Topic : Coping with Stress

Number of Replies: 345
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:52:50 am
Author : dataimport
Is stress ruining your life? Have you discovered great coping strategies or ways to reduce the anxiety of living? Don't be stressed, kick off your shoes and talk with others!

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June 24, 2007, 8:36 pm PDT

Goodness

Quote From: simonecornelia

Hello again, i hope that by my story, i could help you a bit by learing to say NO, i will not. Did it help? Living with chronic pain is a battle every day, over and over again and always hoping Tomorrow, maybe............. I have had people taking over my house and last saterday it was again like that, but it is like they don't get it,or do they. For example, a couple we know for a long time make an appointment to come to our home at 20.00PM.Ok. At that time they ask it is about 3.00PM. So i organize things that at 17.30PM I go to bed to take a nap due to my pain but also to be in less pain when they come at 20.00PM. I was almost asleep, my daughter, who was at home came in my bedroom and says : That couple is there! I look at the clock 18.00PM, 2 hours earlier.I Could not get out of my bed because of my pain and havy medication,and my husband was not home. He was infact getting our new car that we bought a couple of months ago,an expensive one.And the reason they would come, was to say hello and look at the new car at 20.00PM. So, at 18.00 PM, they were their, i was so upset and crying that i called him to my bedroom,wich i did not like in the first place and i told him:"Look, you said 20.00PM,not now.I can not stand up now, i have horrible pain and you don't send me a message so i could respond.He said: "i did call you but you didn't pick up, so we came".I was so angry and said that my house was not a Pigeon-house or bar.And then he answered: But SIS(he calls me that),you can sleep all you want.We will just read our e-mails and then we go.I was to faible to react, i just cried.So, he closed the door and went to the living-room. At 19.45PM, mu husband wakes me up and told me that they stayed untill 19.00PM and then left. And the joke of it all is that my daughter needed the labtop for her exams,so she had to study 1 hour longer than normal.I was so angry. At 20.00PM, guess, yes, no couple came to say hello or congratulate on the new car.She just needed the labtop.My daughter did a smart thing however, she never presented something to drink or eat that moment,just looking untill they would go.Good for her.So,this is one of the story's that happen here.It gives me stress,pain,hurt and sometimes words with my husband because of those situations and you know, we are so happely married for 20 years now.It is like they take profit from my situation  being invalid and all. My husband went to talk with them that it is finished that way of coming and a couple of days ago they called to pick up a door for reparation to a store an drive him back tomorrowevening. He said yes.....The man of that couple was our friend before he met his wife,but when she wants something,it must be now,if you know what i mean.He was not like that before,she changed him. She was for a while also my housecleaning-lady till 2 weeks after New Year, she didn'i come anymore.I felt so hurt but he said it was his fault,so i forgave him again. She still asks to come and clean again but i can not accept, it did hurt me too much then.And also, if i say yes, they will infiltrate even more than now,i think. Now i have a new girl trough an agency and i am afraid to tell them.So is my husband,people say, throw them out but it is a long friendship gone then because of her and not because of him.Any advice on this one sunshine?????Sim
Have a family meeting.  Husband children need to be firm in setting rules for your moochers.  Daughter's exam comes before moochers' e-mail.  If you can't get up, then your daughter needs to say that she needs the computer and her parents say that her schoolwork comes first.  Call husband if necessary, but they must respect your rules.  All guests can respect your rules or not come over.
 
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July 1, 2007, 5:31 pm PDT

Psseudo Seizures

Quote From: sunshine80

Injury lawyers won't take the case?  It should be a slam dunk.  Doc made the wrong call.  Doc took away your meds.  You then had a near-death experience because of his bad call?  Every single time, you get evn a mild one go back to the hospital, because it starts the time-period over.  And gives you more ammo.  Also try the pain-and suffering approach because this is obvious.  I will certainly be praying for you and Millie for your health and to award you some compensation.

Sunshine,

 

Thank you very much for your thoughts.  i hope that things start getting better. I know that this is really really taking a toll on Millie.  I do not know if Dr. Phil could help with the understanding of this "forgotten" and "lost" disorder.

 

I am more concerned for Millie's state of mind than my own.

 

Eric

rangers_rainbow@msn.com

 

Millie

gimpynan@msn.com

 

Everyone : Feel free to email either or both of us if you can shed any light on this topic.

 

 

 
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July 3, 2007, 5:16 am PDT

Stress, Anxiety, Pregnant, Benadryl?

