start taking me off my meds. That was in June of 2005. In Dec of that year, I had a 3 - 4 hour true epileptic seizure. My wife, Millie, was told I probably won't make it through the night. They, The ER physicans were able to stop them by either placing me on a ventilator 3x's or placing me in a coma, 3x's too.

Both Millie and myself are very confused about all this. My Sz resp. dog, does detect the pseudo types. But knows something is wrong.

Our hole life was turned upside by this one dr. My whole left side of my body is affected more and more after every event. Alot of damage to my left side is done. Phys Therapy and occupational does help for that time. but results get set back after every seizure occurance.

My neurolgist placed me back on my AED's. But the damage is already done. And I could not find one single attorney to take my case. because it's seizure oriented and not a slam dunk win.

Millie & I need some assistance with answers and support.

Thank you for listening.

I had tried searching for an attorney but have been turned away by all. My 2 yr. time frme is now expired.

Anyone intersted in helping us cope and or understand, email:

rangers_rainbow@msn.com

Injury lawyers won't take the case? It should be a slam dunk. Doc made the wrong call. Doc took away your meds. You then had a near-death experience because of his bad call? Every single time, you get evn a mild one go back to the hospital, because it starts the time-period over. And gives you more ammo. Also try the pain-and suffering approach because this is obvious. I will certainly be praying for you and Millie for your health and to award you some compensation.

Read Replies to this Message

sunshine80

User Mood
Weird

Message Emote

June 23, 2007, 9:42 pm PDT

I am so sorry

Quote From: simonecornelia

Yes, i have been in therapy for that and abuse. I am done and over that a long time ago. But now i am not drowning from that. I f you look on the board messages (Living with chronicle pain), you will find me there more.But last time my PC refused to type more,because i wanted to answer your question "Can i say NO to asked help from others".Sorry, my English writing.I have (had) the same problem.When somebody asks for help, i can not say no but then they go too far.My home becomes their home.They come and go when it pleases them,eat my food, get their soft-drinks,beer or wine by themselves out of my refrigeratire* like it is the normal way of doing.It has been 2 months i have my labtop and they come and use it like it is from them. And i was (is) sick of it!!!!!!! So, now we solved the problem this way: 1. We all have our GSM now and mine is the head-phone,the matriarch-phone, so everybody must phone me now to ask when yhey MAY come and WHY. 2. If i am going to bed, they have to go,no more staying over on the coach,eating in the morning,take their shower and leave the rest for me.3. No more getting their soft-drinks or whatever themselfs and staying out of my kooler. 4. If they do not respect the new rules....OUT,friend or no friend!!!! Because these are NO friends at all, they want to pass their time and it don't cost them anything,no drinks,no heating,no light,no food. Since we have been doing that, i am winning over 300 dollar a month. And another thing is, i am very sick for the moment, flare-ups from my auto-imunediseases and guess what....nobody comes to clean my house or doing my laundry.....So yes, you can say and must say NO if you have to without feeling guilty.Now, i am depressed of having the pains but i will survive. But i do understand that some people here are feeling so down,they could leave this world, but please DO NOT! I have a sentence i always keep repeating to myself and it is : I HAVE SURVIVED YESTERDAY, SO I WILL TODAY BECAUSE THE SUN IS COMING UP TOO TOMORROW, IF I LIKE IT OR NOT. It was a sentence from an old man, he told me that when i was abouth 20 years old, i am 45 now.I still live because of him and those wise words.Sincerely,simonecornelia PS Keep in mind,dear friends,everything passes, and then you will look back and say, i have been through harder times than this.Love you all

Living with chronic pain must be horrible, and on top of it you have these poor excuses of people taking over your house! Let me think abou this for awhile and see if I can't come up with some good advice. ((((((((HUGS)))))))

Read Replies to this Message

simonecornelia

User Mood
Scared

Message Emote
confused

June 24, 2007, 6:57 pm PDT

Can you say NO now????

