Topic : Self Image

I know how you feel. I am a burn victim. So i have scars on almost all of my body(80 %) Everyday i go to take a shower i will stand in front of the mirrior just hoping that i wake up from this nightmare that i call my life. I just hope that i will wake up and be perfect. But i know that it isnt possible because no one is perfect. I see my scars and i am so scared of what people will think about me and if they will turn on me because of what i may look like. any suggestions on how to fix my nightmare? 

*hugs* If people turn away from you, because of what you look like...its THEM with the problem, NOT YOU!! 

I have a physical disability, and am constantly being stared at, because of what I look like (or in my case, coz I use a wheelchair, not what I look like, in myself).  I have learnt not to let it bother me...if they want to, to use a strong word, reject you, or ostracise you.....let them....you will find that people who want to be in your life, will want you there, because of YOU, they will (and this is being honest, even tho you may find it hard to believe) not even notice your scars....if they are genuinely your friends. 

You have to learn to love yourself....hey, you SURVIVED....you are still living, you have as much right as the next person, to be happy...and if people dont allow you that freedom...well they arent worth it. 

Learn to love your scars (yeah, hard to imagine but it can be done)...your scars are your way of showing the world....hey, Im me, I survived this (whatever it is that happened to you)...I am not afraid to go out, and still be ME....be proud of who you are...you are YOU, you are not your scars! 

Be strong! 

Dear Blush, 

     Do you like Sara Evans (country singer)?  She sings a song that, I think, could answer your "If there's no such thing as perfect, why do we have to be?" question.  Here's a couple quotes, "It's only human to never be satisfied.  Well I guess that I'm as human as the one."  "I keep looking for something more.  I'm always wondering what's on the other side of number two door, because I keep looking for something more."  I really think you would get a kick out of that song! 

The only person we can ever change is ourselves, and we are affected by our environment whether in a positive manner or a negative.  So, if something painful happens we start to ask ourselves, "Well, would Johnny have called me if my hair was blonde?  Would I have gotten that second date with Billy if I was a cup size bigger?  Would I have more friends if I was more of a party girl?"  This starts a very hurtful pattern that spreads like wildfire, and destroys your self-esteem!  Let's put it this way, if people did not want me in their life for these reasons, then they were not worth having anyway!  In regards to your cup size remark, it really doesn't matter about that.  I am the large-busted friend in the equation, and my smaller-busted friend gets all of the attention!  She is the wild one and I am shy and reserved.  She kinda commands the attention now and asks questions later! 

So, I guess, that we have to take stock of our gifts and be thankful that we are each the unique people that we are.   Our authentic self is a precious gift, and the only person who can take that away from us is ourselves.  Nice to meet you! 

Smile! 

~Sunshine~ 

everywhere i see you, your so incouraging!!!  i like that!!!  we need people like you here!!!   

i think your a very special person!!!  you have the ability to do things a lot of people can't do!!! 

Hisjewel 

Thanks so much!  You are very kind to me.  To be able to lend a helping hand to someone makes me feel good.     You, too, are a very special person.  I have read your posts throughout, and you have had the courage to deal with some tough subjects.  Too often I see great people selling themselves short.  A positive Self-Image is a fleeting thing.  It's really a painful experience to not like who you are.  Hee Hee, LoL, I know from experience!  So, I personally think that if I can make someone smile, then it's a good day.  Hope to hear from you soon! 

Smile! 

~Sunshine~ 

I always knew why I hated myself.  I call it my "not good enough" mode.  What things have you so upset with yourself?  I have read your posts, and we have a great deal in common.  I also live at my parents house.  I have three children, and my ex-husband doesn't help support them.  This makes it impossible to live independently at this time.  I don't feel like this is the best situation, but it could be so much worse!  I have bipolar disorder, and I was near death two years ago (i really didn't feel capable of anything).  I couldn't talk without having anxiety attacks.  I had trouble telling anyone my name, let alone that I had just wanted to die every day of my life for 15 years.  I am 25 years old.  I pretty much stared at the walls all day, because it was too hard to get out of my chair.  I really hadn't left the house (gone outside) in five years.  No one around me thought that there was anything wrong with me!  There are roles in this world.  I was a giver and I surrounded myself with takers who had pretty much bled me dry.  Well on Halloween 2003, I finally told someone the whole truth about it.  I went to the hospital and started treatment.  I have a wonderful therapist, and I take my meds.  Medication has opened doors to a whole new world that I never knew existed.   I am going to return to college to become a psychologist.  I want to help people like me, paralyzed by a disorder, get going with their lives.  I now have a job, I go places, I dress nicely, look nicely, and I am able to say, "this is important to me".  I think my attitude comes from dealing with all of this. A positive attitude is absolutely what has taken me through all of this.  I used to hate it when the people in my group called me sunshine!  Now I realize that it is something they saw in me that I never knew existed.  The thing that I have had to learn to accept is that I can never see myself through someone else's eyes, and they don't see all of the horrible things that I think stick out!  So I just have to believe them when they say something nice!  Hard at first, but it gets easier.  I try to find humor in everything.  I laugh at everything, and it helps.  I could tell you lots of funny stories!  I think that you are very special.  Please see a counselor at the college about your anxiety, because you don't want to take a chance of having it sabotage your success in school.  (This is my great fear for myself- If I go back to school and get sick, I will fail)  Also, have a wonderful day, and smile!  It's contagious! 

Thanks for being my friend, 

~Sunshine~