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Topic : Self Image

Number of Replies: 1173
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:53:12 am
Author : dataimport
Do you have a positive or negative self image? Share your struggles and tips with us.

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September 20, 2007, 2:12 pm CDT

Don't Know Where to Turn

I am 40 years old, and do not know who I am. 

 

I am married to a wonderful man 20 years older than myself and have done nothing but destroy him and our relationship.  We have been together for 7 3/4 years and married for 5 1/2 of them.

The things I have done in the past 2 years especially, are completely unforgiveable.  I don't know why he didn't put me in jail or hasn't killed me or divorced me yet.  He keeps telling me that he still feels love for me, but I don't know how he can still care at all.

 

I am going to get the Self Matters book and workbook this weekend and hope this helps me get back on the right path in life. 

 

When I was younger, I was always talked down to by everyone, even my parents.  My mother passed away 35 years ago this past Monday, September 17th.  I don't know if any of my feelings and actions stem from this loss, but i hope to find out. 

 

I went to a Psychologist for about 1 month when he told me I have Adult ADD.  I bought the book he told me to get, read it from cover to cover 3 times, and still it has not helped.  I really don't believe I have this disorder, but don't have the money to go to another Professional to find out.

 

I was married at 20 and had my son at 21.  I had my daughter at 30, divorced at 33.  I don't have relationship with either my son or daughter, however I do pay my support, as they live with their father.  I am trying to get the amount reduced since my son is 18 and graduated from high school now, but I am not having any luck here either.

 

I feel as though I never do anything right and make stupid choices in life.  Now that I have such a wonderful person in my life, I am on the verge of losing him too.  I would not be where I am today if it weren't for my current husband.  He has taught me so much, yet I can't seem to apply the "lessons learned" to my everyday life.  I find fault with everyone else in the world, but fail to see what I do wrong.  I can talk about what needs to be done and I KNOW what I need to do, however, for some reason, I can't put it into play.

 

Someone HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I have even involved my husband's 2 daughters and their families in our problems, as we had to borrow money to pay for a lawyer to file Bankruptcy, due to my stupidity with Credit Cards, and I really don't know if I can ever face them again either.

 

PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!  I'M DESPARATE!!!!!!!

 

 

 
September 20, 2007, 2:56 pm CDT

Self Image

Quote From: meranda

 

I remember when I was in high school I didn't have a very good self image.  I was always concerned with some part of me being to big or to small.  Now that I have two kids and have gone up  a few sizes, I think I have a better self image now.  I know I'm not perfect, but who is?  I think somehow having kids and getting used to a "new body"  helped me get over my insecurities.  There were so many things on my body I couldn't fix after having kids, I  had to except myself the way I am.

I remeber feeling the same way in high school -- never skinny enough, never pretty enough, chest not big enough, etc.

 

Come to think of it, I still feel that way.  I feel as though I will never measure up, no matter what.

 

I, too, have gone up several sizes, and back down again.  I am 5'6" and currently weigh 150 lbs.  This is down about 25 lbs since March.  I still have way too much fat and flab around my belly, hips and thighs, but I'm not giving up.  My target for myself, depending on how I look, is 125 - 130 lbs.  When I get there, I get there.  I'm not in a hurry, but I want to do this healthy.

 

I don't know if I will ever get over the feeling of low self - esteem and poor self - image, but I sure am going to put up one hell of a fight!

 

Don't y ou give up either!!

 
September 21, 2007, 7:14 am CDT

competing

Quote From: gcg1211

I am aging, overweight and struggle with low self-esteem.  I went to Robin's beauty recipes, and tried her "morning drink" recipe.  I vomited almost immediately afterwards and was sick for hours...

 

How can "normal" people compete with celebrity images?  Look at Robin- she is nearly my age I think (58) and she looks about 35!!! How can everyday people compete with people who have the resources and ability to do things we can't? 

 

Just wanting to vent a bit....thanks.

You've said it...How do we compete.  The answer is that you're not suppose to.  You're suppose to be the best "YOU" that you can be.  You're not going to be the best Robin.  She's already taken the job.  And truly, no offense to Robin but normal people just don't have the time in their day to do all things neccessary to look like her.  I'm guessing she works out, may have a personal trainer, probably gets facials and manicures and has someone to do her hair, make up and wardrobe for when she's in public.  We mere mortals can not afford all that luxury therefore shouldn't even try to compete or compare ourselves to such a world.   It's ok to look up to a celebrity or admire them but don't try being like them.  It's setting yourself up for failure.  Besides, there aren't many celebs out there anymore worth looking up to.  Find something that you like about you and build on that.
 
September 21, 2007, 7:25 am CDT

shocked!!!!!!

Quote From: boss2285

i am 22 years ol and have been diagnosed with anorexia for 7 years now. I am 5'4 ad weigh 86 pounds but have not lost my period yet. im not normal but i dont skip 3 months. i was in the er for malnurtion two weeks ago and my potassium was reallly low along with other levels. I never missed my period for 3 months even when i was down in the 70's(lbs). Does that mean im healthy for my weight? it says all over websites that anorexics lose their period 3 or more months so I kind of think im not or never have been. yes gaining weight is te biggest fear i have. I want to lose 10 more but everyone says i look like skin and bones and i still see fat. Unsure about the 3 month thing. That makes me think im still healthy where im at.
Honey, there is NOTHING healthy about an 86 lb 5'4" person.  So your periods haven't quit.  SO WHAT.  That is just one of many POSSIBLE things that can happen to your body.  Not everything happens to everyone.  I'm sure you are just skin and bones that your friends and family tell you that you are.  You may think that you see fat but it's actually just protruding bones and more than likely sagging skin.  You may not have 10 more lbs to lose.  You might just be dead by then.  I really really hope for your sake that you are getting some professional help.  Your state of mind sounds very scary.  I wish you well.
 
