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Topic : Self Image

Number of Replies: 1173
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Created on : Thursday, July 07, 2005, 08:53:12 am
Author : dataimport
Do you have a positive or negative self image? Share your struggles and tips with us.

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September 13, 2008, 12:16 pm CDT

poor self image

 i have very poor self image since having 3 children & i have bad teeth so i live with very low self esteem

& pain every day of my life.

 
October 19, 2008, 6:59 am CDT

Self Image

Quote From: kimikomine

One of the biggest buddhist beliefs is that we all suffer. When we start believing that we are alone in our suffering, it turns us into victims instead of being spiritual beings having a human experience. We tend to see things through the eyes of the human instead of the spiritual beings that we truly are.

 

I am 47 as well and have gone through many ups and downs in life, like most or all of us and one of the best ways I can describe myself would be that when I realized that all beings suffer, maybe not right now, maybe not tomorrow, but suffer at some point, we will see that it is part of our human/spirit experience.

 

When you only see negative, its because that is your choice of seeing it that way. Every bad experience can be turned into a good one; and every good one can be turned into a bad one. Right? YOu are holding onto the bad but not wanting to see that in your suffering, there is a lesson for you.

 

Love is nececessary.

 

Don't try to talk yourself out of one of most beautiful things that others have to offer. Also, nature, music, poetry, dance, cooking, art, children, elderly, these are all good sources of love. Its true its not necessary to expect to get love from one source (as in a boyfriend) but to get it from all the other sources that are out there. Who is to say that if you find something that makes you feel good, you won't then be open to receive more? The universe does not give us anything until we are really ready. Love will come to you when you are open to it. Only dysfunction and pain will come if you try to see it in places that it is not.

 

You are not the only person that has bills. If you have bills, that probably means you lived a lifestyle that has been out of your range. So you enjoyed it for a while, which was fun, but now you don't. See how something good can turn to something bad on the flip of a switch? Look at childbirth. The pain. Need I say more? :)

 

Don't look for love. Don't look for pain. Be happy you are alive and given another day to make your human experience one that will nourish all beings; stop thinking about how miserable you are, start thinking about how you can make someone's day by giving a bigger tip, or smiling at a person that looks really grumpy (I tend to enjoy that one) and smile yourself more!!!!! Do you know that if you smile, the rest of your body benefits? Try it. Let me know how it goes and remember, we all suffer, you are not alone.

Wow - truly great words and a good way at looking at life - I never really thought of it that way - It makes so much sense. Thanks you for sharing that with us - It helps me allot
 
October 29, 2008, 3:49 pm CDT

WONDERFUL WORDS FOR THIS MESSAGEBOARD

Quote From: kimikomine

One of the biggest buddhist beliefs is that we all suffer. When we start believing that we are alone in our suffering, it turns us into victims instead of being spiritual beings having a human experience. We tend to see things through the eyes of the human instead of the spiritual beings that we truly are.

 

I am 47 as well and have gone through many ups and downs in life, like most or all of us and one of the best ways I can describe myself would be that when I realized that all beings suffer, maybe not right now, maybe not tomorrow, but suffer at some point, we will see that it is part of our human/spirit experience.

 

When you only see negative, its because that is your choice of seeing it that way. Every bad experience can be turned into a good one; and every good one can be turned into a bad one. Right? YOu are holding onto the bad but not wanting to see that in your suffering, there is a lesson for you.

 

Love is nececessary.

 

Don't try to talk yourself out of one of most beautiful things that others have to offer. Also, nature, music, poetry, dance, cooking, art, children, elderly, these are all good sources of love. Its true its not necessary to expect to get love from one source (as in a boyfriend) but to get it from all the other sources that are out there. Who is to say that if you find something that makes you feel good, you won't then be open to receive more? The universe does not give us anything until we are really ready. Love will come to you when you are open to it. Only dysfunction and pain will come if you try to see it in places that it is not.

 

You are not the only person that has bills. If you have bills, that probably means you lived a lifestyle that has been out of your range. So you enjoyed it for a while, which was fun, but now you don't. See how something good can turn to something bad on the flip of a switch? Look at childbirth. The pain. Need I say more? :)

 

Don't look for love. Don't look for pain. Be happy you are alive and given another day to make your human experience one that will nourish all beings; stop thinking about how miserable you are, start thinking about how you can make someone's day by giving a bigger tip, or smiling at a person that looks really grumpy (I tend to enjoy that one) and smile yourself more!!!!! Do you know that if you smile, the rest of your body benefits? Try it. Let me know how it goes and remember, we all suffer, you are not alone.

I believe just like you do.
I took a "NEGATIVE PAST" into
a "POSITIVE FUTURE".

