Topic : Coping with Stress

This is my first time writing on the message board. I will try to keep it short. I have had a very rough life and finally got things in control after being with someone for 10yrs then got married, well he cheated on me and we divorced in 2004. Well I finally found someone else he is wonderful and the best thing that has happened in my life. Well I will get on to the stress of my life things where going good I had a new relaitionship we decided to move in together I have a daughter who is now a Junior in High School. Well my boyfriends dad got sick October of 2006 we found out he had cancer and didnt have long to live the hospital admitted him for about a week and said he cant uphold any chemo or anything being 70, so they recommended we take him home with hospice so we did my boyfriend took leave from work (which was stressful because no income from him just me) and brought him to our house so he could take care of him. Well on November 8th he passed, now it has been hell because this man was my boyfriends dad and best friend.

My boyfriend and I have been stressed trying to deal with the will, debts and the property. there are 5 other kids in this family, but have never done anything for this man before he passed so of course they are doing nothing now. The man only had $5000.00 life insurance policy and had no insurances on loans or credit cards so now there are creditors after us because they want to get paid by his estate and the man had no money and was on Social Security. Then my daughters dad got arrested for charges of sexual assault on minors, my daughter is devasted. Its a long story well my daughter had to speak with the investigators because for a short time she lived with her dad and not me, when she talked to the investigators it has come out that she has been sexually and mentally abused not by her dad buy by her older brother, I am now devasted I never new anything. Now that this has all come out that she has held in for many years; my daughter is always angry she is always yelling at me hates me and I cant handle it anymore. Stressed to the max with my boyfriend and my daughter going into a depression state. I'm trying to hold down the home front but it really is tough sometimes. There is lots of details to the story but didnt want to bore anyone. STRESSED COMPLETELY

I've recently been diagnosed with Broken Heart Syndrome.....I've gone through months of depression, was even suicidal at one point.....I was told this usually happens after the death of a partener, in my case, it was a devasting break up.....I'm afraid to have medication it the house in case I have a severe dip in mood and judgement......I don't know what to do to get better.....any suggestions. I'm just plain worn out and so sad all the time.

Take a walk. Drink lots a water. Eat fresh things. Buy a fun work out video or go to the gym. Rent a funny movie. Take care of yourself. Remember Jesus loves you.

We are ALL God's Chosen 1, each and everyone of us, you are brilliant and precious in God's eyes !!!

Your story is anything but boring. You sound so sweet. Goodness Gracious! You give too much girl! ... a lot of yourself and your family to a boyfriend. Your boyfriend's siblings should have been responsible enough to care for their dying Dad without pulling you and your Jr. High daughter in to it, using your time and hard earned money that should be going to her , especially since you found out SHE was molested by her own brother. She needs some big time space! Take care of yourself. Think of yourself. Think of your daughter. You are responsible to her not your boyfriend. Your daughter needs you. I think that's why you posted this, right? You know in your heart she needs you. Did she know the man who died in your home before he moved in? That can be so scary to a young person much less all the other Hell SHE is going thru right now. Your boyfriend should understand how much she needs you alone right now. Sounds like your daughter needs some space for just you two. Honestly, I know you love him but can't you just date without living together for you and your daughter's sake/sanity just for now?  If the love is strong a couple years is nothing especially if you're not even 'breaking up' just living separately and dating to give your girl her space. Sounds kinda exciting if you make it that way. You only have a couple precious years left  with your girl before she goes out in to this 'mean ol' world' on her own. Take advantage of this time. SHE needs healing from her molestation. You are her saving grace right now. Even if she's acting otherwise. You are all she really has right now. Her Dad will never be the same in her mind either. It's like the Dad she loved died too.

Do you and your daughter ever have a moment alone where you could two coulld just go take a walk, just the two of you to make it extra special for her ??? Make it a point not to  talk about anything negative unless SHE wants to and w/o asking her is she wants to, just walk and enjoy the sounds of nature surrounding you both. Just let her know that you love her NO MATTER WHAT ever happens in her life, always, unconditionally. Tell her she will be a Mom one day and she will have the same kind of love for her daughter. Of course when and if she ever wants to talk about it, be sure to remind her that, NONE of it was HER FAULT. Just take a walk together. Does yor daughter have a camera? Maybe you two could find some signs of Spring together.

Remember Jesus loves you. We are all God's Chosen One, each and everyone of us are precious and beautiful in God's eyes.

I have lived long enough to know days when I thought there was very little to hope for.  I have been on the bottom of the ladder to security and happiness so often only a modicum of hope remained within me.

It wasn't really me that turned everything around.  I had hope and a God-fearing and God-respecting attitude, and life sort of straightened itself out after a lot of grief, pain, discomfort, and many trials.

My paraprhase of a quote is that "With God all things are possible."  Do what is right, if you don't know, ask a good person about what you are struggling with.

I may not be perfect, but I know this:  Many people help one on the way to a good life, but at the source is God.  I don't mean the God one encounters in Churces or even the current Bible.  I mean the real God that asks only that a person with problems have a passing or possibly outright thought he/she would like to be better, to have a little of what Christ had.  God will then act and before one knows it, what was wanted has happened, though it took a lot of trouble and nothing seemed to be going as one thought it should.

Kate304

Where are you now in you life? Please don't stop talking with people and close yourself up in a box. If not here find someone you can trust to help you get back into life. You are still alive. So there is more for you to do here. Look at yourself in the mirror....You are worthy of happiness! Remeber what Dr Phil says about our internal dialouge with our selves.    Do you like music?

Turn on something upbeat and dance dance dance until you fallout of breath. You can get through this dark tunnel one step at a time. But remeber you have to keep walking.    mb

I'm a 28 year old girl and I have for the past 5 years tried to find my self, basically grown up learned to be an adult. This sounds like what every girl at my age are going through ;-) however I pretty much had to grow up and handle adult emotion from the age of 5. At that age you just cope you don't know how and why, you just do. I just coped, I was lucky or some will call it blessed that I didn't make any huge mistakes or made any really wrong turns along the way. I did however at the age of 23 hit rock bottom with a stress related depression. The first step was to slow down but as with everything else its never just one thing that is the problem. So to get through it I had to confront ever good, bad and ugly thing that ever happen in my life. I'm through the worse part, I'm still learning and dealing with every day life and some of my bad habits from the past.

Right now I've run in to a question that I haven't been able to resolve in a way that I can get on with my life. Maybe someone in here can help me??!!

How do you stop obsessing, worrying and being scared of the future??? I'm afraid that I'll miss something or have to choose, basically because I feel like I've wasted a great deal of my 20's because of this depression. I feel like I've spent the time of my life where I should find out if i want a carrier, be a house wife or both. I also feel like I should have been spending the past 10 years looking for my potential husband, or at least figure out want kind of man I want to spent my life with. Figure out if I want kinds or not. The 20s is where you have fun and are allowed to make mistakes and learn from them, I feel like that experience has been stolen from me. I feel like I just woke up and found out that I'm 28 instead of 18 and now I have to catch up but at the same time I have to learn and experience what every one else experience at my age.

I know that the knowledge I have about my self and life because of the past 5 years isn't something you can buy for money. People spent their whole life finding that knowledge......but right now I just want to be a regular 28 year old girl.

How do I stop feeling like the past 10 years have been stolen from me, and how do I stop being afraid of the future.

The girl from Denmark