Quote From: sunshine80

Living with chronic pain must be horrible, and on top of it you have these poor excuses of people taking over your house! Let me think abou this for awhile and see if I can't come up with some good advice. ((((((((HUGS)))))))

Hello again, i hope that by my story, i could help you a bit by learing to say NO, i will not. Did it help? Living with chronic pain is a battle every day, over and over again and always hoping Tomorrow, maybe............. I have had people taking over my house and last saterday it was again like that, but it is like they don't get it,or do they. For example, a couple we know for a long time make an appointment to come to our home at 20.00PM.Ok. At that time they ask it is about 3.00PM. So i organize things that at 17.30PM I go to bed to take a nap due to my pain but also to be in less pain when they come at 20.00PM. I was almost asleep, my daughter, who was at home came in my bedroom and says : That couple is there! I look at the clock 18.00PM, 2 hours earlier.I Could not get out of my bed because of my pain and havy medication,and my husband was not home. He was infact getting our new car that we bought a couple of months ago,an expensive one.And the reason they would come, was to say hello and look at the new car at 20.00PM. So, at 18.00 PM, they were their, i was so upset and crying that i called him to my bedroom,wich i did not like in the first place and i told him:"Look, you said 20.00PM,not now.I can not stand up now, i have horrible pain and you don't send me a message so i could respond.He said: "i did call you but you didn't pick up, so we came".I was so angry and said that my house was not a Pigeon-house or bar.And then he answered: But SIS(he calls me that),you can sleep all you want.We will just read our e-mails and then we go.I was to faible to react, i just cried.So, he closed the door and went to the living-room. At 19.45PM, mu husband wakes me up and told me that they stayed untill 19.00PM and then left. And the joke of it all is that my daughter needed the labtop for her exams,so she had to study 1 hour longer than normal.I was so angry. At 20.00PM, guess, yes, no couple came to say hello or congratulate on the new car.She just needed the labtop.My daughter did a smart thing however, she never presented something to drink or eat that moment,just looking untill they would go.Good for her.So,this is one of the story's that happen here.It gives me stress,pain,hurt and sometimes words with my husband because of those situations and you know, we are so happely married for 20 years now.It is like they take profit from my situation being invalid and all. My husband went to talk with them that it is finished that way of coming and a couple of days ago they called to pick up a door for reparation to a store an drive him back tomorrowevening. He said yes.....The man of that couple was our friend before he met his wife,but when she wants something,it must be now,if you know what i mean.He was not like that before,she changed him. She was for a while also my housecleaning-lady till 2 weeks after New Year, she didn'i come anymore.I felt so hurt but he said it was his fault,so i forgave him again. She still asks to come and clean again but i can not accept, it did hurt me too much then.And also, if i say yes, they will infiltrate even more than now,i think. Now i have a new girl trough an agency and i am afraid to tell them.So is my husband,people say, throw them out but it is a long friendship gone then because of her and not because of him.Any advice on this one sunshine?????Sim