"THERE IS A LIGHT AT THE END
OF THE TUNNEL FOR THOSE
WHO SEEK IT".

On my Perpetual Inspirational
Calendar the thought of the day
is......
Faith sees the invisible,
Believes the incredible,
And receives the impossible.

Another thing I have framed is....

God grant me the Serenity
to accept the things I
cannot change.....
Courage to change the
things I can and
Wisdom to know the
difference.

You gave "WORDS OF WISDOM"
and hope that will help anyone
who visits here.

Angel :=)
 
October 30, 2008, 4:03 am CDT

I AGREE WITH YOU

Quote From: jpasqual

Wow - truly great words and a good way at looking at life - I never really thought of it that way - It makes so much sense. Thanks you for sharing that with us - It helps me allot
After reading the message I
was so impressed with the
"WORDS OF WISDOM".

Having a "POSITIVE" attitude
is so important in life.

"FAITH" sees the invisible,
believes the incredible, and
receives the impossible

May your days will be filled with
hope for happiness.

Angel
:=)
 
February 18, 2009, 7:41 pm CST

Your self-image...inside or out?

I love this thread b/c I struggle with this all the time! Who doesn't?

 

Here is an article that may help you look at things a bit differently...looking on the INSIDE not the OUT!

 

http://www.bettyconfidential.com/ar/ld/a/Mirror_Mirror_on_the_Wall.html

 
April 2, 2009, 10:37 am CDT

Im fed up!

Its so sad to constantly observe women who have poor self image and the media is 90% of the problem.  They present an unrealistic of the average women as being, thin, happy, the perfect mother, friend, wife, child, etc. NO one is perfect.  To be completely honest, Im fed up with women constantly berrating themselves..."I cant believe I just ate that" or He'll never be interested in me"  Lets stop this lunacy!!!!!!!!!!!  Lets exude confidence and inner strength.  Thats what is truly attractive-not to mention truly important.  Just as obesity and teen sex are epidemics, so is this.  While their is no magic pill for this, we can counter-act the media's influence by encouraging healthy lifestyles (i.e. eating, exercise, faith,entertainment, etc...)  Let us highlight our strengths and embrace our flaws!  Let us look in the mirror everyday and say, " I love my eyes, or lips, or even butt!!!!!"  I know this sounds cheesy but as a young child I can never once remember my mom ever looking in the mirror and saying something positive about herself.  What was my take on this?....well, i grew up thinking that women were not supposed to embrace their bodies and be confident...that was being a 'show-off. '   well, i am 20 years old and guess what?...its not- and unfortuntley i learned the hard way (spiraling into an eating disorder.)  Not to say women are ALWAYS happy about there bodies, but let us at least try quiet the voices inside our heads that say we are not good enough!
 
May 29, 2009, 4:00 pm CDT

Media: The biggest pain in the butt

Quote From: ktangel1088

Its so sad to constantly observe women who have poor self image and the media is 90% of the problem.  They present an unrealistic of the average women as being, thin, happy, the perfect mother, friend, wife, child, etc. NO one is perfect.  To be completely honest, Im fed up with women constantly berrating themselves..."I cant believe I just ate that" or He'll never be interested in me"  Lets stop this lunacy!!!!!!!!!!!  Lets exude confidence and inner strength.  Thats what is truly attractive-not to mention truly important.  Just as obesity and teen sex are epidemics, so is this.  While their is no magic pill for this, we can counter-act the media's influence by encouraging healthy lifestyles (i.e. eating, exercise, faith,entertainment, etc...)  Let us highlight our strengths and embrace our flaws!  Let us look in the mirror everyday and say, " I love my eyes, or lips, or even butt!!!!!"  I know this sounds cheesy but as a young child I can never once remember my mom ever looking in the mirror and saying something positive about herself.  What was my take on this?....well, i grew up thinking that women were not supposed to embrace their bodies and be confident...that was being a 'show-off. '   well, i am 20 years old and guess what?...its not- and unfortuntley i learned the hard way (spiraling into an eating disorder.)  Not to say women are ALWAYS happy about there bodies, but let us at least try quiet the voices inside our heads that say we are not good enough!
I agree with you!  The media is horrible for that.  Do you ever see a overweight woman on a TV or movie.  No.  Do you see a normal wieght person in a magazen.  The worst of all is the Barbie doll who starts the unrealistic weight a girl, teen girl and woman should be.  If Barbie would be so small a size 0 wouldn't fit, her breast would be so big all she would be crawling on all fours.  This is wrong!!!  Then they have diet pills showing the thinnest people you could ever meet.  Except for very few though.  The the air brushing is so bogus.  It is the stupidest thing on the earth.  Sure there thin but lets maker her thinner!!  I had anorexia starting at age 18.  I got down to 109 pounds.  I went from that to binge eating.  Then I went to bulima.  Now I'm free of that but I'm still overweight.  I want to lose wieght so bad but I'm not going to do that again.  It just have to get off my butt and do that.  I have days I have I good self-image and other days it is low.  It is far better than it use to be.  It always was low many year ago.
 
