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Topic : 08/24 The Dr. Phil House: “Make My Kid a Star,” Part 3

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Created on : Friday, May 18, 2007, 12:42:02 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/21/07) Dr. Phil’s child star competition heats up! Seven kids with stars in their eyes face the final leg of the competition in The Dr. Phil House, but do their mothers unwittingly sabotage their chances? After speaking with Veronica, Kiki and Larissa about how they could be a liability to their child’s success, Dr. Phil turns to Kim and Susan. Playing a video clip of Kim’s daughter, Alaina, in an interview, Dr. Phil points out the pressure and stress that she feels and how it may affect her performance in school. Then, Dr. Phil shows a video of Susan assisting her daughter, Meagan, during the dance rehearsals. In the video, Meagan struggles under her demands. Will these mothers adjust their behavior and take on a healthy, supportive role in their child’s career? Then, it’s time for the final talent show! Each child performs on the Dr. Phil stage, in front of his studio audience and a panel of Hollywood’s top talent agents, managers and casting directors, who decide the grand-prize winner. The children receive fabulous prizes for their hard work, but they mean little to one upset mother. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

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August 24, 2007, 2:28 pm CDT

Showing Poor Sportmanship

Dear Dr. Phil

First,let me say I enjoy watching your show and your topics are things that happen in everyday people lives. Keep Up the good work. TELL Robyn hello i love her elegance  she displays on the set.

 

Now to the heart of why i  registered on your online website. The Mother on Make my Kid a Star was  pathetic and disgusting to me she really p****d  me off with the way she was showing her  child how to be a sore loser. He comments on the show just infuriated me, that a mother would say such things to a child. Her use of or should i say her poor choice of words was totally uncalled for. She must accpet the fact that her child will never win at everything. There will be occassion that she will come in second place or not even place at all. This is one of the worst things a parent can do is push their child/children to the level that she did. I have never wanted to hit a woman in my 44 years  of being on this planet but if i had been close to her she probably would have got a  piece of my mind.

 

Eventually, if she doen't calm down and teach the beautiful talented young child that she will not win at every thing that she compete in. She will cause a riff between her and her daughter and may even lead to SUICIDE; because she feels she can't live up to her mother's EXPECTATIONS. And to me she's a child . YES , we want our children to succed with their dreams, but not at the EXPENSE of losing them forever..

 

Her comments at the end of the show, displayed her lack of appreciation (when she stated i didn't come half-way across the world for no XBOX) UNGRATEFUL,DISGUSTING,INMATURE, POOR PARENTING SKILS. WELL i think you get the point. 

 

JUST HAD TO BLOW THIS STEAM.  

 
August 24, 2007, 2:36 pm CDT

My comments RE: the 3 part series

 There were a few things I noted about this show. One is that we did not see what went into how these kids/mom's were chosen to be on the show. Was it just from letters written to him by the mom's? Were there some talent scouts that went out to see these kids in action prior to being picked to be on this show? Meetings with the families/kids/moms beforehand? I imagine there were a gazzillion people trying to get on the show.

It appeared to me and I'll admit that as I stated earlier we weren't given too much background on the selection process so I'm making some presumptions here, but it appeared that Dr. Phil had an agenda, not to focus on the kids really but to focus on the moms. The kids were used to expose the moms. I'd say that from the beginning it is likely that a wide range of mothering types were wanted for the show. This is TV let's not forget.  I'm sure it was evident early on that Kiki was a very supportive mother to Gracie and that Gracie had some real talent. I'd also have to agree with comments made by Kyrian's moms in questioning why their strongest talents weren't focused on more. I would have loved to see her boys play their many instruments. And in defense of Veronica, I'd  venture to guess they knew beforehand the type of mother she was and they targeted her; they threw her into a stress filled situation and just watched her do what they knew she would. This is trickery at the expense of ratings.

I'd also say I wasn't that impressed with the selection of so called "talent" that was chosen. Not even the winner Gracie impressed me beyond belief. I believe that even this was part of Dr. Phil's agenda. The really talented kids are making it on their own already. As a mother of 5, I can honestly say that I have at least 2 children very involved in the performing arts; music (both vocal & instrumental - multiple instruments too) also acting they both could have outshined some of these kids.

