Topic : Self Image

Number of Replies: 1180
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:53:12 am
Author : dataimport
Do you have a positive or negative self image? Share your struggles and tips with us.

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May 14, 2008, 11:23 am PDT

very good self image

I am a 44 y/o divorced woman with 3 children.  I am 4;11 and have a very tiny frame.  I like myself and my weight and my looks.  My boyfriend says his fav things about me are my smile and eyes.  The rest is just 'icing on the cake'.  I have been told by sooooo many ppl that I have a nice body...butt and legs...but HIS view of me means more than all the others put together.  There are many women younger than I am that are out of shape and unhealthy but dont know why they can get it together....my advice is  ATTITUDE!  If you look at yourself in the mirror and say good day you great looking soul  - your attitude about yourself will change....quit listening to others to tell you whether your good or bad....it all comes from within YOU!
 
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May 14, 2008, 3:51 pm PDT

RE I'm hot, your not

Those who disrespect you are using a "control drama" to take your power away because they do not feel they have any themselves.
Your first guest spoke of "ugly" people being insecure, rude, and pretty much menacing (I am not going to quote for I do not have the actual words in front of me); what I took from that is the she described her own qualities and flaws and depends on her outward appearance to disguise her emotional feelings about herself.
I really do hope that one day she realizes the dangers in this type of negativity because is not only hurting others, but it could end up damaging her even more so.

It is disconcerting to see that these types of people exist but it is an undeniable reality and will not cease. However, what alarms me even more is that when we are a witness to these types of  illmannered, and sometimes belligerent behaviour, there are very few who have the courage to step in face defend those being ridiculed. We cannot change the actions of others but we can choose to stand up against what is morally wrong.
 
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frustrated
May 14, 2008, 6:35 pm PDT

Maybe not...

I am a 51 year old African American woman. I have been happily married for 21 years and I have 2 sons - Brandon (murdered at age 17 would be 34 this year) and Kevin just turned 18 years old.

The most I have ever weighed in my life was when I was pregnant with my children:  147 pounds with Brandon and 149 with Kevin. You many wonder why I can remember my weight with two children 15 years apart. Well, this stands out so much for me because it is not such a great thing to be be thin. At least I don't think so. I weigh 112 pounds and I am 5'6" tall. The most I have weighed without being pregnant is 128 pounds. I get really sad when I see my friends and family disliking their size - I wish I could gain some weight. I know this is not going to be a popular message, but, I am so tired of being skinny I could just spit! There, I said it, I know in this society no one will get it but  it is just as hard for me to gain weight as it is for a person who wants to lose weight. And after hearing, "you are so small..., you are so skinny...., are you eatin?...... a million different times - you will not think being thin is so in!

 
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May 15, 2008, 12:02 am PDT

I love me!

I have been through my challenges in this life and have come through them all with an amazingly strong, positive and fulfilling opinion of myself and my life. I have to give an large amount of the credit to my mother for always believing in me. I also have to give myself a large part of the credit as well. I have had to do a lot of soul searching  to get to where I am now and I LOVE ME!. What have been my challenges you wonder? Well, the same things that many other people face every day.  As a child I was over weight  and we never had a lot of money so I was ridiculed in school quite often. Fat, ugly, second hand clothes. Everyone believed I would end up on public assistance with many children crawling around. As a teen the teasing contiued until I took a bet from someone to see who could lose weight the quickest. I won, but not in a good way. I basically stopped eating and worked out every day. I stayed thin for several years but eventually the weight began to creep back on. I was in a relationship with a man who ended up  becoming an alcoholic. He became very verbally and even sexually abusive. He told me every day how disgusting I was because I'd gained weight. At the time I was 5'7 and weighed 150 pounds. Of course, he had convinced me that I really was disgusting. After 6 years, the lightbulb came on over my head. Other men were still hitting on me so I couldn't be that bad. I decided that although I still loved him, I had to love me more and I left him. Soon after I began to date the most wonderful man Tim. I married him and began a beautiful life of love and happiness. Shortly after we began dating my mother died from Pancreatic Cancer. My dearest and longest friend was gone. Two years later, my husband died when we were in a head on collision. I was unable to walk having sustained major injuries for three months after the accident. We were both 29 years old. I had no one left but my brother and his family. Without my husband it seemed I could no longer breathe. After a year, I decided I was no longer going to be a victim of this terrible accident, I was going to be a survivor and make his death mean something. Along with memories of my mother, he is the man who helped shape who I am today. He showed me that I was sexy, beautiful, attractive and vital to this world. There really was no reason I should have survived that accident, so I set out to discover why I'd been spared and just what I still had left to do.

 

Here's what I have become: I am not on any kind of anti-depressant or pain medication, even though my injuries are still apparent. I am a business owner and a home owner;  a member of our local Rotary Club; I am Co-Chair for our local Relay for Life event; I serve on a school board; served for a year as President of the local Boys and Girls Club Advisory Board; I worked for many years as a Domestic Violence Advocate; I have never had children of my own but after finally finding love five years after my husbands death, I have sort of become a fill in mother to my boyfriends children (their mother died of an drug overdose earlier this year); I did continue to gain weight and am now a 310 pounds (but damn, I still look good!). I do go through periods where I am at the gym religiosly, however I am not right now. Yes I am very concerned with my health as I should be, but I still love who I am, who I've become and other than health concerns wouldn't change a thing about my self. As my best friend Wendy says about me, "If I were any more confident, I would scare her."  