June 20, 2009, 4:04 am CDT

Its important to be able to separate

Quote From: volunteer4god

I agree with you!  The media is horrible for that.  Do you ever see a overweight woman on a TV or movie.  No.  Do you see a normal wieght person in a magazen.  The worst of all is the Barbie doll who starts the unrealistic weight a girl, teen girl and woman should be.  If Barbie would be so small a size 0 wouldn't fit, her breast would be so big all she would be crawling on all fours.  This is wrong!!!  Then they have diet pills showing the thinnest people you could ever meet.  Except for very few though.  The the air brushing is so bogus.  It is the stupidest thing on the earth.  Sure there thin but lets maker her thinner!!  I had anorexia starting at age 18.  I got down to 109 pounds.  I went from that to binge eating.  Then I went to bulima.  Now I'm free of that but I'm still overweight.  I want to lose wieght so bad but I'm not going to do that again.  It just have to get off my butt and do that.  I have days I have I good self-image and other days it is low.  It is far better than it use to be.  It always was low many year ago.

After many years of envy, jealousy, wanting revenge on beautiful people, I have come to the conclusion that it was my fears that was keeping me in this state of comparisons. I have found that the more I work on improving my life, my looks, etc. the less competitive I felt about others. We have to learn to accept ourselves, and do everything in our power to make our lives successful and productive and also like the person we see when we look in the mirror. to me, if I can like what I see, then I really don't care about what someone else looks like, or has. It becomes insignificant to an extent.

 

And it is trued, all people suffer. It is a part of life. Beauty, money, power, do not protect from life. People die. Natural disasters happen. Children get sick. Parents dies. Rejection happens. Disappointments are daily, just like in our lives. No one is exempt from life suffering. I think what we see is an air of narcissim in many people. People who are really good looking, rich, etc. have come to believe that they are better then others, which separates them, which makes them lonely in many instances. They too have to work on these grandioise thinking, because they feel everything should just come to them, they are also disappointed because they too are surrounded by shallow people.   It can be very unsettling not to have at least one good relationship....to be able to trust just one person enough to know that they like you for who you are, not what you look like or what you have.  People like this attract people that are weak and insecure. Its a double edged sword.

 

Back to self image. I think it is insane how much emphasis is placed on advertising to tell us what we need, want, got to have. I now try to stay out of malls where I will spend money foolishly, watch only selective shows on t.v. so as not to influence negative messages of "I am less then if I don't look like this, or have that, or talk like this, or drive this car, or wear these shoes, or have blue contacts when my eyes are really a deep brown"....the media tries to tell us that who we are, is not good enough.  So, my suggestion is to stop allowing advertising to run your show. Stop looking around at people with an envy if they are beautiful and get all the attention, but observe what it is doing to you, how it is affecting you, how you are allowing it to affect your happiness.

 

I think we should all strive to be healthy. Kimi

 
June 30, 2009, 8:03 am CDT

Self Image

I have a horrible self image. i'm 28, not over weight, a single mom. i should be happy but i'm miserable. i hate looking in the mirror. at one point i would just put my hair in a pony tail daily just to avoid seeing myself. i have severe depression which makes this worse i'm sure. i used to be so confident but i'm not sure where that confidence went. the only link i can find is this gradually started after my dad died two years ago. he was all i had. i dont know how to love myself any more. i hate myself. i hate where my life is at. help!?
 
July 7, 2009, 6:59 am CDT

Self Image

Quote From: luvbugx3

I have a horrible self image. i'm 28, not over weight, a single mom. i should be happy but i'm miserable. i hate looking in the mirror. at one point i would just put my hair in a pony tail daily just to avoid seeing myself. i have severe depression which makes this worse i'm sure. i used to be so confident but i'm not sure where that confidence went. the only link i can find is this gradually started after my dad died two years ago. he was all i had. i dont know how to love myself any more. i hate myself. i hate where my life is at. help!?
yeah...  I used to put my hair in a really tight pony tail right after washing it because I thought it would make me look less attractive.  Yet I didn't see myself as attractive in the way I saw some people did and I didn't want it.  I don't do that now.  I actually cut my hair off so I couldn't.  Well, I didn't jus6t cut it for that reason.  I once began to discover me and I was becoming more confident in that girl and learning more to love her and then she sufficated.  Anyway this is about you.  Did you feel as if your dad was what helped make you like was he that one person you had??  I hope my question is really what i am asking!  haha!!  if I said it right.... oh i am 27
 
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