We are taking the more laid back approach with them, we don't feel they need to be pushed to be child stars or to achieve fame. We nuture their talent with love, and support through lessons, and encouragement to study the arts when they go to college. We are not constantly at every competition or rehearsal pushing them to do better, rarely do we give them too many comments other than the normal great job; we leave that to the experts (music directors, acting directors, vocal & instrumental coaches & teachers). We want them to do things on their own. The world has enough pressure, they certainly don't need to think they need to do this for us or to help us pay the bills. I've often told my oldest that I could care less if she "makes it" but I care much more that she become a good and caring person and that she be educated.

Hollywood is a joke to me, and as someone here said earlier. Why is this the dream that these parents have for their kids? All you see in the media from Hollywood, is sex and scandal, drug additions, and broken marriages and families. The only semi luring thing is the money, but we all know money can't buy happiness or love. I am so much more respectful of those real actors and performers that never make it to the "big time". The ones that do it because they really just love it and have a passion for it. The local theatres actors who don't get a penny, but put on an excellent show after much hard work in rehearsals.

All that said I did see some talent displayed on this show, Kyrian did have a sparkle in his eye and I'm glad to see he may be on Seasme Street. And Gracie did well too but in fairness she's been living in LA experiencing what it's like there. I totally agree with previous comments in regard to the healthiness of seperating a family like Gracie's parents have. While I totally sense love from both parents and support, but I don't think this is good for the other kids they totally need their mom to give them just as much attention as she does to Gracie.  I have to say shame on pretty much all the mom's for their some of their display but also that we all do that sometimes; crack under pressure that is. Veronica, while I defended you earlier you played right into it and they knew you would. It's totally unappropriate for you to curse or to exploit your daughter's sexuality the way you do. We see enough skin on TV we certainly don't need to see children's skin too. In my opinion this borders on child porn. Put your money into getting your daughter some professional voice training (especially if her true interest is singing), instead of into exploiting her body.

Thanks to anyone who has taken the time to read my lengthy comments. :)  Good luck to all you kids - may you all find happiness in that which you have the most passion for.

 
August 24, 2007, 2:39 pm CDT

MY HEART BLEEDS

I think these mothers have to get a life and let there kids be kids.It's okay to help your kids achieve what they want but its not okay to be little them, remember your the mother the one they can look to for love and support.

 

 

Sincerely

 

Loving Mother 

 
August 24, 2007, 2:40 pm CDT

I wonder if Veronica was just simply disappointed with the way things went in the house and auditions.

Quote From: mama2aubrey

I was thinking about Maria and Veronica too and how she wouldn't say HOW Maria was doing....I am sure because she was embarrassed that she didn't have any jobs. So sad....
I think Veronica was shocked with DrP's take on her behavior and the fact that he was no-nonsense in her face. I think it made her angry and remember, she thought they were playing favorites. I'm not sure she can see herself the way she really is. I think that's why she wouldn't say how Maria was doing.
 
August 24, 2007, 2:45 pm CDT

Congrats Gracie/from the depths of my heart

Hello, my name is Dayna Lane~

 I love Dr. Phil and his shows. I think his topics are truly great and really there is so much to learn from his shows. I do feel that all the moms in the show were kinda hard on the kids except for Gracie's mom. Don't get me wrong, I believe that all the moms have good intentions, & are good moms, doing the best that they can as moms.

Hopefully, this will be a wake up call for all of them to support the kids and not be to hard on them. I myself am a singer and I have been working in the music industry for some time and I can tell you, it is not an easy road for the parents or the kids. I think if the moms just tone it down with their kids, the kids may be more successful. Nobody wants to be yelled at for trying. I understand that they want to push their kids to be successful but I do believe there is a better way for them to guide their children. I am grateful to my mom because she was not your A typical stereo type "Stage Mom"! She herself is a dancer and puts on a lot of musical theater acts on. A few per each year.  A lot of work! She always made me apart of her shows if I wanted to be apart of them. She never made me feel bad if I didn't want to sing in her shows. She was always happy to have me apart of it, but if I choose not to be in them, she was not hard on me at all!  My situation is somewhat different, because I new what I was born to do when I was very young. I was 3 when I began singing and it was my dream that I wanted. I new it was a gift given to me  from god and at a young age I wanted to mare a difference with a song. It was not my moms dream to have me be a singer. Granted I was kinda born into a family that was always on the stage, but it was still me that wanted to be a singer. My mom always supported me and did not push me to do anything I wasn't comfortable with.