Read Replies to this Message

sunshine80

User Mood
Weird

Message Emote

June 24, 2007, 8:36 pm PDT

Goodness

Quote From: simonecornelia

Hello again, i hope that by my story, i could help you a bit by learing to say NO, i will not. Did it help? Living with chronic pain is a battle every day, over and over again and always hoping Tomorrow, maybe............. I have had people taking over my house and last saterday it was again like that, but it is like they don't get it,or do they. For example, a couple we know for a long time make an appointment to come to our home at 20.00PM.Ok. At that time they ask it is about 3.00PM. So i organize things that at 17.30PM I go to bed to take a nap due to my pain but also to be in less pain when they come at 20.00PM. I was almost asleep, my daughter, who was at home came in my bedroom and says : That couple is there! I look at the clock 18.00PM, 2 hours earlier.I Could not get out of my bed because of my pain and havy medication,and my husband was not home. He was infact getting our new car that we bought a couple of months ago,an expensive one.And the reason they would come, was to say hello and look at the new car at 20.00PM. So, at 18.00 PM, they were their, i was so upset and crying that i called him to my bedroom,wich i did not like in the first place and i told him:"Look, you said 20.00PM,not now.I can not stand up now, i have horrible pain and you don't send me a message so i could respond.He said: "i did call you but you didn't pick up, so we came".I was so angry and said that my house was not a Pigeon-house or bar.And then he answered: But SIS(he calls me that),you can sleep all you want.We will just read our e-mails and then we go.I was to faible to react, i just cried.So, he closed the door and went to the living-room. At 19.45PM, mu husband wakes me up and told me that they stayed untill 19.00PM and then left. And the joke of it all is that my daughter needed the labtop for her exams,so she had to study 1 hour longer than normal.I was so angry. At 20.00PM, guess, yes, no couple came to say hello or congratulate on the new car.She just needed the labtop.My daughter did a smart thing however, she never presented something to drink or eat that moment,just looking untill they would go.Good for her.So,this is one of the story's that happen here.It gives me stress,pain,hurt and sometimes words with my husband because of those situations and you know, we are so happely married for 20 years now.It is like they take profit from my situation being invalid and all. My husband went to talk with them that it is finished that way of coming and a couple of days ago they called to pick up a door for reparation to a store an drive him back tomorrowevening. He said yes.....The man of that couple was our friend before he met his wife,but when she wants something,it must be now,if you know what i mean.He was not like that before,she changed him. She was for a while also my housecleaning-lady till 2 weeks after New Year, she didn'i come anymore.I felt so hurt but he said it was his fault,so i forgave him again. She still asks to come and clean again but i can not accept, it did hurt me too much then.And also, if i say yes, they will infiltrate even more than now,i think. Now i have a new girl trough an agency and i am afraid to tell them.So is my husband,people say, throw them out but it is a long friendship gone then because of her and not because of him.Any advice on this one sunshine?????Sim

Have a family meeting. Husband children need to be firm in setting rules for your moochers. Daughter's exam comes before moochers' e-mail. If you can't get up, then your daughter needs to say that she needs the computer and her parents say that her schoolwork comes first. Call husband if necessary, but they must respect your rules. All guests can respect your rules or not come over.

Read Replies to this Message

gimpynan

User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote

July 1, 2007, 5:31 pm PDT

Psseudo Seizures

Quote From: sunshine80

Injury lawyers won't take the case? It should be a slam dunk. Doc made the wrong call. Doc took away your meds. You then had a near-death experience because of his bad call? Every single time, you get evn a mild one go back to the hospital, because it starts the time-period over. And gives you more ammo. Also try the pain-and suffering approach because this is obvious. I will certainly be praying for you and Millie for your health and to award you some compensation.

Sunshine,

Thank you very much for your thoughts. i hope that things start getting better. I know that this is really really taking a toll on Millie. I do not know if Dr. Phil could help with the understanding of this "forgotten" and "lost" disorder.

I am more concerned for Millie's state of mind than my own.

Eric

rangers_rainbow@msn.com

Millie

gimpynan@msn.com

Everyone : Feel free to email either or both of us if you can shed any light on this topic.

Read Replies to this Message

tmiller07

User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote

July 3, 2007, 5:16 am PDT

Stress, Anxiety, Pregnant, Benadryl?

I have a serious question. The other day disturbing news that my daughter (who has been with me primarily for 3 years, age 7 now and lived with me since a horrible seperation/divorce) would live temporary with her not so nice mental and emtional abusive father for the next few months. It's not premenant. Praise God! However, I'm 5 months pregnant and the night I found out I was a wreck. My heart was broken and I was under serious stress. I had not slept in 2 days prior to the horrific news, not eaten. I tried to eat, I had an awful headache and took 2 tylenol. I threw everything in my stomach including some blood about 1/2 hour later. My husband called my OBGYN and he recommended Benadryl. My husband drove to the store and returned and I took 2 tablets I felt better then dizzy and dozed off. I expierenced the most horrible nightmare about 3am, jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom as if I was looking for something and my husband said I was uncontrollable and talking fast and loud and I was hysterical and I felt like a zombie however I remember the dream very clearly. I layed back down on the bed fell back asleep and awoke like this again in a matter of an hour.

