Hi,
Recently my girlfriend started studying at a television broadcasting company. Just a little while after she started studying there she became very moody and jumpy with me and in fact with everyone around her like parents, brother, but not with friends it seems. Now she claims that its stress because I DO know that her dad paid for her first course but after that he has a few times thrown at
her that he is NOT paying for a second one and that she must make a plan if she so wants to continue. She is 20 years old now. Birthday was quite recently. How can he tell that to her (20) like that. And the problem is he keeps throwing it at her. Although he himself has said that he will NOT have spent all the money on her courses that he has and not have her end up doing that type job. He has put her through a two year course at a known college which cost R30 000 a year. Thats R60 000. The courses she is doing now cost R5000 a month. He paid the first one. I think he possibly can pay the second one and I just yesterday found out that he told her mother that he doesn't want her to discontinue because he doesn't want to have spent all that money for nothing. PLUS things can change within a month and he might afterall have the money... you never know. And she gets distinctions left right and centre. She is amazing in what she does and she is intelligent and amazing! And I'm sure he KNOWS that. But then despite all the truth he knows, why does he put her through so much worry.
Anyway my point is that she claims this is all stress thats doing it to her. And I try to keep my cool forever, but its getting hard. She has said to me herself that she doesn't like the way she has been lately and she is going to change it, and yesterday she was the girl I fell in love with again, but today she is about three quarters back to where she was. She is NOT AT ALL the kind of girl that would cheat or lie to me and despite that I have taken the risk one time of asking her if there is someone else. But lets say she is in fact going through alot of stress, then I still do not understand this because all I am doing is being superly there for here and to love her and comfort her, but the way she acts pushes me away a bit or so it feels. But I don't back away because I give her support she needs. And when we are calm and together she is in a way her old normal self, but other than that she gets quite jumpy with me. This puts me through a big worry because I don't want her to break the relationship down because of something totally different.
The way I see it: She can have this tough road with me by her side to pick her up if she stumbles or she continues this and pushes me away and have the road alone. And when she succeeds in the end she would realise I am not by her side and be miserable again. While if I end the road along with her we can look back and say "Oh well we have made it! We stuck together in hard times and made it through!". THAT would be something to be proud of and what a love this would prove to be. The way things go at the moment makes me feel like she would distance everytime there is an issue while we are for instance married, and thats not the way its supposed to work. For better or for worse is how it works. We both also feel the same way about each other as far as NOT WANTING TO BE AWAY FROM EACH OTHER goes. I have given up in my life with trying again to love a woman because they always kill me in the end, but her, she is different, she has been since I met her, she is an angel and I will not live without her and she doesn't want to live without me. My life revolves around her and hers around me, despite the current situation thats a bit different. She is my life and I care for her deeply. I didn't want to in the beginning try going out with another woman, but something about her told me that maybe God finally answered my prayers and sent me what I need. So I gave in and gave a final last girl a chance. But I have never held back on her. I have always given all the love and everything I can. Love is the one thing that have hurt me many many times in my life, yet its the one thing I always run into open arms and full steam. I love her.
I don't know how the message board works really, meaning whether its just people talking to people or does Dr Phil himself take part in answering these messages. Cos I need help here. I want to know how I can handle this. Emails are welcome too.