Getting to the part I wanted to say about Gracie. I completely feel that she deserved the prize. I could tell that it was her own dream. Her mom did not at all seem like a "Stage Mom" to me. They both seem very genuine in that it is Gracie's dream. Her mom supports her daughter and believes in her child's passion. To all the other parents, you can't say she is not talented!Gracie did deserve the prize. She is a natural and obviously it was apparent from the beginning. Some kids are just born with a natural gift and I believe she has it! Not saying the other kids don't have the potential, because we all have potential to make our dreams come true with hard work, support and belief in ourselves. You gotta chase your dream and I would encourage all kids and adults to pursue their passions and dreams. We all just have different paths and thats what makes us all unique. The great thing about being a kid these days, is that now the Internet and all these talent shows on TV is a great chance for your kid to have a chance in television, singing, Broadway and so on.

Any who, I am getting carried away but I am passionate about this subject, because its my life, so I understand these parents and the kids. Gracie brought tears to my eyes when I saw her win. I am not joking. I was so happy for her joy that I too cried!I  was rooting for her to win, because she seems really passionate and genuine. The fact that her mom picked her life up and moved them to Cali, is just amazing to me. Gracie and her mom deserved this, Also, That was so nice of Gracie's mom to invite the rest of the kids and parents to join in on the prize they won! They are genuine people. I believe that being genuine in the heart will take you far! I say be in the business because you love to act, sing and so on. Don't get into the business to be famous. That will come if you are genuine. Plus its more appealing to others to see you do it for the passion. Well, sorry I babbled on and on but I just wanted to share my feelings and I wanted to congratulate Gracie and I wish her loads of success!! Congrats to all the kids who also tried and did a great job! Keep trying and keep on believing. You will figure out along your way if this is for you or not!! All My love xoxoxoxox Dayna Lane

 
August 24, 2007, 3:02 pm CDT

Been There

My children were very involved with children productions, dance competitions, and music/vocal activities  locally when they were younger.  The stage mom's were very typical.  For me as a single mother it was a fun family activity.  I didn't

 have the resources or the time to do commercial auditions of major productions in the city. As a family, the three of us were very happy to kids go big time, and 9 out of 10 were the nice ones without the stage mom. I have to admit that there were times when I thought results of competitions  weren't always right , or encouraged my kids a little much. I always tried to back off when they weren't having fun. My son decided to quit when he was 11 and my daughter for financial reasons switched to just school stuff by the time she was in high school. Now in their early 20's , they both love to speak publicly. My daughter is an NBA cheerleader an models  and my son plays in 2 bands. What i'm trying to say is that the talent these kids  have will show through if the moms back off and let them have fun. Otherwise they will avoid it and resent it.

 
August 24, 2007, 3:07 pm CDT

The 2nd time around

After seeing that this series of episodes was going to air, the "cringe & creep factor" almost kept me from watching again.  I thought, perhaps with the passage of time, these mothers weren't really as bad as first thought.  Boy, was I wrong. 

Kiki is a little over the top, but it appears that she is the kind of stage mom who has a genuinely healthy relationship with Gracie and is more likely to get along with the pros.  Whether or not Gracie ever achieves "star status", IMO she has a bright acting future ahead of her and I wish her all the best.

 

At the other end of the spectrum is Veronica.  Poor Veronica, trying so hard and yet not understanding that stubborn determination alone does not make a star.  "You don't gotta wave your hand in front of my face" might be fitting for an episode of The Sopranos, but yikes, not as a rebuke to Dr. Phil.  "I didn't come all this way for an X-box" was another classless whopper.  Veronica just doesn't know when to shut up.  And despite the repeated instructions to tone down poor Maria's "sexed up" looks, she still sent her daughter onstage with a strapless dress and heavily gelled hair.  It's not surprising that she didn't cooperate with the follow-up.  Here's hoping she's sufficiently embarrassed to change her street-smart, wholly unattractive ways.  Otherwise, Maria is going to suffer.

 

The other three mothers weren't as bad as Veronica, but they were pretty bad.  I'm genuinely happy for Kerian, but I hope his mother has calmed down.  Megan has LOUD confused with acting and I hope that several years in community and school theatre help her to develop a stage presence that coincides with her natural talent and desires.  Unfortunately, the other girl was so lackluster that even after watching all 3 episodes twice, I can't remember her name. 

 

Please Dr. Phil.  Don't do another show on stage mothers anytime soon. 

 

P.S.  And if I never again hear "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star", it'll be too soon. 