I have a serious question. The other day disturbing news that my daughter (who has been with me primarily for 3 years, age 7 now and lived with me since a horrible seperation/divorce) would live temporary with her not so nice mental and emtional abusive father for the next few months. It's not premenant. Praise God! However, I'm 5 months pregnant and the night I found out I was a wreck. My heart was broken and I was under serious stress.  I had not slept in 2 days prior to the horrific news, not eaten. I tried to eat, I had an awful headache and took 2 tylenol. I threw everything in my stomach including some blood about 1/2 hour later. My husband called my OBGYN and he recommended Benadryl. My husband drove to the store and returned and I took 2 tablets I felt better then dizzy and dozed off. I expierenced the most horrible nightmare about 3am, jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom as if I was looking for something and my husband said I was uncontrollable and talking fast and loud and I was hysterical and I felt like a zombie however I remember the dream very clearly. I layed back down on the bed fell back asleep and awoke like this again in a matter of an hour.

This nightmare was absoutley horrible. I have no history of mental illness. Could the medication triggered something that caused this horrific nightmare which seemed so real mixed with what I have expierenced from the abuse and anxiety of my ex-husband? I'm very concerned and will never take that medication again. Is it possible that what I expierenced mixed with the stress and anxiety I was already having caused this to happen?  Keep in mind I take no other medications. My body/chemistry is very sensitive to anything that I have taken in the past and I'm going to talk with someone about this.

 
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July 5, 2007, 9:01 pm PDT

probably the meds

Quote From: tmiller07

I have a serious question. The other day disturbing news that my daughter (who has been with me primarily for 3 years, age 7 now and lived with me since a horrible seperation/divorce) would live temporary with her not so nice mental and emtional abusive father for the next few months. It's not premenant. Praise God! However, I'm 5 months pregnant and the night I found out I was a wreck. My heart was broken and I was under serious stress.  I had not slept in 2 days prior to the horrific news, not eaten. I tried to eat, I had an awful headache and took 2 tylenol. I threw everything in my stomach including some blood about 1/2 hour later. My husband called my OBGYN and he recommended Benadryl. My husband drove to the store and returned and I took 2 tablets I felt better then dizzy and dozed off. I expierenced the most horrible nightmare about 3am, jumped out of bed, ran to the bathroom as if I was looking for something and my husband said I was uncontrollable and talking fast and loud and I was hysterical and I felt like a zombie however I remember the dream very clearly. I layed back down on the bed fell back asleep and awoke like this again in a matter of an hour.

This nightmare was absoutley horrible. I have no history of mental illness. Could the medication triggered something that caused this horrific nightmare which seemed so real mixed with what I have expierenced from the abuse and anxiety of my ex-husband? I'm very concerned and will never take that medication again. Is it possible that what I expierenced mixed with the stress and anxiety I was already having caused this to happen?  Keep in mind I take no other medications. My body/chemistry is very sensitive to anything that I have taken in the past and I'm going to talk with someone about this.

i bet the meds did it
 
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August 1, 2007, 1:36 pm PDT

I have issues

I am a 20 year old female who has had a horrible childhood and I am afraid it is affecting my family. From the age of 10 years i had one parent my mother she was an alchoholic and a drug user. There are to many stories so lets just say I bascially was abused verbally and mentally every waking moment. My mother kept me out of school alot. I was also molested as a child from 2 people who were all family members. So from the age of 14 I have had a job trying to take care of her and the bills and my school work. When I turned 17 I met the love of my life I got pregnant and while I was pregnant my mother hit my two times over drugs. I have been out of my mothers house every since I was 17. My fiancee and I have been on our own and it is tough. We struggle with money and eveything. Just recently my dad had a Massive Stroke and a Massive Heartattack at the same time we are lucky he is alive. Three of my Uncles have died this year. My fiancee and I fight all the time we cant get along. I will say it is all my fault because it is i nag and nag it on. I explode over small things. I just cant help it or at least that is how I feel. If anyone can help I would love to get along with the love of my life again. I want all of the fussing to stop.
 
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chillin'
August 1, 2007, 5:57 pm PDT

Coping with Stress

 well i know i don't have to deal with the kind of stress that my mom and aunt deals with because I'm still a young adult but i do have stress and how i deal with it is exercise.
 
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August 4, 2007, 4:44 am PDT

depressed, angry, sad..all of the above

I have been in a relationship for 1.5yrs with a man who was going through a terrible divorce.  We started out as friends on a online service and took our time and became intimit.  We have been together 6 days a wk for 1.5 yrs.  We have a vacation planned for 1 wk starting on the 7/25.  on 7/13, he broke things off.  Said he didn't love me the way I deserve to be loved.  I will in 50 in sept., he has brought me back to the church, i love everything about him and us and can not get a good answer that satisfies me.  He wants to be friends, only, says we can't go back to the way it was, but he misses me and will not come to the house in fear he would want to stay.  He shows up places I am at and acts like nothing has happened.  Then it throws me for another loop.  Recently been to md for help and meds thanks to a very good friend.  I don't know if I can do this anymore, I am trying so hard to hold onto things, but it is hard.

