Topic : Self Image

At 40 years old, you would think most people would know, or least have a pretty good idea, of who they are. NOT!!!!! I don't even come close to mixing the batter to find out.! I do know that I have done some absolutely unforgivable things in my life, however, I need to look deep inside of me to find out why I did what I did and to turn it all around and be the best person I know I can be. I used to be a loving and caring person, but somewhere along the years, it all changed. I have become ugly, fat, hateful and uncaring about everyone including myself. I want to begin Self Matters, unfortunately, I don't have the means to purchase the books. I know this would be the only way for me to really look deep inside of myself and come to grips with everything that has been said and done in my life and to move on and "get a life". Any suggestions???????

At 40 years old, you would think most people would know, or least have a pretty good idea, of who they are. NOT!!!!! I don't even come close to mixing the batter to find out.! I do know that I have done some absolutely unforgivable things in my life, however, I need to look deep inside of me to find out why I did what I did and to turn it all around and be the best person I know I can be. I used to be a loving and caring person, but somewhere along the years, it all changed. I have become ugly, fat, hateful and uncaring about everyone including myself. I want to begin Self Matters, unfortunately, I don't have the means to purchase the books. I know this would be the only way for me to really look deep inside of myself and come to grips with everything that has been said and done in my life and to move on and "get a life". Any suggestions???????

I had a baby about a year ago. I was very thin before I got pregnant and I looked really good. But now even though I have lost much of the weight I gained during the pregnancy I do not look the same way that I did during the pregnancy. I don't think that I look bad, but everyone else seems to think so and they make comments all the time like, "Boy you sure have gotten big." or, "You sure have spread out." My father-in-law frequently says to me, "Boy your legs sure have gotten huge. Your butt is really huge." My husband says that he loves me but that I am on the verge of really being unattractive to him. The thing is that I am only about 20 pounds over my original weight and I really don't feel that I am very overweight. I was a little underweight before. I am heavier than I used to be, but everyone makes out like I am morbidly obese or something. It is as though they can no longer see the things in me that they liked before. I am really smart and funny. I'm a good listener and a good friend, but no one cares about that anymore. Every time any of them look at me they feel they have to make some comment about how "huge" they think I've gotten. I am so sick of this. It really makes me feel bad. I have told my husband this, but all he says is, "Well I'm just telling you the truth and so is everyone else. You don't look as good as you used to. If you don't like what everyone is telling you then lose some weight." My husband says that I am 60 pounds overweight. If I lost 60 pounds then I'd be anorexic. I don't know what to do. Does anybody have any ideas?

Go to the library.  They have lots of books

I have already checked out thelibrary, no luck.

 

Any other suggestions????

 

As for your family members:  rude, rude, rude!  Were they born in a barn?  Do they want some hay? (=

 

Nevertheless, in order to make YOURSELF feel better, try walking around the neighborhood at a fast pace with appropriate walking/running shoes.  It will help your body AND your mind.   Your husband is being insensitive when he says things about your weight...my word, you just had a BABY!!!  Forget the verge...he is very unattractive to me (by his comments anyway).

 

You sound like me.  I was actually underweight until I had my first baby.  The weight that I did gain fell off within 6 months.  I know--I was fortunate.  However, I gained more weight with my second child who was stillborn.  I was so depressed that I never lost the baby weight.  When I got pg and had a baby 2 years later, I had 15-20 pounds to lose.  It happened...just give it time, and try walking.  It's the only thing that works for me.  I started walking again a couple of months ago and now walk about 45 minutes every day.  I love the feeling and the weight loss.  Remember to give it time:  I know this is old, but Rome wasn't built in a day.  I hope this helps.  Hang in there!!  Diane

i need advice my daughter wants to move out to be with her boyfriend 24/7. She is continually causing arguments with me when she is at home and I feel like she just hates me. She has told me the only reason she is here is because she doesnt have a job to move out. We give her absolutely everything including a car, petrol money, spending money etc as we want her to get ahead in her life,  I dont know what to do whether I should let her move out and stop all means of financial providing for her in hope that she will appreciate all we have done for her.

Any advice would be appreciated

Is life just a choice I've heard many say it before.

There is no such thing as an accident of that I'm not so sure

Hindsight suggests there's more.

 

A life alert three year old boy a middle son to be

Taken from his squatters home his brother the last to see

An accident the cause burning pain one fee.

 

Where he went what he'd learn who he might be

Life was mean lessons by the ream no love until eighteen

He was infected by strangers mostly unclean

 

Abandonment and tears future hidden fears

His life change so dramatically he didn't feel for years

A life time of learning from society labeled peers

 

Chameleon like indifference to life's ebb and flow

His spirit wouldn't hide but it did get very low

Shutting out memories with many a painful blow

 

Learning fear no help was near except a voice in his inner ear

His baby years infected and often he as blamed

Was his life his choice or is life pre-ordained

 

Where did he get his strength to survive from if not from within

Did he choose the life he was living

Did he choose to be neglected to be blamed

Did he choose to be abused generally confused, never tamed

Did he choose to be emotionally tested to be molested again and again

Did he choose to carry a faulty gene with pain

 

Tell me Dr Phil Garry Zukav John Grey anyone if you will with the wisdom you've obtained

Was his life his choice or is life pre-ordained

 

 

    I have met people with no arms and no legs, the cause thalidomide, I met a man who could only move his head, the cause polio. I have met people with burns all over there body. Now that is body image problem.

   I consider my self very lucky because i've seen so much and i have burns on my arm my back and on half my head no hair has ever grown back, the cause an accident when i was three, i limp badly due to a badly damaged hip and have done for 40 plus years, i have one 12 inch scare on my stomach left side and a 4 inch scare on my right side another two scares 4 inches long on my damaged right hip the scares are due to a genetic problem my back is twisted.

   I was told freqently i was no good, i was beaten abused molested and neglected. I should have a body image problem but i don't why? because of people i have met and because i know there is a reason for everything. get real be honest with yourslf. Do you really have a body image problem or is it just in your head.