 
August 24, 2007, 3:22 pm CDT

08/24 The Dr. Phil House: “Make My Kid a Star,” Part 3

Quote From: lynne415

I was only able to see Part I of these episodes,  At first I felt quite smug in that I was not like any of those mothers on the show, but then as I watched the entire show, I had a "light bulb" moment and it occured to me that indeed I used to display some of those exact tendency.  I may not aspire to have my child be a star, but I did some of the same things when it comes to my child's homework especially when it came to any type of school projects. I wanted him to do the best, which translated into him "....being the best."   I have perfectionistic tendencies and when I used to sit down to "help" my child, I wasn't helping him, I was trying to make him do things that wasn't who he was. 

 

Both my son and I have worked through the issues, and he now lets me know when he needs my help and what I can do.  I also know my triggers and I back off.  In fact, I can happily say my son has done all his own work this year in school and by no means were they the best in the class but they were really good. Most importantly,  he was so proud that he had done the projects and work all by himself.   

 

So before we judge these parents harshly and feel smug in our own parenting styles, do a self-inventory as well as take a look around.  How many time do we see parents like this in our schools and at sporting events.  You could put other parents in this house and call it "Make My Kid a Genius" or "Make My Kid a Super Athlete" etc.  The harm that can be done to the children would be very similar.

 

 

I agree.  I think Gracie's mother was judged less harshly because her child had more talent.  If a child "makes" it in Hollywood or on Broadway, or the world of sports, then their parents are thought of as encouraging, and motivating and sacrificing.  Just recently I was watching a episode on Oprah and they clapped for the mother of the boy that made it in the movie "Hairspray" for moving to Hollywood for her son to pursue his dream.  Had he not landed the part, we would have thought she was crazy.  And how many times do we see parents of children in sports.  Think of the Olympic gymnasts and how young they are, and away from home.  But if the children "make" it, parents are perceived differently.

 

 
August 24, 2007, 4:31 pm CDT

America's Got Talent

I realize that these shows were really about the way the mom's interacted with their children, and I hope they learned from the experience. (I suspect the mom who said, "We didn't come this far for an X-Box" didn't.) I would have liked to see the kids, without their mothers present, asked point blank whether they really wanted to be doing this, or were just trying to please their parents.

I would also like to comment on the talent aspects of the show. The kid's obviously have talent, especially Gracie. A couple of the girls who sang had intonation problems, and desperately need to learn to interpret a song rather than just recite it. I hope they got more detailed one-on-one feedback from the judges than was shown, so that they learn from the experience.

The three boys who performed together invite comparison with the Marx Brothers, who also had a pushy stage mother. I don't know whether there is room for such an act today, but it would be nice to see them continue to work together in that mode, even as they promote their individual careers.
 
August 24, 2007, 4:39 pm CDT

To the lady that complained about everything

I hope your Daughter is reading this for I am more concerned about her than you. I think you know that you made a complete fool of yourself and that you embarrased yourself in a big way. In such a way that you are now "That weird lady" in your home town, that person that after walking into a store, all the other people that saw the show start whispering, etc. I also can't imagine how difficult it is going to be for your Daughter to just be herself after your embarrassed your family so much. You are a terrible excuse for a Mother, and your anger and body language was almost to difficult to watch. It was like a car wreck you saw happening right in front of you. You walked into every trap Dr. Phil set for you, and you topped it off by not offering your comments like all the other parents (so how many shows is your Daughter on, for I know you didn't go all the way to LA for a Playbox 360). I think to your amazement, your Daughter is probably horrifed this thing ever aired, for there is not one person in the industry that would  touch her because of you (which is really a shame for her for she seems to be a great kid). You are the liability, and a major negative one at that. I hope your Daughter has a solid group of friends that she can be around that know her issues come directly from you. I hope she finds another area of interest and is very happy and successful (i.e. sports). I know I echo the millons that watched your crash (yours and not your Daughters.... and you better realize this ASAP) when you walked into your home to see the looks of the people that were there to greet you. I can't imagine how embarrassed and humilated you feel, but I hope it wakes you up to see how everyone outside of your mirror now looks at you (for unfortunately, you showed your real colors for America, your family, your community, etc. over the past two days). I give your Daugther a ton of credit to live in your household, and I hope she becomes very successful in what SHE WANTS TO DO. I give her a lot of credit, for she basically told America what she has to put up with by having you hound her, and just minutes later in the shows it became very obvious she was right. I really think you need some professional help, for I don't think you realize the damage you caused yourself (and related). It really is time to get yourself some help, for you have only a few more years with your Daugther living under your roof. I just hope it's not too late for you to correct the emotional damage you caused her!
 
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