September 24, 2007, 12:46 pm CDT

Self Image

At 40 years old, you would think most people would know, or least have a pretty good idea, of who they are. NOT!!!!! I don't even come close to mixing the batter to find out.! I do know that I have done some absolutely unforgivable things in my life, however, I need to look deep inside of me to find out why I did what I did and to turn it all around and be the best person I know I can be. I used to be a loving and caring person, but somewhere along the years, it all changed. I have become ugly, fat, hateful and uncaring about everyone including myself. I want to begin Self Matters, unfortunately, I don't have the means to purchase the books. I know this would be the only way for me to really look deep inside of myself and come to grips with everything that has been said and done in my life and to move on and "get a life". Any suggestions???????
 
September 24, 2007, 12:56 pm CDT

Self Image

At 40 years old, you would think most people would know, or least have a pretty good idea, of who they are. NOT!!!!! I don't even come close to mixing the batter to find out.! I do know that I have done some absolutely unforgivable things in my life, however, I need to look deep inside of me to find out why I did what I did and to turn it all around and be the best person I know I can be. I used to be a loving and caring person, but somewhere along the years, it all changed. I have become ugly, fat, hateful and uncaring about everyone including myself. I want to begin Self Matters, unfortunately, I don't have the means to purchase the books. I know this would be the only way for me to really look deep inside of myself and come to grips with everything that has been said and done in my life and to move on and "get a life". Any suggestions???????
 
October 1, 2007, 1:18 am CDT

The Way I Look

I had a baby about a year ago. I was very thin before I got pregnant and I looked really good. But now even though I have lost much of the weight I gained during the pregnancy I do not look the same way that I did during the pregnancy. I don't think that I look bad, but everyone else seems to think so and they make comments all the time like, "Boy you sure have gotten big." or, "You sure have spread out." My father-in-law frequently says to me, "Boy your legs sure have gotten huge. Your butt is really huge." My husband says that he loves me but that I am on the verge of really being unattractive to him. The thing is that I am only about 20 pounds over my original weight and I really don't feel that I am very overweight. I was a little underweight before. I am heavier than I used to be, but everyone makes out like I am morbidly obese or something. It is as though they can no longer see the things in me that they liked before. I am really smart and funny. I'm a good listener and a good friend, but no one cares about that anymore. Every time any of them look at me they feel they have to make some comment about how "huge" they think I've gotten. I am so sick of this. It really makes me feel bad. I have told my husband this, but all he says is, "Well I'm just telling you the truth and so is everyone else. You don't look as good as you used to. If you don't like what everyone is telling you then lose some weight." My husband says that I am 60 pounds overweight. If I lost 60 pounds then I'd be anorexic. I don't know what to do. Does anybody have any ideas?
 
October 3, 2007, 12:29 am CDT

On a bad day.....

You see on a good day I can see myself as being this big tub of lard that isnt worth the dirt on the road.  However its the bad days that make things 10 times worse.  I'm 20 years old and thought I would be further along by now, know who I am, what I want to do for the rest of my life and live somewhat a regular existence in a smaller Saskatchewan city, but NO!!!!  I'm stuck with the thoughts that if I am someone and brag about it then I will just become an arrogant prick to everyone around me.  So instead of picking myself up I drag myself down.  I constantly make pokes at me, and believe me I don't need to the rest of the world is full of it but to try and stay humble about life it is easier to hate yourself than love yourself and be hated by everyone else.  When I do something wrong no need for punishment from others, I bash my head against a wall for hours and sometimes bleed.  I make sure that whatever my torture is that I remember it for the next time I'm a moron with my life.  I joke about death on a regular basis and just don't really care anymore, I mean seriously I'm the loud one of all my friends, I do everything and maybe thats why I'm so confused, so would it really make a difference if I were here or not, not in my mind it wouldnt.  Anyways that is on a bad day, a good day is a bit better when I decide that I'm not the dirt on the road and I'm beautiful although the main problem is the good days never ever outweigh the bad ones.  I go from good to bad within an hour and my system reacts immediately and I'm sick again.  I just wish I had a better self image might keep me from doing something really stupid. 
 
October 5, 2007, 8:31 am CDT

self image

Quote From: lori043002

At 40 years old, you would think most people would know, or least have a pretty good idea, of who they are. NOT!!!!! I don't even come close to mixing the batter to find out.! I do know that I have done some absolutely unforgivable things in my life, however, I need to look deep inside of me to find out why I did what I did and to turn it all around and be the best person I know I can be. I used to be a loving and caring person, but somewhere along the years, it all changed. I have become ugly, fat, hateful and uncaring about everyone including myself. I want to begin Self Matters, unfortunately, I don't have the means to purchase the books. I know this would be the only way for me to really look deep inside of myself and come to grips with everything that has been said and done in my life and to move on and "get a life". Any suggestions???????
Go to the library.  They have lots of books
 
October 9, 2007, 12:53 pm CDT

Self Image

Quote From: koolaidemom

Go to the library.  They have lots of books

I have already checked out thelibrary, no luck.

 

Any other suggestions????

 

 
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