My father died 2 yrs ago and firmly believed that Dad sent him to me.  Definately a person that I would never have thought that I would be with.  He is a very intelligent man, masters, church going, family oriented and had been married for 16yrs, one day his x just told him she doesn't love him anymore.

He is doing now the same thing to me that she did to him....and I keep telling him that I am not her.  I know I have heard of rebounds, but we are or where like one person, in everyway, we are like one another, except for this.  I just don't understand and don't know how to proceed.  He wants to be friends, I can't do that right now, I am so much in love with him and we talked of such a wonderful future together.  This took me totally by surprize, friends, family, co-workers, just couldn't believe it............and don't..........everyone feels as if their is something else going on and just can not get answers.

Please someone help me, my heart is so broken..........like never before.  Should I try my hardest to be a friend and perhaps that would rekindle things..............am I hoping to much that would happen............do I just stop talking to him...........I see him in church, we sing in a choir together and we have lots of friends together............I don't want to lose it all......I am losing me

 
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August 4, 2007, 4:35 pm PDT

Coping with stress

Quote From: tammyo1973

When my daughter was having a rough time with her bipolar, I realized I was stressing out but not doing anything for myself. I started exercising and have found it wonderful for both my health but I can pound away the thoughts while running or doing weight training. Also yoga is great. I cannot do all the funky poses BUT I do what I can and it is wonderful. When in a stressful situation we need to take time for ourselves.

Tammy

It is so critical to take care of our self when we have children or family members that are stressed.

Stress impacts every moment of our life in different ways. I think we can become to absorbed in someones else's emotion and need to separate. We still need to take that time for ourselves.

Tammy you reminded me when I went through a struggle with my son He is fantastic now and the time was difficult. I have never been so afraid or sad and I spent a few hours down at the beach just listening to the waves slap against the shore. I went for  a refreshing walk up and down to the beach for a week and in solitude I found better ways of communicating or handling things rather then being engulfed.

 

Lately a friend of mine burnt through a lot of stress and I found that I limited the visits and communication so that I would not be over involved just supportive. I felt much better and my friend made his own choices.

 

I prefer to process on my own and connect with my friends when I have done that. My friends are wonderful and I and they share but we like to keep our minds clear so that we can work and play together. Yet we share but maybe not the intensity of emotions.

 

It was refreshing to read your post and I just so agree that we need to take care of ourselves.

 
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August 14, 2007, 10:24 am PDT

how do i stop being so angry?

So, I need some advice. Over the years, once or twice I have been told that I over react to things. Now that I am a mom, work two jobs and have some of my husbands family living with me, I see opportunities to display this behavior more and more. I do understand that I may have some anger issues. I accept that responsibility, but now what? I believe I have also figured out the source of alot of my anger. My husbands 16 year old sister lives with us. And I get that because she is a teenager, her behavior may be a certain way, but I don't believe that gives her an excuse to be rude and disrespectful to me in my own house. The worse part is, she kinda uses this against me. I feel my husband defends her constantly, like he feels sorry for her for her age and her situation, though the situation was HER choice. To give a bit more of the story, she watches my kids for me so that I can work at night to help pay off some debt. I need her for this reason, so I feel she knows this and uses it against me. Like i have to do favors for her, because she watches my kids. unfortunately, this has caused stress in my marriage, which spills over into other parts of my life, such as work and my children. Bottom line, she isn't going any where anytime soon, so I need tool to deal with my anger. I don't want to blow things out of proportion all the time, but how do I calm down, when she pulls more crap. How do I let the small stuff go, but not continue to let her disrespect me and my home. And lastly, i should mention, my husband and i  have both talked to her about her behavior, but nothing ever changes, yet I am expected to not be so angry. I'm desperate for advice.
 
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August 26, 2007, 8:57 am PDT

Coping with Stress

Quote From: aprilmay25

What could you eliminate to make your life run smoother? I think we create our own stress. What do you think?
You cant dwell on stuff you had no control over. Why beat yourself up over it. Make a conscious effort to tell yourself I'm not going to fall subject to the things that happened in my life that i had no control over. Put your focus on things you enjoy and what makes you happy. Love yourself.
 

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