Topic : Coping with Stress

I have been reading some of the latest posts and I have gone past stress to another level and I have no idea where it comes from.  I have no idea when it will happen or why. 

Early on in my married life, my husband and I had some very rough times.  My husbands father died at the age of 49.  My husbands mother turned very nasty after that.  We lived in an area where the economy was very poor and over a span of 8 years my husband was laid off more than he wasn't.  We eventually had to move to another state to find work.  Our children were very little at the time and life was really hard.  Well.......we got through it, we are fine and our kids are grown and gone and have families of thier own now.  But about 2 years ago I went out to my pantry in the garage to get some canned goods and when I opened the door, there sat my 2 kids with tears in thier eyes saying, "I'm hungry mommy"  Like they were so many years ago.  Then in an instant they were gone.  I don't know where that came from.  I had not thought about this situation in a very long time.  I had a melt down right there in the garage.  The tears started flowing and I was very upset for a few minutes.  Then that was the last time that happened until about 4 months ago.  I went out early one morning to mow our lawn before I went to work.  I am riding around, thinking what a nice day it was (july) and listening to the sound of the mower drowned out all the other noises.  Again, out of no where I hear someone calling my name, I look around, thinking someone has stopped to visit me, what I saw was my grandmother who died almost 30 years ago standing in my driveway waving at me.  Then just like before, in an instant she was gone.  I had to stop mowing and go in the house for a few minutes, I was just blown away.  Then in the past couple of weeks I have been waking up in the middle of the night for no reason and I am so scared, my heart is racing and I am affraid to move.  I have to lay there for a few minutes and look around the room to make sure everything is alright.  Then it takes a while to go back to sleep. 

I don't know where this comes from.  I have no idea why my subconscience is digging up all this stuff.  It's very scarry and I am getting concerned.  I don't know if I need to go see a councelor and get this stuff off my mind, I'm not sure I would remember everything to get rid of it.  I just don't know what to do.  Any suggestions? 

Hi everyone! 

I don't know whether this is going to help anyone but I want to tell you that there's hope for you who can't deal with stress. But it takes time. 

In 2000 I started working at a big company. It was very, very stressful and I worked a lot of over-time. We had lunch break for an hour a day but during two years I think I used that whole time for approximately ten times. All the other days I took my lunch with me to my desk (where a lot of visitors came and the phone rang all the time) or I sat down for 15-20 minutes in the lunch room. In Sweden where I live people do generally take their lunch because we realize that it's important. I knew that as well but I felt that I didn't have the time to be away for an whole hour. 

The time went by and I felt worse and worse. I had big problems with my stomach and with migraine but I never staid at home. My temper was very bad. I couldn't control myself and I burst into tears several times at work. Sometimes I got furious (at home, not at work) and yelled for nothing. Afterwards I cried so much that I thought my body would break into pieces. 

Everybody knew my situation at work. It got worse all the time and I got more and more job. But my boss didn't do anything and I didn't tell exactly how I felt because I didn't want to complain. The person who had done my work before me hadn't had any problems. I didn't realize then that much had happened since I began. After two years I "hit the wall" as we say here. I don't know what you call it. But I was on a long term sick-leave because of stress. I hope I'll never experience that again becuse it was terrible. It took me one year and eight months before I started working full time again. I know that for some people it takes much longer. I've been "well" for almost a year and a half now but I don't cope with stress very well yet. It has been much better, but there's a long way left. 

When I get stressed I try to calm myself down and try to think that the stressful moment will pass. I have learned to listen to my body and I recognise the signs of stress. I know now that it doesn't help to be stressed. It will only slow me down. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Like I said, I have a long way left. But I'm sure that it will get better and better. 

To learn how to cope with stress I went to a therapist and she was a lot of help. I wouldn't be where I am today without her. Good luck to everyone who needs it! 

Maria 

Hi! 

Thanks for your answer! I think you were very lucky to have a supervisor who understood the problem. A good supervisor do! I hope I too have learnt my lesson and that I wont allow it to go that far anymore. 

Maria 

There are many things I do in coping with stress which I would love to share: 

1.  Call a friend or family member up and vent!  There's more room on the outside than the inside.  Don't bottle it up or it will hurt you! 

2.  Music therapy... listening to my favorite songs, both with and without words.  How I'd love to go to a U2 concert!  I love listening to live bands!  I also play the radio and my favorite tapes and CDs.  They say music helps distract the mind from pain and stress. 

3.  Hot water therapy:  Nothing feels better than a nice hot bath or shower!  Especially with music and candles! 

4.  Light therapy... I have gone to Wal-mart and ShopKo and have bought some of their cute light lamps.  Candles work too.  It helps to sooth one's mood. 

5.  Having fun!  Get some friends who will pester you if you don't spend time with them.  I've got a good handful of them, and when my pain gets severe, they come "pester me" and that distracts me from my pain, and brings up my spirits! 

6.  Get a hobby you really like and then share it with others. 

7.  Write a poem, a song, a story, or a letter.  When I get upset or stressed, my mind doesn't work as good as it should and confusion sets in.  I find that when I vent in writing, it helps me to get out the stress and it relieves me so much, especially if I share it with others that I trust. 

8.  Certain foods are serotonin enhancers... milk products, red meats, eggs, chocolate, etc.  Also, Vitamins help, like Vit E, Vit B complex, and Vit C... and multivitamins.  Just got to be careful though not to take too much of something.  Be sure to talk to your doc about this. 

9.  Exercise... I love going for bike rides or walks in the park, especially with friends, but also alone.  It feels good to be one with nature.  Doing some exercises, as well as being in a nice comfortable atmosphere, are key to dealing with stress. 

10.  Join a support group, and/or post on websites like this, which allow you to vent out your stress and relate with others. 

11.  Just remember that stress is temporary.  It comes and goes.  Knowing this brings me comfort! 

12.  Have a pet!  Pet therapy is one of the best therapies ever.  Animals are wonderful!  They love unconditionally. 

13.  Go for a long drive out in the country!  I play my music in my car and sing along to the songs while I'm going for a drive to get out of the stressful atmosphere.  We must place ourselves out of stressful atmosphers in order to relieve ourselves from stress.  Find some where or something to do to get out of the stressful atmosphere, and you'll be amazed how well this works! 

If you want to add to my list or comment, please do so! 

Yours truly, 

Kristie : ) 

fyte4acure 

I am new here. i feel the need to talk and this seems to be a safe place 

I have had an extremly stressful year.  

My whole life has been turned upside down. My parents have not died yet I grieve as I will never see them again. Memories have surfaced that explain a lot of things in my life such as sexual disfunction, eating disorders etc. My parents both sexually, physically and emotionally abused me and I am only beginning to deal with it. I have never talked to more lawyers, police etc then this year. I began a new job as did my husband, we have no money. Maritial stress with all that has happened with my family. Living in a constant state of anxiety, stress and sometimes emotional numbness. 

What do you do when life does this to you? How can I handle much more?