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Topic : Self Image

Number of Replies: 1173
New Messages This Week: 0
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:53:12 am
Author : dataimport
Do you have a positive or negative self image? Share your struggles and tips with us.

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March 12, 2008, 9:09 am CDT

Self Image

where can i begin? my self image is like a war zone. i feel like a war zone. i'm overweight and i have always been overweight. all throughout my schooling, kids picked on me, beat me up and everything that you can think of, it happened to me. i still remember those days. i am very self conscience. i hate my body. i am starting to hate myself for it. my depression is getting worse cuz of my low self esteem issues. sometimes i just dont want to be around my family. i have a 15 month old son, and i['m tryin my best to take off the weight but it seems like i cant. even when i eat good. and healthy. i eat threee meals a day no snacks or anything and i still gain weight lol. well thats all i gotta say right now. thanks for listening you guys.

 

 

 
April 20, 2008, 5:18 pm CDT

Self Image

My personal self image is always up and down, up and down.
I know as a fact that I'm actually a very attractive girl - I've been told that my whole life - but there's a part inside me that is always self doubting. Like no matter how I look, it'll never be good enough for me and I'll never really feel truly comfortable with myself.

I went through a pretty bad period in my teens, you know, when your body goes crazy on you. I got pretty severe acne all over my body, my long straight  glossy hair turned into a curly mess and so forth. It killed me. Every time I looked in a mirror I used to cry.
Now that I'm 21 I've managed to control my hair and my skin is as soft and smooth as ever, but I think I've been pretty scarred on the inside.

My parents were the worst of it all. Every day they used to pretty much judge how I looked. They'd tell me if my teeth weren't white enough, or if my legs had put on weight. Every day there was something new to pick about. My mother called me fat once in my teenage years. It's ridiculous. I've always  weighed just under 100 pounds. She used to even ask my dad who was the most attractive between us two.

Now that she has a new boyfriend it's still pretty farkin bad. He's the most shovanistic, sexist man I've probably ever come across. He insists that women wear stilettos at all times. Idiot....Anyways...They actually told me I had 'a fat arse' and a nose like Barbara Streissand. Actually...what they said was 'You have such a pretty face, and such beautiful features. You're a real stunner. Too bad about the nose. ' I know in my head this is totally not true and my friends are always reassuring me, telling me that they're idiots. My fiance thinks my nose is cute as hell and says I don't have enough butt lol, but you know. It beats me down. It makes me question myself. I feel like poo all the time cuz I'm stressing about what people are thinking all day long.

Whow. I sound so whiney. Hahahah!

x
 
May 12, 2008, 10:46 am CDT

Self-Image

My grandmother taught me to love myself inside and out.  She doesn't tolerate any "putdowns" in her house and she is always encouraging me.   From her, I learned the importance of exercise and being healthy.  Attitude is key, also.  You have to be happy with yourself---not envious of what someone else calls, "ideal."    There is a difference in being negative and being realistic.   I'll not reach 5'5" w/o heels and my brown eyes won't turn blue w/o colored contact lenses!  I am still beautiful!   Besides, I am going to take advantage of every opportunity this life has to offer because...LIFE IS TOO SHORT to be unhappy!
 
May 14, 2008, 11:22 am CDT

very good self image

I am a 44 y/o divorced woman with 3 children.  I am 4;11 and have a very tiny frame.  I like myself and my weight and my looks.  My boyfriend says his fav things about me are my smile and eyes.  The rest is just 'icing on the cake'.  I have been told my sooooo many ppl that I have a nice body...butt and legs...but HIS view of me means more than all the others put together.  There are many women younger than I am that are out of shape and unhealthy but dont know why they can get it together....my advice is  ATTITUDE!  If you look at yourself in the mirror and say good day you great looking soul  - your attitude about yourself will change....quit listening to others to tell you whether your good or bad....it all comes from within YOU!
 
May 14, 2008, 11:23 am CDT

very good self image

I am a 44 y/o divorced woman with 3 children.  I am 4;11 and have a very tiny frame.  I like myself and my weight and my looks.  My boyfriend says his fav things about me are my smile and eyes.  The rest is just 'icing on the cake'.  I have been told by sooooo many ppl that I have a nice body...butt and legs...but HIS view of me means more than all the others put together.  There are many women younger than I am that are out of shape and unhealthy but dont know why they can get it together....my advice is  ATTITUDE!  If you look at yourself in the mirror and say good day you great looking soul  - your attitude about yourself will change....quit listening to others to tell you whether your good or bad....it all comes from within YOU!
 
May 14, 2008, 3:51 pm CDT

RE I'm hot, your not

Those who disrespect you are using a "control drama" to take your power away because they do not feel they have any themselves.
Your first guest spoke of "ugly" people being insecure, rude, and pretty much menacing (I am not going to quote for I do not have the actual words in front of me); what I took from that is the she described her own qualities and flaws and depends on her outward appearance to disguise her emotional feelings about herself.
I really do hope that one day she realizes the dangers in this type of negativity because is not only hurting others, but it could end up damaging her even more so.

It is disconcerting to see that these types of people exist but it is an undeniable reality and will not cease. However, what alarms me even more is that when we are a witness to these types of  illmannered, and sometimes belligerent behaviour, there are very few who have the courage to step in face defend those being ridiculed. We cannot change the actions of others but we can choose to stand up against what is morally wrong.
 
