Topic : Coping with Stress

Why is it so dangerous to drive anymore? I can't believe how bad it's gotten.  It's like people have put on a blindfold and they just go out there and drive any way they want, not caring and not respecting other people on the road.  When you drive the speed limit they get pissed off, and either drive on your bumper or swerve around you and cut you off, almost hitting you on purpose.  It is so sad.  There is no consideration anymore.  No wonder people have road rage.  And they also don't have any consideration for pedestrians.  Forget about crossing the road in a crosswalk, they'll hit you, even if you have the green light, again on purpose.  It makes me sick!   

Stress, 

            There used to be a time when my mind was free. I had a good memory. Now sometimes I can't even remember my own Dr.s name. I can't remember anything good from my childhood. Even high school is all but a blurr. Is this a condition of depression/ stress. I have a very additive personality and get stuck on things or people like movie stars. I also have my rituals that I do. I convinced myself I am better because I fixed some over time. I used to wash my hands until they were raw. I do not now. I worry so much about all kinds of stuff that does not really matter to getting physically sick , and I get so stressed my chest and stomach feel like they will burst. I worry that I hurt my organs with a couple overdoses on pills many years ago. I hope to oneday know what normal is. 

                  deppstruck 

My (divorced) parents are both getting up in their years. Both of them are having a lot of problems with short term memory, especially my father. Dad (77) can forget things he was told or did, just minutes earlier and has started having trouble counting money. Mom (62) is pretty forgetful too but her problem may be more work-stress related than physiological. At this point, there is no danger to either. Mom is cognitively aware of her memory problem but she doesn't like to talk about it and often responds to the topic in denial and passive anger. Dad is usually not aware of his problem at all, although he catches himself once in a while and finds it amusing, failing and refusing to see the seriousness of it. If either of my parents could see themselves through my eyes and ears, they would be shocked and appalled at their conditions. I believe Mom would be willing to accept help for her condition, but I know my father would never seek or accept any help of any kind. He hates doctors and hasn't seen one in over thirty years. My parents are still a long way off from needing to go to a home or something like that, so I'm not even suggesting anything of the sort.

This problem is putting a lot of stress on me. I don't know how to cope with it. I become so frustrated and disgusted with their forgetfulness and absent-mindedness I just want to run to a hilltop somewhere and scream at the top of my lungs. Sometimes I can barely tolerate being around either of them. I know they can't help it. It's not their fault. It's really stressing me out though, and I don't how to deal with what it is doing to me.

My questions are: Do you have a senior family member with memory problems? If so, how do their memory problems effect YOU and how do YOU COPE with the mental and emotional strain it puts on you?    

 Stress seems to be my middle name these days. 

At the age of 28 I had to have a complete hysterectomy. 

I am now 32 and year by year have felt huge impacts. 

While I do take hormons and dont have hot flashes now. 

Its the other stuff that is really getting to me.  I am tired 

all the time and often find I dont have the energy or desire 

to do the simple things that I am required to do. I have 

four children ages 12 , 11, 8, 7, and I feel guilty for not 

having the get up and go. I have tried vitamins of all kinds. 

It seems the longer time goes by the worse I get. I am 

now starting to experiance extreem back pain and weight  

gain which is leading to depression.  I have tired talking 

to my doctor and he just doesnt seem to listen. Is there 

any  one out there with advice.  IS THERE LIFE AFTER A 

HYSTERECTOMY? 

I had an complete hysterectomy in 1989 so I was 35 when I had mine! 

Actually considering how I was feeling before I had the surgery after I'd healed from the surgery I felt great!   

What was hard and depressing were the mood swings, going through menopause forever....I still have hot flashes and contending with my own sexuality!  Which for me the hysterectomy cut my sex drive to almost zero even with hormones!  Getting all those things settled took more than a few years for me!  Yes I did start gaining weight after my hysterectomy! 

But to me, your exhaustion could be many things....but my first thought is it could be depression as well as some form of sleep disorder!  The pain in your back could be from lack of sleep or be causing you to not get enough sleep!  As well being unrested can cause you to be more stressed and more apt to depression!   

4 children is a large responsibility and stressful too....so you have alot on your plate1 

Let me give you a suggestion!  I have a pain syndrome which interupts my sleep....so I am pretty much exhausted all the time! 

Try this....make sure you are doing everything right as far as getting to bed at a decent time so you are getting at least 7 hours of sleep!  Limit your caffiene to the morning...caffeine can cause sleep disturbances..  

Now...try taking a benedryl/diphenhydramine about an hour to hour and a half before bedtime. ...Or you may want to try a tylenol pm tablet to help with your back and get you into a deeper sleep! 

Also limit your sugar/carbohydrate intake...you know sweets....as you may be crashing during the day with blood sugar dropping out on you! 

