Topic : Self Image

Moreso than worrying about how you look to others, health concerns take a higher priority. If you feel good about yourself, you look good.

I could use some advice or insight here. 

 

I am transitioning into a new job, potentially in a new city and state.  I live in interracial relationships with my Lesbian partner and our adopted grandson/son.  We've been debating what will be our best move when I do get a job, should we adults not be able to move at the same time.  Should he come with me, his primary caregiver and go to gal--or should he stay where we've lived for several years so he wouldn't have to leave his Grandmother (my partner), school with its fabulous teacher and staff, and his scattered-around-town siblings?  What kinds of questions should be asking of ourselves and each other?  How do we weigh our personal needs with those of our child? 

 

All thoughts toward creating a peaceful and positive transition will be greatly appreciated.

  

  "let" has nothing to do with it.  She has her mind made up, she will leave.  She needs to  be lt to "bang her head against the wall", so she can know how it feels. 

 give her support and love, tough love withno monetarial support.  When she leaves your home.  she needs to make her own., HER way.   send her on her way,  be kind .

• HOW old is your daughter?  Is she the age of majority?
• WHY doesn't she have a job?
• WHY are you giving her absolutely everything?
• WHY are you tolerating the habitual arguing in YOUR home?

She's only there because she doesn't have a job?  Why then, doesn't she GET a job?  Seriously, why are you enabling this type of spoilt brat behaviour?  Are you afraid of losing her?  Are you giving her everything just so you won't lose her?

 

If she's not in school, she should be employed FULL time and paying you rent.  In addition, she should be helping with the mundane, day-to-day, household chores that are necessary to run a functioning household.  Using YOUR car?  She had better learn how to fill up the car because there aren't "gas fairies."  Unbelievable.

 

To be with her boyfriend 24/7?  Is he not working either or does she expect him to pay for her way in life?  Sorry, but life doesn't work that way.  To paraphrase Shakespeare, "You've got to be cruel to be kind" and in this case, I'd advise you cut her off financially completely.

 

Let her live with her boyfriend, get a job, etc.  She wants to join the "Big Kids Club" and that means employment, responsibility and making your own way in life. You and the rest of the world do not own her a living.

 

If you want her to get ahead in life, the school of hard knocks unfortunately, is the road sometimes travelled.  My guess is the she'll be back and when she does come back, have a set out rules written out that are to be followed.

How rude and inconsiderate some people are!

 

Honey, it took you almost  a year to have a baby and it can take a year or so get your body back to its pre-pregnant shape!  How do YOU feel about yourself when these buttnucks aren't saying asinine things?  Pretty good, right?  Well, to hell with them, then.

 

As for your husband ... how perfect is he?  Bet he's no George Clooney; more like George Constanza!

 

WHAT is your father in law doing even LOOKING at your backside?  Doesn't this comment make your husband wonder about his dad?

 

Ohhh, the fact that you gave your husband and his dad a child/grandchild ~ does THAT mean nothing?  How SUPERFICIAL can these two guys be?  They are more plastic than my credit card.

 

Who is "everyone" that your speaks of?  Your true friends wouldn't say anything.

 

Sounds like the gene pool needed some chlorinating and thank God you came along.

 

You take care of YOU and if and when you want, or feel like losing any more weight, do so on YOUR terms.

 

They say that you can tell what a woman will look like later in years by looking at her mother.  My retort to that is if you want to see how your man will treat you, observe how his dad treats his own wife.  BTW, what does your mother in law say, if anything at all?

 

Next time grandpa dearest says something about your backside, tell him that his mouth has gotten bigger too and is directly proportionate in size to your behind.

 

Next time hubby says that he's not attracted to  you, you calmly say, "Likewise."

 

I'd say that I was sorry for being so irate but I'd be lying.

 

Keep your head high and being a good person.  BTW, it took me about 18 months to get my figure back.

Well, i'm a teen going through all the skrewed up stuff in a girls life... oh my gosh...

I can't stand the acne that I have. It makes me very unconfident. I hide my face a lot with long bangs, and nobady likes it. My mom hates it and tells me to stop covering up my beautiful face, of course my reply is  I'm not it's just like... the style...    which of course it's NOT...

oh what in the world...

where can i begin? my self image is like a war zone. i feel like a war zone. i'm overweight and i have always been overweight. all throughout my schooling, kids picked on me, beat me up and everything that you can think of, it happened to me. i still remember those days. i am very self conscience. i hate my body. i am starting to hate myself for it. my depression is getting worse cuz of my low self esteem issues. sometimes i just dont want to be around my family. i have a 15 month old son, and i['m tryin my best to take off the weight but it seems like i cant. even when i eat good. and healthy. i eat threee meals a day no snacks or anything and i still gain weight lol. well thats all i gotta say right now. thanks for listening you guys.

 

 

My personal self image is always up and down, up and down.
I know as a fact that I'm actually a very attractive girl - I've been told that my whole life - but there's a part inside me that is always self doubting. Like no matter how I look, it'll never be good enough for me and I'll never really feel truly comfortable with myself.

I went through a pretty bad period in my teens, you know, when your body goes crazy on you. I got pretty severe acne all over my body, my long straight  glossy hair turned into a curly mess and so forth. It killed me. Every time I looked in a mirror I used to cry.
Now that I'm 21 I've managed to control my hair and my skin is as soft and smooth as ever, but I think I've been pretty scarred on the inside.

My parents were the worst of it all. Every day they used to pretty much judge how I looked. They'd tell me if my teeth weren't white enough, or if my legs had put on weight. Every day there was something new to pick about. My mother called me fat once in my teenage years. It's ridiculous. I've always  weighed just under 100 pounds. She used to even ask my dad who was the most attractive between us two.

Now that she has a new boyfriend it's still pretty farkin bad. He's the most shovanistic, sexist man I've probably ever come across. He insists that women wear stilettos at all times. Idiot....Anyways...They actually told me I had 'a fat arse' and a nose like Barbara Streissand. Actually...what they said was 'You have such a pretty face, and such beautiful features. You're a real stunner. Too bad about the nose. ' I know in my head this is totally not true and my friends are always reassuring me, telling me that they're idiots. My fiance thinks my nose is cute as hell and says I don't have enough butt lol, but you know. It beats me down. It makes me question myself. I feel like poo all the time cuz I'm stressing about what people are thinking all day long.

Whow. I sound so whiney. Hahahah!

x

My grandmother taught me to love myself inside and out.  She doesn't tolerate any "putdowns" in her house and she is always encouraging me.   From her, I learned the importance of exercise and being healthy.  Attitude is key, also.  You have to be happy with yourself---not envious of what someone else calls, "ideal."    There is a difference in being negative and being realistic.   I'll not reach 5'5" w/o heels and my brown eyes won't turn blue w/o colored contact lenses!  I am still beautiful!   Besides, I am going to take advantage of every opportunity this life has to offer because...LIFE IS TOO SHORT to be unhappy!

I am a 44 y/o divorced woman with 3 children.  I am 4;11 and have a very tiny frame.  I like myself and my weight and my looks.  My boyfriend says his fav things about me are my smile and eyes.  The rest is just 'icing on the cake'.  I have been told my sooooo many ppl that I have a nice body...butt and legs...but HIS view of me means more than all the others put together.  There are many women younger than I am that are out of shape and unhealthy but dont know why they can get it together....my advice is  ATTITUDE!  If you look at yourself in the mirror and say good day you great looking soul  - your attitude about yourself will change....quit listening to others to tell you whether your good or bad....it all comes from within YOU!