My own Mom hates the sound of my voice. I am totally incapable of talking low or soft. My loud high pitched voice grates on everyones nerves. I am constantly being shushed.
I am OLD looking, overweight too chesty and was told by my Grand daughter (God love the honest child) that my boobs look like squidward's nose. I have varicose veins that gross my grandson out. My belly is so large that if I were younger people would be asking if the baby was overdue.
My hair is thin, I have no chin just a waddle where it should have been. I have an old man's butt, yellow teeth, so many freckles they run together. I have hanging moles so large that the kids call them meatloaf.
I am too tall for a woman so it is hard to just hide in the crowd, everyone notices me. (My hight pitched loud voice doesn't help here either)
All of this is on the outside, I am misunderstood most of the time so what is on the inside is not much liked either. I come across as too assertive, accused of thinking I "Know it all" and often thought of untruthful when I relate things from my past, as if no one could possibly have lived the life I clam to have lived, But I did live it -- did not much want too-- but if fact did.
I truly believe that if I were beautiful on the outside and spoke with a soft pleasing voice that I would be a more believable me. I could be myself without making people mad. At the very least, I would stop wanting out of this body every time I look in a mirror.