Also do take a Vitamin B stress tab twice daily.... 

Your metabolism has slowed and has changed since your hysterectomy!  Now is the time to watch your diet, get adequate rest, fluids, etc....take care of yourself now....and try to set up something fun to look forward to everyday with your family... 

Assign each child a day during the week to come up with a joke...include yourself! 

Have a game night! 

A movie night! 

A dress up day! 

Tea party night 

Let your children think of fun things to do! 

A cleaning race, etc. 

Everyday can feel like everyday...but you have to choose to enjoy the eveyday! 

I sure hope I have given you some ideas here! 

But try the sleep thing....and if none of this doesn't work...make sure you go to your doctor and get checked out! 

i believe stress is a problem with everyone it seems..we have very busy schedules,and we dont seem to take care of ourselves. we seem to always want to take care of everyone else and not give ourselves any time to feel good about ourselves.i do believe that if we smile and laugh more we can make our lives better..it does seem easier to frown and cry instead,when things arent going good.everyone seems to want to carry old baggage and not let things go.sometimes thats easier said then done too...i think we just cant be happy with what we got and make the best of it. we seem to always think that the grass is always greener on the other side..but,in the real world it realy isnt. ive decided in my life that i only get one chance so i want to make the best out of my life and in the process i hope to leave people with joy and hopefully not sorrow............we are human and do make mistakes....thats just enevitable..........IVE DECIDE TO LIVE,LOVE ,LAUGH,AND MOST OF ALL KEEP ON KEEPING ON....................JEANNIE  

I'm hoping someone will read or read and maybe even have some kind words... 

This thursday i have to go in for an operation to get skin cancers removed which are all on my face. I was born with a syndrome where even if i spend all day, EVERY day inside i will still get skin cancers, going out in the sun will only make them worse. Through-out my life (i'm 23) i've had countless operations and have had to deal with a whole new physical me everytime i wake up.  

From that i've grown a deep, DEEP fear of needles, hospitals, hospital beds and scars...  it only ever seems to get worse. I haven't had an operation in a few years, i decided to play the ignorant card and avoid the check-ups only for it to get much worse. Now knowing i have to go through the whole procedure again this week, i'm terrified. It's all i think about because it's all that i fear. I'm so stressed i've been getting rashes, i'm extremely tired and i'm always panicked... 

i don't know how to calm myself down.... i really don't want to make the doctors job harder than it already is but i know once i'm on that bed i'll be a crumbling and bawling mess. and how do i deal with a newly scarred up face again when i've just accepted the one i've got after 5 years? 

I'm crying just typing this. 

Obviously a very stressful situation. Try keeping something soothing and relaxing in the room with you like music or a cherished gift from a friend or family member. It might help to keep something relaxing with you whenever you can. You might also take something with you to keep you busy and keep your mind off what's going on like crossword puzzles or a deck of cards.  Take pen and paper with you so you can write letter to friends and family or just to write something only you will see. Try different breathing techniques designed to help you relax. You're probably thinking about it too much, so much that it's affecting your health. Don't worry about it so much. Find something to take your mind off it. Find a support group in your area. Ask your doctor if he/she knows about any support groups for people situations similar to yours. If you can't find one in person, surely one can be found online (in addition to this one). Also, your doctor might know of ways to cover your scars with makeup. However, you need to keep in mind who you are deep down. There's a whole lot more to you than just what you or others see on the outside. What really makes up who you are is all the things that aren't physical and can't be seen or touched. 

First you may want to call your doctor and see if you might get something to help calm your nerves! 

Second...rather than focusing on the pain you might focus on the fact that you got through the other experiences alright!  That you are here and soon will be through this as well! 

Third you might write down those fears you have and tear them to itty bittly pieces!  By this I mean take each fear apart! 

Let's say shots...no one likes shots.....they sting yes...but the pain usually is gone in short afterwards!   

What can I do to distract my mind while getting a shot? 

Perhaps thinking about the most lovely place you have ever been.  Or a clear crystal pool of water! 

I have found over the years with shots that the anticipation of them is far worse than the actual shot! 

Believe me, I've had plenty of them in the numerous surgeries I've had myself.  I learned to distract my mind! 

I also learned to be very candid with my doctor.  You should be now.  Doctors are not God's they are people and I am sure your doctor will understand your fears! 

The thing for you to do though is to not let your fears become phobias!   

Right now do things to distract the mind, relax the body and soothe your soul! 

Try not to count the days and hours!  Make plans for a great event when you get home....something to anticipate outside this experiences helps as well! 

So write down, 

When I get through this I am going to: 

You are in my prayers! 

I know what you are going through and that is how I got through my last surgery! 

blessings 

Kit