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Topic : 08/24 The Dr. Phil House: “Make My Kid a Star,” Part 3

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Created on : Friday, May 18, 2007, 12:42:02 pm
Author : DrPhilBoard1
(Original Air Date: 05/21/07) Dr. Phil’s child star competition heats up! Seven kids with stars in their eyes face the final leg of the competition in The Dr. Phil House, but do their mothers unwittingly sabotage their chances? After speaking with Veronica, Kiki and Larissa about how they could be a liability to their child’s success, Dr. Phil turns to Kim and Susan. Playing a video clip of Kim’s daughter, Alaina, in an interview, Dr. Phil points out the pressure and stress that she feels and how it may affect her performance in school. Then, Dr. Phil shows a video of Susan assisting her daughter, Meagan, during the dance rehearsals. In the video, Meagan struggles under her demands. Will these mothers adjust their behavior and take on a healthy, supportive role in their child’s career? Then, it’s time for the final talent show! Each child performs on the Dr. Phil stage, in front of his studio audience and a panel of Hollywood’s top talent agents, managers and casting directors, who decide the grand-prize winner. The children receive fabulous prizes for their hard work, but they mean little to one upset mother. Share your thoughts, join the discussion.

Find out what happened on the show.

More August 2007 Show Boards.

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May 20, 2007, 8:38 am CDT

bless you and your wife's support

Quote From: graciesdad

Everyone's really excited for Monday's big finale!  We've all had a couple of days now to digest Parts 1 & 2 along with the all the emotions and thoughts we found ourselves processing individually and a family.  I can say to Dr. Phil's viewers without hesitation that this experience has been a very valuable learning exercise for Gracie and for our family.  In our conversations, Gracie, Kiki, Steve, Warren, Nicole and I all agree that the show brought out some very important issues for us to address as a family if we truly want to be the kind of loving and supportive family that we want to be.

First, we've heard right from Gracie's own words and emotions that she's feeling much more pressure to "make it" than we were previously aware.  Sure, we certainly know that Gracie has a natural tendency to take things a little harder and more seriously than other 11 year old kids, but, we had never been confronted with the harsher reality of the self-pressure that she's experiencing now that she's really out there giving her dream her best shot.  There's no doubt that we (Kiki, Steve, Nicole and I) owe it to Grace to do a much better job of reinforcing to her that her value as a human being and as our child has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that she's our child and that our love and support will always be absolutely unconditional.  We also are going to do a much better job emphasizing to her that the real value of any heartfelt pursuit is always in the journey itself rather than the destination.  Trust us, we are just as imperfect as any parent out there watching this special or reading these message boards and we are doing our best to absorb the lessons that Dr. Phil's opporunity has for us and then to apply them in a way that not only helps Gracie be a happier and healthier kid, but, that helps us each be a better parent and a better person.

One interesting by-product of this experience is that I've been able to have great conversations with Warren about the clear risks of seeking fame for fame's sake versus seeking a deep satisfaction from the the craft of being the best actor or actress (or engineer, or attorney, or physician, or fireperson, or financial advisor, or parent et al) that you can become.  Kiki and Grace are having similar conversations.  We are going to put a lot of effort over the summer when they will both be spending time together here in Kentucky into gaining a perspective on how to have unlimited dreams and ambitions while maintaining a healthy life perspecitve.

 

Overall, this has been a wonderful, timely and valuable experience for Gracie and for our family!  We'll be watching Monday's show with great expectation and a fixed determination to not let the lessons of this experience go unlearned or unapplied.  The truth is that each of the kids on this show have lots of talent and given the right set of circumstances and a bit of luck, they will each achieve great things in life.  Of course, isn't it that way for most of us in life?

 

So, we'll all be watching with great interest to see how these great kids perform their own chosen material in front of a live studio audience as well as a panel of industry experts.  To this point, remember that the kids have had to perform material that didn't always play to their individual strengths.  If you think you know how this whole thing winds up, you might be very surprised!  Producers don't like to give away their big endings and great plot twists are par for the course with these type of shows. 

 

Gracie's already had more success during Part 1 & 2 than we could have ever expected.  After Part 3 has aired, I'll post my final thoughts about the outcome and a final thanks to Dr. Phil for the opportunity along with our congratulations to the overall winner!

 

Stay tuned, Part 3's going to be a lot of fun....

 

Gracie's Dad (and Warren's Too!)

i am happy and proud of the sacrifices you have made to support your daughter's decision and talent... of the bunch, she seems to be the only one genuinely more interested in persuing her talent than her mother... and your wife's grace and dignity amidst the nest of vipers is definately commendable... she conducts herself in a professional manner, which is what your daughter needs at this point... a responsible tactful representative to put forth your daughters best interests at a grown up level... 

it's never easy to split up a family, and it's never easy to break into the "business"  so compounded, your child and your wife are maintaing a level of devotion and positive thinking necessarry for the long term dedication to the goal your daughter has set forth...