 
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flirtatious
May 25, 2008, 3:38 pm PDT

I adore and cherish me!

I always wanted to be me when I grew up!!!  I look up to me, I love me, I never wanted to be anyone but me.  I thank God for me!!!

 
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May 26, 2008, 7:39 pm PDT

I love this SHOW!!!!

Okay this show made me realize how people really are. And I respect the guess on your show for keeping it sooo real! I believe that most people think like that in certain ways or another but are just too scared to show their true feelings. Not too scared but some dont want to be blunt or rude and the guess on your show really didnt care. Shaneque, (the black girl) on the show... I forgot her name, my bad girl. But she was the most interesting person that I have ever seen. I actually AGREE with her in most ways, I just dont have enough balls to come out and say it like she did. But Ugly people are jealous and they are very envious of the girl who is getting the most attention out of the crowd. I use to think I wasnt that attractive and it didnt bother me any because Im married with a child. I married my soul mate. But when I went on vacation with a group of family members and friends. I was actually getting lots of attention from the opposite sex and it was very flattering, Im not going to lie. Anyways, the girls that I was with were getting extremel adgitated with me, a slight jealous if u dont mind me saying. It bothered a little bit but I didnt say anything because I didnt want to sound stuck up or rude but thats what I was thinking in my head. Then I came home from the trip and a few days later I seen the show and I really felt what your guess was saying. I never really looked at it like in that way and I really never looked into things so  deeply but it kind of made since.

 
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June 14, 2008, 7:25 am PDT

Improving self image and personal hygiene

Hello there. Name's Denise and I'm looking to improve my self image. My personal hygiene is to say the least, less than stellar, and I want to improve on that the most. How can I do that?

Denise
 
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June 19, 2008, 11:12 pm PDT

Self Image

I definitely have a negative self image, unfortunately lol. IDK i just never saw myself as pretty or cute, i was nvr complemented by people my age, just grownups and it always feel like their forcing it lol. Like i had alot of weight, i was a size 18. And then i stopped eating blah blah at beginning of this yr, dropped to a size like 7 or 8, not lying, but i think it was more because i exercised alot, cause i would cheat and eat lol. But umm, then i had went from dress size 14 - 16, to right now i'm 7 or 9. But my parents are stll telling me to lose some weight lol, and it doesnt exactly make me feel great. All the girls i see in school and admire are like size 2's and they have great ways of showin it lol. And i wanna be a size 2 but not getting there lol, and im back to eating cause mainly i like food lol. So yeah, guess im working on that one.
 
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June 22, 2008, 1:33 am PDT

Self image and diseases

I recently found this book on www.healingpsyche.com, could be interesting

"Healing Psyche is a treasure trove of rigorous research on the mind-body connection for cancer – all presented in practical ways that both doctors and their patients can access and implement easily. Quite frankly, this book could save your life.”

Christiane Northrup, MD, author of Mother-Daughter Wisdom (Bantam, 2005), The Wisdom of Menopause (Bantam, revised 2006), and Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom (Bantam, revised 2006) 
 
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July 2, 2008, 12:41 pm PDT

help

Quote From: ladylorlor

  

   You are causing the scars by picking at your face;  Sometimes adjusting your diet can help.  But I have one suggestion for when it is already there and you want to get rid of it.  And my husband is appauled by pimples, he gave me the suggestion and I didn't believe it would work, until I did it myself.   

    All you have to do is get a Really Hot Clean washcloth and hold it on the pimple until the cloth is cool.  If it is not gone do it again, and up to 4 times I have had to do it with those stubborn ones. 

  

     Now for those stubborn blackheads, you probably won't think of this either but it does work, and it is Lava soap. 

     Use the Lava soap first and then rinse it off with the hottest water you can take, then wipe your face with a Dove cloth, you can even buy them in the Dollar General Stores, They are not to expensive and they are way worth it.  Then rinse your face with COLD water.  That closes the pores.  Your face will now have a shiny, healthy glow, NOT oily shiny Healthy shiny. 

       Apples I am told helps to keep the pimples away and I have been told that unhealthy carbs don't help either, But this I do not know for sure. 

    I have read that chocolate does not cause pimples.  But for me I know that I really increase my sugars and carbs when my period is coming and I believe that might not be so good for the skin. 

  

            Either way you find works for you PLEASE be nice to your face, Picking it is like Beating yourself.  You will scar.  And you have noone or anything else to blame but yourself.  And I have a friend who had many scars on her face because when she gets nervous she picks herself, and She has a hard time not doing it because she doesn't even realize she is doing it until someone points it out to her.  And that is not common because who likes to tell someone to stop picking themselves.  It is just not something we do unless we are personally involved with said persons, Right. 

                   My daughter who is now 17 agrees with these methods and she is doing very well.   And believe me she didn't believe the Hot towel theory until I begged her to stop picking herself and at least try it.  "What could it hurt" I told her,  and I am very happy she listened because she has a beautiful face.  Not that I would think it ok for someone who isnot considered attractive should keep their pimples either of course. 

                Well I hope I can be of some kind of help.  Have a Wonderful Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

                  

In reading your reply I noticed that you have a friend who gets nervous and picks herself.  I also have a friend who is constantly doing this to herself and we don't know how to make her stop.  She will do it whereever and whenever then she feels bad wearing a short sleeve shirt or going out because of the damage she has caused to her face, arms or legs...any idea on where we can turn I really feel for her.
 

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