Topic : Self Image

I really wish I could look in the mirror and say, "I like you"  but, I can't.  I usually say, oh my god, you look so old and fat and puffy.  What happened to that person I use to know?  I really wish I could find some magic thing I could do to change this attitude I have.  It seems that all of a sudden ( in the last 2 years ) I changed--like overnight.  I aged so quickly that I am in shock.  I do have a 3 year old son.  I joined the gym, taking wellbutrin and getting therapy. What else can I do damnit!

I'm a big believer that we are limited by assumptions we never think to question and most of us have lots of assumptions about growing older and self-worth.  Here's a couple of thoughts: 

 

1) Make a list of everything you like about yourself.  Keep it handy and add to it every chance you get.

2) Make a list of things that make you smile or laugh and then no matter what else is going on in your life make a point to find ways to laugh or smile at least 3 times every day.

3) Every day write down 3 new things you are grateful for in your life.

 

Thing is, we get used to feeling a certain way and think it can't change unless our circumstances change.  But we really do have the choice of what we focus on and what importance we put on things.  One person will see gray hair and be  horrified seeing it as meaning he or she is no longer young.  Another person will see the gray hair and see it as hard earned proof of experience. 

 

My experience is that if we accept ourselves and honor all that is good within ourselves then we are more able to make changes.  If we are able to remember all the successes in our lives then we are more able to believe we can be successful NOW in making whatever changes we want to make.

 

I'm 55.  In the past few years I've made a lot of changes in my life--including a cross country trip to discover where I wanted to be.  What I'm finding is that the only true limits that exist are the ones I put on myself and I don't have to do that--or accept anyone else's vision of me or who they think I ought to be.  There is freedom in growing older if we choose to embrace it.

 

So one final suggestion:  What are your assumptions about yourself and which ones can you challenge TODAY?  What limits or expectations can you let go of?  You might be surprised at what you discover.  All my life I believed I was tone deaf and couldn't learn to play the violin.  I was 53 before I discovered neither was true.  What assumptions do you have about yourself that you could challenge?

 

Good luck.

 

I was going trhough a depresion, alone, no one wanted to help! I even called my step mother, all she had to say was, "well I gotta go now" and hung up and had the nerve to tell my dad that I was bitchy that day. What she did not realise(even thow I told her) was that I was suacidal, after I hung up, I walked to a brige to jump, but then tought about my kids, that I did not have a mother when I grew up and hated it, I did not want that for my kids, so I turned around went home and turned on the t.v., well there he was, talking about depression!! All his words made so much sense, I have never felt better in my life as I do now.

 

My marriage, my kids, myself, my life is so much better now!! I have watched him ever since and still get new ideas. He has helped me trough my marriage and for my kids..

 

hope this helps

 His advice has done me good
however, its still hard to enjoy what I look at in the mirror. Logicly  I know I'm not that bad looking, I am 115 pounds petite nice dark brown eyes and a golden tan and cute short brown hair. But I always find something wrong, my teeth stick out the wrong way or my eyebrows are too close together or my boobs are too small. I have BPD as well so this disorder really effects how I see myself. Its a mental problem, I'm on medication becauase I tried to commit suicide three times this month. Its helping, but my self image is lagging. Any advice? Anyone with BPD?
People often tell me how beautiful and young I am but I just don't believe it.

Maybe make a list of things that can make you smile--and use at least 3 of them every day.

 

Maybe make a list of things you LIKE about yourself--or would like if it were someone else with those qualities.

 

Maybe make a list of successes you've had in your life--even if they  just seem like little things to you.

 

Maybe make a list of things you could do for yourself that would be nice.

 

Maybe make a list of things you're grateful for and try to add 3 new things every day.

 

The more we focus on the good in ourselves and in our lives--however small those things might seem when we begin--the better we feel and the more good we discover.  At least that's been my experience and how I went from feeling really bad most of the time to being a fairly happy person these days and liking who I am.

hey guys i nead help iam between a rock and hard place  my teeth looks bad and kinda in pain i nead to go  to dentist but dont have the funds what should i do

Is there a dental school nearby?  Can you talk with a dentist and see if you could arrange a discount and/or a payment plan?  I know that dental insurance is absurdly expensive for individuals and often there is a one year waiting period on major work. 

What if you have two selves in you? The one is rather good and you like it. It is the one you show to the world. But, equally present, is the other self. The dark side of the moon. Nobody ever sees this side, but you. This part is so ugly, has got so many secrets and has done so many things, that if people who liked you were to see this self, they would run away from you.

 

What if the two selves form a unit - a unit called me? The me is split into two. The me that exist in other people, and the me that exist in myself. The me that exists in other people is the true me, but the me that exists in me has the ugly part in it - that is me as well. But I hide the dark me - the ugly parts. These are the things that disgust people and yet it's part of me. Like the moon has two sides, so do I. Both parts form the whole moon. The one side is pretty and lights up. The other part is cold, barren and has never been seen by anyone. It's where my demons hide.

 

I can't deny the fact that I both feel that I am worthy and inferior at the same time. If this makes any sense, you might understand the struggle I have daily (not suicidal though, not at all). If you think this is complete and utter junk, sorry.

I'm taller than 5' 0''. I have blue eyes and brownish blondish hair and it's a little bit past my shoulders. So yeah I want to get your guys opinion I went to the doctor and with my clothes that I wear everyday when I got weighed I weighed 130.0. But she said since I wear so much clothes that to subtract 3 pounds from that so I weigh 127.0. I asked her what my weight should be at for my height or whatever and she told me somewhere in the 120 range but she told me I could loose 5 or 6 pounds? Which I didn't get that but whatever. So yeah I basically have no self confidence and yeah I have been through lots of things through out my life and I got diagnosed with Depression last month which I am on medicine for and my Grandpa passed away last month so yeah. Anyway but yeah I don't think I am very pretty and my dad thinks I need to loose weight and that I am to fat and yeah everyone like my friends,teacher,and counselor at school say I am all skinny. So yeah I need some advice that would be awesome so if you have any advice or opinions please tell me them.

 

Thanks

MacaroniCheese