 

and a tip for gracie...

"we've decided to go in another direction just means that... it's not a rejection, just a misdirection, and a chance to redirect your efforts toward a different role... for every door closed, a window opens somewhere... keep up the good work sweetie!!! you to mom, you are awesome... i envy your composure.

 
May 20, 2007, 9:36 am CDT

05/21 The Dr. Phil House: “Make My Kid a Star,” Part 3

Quote From: puck99

Thanks for your concern. If our guys book three commercials in one day, that's not a bad thing, is it? Even if it's only three auditions the same day.......we've already done it. All this stuff is in NYC, and it's not too hard to get around. You're absolutely right that the kids should decide if they want to act or not. Ours have made that decision. Kyrian, for example, gets enormously upset with us if he doesn't get sent on auditions. Basically, we just work for him. And yesterday, by the way, he played at Carnegie Hall for the fourth year in a row in an honors recital put on by his music school. We're not making this stuff up. We don't have to.

Basically we just work for him

 

Do you not see what a warped situation this is? These three boys are living such a screwed up life. Lessons, practice, auditions, call backs, rejection, dejection....with the exception of Kyrian (the only one with the slightest appeal) they seem miserable.

 

I have four children. They have all modelled and two have been in TV commercials. WE NEVER WENT ON AUDITIONS; they were approached and signed through their looks and personality. They are adults now and never made an attempt to continue in this field. They had a very healthy touch of "celebrity" and needed no more.

 

My daughter took dance lessons for 8 years. One day she announced she was tired of it. We talked about it seriously and respected her decision. I saw many talented kids who were totally burned out by parental pressure.

 

I think the seven kids on the Dr. Phil show were chosen for the volatility of the Moms. One or two of them are attractive, none seem especially talented and I can't imagine seeking out any of them on a TV program or watching for them on a commercial. I do not see a "star" in this group.

 

Drop back parents, let these kid have a more normal life. Listen to some of the common sense and logic on this message board.

 

 

 
May 20, 2007, 12:32 pm CDT

Right on, Sister!

Quote From: earoosi

Every out of control mother aired on this show should read your story 10 times over, just in case there might be a small chance they could learn from your experience.  Unfortunately, it seems most of them are too blinded by unrealistic visions for their children (or themselves) to "get it".

It's obvious to me that your family is extremely well adjusted. I predict that this young lady will have great success in every aspect of her future.  Bravo to you all!

You are right on that this family seems to really "get it".  I hope these other fame addicted parents read this story 100 times or until they can see how blind they really are.  It's very obvious to me as well that this family is "extremely well-adjusted".  It just goes to show you that the folks watching Dr. Phil regularly and then taking time out of their day to post to these message boards are the folks who are out there raising the next generation of this world's leaders.

 

Unfortunately, I think the chances are even worse than "small" that anyone will learn from this experience.  One thing's for sure, when we see this kind of pathetic parenting, we'll be the first to jump on here and set them straight!  I'm glad we have examples such as this mother/daughter team to show that it can be done -- if they just find a way to open their eyes!

 

Bravo to you too!!

 

~Holden Coalfield

 
May 20, 2007, 1:51 pm CDT

GET REAL

Quote From: lind24

 TO ALL OF THESE OBSESSED PARENTS:

 

  PLEASE, SOMETIME SOON, LOSE WEIGHT, BUY A NEW SPORTSCAR,

  MAYBE GET A CHEMICAL PEEL, FACELIFT OR EVEN NEW WARDROBE.

 

DO WHATEVER IT IS THAT MAKES YOU! HAPPY- JUST STOP PUSHING PRESSURE

ON THESE CHILDREN... 

I hope GOD has mercy on these children, the mothers DO NOT.

To me this is just another form of child abuse.

SO where are social services, the dads, grandparents or even a teacher, or school counselor?

I hope these kids get help soon.

 
May 20, 2007, 2:38 pm CDT

05/21 The Dr. Phil House: “Make My Kid a Star,” Part 3

I am a mother of 3 teenagers and take it from me, it doesn't work when you try to live vicariously through your children. The majority of these parents need lives outside of their "litle stars." Whatever will these mothers do when the kids are grown and gone? Who will they focus on then? Maybe some need to focus on the husbands and families that they have. I feel that all the children on the show are very beautiful and talented and look forward to the finale.
 