May 14, 2008, 6:35 pm CDT

Maybe not...

I am a 51 year old African American woman. I have been happily married for 21 years and I have 2 sons - Brandon (murdered at age 17 would be 34 this year) and Kevin just turned 18 years old.

The most I have ever weighed in my life was when I was pregnant with my children:  147 pounds with Brandon and 149 with Kevin. You many wonder why I can remember my weight with two children 15 years apart. Well, this stands out so much for me because it is not such a great thing to be be thin. At least I don't think so. I weigh 112 pounds and I am 5'6" tall. The most I have weighed without being pregnant is 128 pounds. I get really sad when I see my friends and family disliking their size - I wish I could gain some weight. I know this is not going to be a popular message, but, I am so tired of being skinny I could just spit! There, I said it, I know in this society no one will get it but  it is just as hard for me to gain weight as it is for a person who wants to lose weight. And after hearing, "you are so small..., you are so skinny...., are you eatin?...... a million different times - you will not think being thin is so in!

 
May 15, 2008, 12:02 am CDT

I love me!

I have been through my challenges in this life and have come through them all with an amazingly strong, positive and fulfilling opinion of myself and my life. I have to give an large amount of the credit to my mother for always believing in me. I also have to give myself a large part of the credit as well. I have had to do a lot of soul searching  to get to where I am now and I LOVE ME!. What have been my challenges you wonder? Well, the same things that many other people face every day.  As a child I was over weight  and we never had a lot of money so I was ridiculed in school quite often. Fat, ugly, second hand clothes. Everyone believed I would end up on public assistance with many children crawling around. As a teen the teasing contiued until I took a bet from someone to see who could lose weight the quickest. I won, but not in a good way. I basically stopped eating and worked out every day. I stayed thin for several years but eventually the weight began to creep back on. I was in a relationship with a man who ended up  becoming an alcoholic. He became very verbally and even sexually abusive. He told me every day how disgusting I was because I'd gained weight. At the time I was 5'7 and weighed 150 pounds. Of course, he had convinced me that I really was disgusting. After 6 years, the lightbulb came on over my head. Other men were still hitting on me so I couldn't be that bad. I decided that although I still loved him, I had to love me more and I left him. Soon after I began to date the most wonderful man Tim. I married him and began a beautiful life of love and happiness. Shortly after we began dating my mother died from Pancreatic Cancer. My dearest and longest friend was gone. Two years later, my husband died when we were in a head on collision. I was unable to walk having sustained major injuries for three months after the accident. We were both 29 years old. I had no one left but my brother and his family. Without my husband it seemed I could no longer breathe. After a year, I decided I was no longer going to be a victim of this terrible accident, I was going to be a survivor and make his death mean something. Along with memories of my mother, he is the man who helped shape who I am today. He showed me that I was sexy, beautiful, attractive and vital to this world. There really was no reason I should have survived that accident, so I set out to discover why I'd been spared and just what I still had left to do.

 

Here's what I have become: I am not on any kind of anti-depressant or pain medication, even though my injuries are still apparent. I am a business owner and a home owner;  a member of our local Rotary Club; I am Co-Chair for our local Relay for Life event; I serve on a school board; served for a year as President of the local Boys and Girls Club Advisory Board; I worked for many years as a Domestic Violence Advocate; I have never had children of my own but after finally finding love five years after my husbands death, I have sort of become a fill in mother to my boyfriends children (their mother died of an drug overdose earlier this year); I did continue to gain weight and am now a 310 pounds (but damn, I still look good!). I do go through periods where I am at the gym religiosly, however I am not right now. Yes I am very concerned with my health as I should be, but I still love who I am, who I've become and other than health concerns wouldn't change a thing about my self. As my best friend Wendy says about me, "If I were any more confident, I would scare her."  

 
May 25, 2008, 3:38 pm CDT

I adore and cherish me!

I always wanted to be me when I grew up!!!  I look up to me, I love me, I never wanted to be anyone but me.  I thank God for me!!!

 
May 26, 2008, 7:39 pm CDT

I love this SHOW!!!!

Okay this show made me realize how people really are. And I respect the guess on your show for keeping it sooo real! I believe that most people think like that in certain ways or another but are just too scared to show their true feelings. Not too scared but some dont want to be blunt or rude and the guess on your show really didnt care. Shaneque, (the black girl) on the show... I forgot her name, my bad girl. But she was the most interesting person that I have ever seen. I actually AGREE with her in most ways, I just dont have enough balls to come out and say it like she did. But Ugly people are jealous and they are very envious of the girl who is getting the most attention out of the crowd. I use to think I wasnt that attractive and it didnt bother me any because Im married with a child. I married my soul mate. But when I went on vacation with a group of family members and friends. I was actually getting lots of attention from the opposite sex and it was very flattering, Im not going to lie. Anyways, the girls that I was with were getting extremel adgitated with me, a slight jealous if u dont mind me saying. It bothered a little bit but I didnt say anything because I didnt want to sound stuck up or rude but thats what I was thinking in my head. Then I came home from the trip and a few days later I seen the show and I really felt what your guess was saying. I never really looked at it like in that way and I really never looked into things so  deeply but it kind of made since.

 
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