This nightmare was absoutley horrible. I have no history of mental illness. Could the medication triggered something that caused this horrific nightmare which seemed so real mixed with what I have expierenced from the abuse and anxiety of my ex-husband? I'm very concerned and will never take that medication again. Is it possible that what I expierenced mixed with the stress and anxiety I was already having caused this to happen? Keep in mind I take no other medications. My body/chemistry is very sensitive to anything that I have taken in the past and I'm going to talk with someone about this.

Read Replies to this Message

sunshine80

User Mood
Weird

Message Emote

July 5, 2007, 9:01 pm PDT

probably the meds

Quote From: tmiller07

I have a serious question. The other day disturbing news that my daughter (who has been with me primarily for 3 years, age 7 now and lived with me since a horrible seperation/divorce) would live temporary with her not so nice mental and emtional abusive father for the next few months. It's not premenant. Praise God! However, I'm 5 months pregnant and the night I found out I was a wreck. My heart was broken and I was under serious stress. I had not slept in 2 days prior to the horrific news, not eaten. I tried to eat, I had an awful headache and took 2 tylenol. I threw everything in my stomach including some blood about 1/2 hour later. My husband called my OBGYN and he recommended Benadryl. My husband drove to the store and returned and I took 2 tablets I felt better then dizzy and dozed off. I expierenced the most horrible nightmare about 3am, jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom as if I was looking for something and my husband said I was uncontrollable and talking fast and loud and I was hysterical and I felt like a zombie however I remember the dream very clearly. I layed back down on the bed fell back asleep and awoke like this again in a matter of an hour.

This nightmare was absoutley horrible. I have no history of mental illness. Could the medication triggered something that caused this horrific nightmare which seemed so real mixed with what I have expierenced from the abuse and anxiety of my ex-husband? I'm very concerned and will never take that medication again. Is it possible that what I expierenced mixed with the stress and anxiety I was already having caused this to happen? Keep in mind I take no other medications. My body/chemistry is very sensitive to anything that I have taken in the past and I'm going to talk with someone about this.

i bet the meds did it

Read Replies to this Message

jnc4everalways

User Mood
Stressed

Message Emote

August 1, 2007, 1:36 pm PDT

I have issues

I am a 20 year old female who has had a horrible childhood and I am afraid it is affecting my family. From the age of 10 years i had one parent my mother she was an alchoholic and a drug user. There are to many stories so lets just say I bascially was abused verbally and mentally every waking moment. My mother kept me out of school alot. I was also molested as a child from 2 people who were all family members. So from the age of 14 I have had a job trying to take care of her and the bills and my school work. When I turned 17 I met the love of my life I got pregnant and while I was pregnant my mother hit my two times over drugs. I have been out of my mothers house every since I was 17. My fiancee and I have been on our own and it is tough. We struggle with money and eveything. Just recently my dad had a Massive Stroke and a Massive Heartattack at the same time we are lucky he is alive. Three of my Uncles have died this year. My fiancee and I fight all the time we cant get along. I will say it is all my fault because it is i nag and nag it on. I explode over small things. I just cant help it or at least that is how I feel. If anyone can help I would love to get along with the love of my life again. I want all of the fussing to stop.

Read Replies to this Message

smsgthouse811

User Mood
Good

Message Emote
chillin'

August 1, 2007, 5:57 pm PDT

Coping with Stress

well i know i don't have to deal with the kind of stress that my mom and aunt deals with because I'm still a young adult but i do have stress and how i deal with it is exercise.

Read Replies to this Message

Message Boards

Topic : Coping with Stress

Look at the past and ask yourself.....

Try a pain and suffering approach

I am so sorry

Can you say NO now????

Goodness

Psseudo Seizures

Stress, Anxiety, Pregnant, Benadryl?

probably the meds

I have issues

Coping with Stress