May 20, 2007, 3:03 pm CDT

Pathetic stage moms

I feel these mothers are living out their fantasies in their children.  I watched and it seems to me that  these children by and large were no more talented than any other child.  We all think our children are marvelous, wonderfully talented people but let's face it, some children only their mothers can love.  Most of these young people are so afraid of disappointing their mothers or making them angry that they try to do everything they want them to do.  On the subject of inappropriate dressing of one young lady I am reminded of another child star who at times was dressed like a lady of the night and was only 6 years old.  And that person was JonBenet Ramsey.  I can only pray that these mothers will wake up and come to grips with themselves to see if it is them or their children who wish to be stars. 
 
May 20, 2007, 4:10 pm CDT

nothing extraordinary

It's nice that these kids have big dreams and are allowed to explore them but sadly I do not see any more talent in these kids except for maybe 2 that even comes close to becoming a star.  A good parent would encourage them by letting them take classes, lessons, and helping them to participate in school plays etc.  NOT BY PUSHING THEM.  Most of these kids have very little chance of becoming a star and the parents are just setting them up for multiple rejections which will do a real number on their self esteems.  Makes me wonder just whose dream this is, or are the dollar signs in their eyes blinding them?  Let them be kids.  Very few kids "make it, so stop wasting their childhoods on a farfetched dream.  You only get one.
 
May 20, 2007, 4:33 pm CDT

Support & encourage don't demand & insult

It's very important that parents be encouraging and supportive of their children's endeavors, but instead of being positive support systems, these shows have illustrated that many parents instead become demanding and insulting slave-drivers without ever stopping to think about how they are damaging the fragile and precious self esteem of their kids. As a victim of child abuse, (and I am NOT implying that I think ANY of these kids are being abused, I'm just using this statement to make a point) I can tell you without a doubt, the hateful and cruel remarks these mothers are making towards their children will leave a far deeper wound and lasting sting than if they were to physically hit them. Kids do need advice, direction, guidance and sometimes even a little prodding, but it should be done in a positive, constructive way, not in a vicious, demeaning one.

 

I think the mothers need to remove the blinders of fame and fortune, and realistically assess the chances their kids have of becoming the next big star. They need to really listen to the feedback they've been receiving from Dr. Phil and the professionals in the industry that have been critiquing their children on their performances. They need to remember that just because their kids may not have what it takes to be a star right now, that doesn't mean they can't cultivate and improve their craft to pursue a career in show business later in life.

 

I'm sure most parents would love to see our children become famous, walking the red carpet and making a ton of money. But not every child possess the talent, drive or charisma to make that happen. Everyone is so obsessed with believing their kids can be whatever they want to be if they set their mind to it, and for the most part that's absolutely true, but they seem to forget that realistically that thought cannot apply 100% across the board. If my daughter wanted to be a world famous singer (she can't even carry a tune in a bucket and I doubt that would change no matter how many voice lessons I paid for her to have), as her parent I need to be honest with her and gently tell her that is not a realistic goal and guide her into choosing something more in line with her talents and skills.

 

Of all the kids on this show, I think Gracie is the only one that currently has what it takes to work in show business right now at a level beyond just doing an occasional print ad or commercial. I think the biggest problem with determining who will actually "win" is that these kids are being judged in too many different areas. They're being forced to perform as if their only shot in show business will be getting on a Disney or Nickelodeon show where they will have to act, dance and sing. While she has the most overall talent, I don't think Gracie sings that well. I think one of the other girls (I'm drawing a blank as to what her name is, but she was the other young blond one) has an amazing voice and should focus her energies on becoming a singer.

 

I honestly don't care who actually does win, I just hope that these mothers realize that they need to change the way they interact with their kids and provide positive support and encouragement. That's a something they can all be winners at.

 
May 20, 2007, 4:38 pm CDT

Wow!!

Quote From: drfilisgr8

My daughter at one time wanted to be a "big time" actress as a much as I didn't want it for her (come on ladies name one child star that is a well adjusted and happy young adult) I felt I had to let her try. She was 12 at the time and of course I too thought she was the most talented beautiful....... so we signed with one of the top agencies here in Toronto.

 

She did her acting  and modeling classes. She had 12 auditions and believe it or not 11 call backs. She ended up making 3 international commercials. One audition was for the movie  A Series of Unfortunate Events.  We actually had the Hollywood script in our hands!!!! She was auditioning for the Violet the lead girl in the movie.  They started out with 10,000 girls and my daughter  made it to the cut of 200.  She was so happy with that. For me it was many sleepless nights knowing that if she did get the part we would have to leave my husband and younger son for about 6 months.  I felt sick. Again it kept going through my head that this was not the life I wanted for her.

 

Finally we got the call she had been waiting for. Her agent called to say that they wanted my daughter for a part in a weekly series.  They were shooting a pilot and they would pay her $10,000 for 7 days work. It was late August and shooting would start the 2nd week of September. I had such mixed feelings, happy for her but nervous too. I sat her down and told her expecting her to be excited and jumping up and down. She looked at me and said " I am so sorry mom but I don't want to do it, I really applicate every thing you have done for me but it is so boring sitting around and waiting all the time and I am starting High School and I can't miss 7 days of school."!!!!!  I could not believe what I was hearing!!!! We talked about the money and I told her she would have it made for University. She would not have to worry about working and for her to really think about it before I called her agent. She went to her room and 2 hours later she came down stairs and told my husband I that her decision was final and the answer was no. The pressure of starting High School and missing the 1st 2 weeks was too much.

Talk about the moment when I was the proudest of my daughter. She is now in grade 11, an honor roll student, happy with lots of close friends and has no regrets.

 

These moms are so selfish and are only thinking about themselves!!!!!

You know, this is one of the most incredible stories I have heard in a long time.  Your daughter seems to have her priorities straight, and you seem so very understanding to what your children/family want.  Kudos to you.  That is what parenting is all about
 
May 20, 2007, 5:02 pm CDT

Keep it real

Quote From: graciesdad

Everyone's really excited for Monday's big finale!  We've all had a couple of days now to digest Parts 1 & 2 along with the all the emotions and thoughts we found ourselves processing individually and a family.  I can say to Dr. Phil's viewers without hesitation that this experience has been a very valuable learning exercise for Gracie and for our family.  In our conversations, Gracie, Kiki, Steve, Warren, Nicole and I all agree that the show brought out some very important issues for us to address as a family if we truly want to be the kind of loving and supportive family that we want to be.

First, we've heard right from Gracie's own words and emotions that she's feeling much more pressure to "make it" than we were previously aware.  Sure, we certainly know that Gracie has a natural tendency to take things a little harder and more seriously than other 11 year old kids, but, we had never been confronted with the harsher reality of the self-pressure that she's experiencing now that she's really out there giving her dream her best shot.  There's no doubt that we (Kiki, Steve, Nicole and I) owe it to Grace to do a much better job of reinforcing to her that her value as a human being and as our child has nothing to do with anything other than the fact that she's our child and that our love and support will always be absolutely unconditional.  We also are going to do a much better job emphasizing to her that the real value of any heartfelt pursuit is always in the journey itself rather than the destination.  Trust us, we are just as imperfect as any parent out there watching this special or reading these message boards and we are doing our best to absorb the lessons that Dr. Phil's opporunity has for us and then to apply them in a way that not only helps Gracie be a happier and healthier kid, but, that helps us each be a better parent and a better person.

One interesting by-product of this experience is that I've been able to have great conversations with Warren about the clear risks of seeking fame for fame's sake versus seeking a deep satisfaction from the the craft of being the best actor or actress (or engineer, or attorney, or physician, or fireperson, or financial advisor, or parent et al) that you can become.  Kiki and Grace are having similar conversations.  We are going to put a lot of effort over the summer when they will both be spending time together here in Kentucky into gaining a perspective on how to have unlimited dreams and ambitions while maintaining a healthy life perspecitve.

 

Overall, this has been a wonderful, timely and valuable experience for Gracie and for our family!  We'll be watching Monday's show with great expectation and a fixed determination to not let the lessons of this experience go unlearned or unapplied.  The truth is that each of the kids on this show have lots of talent and given the right set of circumstances and a bit of luck, they will each achieve great things in life.  Of course, isn't it that way for most of us in life?

 

So, we'll all be watching with great interest to see how these great kids perform their own chosen material in front of a live studio audience as well as a panel of industry experts.  To this point, remember that the kids have had to perform material that didn't always play to their individual strengths.  If you think you know how this whole thing winds up, you might be very surprised!  Producers don't like to give away their big endings and great plot twists are par for the course with these type of shows. 

 

Gracie's already had more success during Part 1 & 2 than we could have ever expected.  After Part 3 has aired, I'll post my final thoughts about the outcome and a final thanks to Dr. Phil for the opportunity along with our congratulations to the overall winner!

 

Stay tuned, Part 3's going to be a lot of fun....

 

Gracie's Dad (and Warren's Too!)

Dear Gracie's Dad:  Remember Gracie is just a kid.  Although your wife seems to be the most well grounded, it can be so very easy to pressure your child without realizing your pressuring.  This can be true in any situation we enter with our children (Been true in my life with my own kids!)Gracie seems to be under an enormous amount of pressure.  If you've watched tv at all you know that statistically child actors do not fare well later in life.  Whatever it takes, this pressure needs to be relieved from Gracie.  Good luck to you.
 
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